Hindsight

[fit_2b_tied]

J and I poured over fashion magazines throughout high school. She often asked me which supermodel I liked the best. I could never decide. I ended up selecting Yasmeen Ghauri, and I explained this choice on the grounds that no one else looked remotely like me, so I could perhaps aspire to look like her one day. J was insistent: "No no! Not who you

Comments

[dirt_andpretty]

It seems unfair that you would have to declare your sexuality to be able to hold onto a friendship. I know it's not so simple as to say, you guys would be able to know what each other were going through but, still if you were completely straight, that shouldn't stop either one of you from feeling comfortable with your sexual preference. I think you handled the situation fine...but some friendships fade no matter how hard you work to keep them together.

[fit_2b_tied]

Thanks for your thoughts... What I was getting at is that it took me sooooooooo long to realize that she was trying to come out to me, but didn't feel comfortable, or know how to say it. At that age, I didn't have any thoughts about women... I barely did about men! I was just too depressed, and I wanted affection more than sex.

I slowly started noticing my interest in women almost 8 years ago, but have only been able to act on it in the past 2. As a result, there was was never a chance to have a conversation with her about how my sexuality. That is to say, while I knew her, I hadn't identified it in myself. Also, since I was pretty oblivious, I didn't realize what she was going through.

Absolutely - some friendships fade over time. I guess I just can't help wondering how things might have been different if our "timing" (so to speak) had been more in synch. I don't have a sense of guilt, or regret. Just, every so often, I realize that I miss her.