Comments | flawsrevenge: fic: Pier at Midnight

flawsrevenge

fic: Pier at Midnight

Apr 20, 2008 13:04

Title: Pier at Midnight
Fandom: Prison Break
Characters: Michael/Sara
Word Count: a bit under 400
Rating: PG probably, for kissing and groping and mushy stuff.
Warning: Big chunk of text; no paragraph breaks.
Notes: Written for the challenge "There's no place like home" at
( Read more... )

prison break, fic

Comments 15

wrldpossibility April 20 2008, 18:41:06 UTC

Oh, the imagery here is wonderful! It feels so intimate, even while out in public, in wind and rain.

flawsrevenge April 23 2008, 03:12:27 UTC

Thank you!

It's based on a true story actually, and definitely a true place (Navy Pier to be precise), although I was not one of those making out on the pier in the storm, unfortunately.

wrldpossibility April 23 2008, 04:44:54 UTC

Oh, intriguing! lol You do a good job setting the scene.

OMG! pbeeslysweater April 21 2008, 03:30:28 UTC

OMG! I nearly had a heart attack...welcome to the dark side my friend...you've officially written shipper fic. *grins widely and laughs maniacally at her success in conversion*.
Wonderfully done. Such a lovely, tranquil, yet vibrant moment. Those are the ones you remember the most...especially when in prison, or on the lam...or in prison again...or whatever. ;)
And yes, I'm writing this ON THE BUS...the bus has WIFI! Best thing ever!

Re: OMG! flawsrevenge April 23 2008, 03:13:40 UTC

Oh shipper fic. See how you've corrupted me? *feels dirty, goes to find sandpaper to scrub it out*

danni18 April 21 2008, 22:20:53 UTC

Very descriptive, I loved this line, Her hair is a waterfall, and he brushes his hand under it, letting streams of water and hair rush through his fingers.

I could picture them in my mind, nicely written

flawsrevenge April 23 2008, 03:14:38 UTC

Thank you! This is the first time I've written anything so...intimate, so I'm glad it works!

burntcircles April 22 2008, 03:20:32 UTC

I said it before, and I'll say it again: you have a way of writing a moment so vividly that one can't help but look beyond its seeming mundaneness and see magic. And the long paragraph just works for me. I think you did a great job!

flawsrevenge April 23 2008, 03:17:06 UTC

I'm glad the long paragraph wasn't a turn off. I experimented with some paragraph breaks but nothing felt right, so, there it is. And thank you! My next challenge it to learn how to string moments together with something resembling plot...

scribblecat April 27 2008, 01:16:23 UTC

*loves*
It's all very very good! Thunder, rain, Michael, Sara, laughing, kissing. Can't go wrong there ;) *flails*

flawsrevenge April 28 2008, 02:00:35 UTC

Thank you! Although reading the prompt for the next challenge I feel like I should have held off... ;-)