Brides Picspam Part 1
So, you remember how I said that Brides (aka Nyfes) was just begging to be mocked in the form of a picspam? Well... here it is! But Damian Lewis was so ridiculously gorgeous in this film that I could not stop myself from capping just about every face he made, so if your browser explodes, blame it entirely on Damian for looking so damn good (and having such mockable dialog).
The Stupendously Awesome Brides (Nyfes) Picspam Part 1
See? It's so awesome that even Damian is enthralled.
This is a Greek movie, by the way, so there's quite a bit where I had NO CLUE what was going on, because my copy did not have English subtitles. So I'll just fill in the dialog for you. ;)
It starts out with this girl...
...feeling up her earring of love. Did I know that in the beginning? No. I thought she had an ear ache or something. But I assure you she's probably telling some romantic story about her earrings. "These are the earrings of love. He who owns my heart will own one of these, and I will own the other, because wearing one earring nowadays is all the rage." *wistful sigh*
Then there is some commotion, a lot of running, and she finds her sister asleep in a boat:
Apparently she really hated Chicago.
Then we switch to Turkey, and I forget how to breathe as the camera finds this lovely specimen of a man:
IT'S DAMIAN!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! *flails* HE'S GOT SCRUFF! AND HE'S SINGING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE!
OMG OMG OMG! *dies*
Then he's attacked by a bunch of children and they beat him up and steal his camera. Okay, not really, but wouldn't it have been interesting if they did? So, Damian insists on being adorable with the children, which just makes me swoon even more. Also, he's speaking a foreign language (Turkish, I'm assuming), which really turns me on, for some reason.
Then it starts raining, so we get to see wet Damian:
Oh yeah, baby.
Dude in a fez hands Damian an envelope, and he's a little too perky as he says, "Perhaps it's a gift!" :D
It's not. And Damian squeezes the hell out of that rejection letter. Oh, this is where we learn that his name is Norman. Also, he speaks with a very nasally voice and his lisp is a little more noticeable than usual, which makes his name even funnier. Don't get me wrong, Norman is a fine name, but on Damian it just... gives him an air of dorkiness.
So, here's Nikki's family. I'm not sure if that's her father or not. Later in the movie they make it sound like the father is dead, but so is the mother, so I'm not sure if this is just her father's girlfriend's husband, or if that's actually her father. Anyway, apparently one of these girls has to go to Chicago to take the sister's place as the mail order bride.
It's very dramatic, too. This dude is all, "Blah blah I'm speaking Greek blah blah CHICAGO!"
Nikki gets stuck with the task. She's not too happy about it, but she's all about duty to the family and all that.
And then there's this girl:
She's running away because she wants to be on the boat to America, because this dude:
has been writing her love letters. I have no idea how this came about, not sure if he ordered her or what. But her father was looking for her, so I'm guessing she wasn't a mail order bride. So I really have no clue what was up with this part of the movie.
Then we meet this really creepy guy:
"Heh heh heh, I'm a dirty old man. You went to the doctor, yes? Heh heh heh."
"Heh heh heh, let me be an old pervy man and pinch your cheek. Heh heh heh."
Norman goes all emo and sells his camera and is inappropriately gorgeous while doing so.
THE LIP PUCKERING, OMG! He's getting his palm read, by the way, BUT WHO CARES WHEN THERE'S LIP PUCKERING TO STARE AT?!
GAH, COULD HE GET ANY SEXIER? OMG!
Charlie smile!!! Yes, that's right, I've dubbed his slightly dorky smile "The Charlie."
Wait, there are other people in this movie? Oh, right, right. Nikki steals some water for the 3rd class passengers (all of whom are mail order brides).
Norman is intrigued by this fiery, water-stealing woman, especially when she yells at the people who take the water back from her.
And he tries to seduce her with those beautiful pale blue eyes of his. All of this intense staring right after we learn that he's already married. Hmm...
Then a freaking marching band parades through the room and they still manage to have eyesex:
*wibbles*
Uh oooooooh, trouble's a-brewing.
Nikki and Hyro (Hero?) become friends.
The ditzy, rich American girls. Think Paris Hilton if she had been alive in 1922.
THE LIP LICK! OMG! THE LIP LICK! You all know how much I love that. He did it just for me.
So, the Captain dude is friends with the fortune telling lady, and she told him that Norman was a photographer, and I'm guessing she pushed him into asking Norman to take a portrait photograph of him, but Norman knows what they're up to. He's given up photography, damn it! Stop trying to tempt him!
Norman is staring at Nikki, because he somehow found her amongst the 700 women in the lower deck, and then Pervy Old Russian Dude comes over and is all, "Heh heh heh. Photographer, eh? I've done some of my own. Heh heh heh." I'll let you all imagine what kind of photos he showed Norman.
After that filthy man leaves, Norman goes back to being fascinated with Nikki.
And he's quite possibly on the verge of getting a stiffy. Or maybe he already has one.
And then Norman goes all emo again and litters. He throws the picture pieces onto the lower deck, by the way. Not the water, but on all the women down there. Specifically Nikki. I think he just wanted a dramatic way to introduce himself, while being able to sulk at the same time.
"What the hell, yo? Stop throwing trash on me! Idiot."
"Hey there. I'm going to be super adorable and come down these steps like a little kid."
"My name is Norman, by the way. I'm kind of a big deal."
"Oh! Be still my heart! You are such a very gorgeous man!"
"So I've been told. But I never get tired of hearing it. So say it again."
"Oh! Be still my heart! You are such a very gorgeous man!"
"Yep. I'm still lovin' it."
So, Nikki tells him to stop ripping up his pictures and instead give them to her, because in her village they usually only have one picture their whole life.
"Huh? What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
"Let me distract you with my open collar."
"Man, I'm gorgeous. It almost hurts to look this good."
"Heh heh heh. I'm still a dirty old man. Heh heh heh. I don't think I like this American. He's too gorgeous. I think I want to kiss him. Pah, who can blame me, really? Heh heh heh." Oh, and Norman suggested Nikki as a seamstress for the ditzy girls' costumes (she had told him she was going to America to be a seamstress in her future husband's store).
"I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more."
WATCH OUT FOR THE ICEBERG!!!!!
Alone at last.
They have a lovely little conversation while I drool over the utter beauty that is Damian. And she asks him to take a portrait of all the brides in their wedding gowns.
Seriously. I thought it was turning into a girl-on-girl porno. I'm showing you the tame part of that scene.
"Heh heh heh. Now this movie is finally getting interesting. Heh heh heh."
Norman asks for a camera, and agrees to take the Captain dude's portrait.
Now that's a lot of brides.
SO FREAKING ADORABLE!!! OMG! That's a total Charlie face, by the way. (yes, everything is connected to Charlie. That's just the way I roll.)
And then he sees Nikki (not in a wedding dress). And he's all, "Oh! Be still my heart! You brought me drinks!" Obviously that's the way to this man's heart, because he is gobsmacked in love right there.
Then Damian is all adorable as he does photographer-ish things. *dreamy sigh*
And Pervy Old Man is going, "Grrrrr, I don't want him taking pictures of the Russian girls. He is messing with my sinister plans. Heh heh heh."
And that, my friends, is where I will have to end tonight. I'm sure that I've left you all on the edge of your seats. ;) Hopefully I'll get part 2 up tomorrow. Not sure how many parts there will be. Probably 3. Unless I feel like making #2 really long. Anyhow, I shall return tomorrow with more gorgeous Damian and inappropriate music selections.
The Stupendously Awesome Brides (Nyfes) Picspam Part 1
See? It's so awesome that even Damian is enthralled.
This is a Greek movie, by the way, so there's quite a bit where I had NO CLUE what was going on, because my copy did not have English subtitles. So I'll just fill in the dialog for you. ;)
It starts out with this girl...
...feeling up her earring of love. Did I know that in the beginning? No. I thought she had an ear ache or something. But I assure you she's probably telling some romantic story about her earrings. "These are the earrings of love. He who owns my heart will own one of these, and I will own the other, because wearing one earring nowadays is all the rage." *wistful sigh*
Then there is some commotion, a lot of running, and she finds her sister asleep in a boat:
Apparently she really hated Chicago.
Then we switch to Turkey, and I forget how to breathe as the camera finds this lovely specimen of a man:
IT'S DAMIAN!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! *flails* HE'S GOT SCRUFF! AND HE'S SINGING IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE!
OMG OMG OMG! *dies*
Then he's attacked by a bunch of children and they beat him up and steal his camera. Okay, not really, but wouldn't it have been interesting if they did? So, Damian insists on being adorable with the children, which just makes me swoon even more. Also, he's speaking a foreign language (Turkish, I'm assuming), which really turns me on, for some reason.
Then it starts raining, so we get to see wet Damian:
Oh yeah, baby.
Dude in a fez hands Damian an envelope, and he's a little too perky as he says, "Perhaps it's a gift!" :D
It's not. And Damian squeezes the hell out of that rejection letter. Oh, this is where we learn that his name is Norman. Also, he speaks with a very nasally voice and his lisp is a little more noticeable than usual, which makes his name even funnier. Don't get me wrong, Norman is a fine name, but on Damian it just... gives him an air of dorkiness.
So, here's Nikki's family. I'm not sure if that's her father or not. Later in the movie they make it sound like the father is dead, but so is the mother, so I'm not sure if this is just her father's girlfriend's husband, or if that's actually her father. Anyway, apparently one of these girls has to go to Chicago to take the sister's place as the mail order bride.
It's very dramatic, too. This dude is all, "Blah blah I'm speaking Greek blah blah CHICAGO!"
Nikki gets stuck with the task. She's not too happy about it, but she's all about duty to the family and all that.
And then there's this girl:
She's running away because she wants to be on the boat to America, because this dude:
has been writing her love letters. I have no idea how this came about, not sure if he ordered her or what. But her father was looking for her, so I'm guessing she wasn't a mail order bride. So I really have no clue what was up with this part of the movie.
Then we meet this really creepy guy:
"Heh heh heh, I'm a dirty old man. You went to the doctor, yes? Heh heh heh."
"Heh heh heh, let me be an old pervy man and pinch your cheek. Heh heh heh."
Norman goes all emo and sells his camera and is inappropriately gorgeous while doing so.
THE LIP PUCKERING, OMG! He's getting his palm read, by the way, BUT WHO CARES WHEN THERE'S LIP PUCKERING TO STARE AT?!
GAH, COULD HE GET ANY SEXIER? OMG!
Charlie smile!!! Yes, that's right, I've dubbed his slightly dorky smile "The Charlie."
Wait, there are other people in this movie? Oh, right, right. Nikki steals some water for the 3rd class passengers (all of whom are mail order brides).
Norman is intrigued by this fiery, water-stealing woman, especially when she yells at the people who take the water back from her.
And he tries to seduce her with those beautiful pale blue eyes of his. All of this intense staring right after we learn that he's already married. Hmm...
Then a freaking marching band parades through the room and they still manage to have eyesex:
*wibbles*
Uh oooooooh, trouble's a-brewing.
Nikki and Hyro (Hero?) become friends.
The ditzy, rich American girls. Think Paris Hilton if she had been alive in 1922.
THE LIP LICK! OMG! THE LIP LICK! You all know how much I love that. He did it just for me.
So, the Captain dude is friends with the fortune telling lady, and she told him that Norman was a photographer, and I'm guessing she pushed him into asking Norman to take a portrait photograph of him, but Norman knows what they're up to. He's given up photography, damn it! Stop trying to tempt him!
Norman is staring at Nikki, because he somehow found her amongst the 700 women in the lower deck, and then Pervy Old Russian Dude comes over and is all, "Heh heh heh. Photographer, eh? I've done some of my own. Heh heh heh." I'll let you all imagine what kind of photos he showed Norman.
After that filthy man leaves, Norman goes back to being fascinated with Nikki.
And he's quite possibly on the verge of getting a stiffy. Or maybe he already has one.
And then Norman goes all emo again and litters. He throws the picture pieces onto the lower deck, by the way. Not the water, but on all the women down there. Specifically Nikki. I think he just wanted a dramatic way to introduce himself, while being able to sulk at the same time.
"What the hell, yo? Stop throwing trash on me! Idiot."
"Hey there. I'm going to be super adorable and come down these steps like a little kid."
"My name is Norman, by the way. I'm kind of a big deal."
"Oh! Be still my heart! You are such a very gorgeous man!"
"So I've been told. But I never get tired of hearing it. So say it again."
"Oh! Be still my heart! You are such a very gorgeous man!"
"Yep. I'm still lovin' it."
So, Nikki tells him to stop ripping up his pictures and instead give them to her, because in her village they usually only have one picture their whole life.
"Huh? What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
"Let me distract you with my open collar."
"Man, I'm gorgeous. It almost hurts to look this good."
"Heh heh heh. I'm still a dirty old man. Heh heh heh. I don't think I like this American. He's too gorgeous. I think I want to kiss him. Pah, who can blame me, really? Heh heh heh." Oh, and Norman suggested Nikki as a seamstress for the ditzy girls' costumes (she had told him she was going to America to be a seamstress in her future husband's store).
"I could have danced all night, I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more."
WATCH OUT FOR THE ICEBERG!!!!!
Alone at last.
They have a lovely little conversation while I drool over the utter beauty that is Damian. And she asks him to take a portrait of all the brides in their wedding gowns.
Seriously. I thought it was turning into a girl-on-girl porno. I'm showing you the tame part of that scene.
"Heh heh heh. Now this movie is finally getting interesting. Heh heh heh."
Norman asks for a camera, and agrees to take the Captain dude's portrait.
Now that's a lot of brides.
SO FREAKING ADORABLE!!! OMG! That's a total Charlie face, by the way. (yes, everything is connected to Charlie. That's just the way I roll.)
And then he sees Nikki (not in a wedding dress). And he's all, "Oh! Be still my heart! You brought me drinks!" Obviously that's the way to this man's heart, because he is gobsmacked in love right there.
Then Damian is all adorable as he does photographer-ish things. *dreamy sigh*
And Pervy Old Man is going, "Grrrrr, I don't want him taking pictures of the Russian girls. He is messing with my sinister plans. Heh heh heh."
And that, my friends, is where I will have to end tonight. I'm sure that I've left you all on the edge of your seats. ;) Hopefully I'll get part 2 up tomorrow. Not sure how many parts there will be. Probably 3. Unless I feel like making #2 really long. Anyhow, I shall return tomorrow with more gorgeous Damian and inappropriate music selections.