Regulating Love

[flamespirit]

Today a friend mentioned the concept of "regulating love" and how she doesn't do it very well. It's something I'd never heard before, although I imagine I've done it before and been on the receiving end of it before, without having had a phrase to describe it.

It's been rolling around in my head ever since.

Is it even possible for me? Do I want it

Comments

[fairerhiannon]

~tilts head to the side~

I think I need more information on what she considers "regulating love".

[flamespirit]

I'm not sure what she considers it to be actually. The phrase just popped out at me during our IM chat and buzzed around in my head for the rest of the day. It seemed meaningful, like I had something to learn from it.

Without knowing how my friend meant it, is it meaningful to you in any way? If so, I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[fairerhiannon]

It strikes me as a really odd statement. I've never considered love as something to be regulated or controlled, like it has to be doled out in bits and pieces.

Love just is. You feel it or you don't, at different levels with different people.

[flamespirit]

Actually, the part I do know and the part I left out: it was in reference to poly and being a second....

[kittycat2512]

You've got me thinking too.
I've experienced it used as a control measure.

What does it mean to me? Perhaps in my black and white view, love is something you either feel or don't feel. For me - personally speaking - I don't believe you regulate the emotion as much as you regulate the act; those things that show you love. I'm a firm believer of unconditional love but that just ties in with my black and white view. Shades of grey are difficult for me - and that, I am discovering - is one of my lifes lessons.

[flamespirit]

Thanks for commenting Charms. I remember who used it as a controlling measure on you. What an evil bastard he turned out to be! I also remember now you believing in unconditional love...*soft smile*...my eternally romantic friend...sad to say, I don't :-(...and I wish I could...so glad you still do, after all you've been through.

There are definitely degrees of love. But to be able to regulate it...I just don't know. Not without unhealthy suppression, I would think. You're right about regulating the act though, that is of course possible.