Chapter 6 - God Has A Plan For Us All
Chapter Six
I was starting to feel quite relaxed as I headed for the rectory. I entered the room through the large wooden doors to the smell of freshly cooked carrot soup and bread. I took my seat at the end of one of the wooden benches and readied myself to say grace.
As we were waiting for everyone to be seated, I looked up and Father Kari’s deep eyes met my own. A stab of pain hit my heart like lightning and I instantly felt like I was going to be violently sick. How could this man have such a horrible effect on me when weeks before, he was my mentor, my connection with The Lord God and like a father to me? I hated how things had changed, how they had become. Was it really my duty to God?
I tore my eyes away from his gaze and stared down at my soup, readying myself for prayer, hoping no-one else noticed my seemingly odd behaviour.
Everyone was seated now and thankfully no-one had noticed anything. Bowing our heads, Father Kari started in prayer.
“Almighty God, bless this meal and let us thank you for this food we have here before us. We also ask for you to watch over those less fortunate than ourselves and provide for them in their hour of need. Amen.”
“Amen” the whole room echoed.
I finished my meal in total silence with my head kept low, trying my hardest to avoid anyone’s eyes. Cleaning my plate, I scurried out of the rectory and headed off for my afternoon tasks.
Being as it was a Saturday today and there was an evening service for the surrounding villagers at six thirty, the church was to be cleaned and the statues and gold candlesticks were to be dusted and polished thoroughly beforehand. Our evening prayers were at seven thirty, and then we had from eight o’clock onwards free for our own studies and in preparation for the Sabbath day.
My duties on a Saturday afternoon were to clean the church ready for Father Kari’s inspection at six o’clock. This I was dreading. Not the work, but having to be alone with Father Kari again this evening.
I headed for the cupboard where the dusters, brooms, mops and polishes were kept. Sister Joan met me there and unlocked the cupboard, I retrieved the things I needed for my afternoons work and headed for the church which was quite a way away from the main part of the monastery. I crossed the main courtyard and looked up at Father Kari’s window, feeling a little nauseous as I did so. I regained my composure and carried on for the church, Sister Joan just a little way ahead of me.
When we reached the church, Sister Joan unlocked the main door from the monastery to the church, I entered and she closed the heavy door behind me, leaving me to my duties for the afternoon.
I stood for a moment, taking in the beauty of this little church and its beautiful carved wooden ceiling beams when I heard movement at the other end of the church.
“Who’s there?” I called, half pathetically.
Nothing.
“Who’s there?!” I called again, this time with as much authority as I could muster.
“It’s just me, Brandon, my dear boy”
Again, that sick feeling rose in my throat. Father Kari was sitting in one of the back pews in the corner by the confessionals.
“O-oh, father, I didn’t know you were there.” I said with slight fear in my voice.
“There’s no need to be scared, my boy.”He said with that usual reassuring tone, which had I not known better, would have made me feel instantly at ease. “Never mind me, just carry on as you were. Imagine I’m not here.”
Imagine he’s not there?! If only it were that easy. I could almost feel his staring eyes burning holes into me, my brain screaming so loud and my face going redder by the second.
I picked up the first thing I got my hands on which happened to be a broom and started to sweep the alter steps, trying to keep as far away from him as long as I could. Avoiding going all around the church and finally right past him would be impossible unless I wanted to give him a reason to punish me for not doing a proper job. I thought that if I could get everything else done then finish the sweeping at the far end I could just get out as fast as I could as soon as it was done.
I started to meticulously polish the alter candlesticks and all the things for the bread and wine. Once I had finished all of that and I could find no more excuses to prolong not sweeping the rest of the church, I picked up the broom with a sigh and headed down the aisle towards the back and, inevitably, Father Kari. Placing the head of the broom on the floor, no more than fifteen feet away from him, I started to sweep again.
It had to be nearing six o’clock by my reckoning before Father Kari said anything to me. I was pretty much finished and just wanted to get away from being alone with him when he turned to me.
“You’ve done an absolutely fantastic job this afternoon Brandon. You are definitely an example to the others.”
“Erm, thank you Father.” I said graciously, as the bell tolled six, and still really wanting to get out of the church and back to the main monastery. “I really should be getting back for dinner if you’ll excuse me Father?”
“Of course Brandon. Collect your things and we can walk back together.” Father Kari said.
I swear I could detect the tiniest bit of a smirk on his face and one-up-man-ship in his voice. I could do nothing but force out half a smile at him, my heart feeling something I’d never felt before…pure hatred and anger, burning inside me at this man that had raised me from a small boy.
Mentally scolding myself for such sinful thoughts, I rushed to collect my things and headed back to the monastery at Father Kari’s side.
Sitting down for dinner in silence, I avoided everyone’s eyes again and cleared my plate of chicken with boiled potatoes and cabbage. At the end of dinner Father Kari stood to speak.
“Due to Brandon’s wonderful work cleaning the church for tonight’s service he shall receive a small reward tonight after our evening prayers. Would you please come to my quarters at eight o’clock please Brandon? Now shall we all head for the service?”
My heart sank. I wanted to cry and scream and I couldn’t. I felt trapped, trapped where no-one could rescue me, save me from him.
I sat through evening service barely moving an inch and then proceeded to spend the whole of evening prayers trying to come up with an excuse. Slowly realizing that to try and get out of going to see Father Kari would only make it worse for myself. So I spent the rest of the time dreading the end of prayer time.
As eight o’clock arrived and the monastery bell tolled, I stood and headed to Father Kari’s quarters in a daze. I must have looked like a zombie.
I was starting to feel quite relaxed as I headed for the rectory. I entered the room through the large wooden doors to the smell of freshly cooked carrot soup and bread. I took my seat at the end of one of the wooden benches and readied myself to say grace.
As we were waiting for everyone to be seated, I looked up and Father Kari’s deep eyes met my own. A stab of pain hit my heart like lightning and I instantly felt like I was going to be violently sick. How could this man have such a horrible effect on me when weeks before, he was my mentor, my connection with The Lord God and like a father to me? I hated how things had changed, how they had become. Was it really my duty to God?
I tore my eyes away from his gaze and stared down at my soup, readying myself for prayer, hoping no-one else noticed my seemingly odd behaviour.
Everyone was seated now and thankfully no-one had noticed anything. Bowing our heads, Father Kari started in prayer.
“Almighty God, bless this meal and let us thank you for this food we have here before us. We also ask for you to watch over those less fortunate than ourselves and provide for them in their hour of need. Amen.”
“Amen” the whole room echoed.
I finished my meal in total silence with my head kept low, trying my hardest to avoid anyone’s eyes. Cleaning my plate, I scurried out of the rectory and headed off for my afternoon tasks.
Being as it was a Saturday today and there was an evening service for the surrounding villagers at six thirty, the church was to be cleaned and the statues and gold candlesticks were to be dusted and polished thoroughly beforehand. Our evening prayers were at seven thirty, and then we had from eight o’clock onwards free for our own studies and in preparation for the Sabbath day.
My duties on a Saturday afternoon were to clean the church ready for Father Kari’s inspection at six o’clock. This I was dreading. Not the work, but having to be alone with Father Kari again this evening.
I headed for the cupboard where the dusters, brooms, mops and polishes were kept. Sister Joan met me there and unlocked the cupboard, I retrieved the things I needed for my afternoons work and headed for the church which was quite a way away from the main part of the monastery. I crossed the main courtyard and looked up at Father Kari’s window, feeling a little nauseous as I did so. I regained my composure and carried on for the church, Sister Joan just a little way ahead of me.
When we reached the church, Sister Joan unlocked the main door from the monastery to the church, I entered and she closed the heavy door behind me, leaving me to my duties for the afternoon.
I stood for a moment, taking in the beauty of this little church and its beautiful carved wooden ceiling beams when I heard movement at the other end of the church.
“Who’s there?” I called, half pathetically.
Nothing.
“Who’s there?!” I called again, this time with as much authority as I could muster.
“It’s just me, Brandon, my dear boy”
Again, that sick feeling rose in my throat. Father Kari was sitting in one of the back pews in the corner by the confessionals.
“O-oh, father, I didn’t know you were there.” I said with slight fear in my voice.
“There’s no need to be scared, my boy.”He said with that usual reassuring tone, which had I not known better, would have made me feel instantly at ease. “Never mind me, just carry on as you were. Imagine I’m not here.”
Imagine he’s not there?! If only it were that easy. I could almost feel his staring eyes burning holes into me, my brain screaming so loud and my face going redder by the second.
I picked up the first thing I got my hands on which happened to be a broom and started to sweep the alter steps, trying to keep as far away from him as long as I could. Avoiding going all around the church and finally right past him would be impossible unless I wanted to give him a reason to punish me for not doing a proper job. I thought that if I could get everything else done then finish the sweeping at the far end I could just get out as fast as I could as soon as it was done.
I started to meticulously polish the alter candlesticks and all the things for the bread and wine. Once I had finished all of that and I could find no more excuses to prolong not sweeping the rest of the church, I picked up the broom with a sigh and headed down the aisle towards the back and, inevitably, Father Kari. Placing the head of the broom on the floor, no more than fifteen feet away from him, I started to sweep again.
It had to be nearing six o’clock by my reckoning before Father Kari said anything to me. I was pretty much finished and just wanted to get away from being alone with him when he turned to me.
“You’ve done an absolutely fantastic job this afternoon Brandon. You are definitely an example to the others.”
“Erm, thank you Father.” I said graciously, as the bell tolled six, and still really wanting to get out of the church and back to the main monastery. “I really should be getting back for dinner if you’ll excuse me Father?”
“Of course Brandon. Collect your things and we can walk back together.” Father Kari said.
I swear I could detect the tiniest bit of a smirk on his face and one-up-man-ship in his voice. I could do nothing but force out half a smile at him, my heart feeling something I’d never felt before…pure hatred and anger, burning inside me at this man that had raised me from a small boy.
Mentally scolding myself for such sinful thoughts, I rushed to collect my things and headed back to the monastery at Father Kari’s side.
Sitting down for dinner in silence, I avoided everyone’s eyes again and cleared my plate of chicken with boiled potatoes and cabbage. At the end of dinner Father Kari stood to speak.
“Due to Brandon’s wonderful work cleaning the church for tonight’s service he shall receive a small reward tonight after our evening prayers. Would you please come to my quarters at eight o’clock please Brandon? Now shall we all head for the service?”
My heart sank. I wanted to cry and scream and I couldn’t. I felt trapped, trapped where no-one could rescue me, save me from him.
I sat through evening service barely moving an inch and then proceeded to spend the whole of evening prayers trying to come up with an excuse. Slowly realizing that to try and get out of going to see Father Kari would only make it worse for myself. So I spent the rest of the time dreading the end of prayer time.
As eight o’clock arrived and the monastery bell tolled, I stood and headed to Father Kari’s quarters in a daze. I must have looked like a zombie.