(no subject)
Title: No Expectations - Chapter Fifteen
Author: firiel77
Word Count: 4882
Warnings: WIP, Mpreg
Rating: M
Pairings: Adam/Tommy
Summary: Tommy’s just feeling a bit off. Set about five years in the future. Adam is a Rock God. Tommy plays guitar for him.
Beta: thrace_adams Whee, thanks so much for stepping in with the beta and the encouragement.
CreditThank you to chaosmanor for graciously agreeing to let me rework her wonderful story Thursday's Child in a different fandom; this fic is what inspired me to try mpreg which is saying something. I encourage everyone to read it. It can be found right here.
Disclaimer: This is fiction people.
Feedback: Sure. Let me know what’s working for you.
Authors Notes: I never thought I’d do it but this is a big old MPreg. Read if you dare. It’s also a WIP and I’m not sure where it will go yet although it will probably be fairly long and I’ve got quite a few chapters roughed out. I’ve just been seeing people pining for domestic fics and (gulp) babies so thought I’d give it a shot.
Thank you jashelle1 for the awesome banner and poster you did for my story. You’re the best.
Previous Chapters Here
Rose looked at Tommy over the top of her glasses and smiled at him. She took them off and leant back in her chair. “Your HCG level’s are down to trace amounts which is excellent. It means the placenta is pretty much inactive and you probably won’t need anymore methotrexate.”
Tommy sighed, relieved there wouldn’t be any more of the unpleasant side effects of that drug to struggle through.
“Have you noticed any changes in your body?” Rose asked him. “Anything to indicate that your hormone levels are shifting?”
He shrugged, glancing at Adam who was jiggling a fretful Austin on his shoulder.
“Not really. I’d kind of hoped that things would be getting back to normal now, after four weeks, but I’ve still got these,” he said, looking down at his chest as he opened his hoodie, revealing small bumps under his T-shirt. Luckily, being winter, he could disguise them with layers of clothes; a hoodie over a T-shirt over an exercise bra pretty much flattened them out.
He’d had Sutan come over and cut his hair again, short this time in the hope of looking more male, but his face was still slightly full and soft from the pregnancy, along with his belly.
“What about facial hair? Body hair? Genitals?”
Tommy shook his head each time. “Not really, nothing much has changed.”
Rose looked again at the papers on her desk, running through his most recent lab results.
“You’re not making much testosterone yet. I’d hoped your body would pick up smoothly on its own but it’s not happening. You seem to be hovering at gender neutral.”
She looked up at Tommy who was chewing nervously on his lip. It was what he’d been afraid of. She smiled reassuringly and continued.
“Fortunately this is something we can fix. I’ll give you a testosterone shot here in the office and a prescription for oral testosterone. That should nudge you body in the right direction.”
Tommy said, “How long will it take?”
Rose shrugged, “Weeks rather than months, I should say. Everybody reacts differently. I’ll give you the testosterone prescription today and have my assistant give you a T-shot before you leave but I want you to wait three days before starting on the pills, just to gauge the side effects .”
She stood up and called for her assistant, saying over her shoulder, “Side effects include oily skin and acne, mood swings, bloating and high blood pressure, so I’m going to want to see you again soon.”
When the nurse came in with the injection Rose smiled and told Tommy “roll up your sleeve, alright, Tommy?” She was quick and efficient, and Tommy barely felt the it when it went in.
*****************************
A few days later Tommy woke from his afternoon nap feeling a sensation he hadn’t in a long time. He’d put Austin down after his lunch time feeding and crashed himself for an hour or two. Adam was around but had declined a nap, wanting to get some emails answered and make a few business calls.
He and Adam were gradually working the sleeping thing out. Tommy, who was always kind of a night owl, was doing most of the late night and early morning feedings so that Adam could get a decent amount of rest. During the day, with few work commitments, Tommy would sleep whenever Austin’s schedule gave him the chance and Adam took care of the household duties. It was better although they still felt like the cast of Zombieland at times.
Tommy woke up to the lingering remnants of an erotic dream, now quickly fading, but which involved Adam and had left him half hard. He had to slip his hand down into his sweat pants to make sure he wasn’t imagining things and was pleasantly surprised by what he found. He shrugged off a yawn and pulled himself out of bed.
Adam was sitting at the dining room table reading something on his laptop when Tommy found him. He looked up and smiled when he felt Tommy wrap his arms around him and rest his chin on one of his shoulders. Tommy kissed him on the ear and then demanded, “Quick, the T-shot is working, take me to a sports bar.”
Adam laughed and when he swivelled his chair away from the table he found himself with a lap full of Tommy, who kissed him thoroughly and then placed Adam’s hand on the bulge in his pants.
“It’s not funny,” Tommy growled. Something about the way Tommy said it must have made Adam’s body agree because he groaned when Tommy wiggled around so that they rubbed together. Adam looked up and swallowed hard and then pulled Tommy tightly against him.
“I’m not laughing anymore,” Adam agreed, and he ran his hand down over Tommy’s belly and slipped it beneath the waistband of his pants and palmed over Tommy’s semi-erect cock. Tommy hissed as Adam pulled him in even closer and ground their bodies together.
Tommy kissed him and the sounds of their teeth clicking together, combined with the press of their lips and the saliva slick tongue thrusting into his mouth made Adam groan. They’d never really kissed a lot before Austin was conceived, and during the pregnancy they’d been gentle and slow with each other for the most part; but this was much more demanding, sexually intoxicating, urgently out of control. Adam gripped Tommy’s scalp and forced their mouths together harder.
Taking a deep breath before another onslaught, Tommy tried desperately to work out if enough time had passed since his surgery to let Adam fuck him. He cursed when he remembered Dr. Frost had upped the timeframe to three months. He was well short of the deadline.
By the time Adam’s hands began to pull at his shirt Tommy had decided he didn’t care; but then they heard a cry from Austin. They heard him twice, once through the open bedroom door, the second time through the baby monitor sitting on the counter.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Tommy said, pulling away from Adam reluctantly. They both listened for a second, hoping for a miracle but the crying continued. Adam chuckled when Tommy sighed and then got up off Adam’s lap and headed to the crib. He picked Austin up and changed his diaper quickly while Adam watched, leaning against the door frame.
Adam retrieved a bottle of formula from the fridge and when he handed it to Tommy his eyes still held some of their fire. Tommy’s groin responded to Adam’s gaze as he looked back, Austin crying against his shoulder.
“Tonight, we’ll have time tonight,” Adam promised.
At the dinner table, Adam ate one-handed while Austin fussed on his other shoulder. They were eating chilli from the freezer because Adam hadn’t managed to go food shopping, and there was nothing else left. Tommy was nodding over his dinner, nearly asleep, and Adam seemed a bit morose.
Tommy felt for him. Poor guy, after a brief and tantalizing promise of sex, it looked like Adam would be jerking off in the shower alone again that night. Tommy had heard him a few times and half heartedly thought of joining in to give him a hand but hadn`t yet; he was always so fucking tired.
Adam was deeply asleep when Tommy finally got Austin to bed after his nine o’clock feed. He looked in the bedroom on his way from the nursery and saw Adam snoring quietly in their bed. He closed the bedroom door so that he wouldn’t disturb Adam and sat down to watch a movie. He usually stayed up until Austin woke once more around midnight and fed him again before going to bed himself.
*********************
Sometime in the night Tommy woke suddenly, moaning softly. Austin hadn’t woken him for a change, his own body had. He was hard, not early-morning-piss-hard, this was full-on-raging-erection-hard. He clutched himself through his boxers and then slid a hand inside them to hold himself properly.
It felt so fucking good just touching himself. He was ready to come any minute, that was obvious, but there was no way he was doing it alone, not after all this time. He rolled over, groaning again as he pushed his shorts down and then pressed his cock firmly against Adam’s thigh. “Wake up,” he said, shaking Adam’s shoulder gently.
Adam mumbled for a moment, said, “Is it my turn?” sleepily, then more clearly, “Fuck, is that what I think it is?”
Tommy bit Adam’s shoulder hard and groaned again, and Adam pushed himself up onto his elbow and looked at Tommy. “What do you want to do?”
Tommy licked the mark on Adam’s shoulder and ground his hips forward again and then hissed at the friction. “I don’t fucking care. I just want do to something right the fuck now. I’m going to come any second.”
For a man who had been asleep seconds before, Adam moved fast. He had Tommy on his back, the covers thrown off and Tommy’s cock in his mouth in seconds.
Tommy arched his back and grabbed Adam’s hair at the first touch of his mouth. The first hard suck pushed Tommy screaming over the edge, and he threw his head back and pumped his cock into Adam’s mouth. He came so hard he thought he might black out.
“Jesus,” he sighed breathlessly a couple minutes later. “I can’t believe how good that felt.”
“Yeah?” Adam laughed. “Worth the wait?” he asked when he’d slid back up to lie beside Tommy.
“Hell, yeah,” Tommy told him, resting his head on Adam’s chest while he caught his breath.
It came as such a relief to have his body returning to normal. In the back of his mind Tommy’d been afraid it never would, that he’d be stuck in some sort of asexual limbo, and the idea had scared the shit out of him.
When he’d recovered a little Tommy became aware of Adam’s erection nudging his side and slid down, pressing kisses to Adam’s belly, until he was even with his groin.
“I think it’s your turn, Babyboy,” he rasped as he rubbed his cheek along Adam’s thigh.
Adam looked down at him. “It’s okay, if you’re too tired I can go take care of it myself,” he offered half heartedly.
Tommy shook his head. Like hell Adam would take care of it himself. “If we’re going to wait until I’m not tired anymore it could be fucking years,” he laughed. “Something tells me this isn’t going to take long.”
Tommy blew gently across Adam’s pubic hair; it made Adam shudder and his cock twitch in anticipation. Tommy looked up at him and winked and then without further preamble he grasped Adam’s cock it in one hand and took in as far as he could.
Adam put a hand gently on the back of Tommy’s head but didn’t push. Tommy’d never get it all in, it was too big, but like this, with his hand around the base he could take in a satisfying amount. He could still feel the head of Adam`s cock nudging the back of his throat. Adam let out a ragged groan and lay back to let Tommy do his work.
Tommy had been right. It didn’t take long at all; within just a few short minutes he felt Adam stiffen and call out before he came so far down Tommy’s throat that he could barely taste it. Tommy wiped his mouth and then lay with his head on Adam’s belly. He softly licked at Adam, cleaning him off, lapping at his over-sensitive cock until he came down and gently pulled Tommy away.
“Thanks,” Adam told him huskily.
“Worth the wait?” Tommy chuckled, echoing Adam’s earlier words.
“Yeah,” Adam laughed. He pulled Tommy back up so they were lying face to face.
“Come here,” he whispered, pulling Tommy against his chest and kissing him softly on the forehead. Tommy found Adam’s hand and wove their fingers together before resting their hands on Adam’s chest. They lay there, just touching, enjoying a few moments of contact, while they both dozed for a few minutes.
The bedroom door was ajar, and Tommy could hear Austin beginning to whimper in his bassinette. They’d probably woken him up with the noise they’d made. Tommy had been too distracted to hear himself but he knew Adam had made a hell of a lot of noise when he was coming. They would have to sleep with the bedroom door closed from now on.
Tommy felt the bed dip as Adam climbed out to take care of the next diaper change and feeding and he shut his eyes, pulled the covers up and went back to sleep feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time.
***********************************
A couple weeks later they were having a lazy Sunday morning. Austin had been sleeping for hours, something very unusual for the insomniac from hell as they now liked to refer to him. A bone-weary Adam was taking advantage of the situation and sleeping in.
Neil was away for the weekend so they had the apartment to themselves and Tommy found himself with some rare Tommy time. There was something he needed to do and he found himself pacing back and forth with the phone in his hand, finally punching a number in from memory.
Immerman’s voice sounded groggy when he answered, “Hello.”
“Hey man, it’s Tommy.”
There was a pause and then Immerman’s voice shot up. “Tommy! How are you? Where are you? Are you back in LA? Hang on!” There was a pause in the deluge of questions and Tommy heard him shout, “Allie, wake up. Tommy’s on the phone!”
Tommy heard muffled voices and then some thumping as Immerman said, “Just putting you onto speaker phone, man.”
“Tommy! How are you?” Allison squealed, and there was more banging and Immerman’s cry of “Ouch!” reverberated through the phone.
“I’m good,” Tommy said, laughing at the strange noises. “I’m fine. I’m back in LA. Everything is good now.”
“That’s awesome.”
“We’ve missed you, Tommy,” Allison told him. “I’ve been so worried about you since David told me what was going on. I’m pissed off at you, you know, for not telling me.”
“I’m sorry, Allie. It was just really fucked up. It kind of caught up to me all at once.” At least that part was the truth, and the fact that he hated any pain he had caused his friends.
“It’s okay, Tommy. I’m just glad you’re alright.”
“Where are you staying? Back at your place?” Immerman asked.
“No, I’m at Adam’s.”
There was a pause and Immerman’s voice asked, “Is that living AT Adam’s or living WITH Adam?”
“Living with,” Tommy replied, listening intently for their reaction.
“YES!” Allison shouted and Immerman added, “About fucking time! It’s taken you two long enough to figure that one out.”
“Christ, don`t tell me you two knew too?” Tommy muttered.
“Of course we knew, you fucker! It`s not like you two were very discreet. What are you up to today? Are you busy? Can we come and see you?” David asked.
Tommy paused and thought about it a minute. He and Adam had zero plans for the day. “Yeah, that would be great, but before you do, there’s something I need to tell you. Things are different for me now.”
“Sure, man. We know you have to make amends,” Immerman informed him confidently.
Tommy frowned. “What the hell are you talking about, Immerman?” he laughed.
“The twelve step program, man. Making amends for harm caused and all that shit. My dad went all through that,” Immerman explained.
Tommy couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s a bigger change than that, bracing himself for the next step. Tommy took a deep breath and started.
“I know it’s going to seem really weird but I, I mean we, Adam and I, um, we have a baby. We have a son now.” Tommy waited.
There was silence, then Allison shrieked and Tommy had to hold the phone away from his ear.
“Ahhhhhh! OMG, Tommy, no waaaaaaaay!”
Immerman’s voice was excited too. “Congratulations, Tommy! Is he with you there? How old is he? ”
“His name is Austin, and he’s six weeks old now. And yes,” Tommy said with a smile, “he lives with us.”
“We’re fucking coming over right now, man. Right now,” Immerman told him and all Tommy could hear from Allison were some unintelligible happy sounds some girls tended to make at the thought of babies. Tommy laughed; poor Immerman, he was going to be in for it once Allison saw Austin and her biological clock kicked in. That dude was in trouble.
Tommy answered the intercom half an hour later and buzzed Immerman and Allison up to the apartment. Not long after he found himself with a squirming armful of Allison and he winced a little when she threw herself at him. Immerman was hanging back and grinning madly, holding an enormous purple teddy bear in his arms, and Tommy held out an arm for him as Allie clung to him, squeezing him in a tight hug.
A couple weeks earlier and Tommy would have been on the floor curled up in agony but his body had recovered enough now that he could just let Allison hang off him with nothing more than a twinge in his belly.
Allison kissed his cheek, and Tommy was relieved the testosterone pills had started his facial hair growing again. As Immerman stepped back he pulled Allison back with him and then pushed the teddy bear into Tommy’s arms.
“This is for you, but you can let Austin and Adam play with it if you want to.”
Tommy took the bear and blinked back sudden tears. “Shit, I’ve missed you guys. Come in, but you’ve got to be quiet!” he whispered loudly. “Adam is asleep.”
“It’s after noon, man,” Immerman complained, dropping the volume on his voice a little, but still clearly shocked that Adam was sleeping so late.
“What can I say?” Tommy replied with a shrug. “He’s a new dad. We sleep whenever we can.” He moved the pile of towels and baby sleepers onto the coffee table and flopped onto the couch, teddy bear still in his arms.
“Have a seat. Sorry it’s a bit of a disaster around here. Austin seems to take up all of our time.”
Allison and Immerman sat down side by side at the other end of the couch and Tommy couldn’t help but think what a cute pair the two of them made. He was glad they were still obviously going strong as a couple. Immerman took Allie’s hand and the two of them regarded him a minute before he could keep the questions at bay anymore.
“So how the fuck did you wind up with a kid?” he asked, finally getting to the point.
“The usual way,” Tommy said with a shrug. They’d had lots of time to think up a plausible story in the months he and Adam had spent together. “I was fucking around on Carmen. Someone got pregnant.”
Immerman looked puzzled. “And the mom didn’t want the baby? Is that why you’re raising her?”
“Kind of,” Tommy hedgec. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, but Austin is ours now.”
Allison nodded and then glanced up at Immerman. Obviously they still had more questions. “So? How come you finally decided to get together with Adam? It’s been years Tommy, why now?”
“Adam was there when everything fell to pieces last year. When I needed somewhere to go to, he let me stay with him until I was ready to come back to LA. We kind of realized some things then. I was pretty messed up for a while and he was there for me.”
Immerman nodded. “Yeah, you were really struggling last time I saw you. I was pissed off at you for a while that you didn’t tell any of us that you were in trouble, but I guess that was part of the problem, not being able to tell anyone. We’re just glad you’re back, man. You look good. Kind of put on some weight though.”
Allison elbowed Immerman. “Don`t be an asshole,” she told him.
“It’s okay, Allie” Tommy laughed. “I put on a ton of weight sitting around doing nothing. I guess I’ll lose it when I start working again. What’ve you two been up to? Have you been touring? I’m so out of touch with everyone.”
“Allie’s been working on her new album,” Immerman told him proudly, squeezing her hand when he spoke. “It’s getting released next month and then we’ll be touring again this summer.”
Immerman grinned at Tommy. “What about Adam? It’s going to be hard to top that last album. Man, that thing’s been on the fucking charts all year. Is he working on anything new? He’s kind of dropped out of sight lately too and everyone’s been wondering what he’s got planned.”
Tommy laughed. “He’s getting started but to be honest, we’ve got our hands full with Austin right now. He’s a full time job.”
As if on cue the baby monitor on the table squawked, and Tommy said, “Shit, I better get him before he wakes up Adam.” He got up and headed to the nursery with Allison and Immerman right behind.
Austin was lying on his back, face screwed up as he cried, tears trickling down his face. “Don’t cry, Auss,” Tommy cooed, picking him up and holding him against his shoulder. “Daddy’s got you now,” he murmured.
Austin sobbed against Tommy’s shoulder and he put him down on the change table and reached for one of the diapers stacked on the shelf below. He looked up to find Allison and Immerman staring at him open-mouthed from the doorway. He turned back to Austin who was still sobbing as he unzipped his sleeper with practiced efficiency and realized how odd it all must look to them.
He’d had the whole pregnancy to get used to the idea, and six weeks for the pattern to become routine, so routine he could do it while mostly asleep now. Tommy changed Austin quickly, replaced his damp sleeper with a clean one and picked him up again, tossing the wet diaper in the bucket beside the change table and the sleeper in the laundry hamper.
Austin stopped crying when he was picked up, making Tommy laugh at him. He held him out to Immerman and said, “Hold him for a second while I wash my hands and I’ll get a bottle.”
When he came back from the bathroom Immerman was still holding Austin, albeit nervously and Allie was leaning in and making faces at him while holding gently onto one of his tiny hands. Austin looked from one of them to the other in his nearsighted baby way.
Immerman handed him gently back to Tommy and Allison whispered, “He’s beautiful, Tommy, just beautiful. You must love him so much.”
Tommy kissed the top of Austin’s. “We do.”
Austin was unmistakably his child, his cheekbones and mouth, and with just the faintest hint of Adam’s jaw line and his eyes, if someone knew to look for them. It was going to be interesting seeing how he turned out. His hair was brown rather than red but already there was a hint of freckles. Tommy sat on the couch and fed his son while the other two watched.
Adam appeared half an hour later; Immerman was lying on his back on the rug with Austin on his chest, gurgling happily while Allison crouched beside them and took pictures with her phone.
He waved blearily at Immerman and smiled fondly when Allison got up and gave him a hug before he sat down on the couch, resting his head sleepily on Tommy’s shoulder. “We’ve been invaded,” he observed. “Was it a spontaneous event, or did you ask them over?”
Tommy kissed Adam’s forehead. “I phoned Immerman to say hi and they wanted to come and see Austin right away. The plan is for someone to go out for beer and pizzas for dinner. They’ve settled in for the rest of the day.”
“They’ve had plenty of sleep. Make them get the pizza and beer,” Adam replied, closing his eyes and settling against Tommy’s shoulder.
*******************************
Adam’s birthday party was unlike any other year; far more low key, limited to only family and close friends. Leila booked one of Adam’s favourite restaurants so that they had the whole place to themselves. Eber had come up and was back in the nursery. Neil was still living on their couch. He’d been talking about looking for his own place but Adam and Tommy weren’t pushing it; despite his sometimes contrary nature they liked having him around.
Monte was there with his family, as were Danielle, the Cherry’s, and Alisan Porter. Tommy’s family all came, delighting in seeing how much Austin had changed in the month since they’d seen him at Christmas. Tommy’d had every intention of getting back to Burbank to visit Lisa and the others; it just had never happened. It was hard enough to get out to the grocery store.
Sutan couldn’t make it but Isaac and Sophie were there, Alison and Immerman, Brooke and Terrance, Brad, some people from Adam`s management team, and a few other old friends and family Leila had contacted. Tommy worried that someone who knew the whole story would let something slip to one of the others but nothing of the sort happened.
It was a relaxed evening, with Austin being passed from one delighted group to another and for once cooperating by not being too fussy. Leila thought it was maybe because he took after Adam in that regard; always a party boy. Tommy couldn`t stop smiling when he saw how happy Adam was to have his friends together and was glad he and Leila had made what effort they had.
It wasn`t a late night. Once dinner was finished and the cake served Adam and Tommy looked at each other and laughed when they saw each other yawning. It was time to go home. The two of them made their way around the tables saying their goodbyes and thank you to the guests before collecting Austin from Lisa Pittman and leaving. Tommy drove; he was the designated driver for the evening.
When they got home Tommy sat wearily on the edge of the bed and kicked off his shoes and socks. He took off his pants and pulled his shirt over his head before crawling under the covers. Adam joined him, sliding in behind Tommy and running his hand down over his hip in a familiar hopeful gesture.
Tommy turned over so he was facing Adam and kissed him softly. Adam returned the kiss immediately and they lay there kissing and stroking their hands over each other’s bodies. Adam’s hand dipped lower and Tommy pulled away a little; he was nowhere close to being hard. Except for the one day after his first testosterone shot Tommy’s body had remained stubbornly uncooperative. It was beginning to worry him.
“It’s because you’re so tired,” Adam reassured him immediately. “I am too. It’ll be back soon.”
“I hope so,” Tommy sighed. He leaned in and rested his head on Adam’s outstretched arm. “Do you want me to do something for you?” he asked, trying to suppress a yawn.
“No, I’m fine. Let’s just get some sleep. That’s about as exciting as it gets right now.”
“Yeah, sounds good,” Tommy agreed reluctantly. He felt like he was a hundred years old some nights. He kissed Adam gently once more. “Happy Birthday, Babyboy.”
Adam chuckled. “Thank's, Glitterbaby.”
They were both sound asleep in minutes. As an extra birthday present Eber and Neil took the two night feedings and Adam and Tommy didn’t have to get up again until 8:00. It was amazing. Adam had been right. It didn’t take much for excitement anymore.
Chapter Sixteen
Author: firiel77
Word Count: 4882
Warnings: WIP, Mpreg
Rating: M
Pairings: Adam/Tommy
Summary: Tommy’s just feeling a bit off. Set about five years in the future. Adam is a Rock God. Tommy plays guitar for him.
Beta: thrace_adams Whee, thanks so much for stepping in with the beta and the encouragement.
CreditThank you to chaosmanor for graciously agreeing to let me rework her wonderful story Thursday's Child in a different fandom; this fic is what inspired me to try mpreg which is saying something. I encourage everyone to read it. It can be found right here.
Disclaimer: This is fiction people.
Feedback: Sure. Let me know what’s working for you.
Authors Notes: I never thought I’d do it but this is a big old MPreg. Read if you dare. It’s also a WIP and I’m not sure where it will go yet although it will probably be fairly long and I’ve got quite a few chapters roughed out. I’ve just been seeing people pining for domestic fics and (gulp) babies so thought I’d give it a shot.
Thank you jashelle1 for the awesome banner and poster you did for my story. You’re the best.
Previous Chapters Here
Rose looked at Tommy over the top of her glasses and smiled at him. She took them off and leant back in her chair. “Your HCG level’s are down to trace amounts which is excellent. It means the placenta is pretty much inactive and you probably won’t need anymore methotrexate.”
Tommy sighed, relieved there wouldn’t be any more of the unpleasant side effects of that drug to struggle through.
“Have you noticed any changes in your body?” Rose asked him. “Anything to indicate that your hormone levels are shifting?”
He shrugged, glancing at Adam who was jiggling a fretful Austin on his shoulder.
“Not really. I’d kind of hoped that things would be getting back to normal now, after four weeks, but I’ve still got these,” he said, looking down at his chest as he opened his hoodie, revealing small bumps under his T-shirt. Luckily, being winter, he could disguise them with layers of clothes; a hoodie over a T-shirt over an exercise bra pretty much flattened them out.
He’d had Sutan come over and cut his hair again, short this time in the hope of looking more male, but his face was still slightly full and soft from the pregnancy, along with his belly.
“What about facial hair? Body hair? Genitals?”
Tommy shook his head each time. “Not really, nothing much has changed.”
Rose looked again at the papers on her desk, running through his most recent lab results.
“You’re not making much testosterone yet. I’d hoped your body would pick up smoothly on its own but it’s not happening. You seem to be hovering at gender neutral.”
She looked up at Tommy who was chewing nervously on his lip. It was what he’d been afraid of. She smiled reassuringly and continued.
“Fortunately this is something we can fix. I’ll give you a testosterone shot here in the office and a prescription for oral testosterone. That should nudge you body in the right direction.”
Tommy said, “How long will it take?”
Rose shrugged, “Weeks rather than months, I should say. Everybody reacts differently. I’ll give you the testosterone prescription today and have my assistant give you a T-shot before you leave but I want you to wait three days before starting on the pills, just to gauge the side effects .”
She stood up and called for her assistant, saying over her shoulder, “Side effects include oily skin and acne, mood swings, bloating and high blood pressure, so I’m going to want to see you again soon.”
When the nurse came in with the injection Rose smiled and told Tommy “roll up your sleeve, alright, Tommy?” She was quick and efficient, and Tommy barely felt the it when it went in.
*****************************
A few days later Tommy woke from his afternoon nap feeling a sensation he hadn’t in a long time. He’d put Austin down after his lunch time feeding and crashed himself for an hour or two. Adam was around but had declined a nap, wanting to get some emails answered and make a few business calls.
He and Adam were gradually working the sleeping thing out. Tommy, who was always kind of a night owl, was doing most of the late night and early morning feedings so that Adam could get a decent amount of rest. During the day, with few work commitments, Tommy would sleep whenever Austin’s schedule gave him the chance and Adam took care of the household duties. It was better although they still felt like the cast of Zombieland at times.
Tommy woke up to the lingering remnants of an erotic dream, now quickly fading, but which involved Adam and had left him half hard. He had to slip his hand down into his sweat pants to make sure he wasn’t imagining things and was pleasantly surprised by what he found. He shrugged off a yawn and pulled himself out of bed.
Adam was sitting at the dining room table reading something on his laptop when Tommy found him. He looked up and smiled when he felt Tommy wrap his arms around him and rest his chin on one of his shoulders. Tommy kissed him on the ear and then demanded, “Quick, the T-shot is working, take me to a sports bar.”
Adam laughed and when he swivelled his chair away from the table he found himself with a lap full of Tommy, who kissed him thoroughly and then placed Adam’s hand on the bulge in his pants.
“It’s not funny,” Tommy growled. Something about the way Tommy said it must have made Adam’s body agree because he groaned when Tommy wiggled around so that they rubbed together. Adam looked up and swallowed hard and then pulled Tommy tightly against him.
“I’m not laughing anymore,” Adam agreed, and he ran his hand down over Tommy’s belly and slipped it beneath the waistband of his pants and palmed over Tommy’s semi-erect cock. Tommy hissed as Adam pulled him in even closer and ground their bodies together.
Tommy kissed him and the sounds of their teeth clicking together, combined with the press of their lips and the saliva slick tongue thrusting into his mouth made Adam groan. They’d never really kissed a lot before Austin was conceived, and during the pregnancy they’d been gentle and slow with each other for the most part; but this was much more demanding, sexually intoxicating, urgently out of control. Adam gripped Tommy’s scalp and forced their mouths together harder.
Taking a deep breath before another onslaught, Tommy tried desperately to work out if enough time had passed since his surgery to let Adam fuck him. He cursed when he remembered Dr. Frost had upped the timeframe to three months. He was well short of the deadline.
By the time Adam’s hands began to pull at his shirt Tommy had decided he didn’t care; but then they heard a cry from Austin. They heard him twice, once through the open bedroom door, the second time through the baby monitor sitting on the counter.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Tommy said, pulling away from Adam reluctantly. They both listened for a second, hoping for a miracle but the crying continued. Adam chuckled when Tommy sighed and then got up off Adam’s lap and headed to the crib. He picked Austin up and changed his diaper quickly while Adam watched, leaning against the door frame.
Adam retrieved a bottle of formula from the fridge and when he handed it to Tommy his eyes still held some of their fire. Tommy’s groin responded to Adam’s gaze as he looked back, Austin crying against his shoulder.
“Tonight, we’ll have time tonight,” Adam promised.
At the dinner table, Adam ate one-handed while Austin fussed on his other shoulder. They were eating chilli from the freezer because Adam hadn’t managed to go food shopping, and there was nothing else left. Tommy was nodding over his dinner, nearly asleep, and Adam seemed a bit morose.
Tommy felt for him. Poor guy, after a brief and tantalizing promise of sex, it looked like Adam would be jerking off in the shower alone again that night. Tommy had heard him a few times and half heartedly thought of joining in to give him a hand but hadn`t yet; he was always so fucking tired.
Adam was deeply asleep when Tommy finally got Austin to bed after his nine o’clock feed. He looked in the bedroom on his way from the nursery and saw Adam snoring quietly in their bed. He closed the bedroom door so that he wouldn’t disturb Adam and sat down to watch a movie. He usually stayed up until Austin woke once more around midnight and fed him again before going to bed himself.
*********************
Sometime in the night Tommy woke suddenly, moaning softly. Austin hadn’t woken him for a change, his own body had. He was hard, not early-morning-piss-hard, this was full-on-raging-erection-hard. He clutched himself through his boxers and then slid a hand inside them to hold himself properly.
It felt so fucking good just touching himself. He was ready to come any minute, that was obvious, but there was no way he was doing it alone, not after all this time. He rolled over, groaning again as he pushed his shorts down and then pressed his cock firmly against Adam’s thigh. “Wake up,” he said, shaking Adam’s shoulder gently.
Adam mumbled for a moment, said, “Is it my turn?” sleepily, then more clearly, “Fuck, is that what I think it is?”
Tommy bit Adam’s shoulder hard and groaned again, and Adam pushed himself up onto his elbow and looked at Tommy. “What do you want to do?”
Tommy licked the mark on Adam’s shoulder and ground his hips forward again and then hissed at the friction. “I don’t fucking care. I just want do to something right the fuck now. I’m going to come any second.”
For a man who had been asleep seconds before, Adam moved fast. He had Tommy on his back, the covers thrown off and Tommy’s cock in his mouth in seconds.
Tommy arched his back and grabbed Adam’s hair at the first touch of his mouth. The first hard suck pushed Tommy screaming over the edge, and he threw his head back and pumped his cock into Adam’s mouth. He came so hard he thought he might black out.
“Jesus,” he sighed breathlessly a couple minutes later. “I can’t believe how good that felt.”
“Yeah?” Adam laughed. “Worth the wait?” he asked when he’d slid back up to lie beside Tommy.
“Hell, yeah,” Tommy told him, resting his head on Adam’s chest while he caught his breath.
It came as such a relief to have his body returning to normal. In the back of his mind Tommy’d been afraid it never would, that he’d be stuck in some sort of asexual limbo, and the idea had scared the shit out of him.
When he’d recovered a little Tommy became aware of Adam’s erection nudging his side and slid down, pressing kisses to Adam’s belly, until he was even with his groin.
“I think it’s your turn, Babyboy,” he rasped as he rubbed his cheek along Adam’s thigh.
Adam looked down at him. “It’s okay, if you’re too tired I can go take care of it myself,” he offered half heartedly.
Tommy shook his head. Like hell Adam would take care of it himself. “If we’re going to wait until I’m not tired anymore it could be fucking years,” he laughed. “Something tells me this isn’t going to take long.”
Tommy blew gently across Adam’s pubic hair; it made Adam shudder and his cock twitch in anticipation. Tommy looked up at him and winked and then without further preamble he grasped Adam’s cock it in one hand and took in as far as he could.
Adam put a hand gently on the back of Tommy’s head but didn’t push. Tommy’d never get it all in, it was too big, but like this, with his hand around the base he could take in a satisfying amount. He could still feel the head of Adam`s cock nudging the back of his throat. Adam let out a ragged groan and lay back to let Tommy do his work.
Tommy had been right. It didn’t take long at all; within just a few short minutes he felt Adam stiffen and call out before he came so far down Tommy’s throat that he could barely taste it. Tommy wiped his mouth and then lay with his head on Adam’s belly. He softly licked at Adam, cleaning him off, lapping at his over-sensitive cock until he came down and gently pulled Tommy away.
“Thanks,” Adam told him huskily.
“Worth the wait?” Tommy chuckled, echoing Adam’s earlier words.
“Yeah,” Adam laughed. He pulled Tommy back up so they were lying face to face.
“Come here,” he whispered, pulling Tommy against his chest and kissing him softly on the forehead. Tommy found Adam’s hand and wove their fingers together before resting their hands on Adam’s chest. They lay there, just touching, enjoying a few moments of contact, while they both dozed for a few minutes.
The bedroom door was ajar, and Tommy could hear Austin beginning to whimper in his bassinette. They’d probably woken him up with the noise they’d made. Tommy had been too distracted to hear himself but he knew Adam had made a hell of a lot of noise when he was coming. They would have to sleep with the bedroom door closed from now on.
Tommy felt the bed dip as Adam climbed out to take care of the next diaper change and feeding and he shut his eyes, pulled the covers up and went back to sleep feeling more relaxed than he had in a long time.
***********************************
A couple weeks later they were having a lazy Sunday morning. Austin had been sleeping for hours, something very unusual for the insomniac from hell as they now liked to refer to him. A bone-weary Adam was taking advantage of the situation and sleeping in.
Neil was away for the weekend so they had the apartment to themselves and Tommy found himself with some rare Tommy time. There was something he needed to do and he found himself pacing back and forth with the phone in his hand, finally punching a number in from memory.
Immerman’s voice sounded groggy when he answered, “Hello.”
“Hey man, it’s Tommy.”
There was a pause and then Immerman’s voice shot up. “Tommy! How are you? Where are you? Are you back in LA? Hang on!” There was a pause in the deluge of questions and Tommy heard him shout, “Allie, wake up. Tommy’s on the phone!”
Tommy heard muffled voices and then some thumping as Immerman said, “Just putting you onto speaker phone, man.”
“Tommy! How are you?” Allison squealed, and there was more banging and Immerman’s cry of “Ouch!” reverberated through the phone.
“I’m good,” Tommy said, laughing at the strange noises. “I’m fine. I’m back in LA. Everything is good now.”
“That’s awesome.”
“We’ve missed you, Tommy,” Allison told him. “I’ve been so worried about you since David told me what was going on. I’m pissed off at you, you know, for not telling me.”
“I’m sorry, Allie. It was just really fucked up. It kind of caught up to me all at once.” At least that part was the truth, and the fact that he hated any pain he had caused his friends.
“It’s okay, Tommy. I’m just glad you’re alright.”
“Where are you staying? Back at your place?” Immerman asked.
“No, I’m at Adam’s.”
There was a pause and Immerman’s voice asked, “Is that living AT Adam’s or living WITH Adam?”
“Living with,” Tommy replied, listening intently for their reaction.
“YES!” Allison shouted and Immerman added, “About fucking time! It’s taken you two long enough to figure that one out.”
“Christ, don`t tell me you two knew too?” Tommy muttered.
“Of course we knew, you fucker! It`s not like you two were very discreet. What are you up to today? Are you busy? Can we come and see you?” David asked.
Tommy paused and thought about it a minute. He and Adam had zero plans for the day. “Yeah, that would be great, but before you do, there’s something I need to tell you. Things are different for me now.”
“Sure, man. We know you have to make amends,” Immerman informed him confidently.
Tommy frowned. “What the hell are you talking about, Immerman?” he laughed.
“The twelve step program, man. Making amends for harm caused and all that shit. My dad went all through that,” Immerman explained.
Tommy couldn’t help but chuckle. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s a bigger change than that, bracing himself for the next step. Tommy took a deep breath and started.
“I know it’s going to seem really weird but I, I mean we, Adam and I, um, we have a baby. We have a son now.” Tommy waited.
There was silence, then Allison shrieked and Tommy had to hold the phone away from his ear.
“Ahhhhhh! OMG, Tommy, no waaaaaaaay!”
Immerman’s voice was excited too. “Congratulations, Tommy! Is he with you there? How old is he? ”
“His name is Austin, and he’s six weeks old now. And yes,” Tommy said with a smile, “he lives with us.”
“We’re fucking coming over right now, man. Right now,” Immerman told him and all Tommy could hear from Allison were some unintelligible happy sounds some girls tended to make at the thought of babies. Tommy laughed; poor Immerman, he was going to be in for it once Allison saw Austin and her biological clock kicked in. That dude was in trouble.
Tommy answered the intercom half an hour later and buzzed Immerman and Allison up to the apartment. Not long after he found himself with a squirming armful of Allison and he winced a little when she threw herself at him. Immerman was hanging back and grinning madly, holding an enormous purple teddy bear in his arms, and Tommy held out an arm for him as Allie clung to him, squeezing him in a tight hug.
A couple weeks earlier and Tommy would have been on the floor curled up in agony but his body had recovered enough now that he could just let Allison hang off him with nothing more than a twinge in his belly.
Allison kissed his cheek, and Tommy was relieved the testosterone pills had started his facial hair growing again. As Immerman stepped back he pulled Allison back with him and then pushed the teddy bear into Tommy’s arms.
“This is for you, but you can let Austin and Adam play with it if you want to.”
Tommy took the bear and blinked back sudden tears. “Shit, I’ve missed you guys. Come in, but you’ve got to be quiet!” he whispered loudly. “Adam is asleep.”
“It’s after noon, man,” Immerman complained, dropping the volume on his voice a little, but still clearly shocked that Adam was sleeping so late.
“What can I say?” Tommy replied with a shrug. “He’s a new dad. We sleep whenever we can.” He moved the pile of towels and baby sleepers onto the coffee table and flopped onto the couch, teddy bear still in his arms.
“Have a seat. Sorry it’s a bit of a disaster around here. Austin seems to take up all of our time.”
Allison and Immerman sat down side by side at the other end of the couch and Tommy couldn’t help but think what a cute pair the two of them made. He was glad they were still obviously going strong as a couple. Immerman took Allie’s hand and the two of them regarded him a minute before he could keep the questions at bay anymore.
“So how the fuck did you wind up with a kid?” he asked, finally getting to the point.
“The usual way,” Tommy said with a shrug. They’d had lots of time to think up a plausible story in the months he and Adam had spent together. “I was fucking around on Carmen. Someone got pregnant.”
Immerman looked puzzled. “And the mom didn’t want the baby? Is that why you’re raising her?”
“Kind of,” Tommy hedgec. “It’s a bit more complicated than that, but Austin is ours now.”
Allison nodded and then glanced up at Immerman. Obviously they still had more questions. “So? How come you finally decided to get together with Adam? It’s been years Tommy, why now?”
“Adam was there when everything fell to pieces last year. When I needed somewhere to go to, he let me stay with him until I was ready to come back to LA. We kind of realized some things then. I was pretty messed up for a while and he was there for me.”
Immerman nodded. “Yeah, you were really struggling last time I saw you. I was pissed off at you for a while that you didn’t tell any of us that you were in trouble, but I guess that was part of the problem, not being able to tell anyone. We’re just glad you’re back, man. You look good. Kind of put on some weight though.”
Allison elbowed Immerman. “Don`t be an asshole,” she told him.
“It’s okay, Allie” Tommy laughed. “I put on a ton of weight sitting around doing nothing. I guess I’ll lose it when I start working again. What’ve you two been up to? Have you been touring? I’m so out of touch with everyone.”
“Allie’s been working on her new album,” Immerman told him proudly, squeezing her hand when he spoke. “It’s getting released next month and then we’ll be touring again this summer.”
Immerman grinned at Tommy. “What about Adam? It’s going to be hard to top that last album. Man, that thing’s been on the fucking charts all year. Is he working on anything new? He’s kind of dropped out of sight lately too and everyone’s been wondering what he’s got planned.”
Tommy laughed. “He’s getting started but to be honest, we’ve got our hands full with Austin right now. He’s a full time job.”
As if on cue the baby monitor on the table squawked, and Tommy said, “Shit, I better get him before he wakes up Adam.” He got up and headed to the nursery with Allison and Immerman right behind.
Austin was lying on his back, face screwed up as he cried, tears trickling down his face. “Don’t cry, Auss,” Tommy cooed, picking him up and holding him against his shoulder. “Daddy’s got you now,” he murmured.
Austin sobbed against Tommy’s shoulder and he put him down on the change table and reached for one of the diapers stacked on the shelf below. He looked up to find Allison and Immerman staring at him open-mouthed from the doorway. He turned back to Austin who was still sobbing as he unzipped his sleeper with practiced efficiency and realized how odd it all must look to them.
He’d had the whole pregnancy to get used to the idea, and six weeks for the pattern to become routine, so routine he could do it while mostly asleep now. Tommy changed Austin quickly, replaced his damp sleeper with a clean one and picked him up again, tossing the wet diaper in the bucket beside the change table and the sleeper in the laundry hamper.
Austin stopped crying when he was picked up, making Tommy laugh at him. He held him out to Immerman and said, “Hold him for a second while I wash my hands and I’ll get a bottle.”
When he came back from the bathroom Immerman was still holding Austin, albeit nervously and Allie was leaning in and making faces at him while holding gently onto one of his tiny hands. Austin looked from one of them to the other in his nearsighted baby way.
Immerman handed him gently back to Tommy and Allison whispered, “He’s beautiful, Tommy, just beautiful. You must love him so much.”
Tommy kissed the top of Austin’s. “We do.”
Austin was unmistakably his child, his cheekbones and mouth, and with just the faintest hint of Adam’s jaw line and his eyes, if someone knew to look for them. It was going to be interesting seeing how he turned out. His hair was brown rather than red but already there was a hint of freckles. Tommy sat on the couch and fed his son while the other two watched.
Adam appeared half an hour later; Immerman was lying on his back on the rug with Austin on his chest, gurgling happily while Allison crouched beside them and took pictures with her phone.
He waved blearily at Immerman and smiled fondly when Allison got up and gave him a hug before he sat down on the couch, resting his head sleepily on Tommy’s shoulder. “We’ve been invaded,” he observed. “Was it a spontaneous event, or did you ask them over?”
Tommy kissed Adam’s forehead. “I phoned Immerman to say hi and they wanted to come and see Austin right away. The plan is for someone to go out for beer and pizzas for dinner. They’ve settled in for the rest of the day.”
“They’ve had plenty of sleep. Make them get the pizza and beer,” Adam replied, closing his eyes and settling against Tommy’s shoulder.
*******************************
Adam’s birthday party was unlike any other year; far more low key, limited to only family and close friends. Leila booked one of Adam’s favourite restaurants so that they had the whole place to themselves. Eber had come up and was back in the nursery. Neil was still living on their couch. He’d been talking about looking for his own place but Adam and Tommy weren’t pushing it; despite his sometimes contrary nature they liked having him around.
Monte was there with his family, as were Danielle, the Cherry’s, and Alisan Porter. Tommy’s family all came, delighting in seeing how much Austin had changed in the month since they’d seen him at Christmas. Tommy’d had every intention of getting back to Burbank to visit Lisa and the others; it just had never happened. It was hard enough to get out to the grocery store.
Sutan couldn’t make it but Isaac and Sophie were there, Alison and Immerman, Brooke and Terrance, Brad, some people from Adam`s management team, and a few other old friends and family Leila had contacted. Tommy worried that someone who knew the whole story would let something slip to one of the others but nothing of the sort happened.
It was a relaxed evening, with Austin being passed from one delighted group to another and for once cooperating by not being too fussy. Leila thought it was maybe because he took after Adam in that regard; always a party boy. Tommy couldn`t stop smiling when he saw how happy Adam was to have his friends together and was glad he and Leila had made what effort they had.
It wasn`t a late night. Once dinner was finished and the cake served Adam and Tommy looked at each other and laughed when they saw each other yawning. It was time to go home. The two of them made their way around the tables saying their goodbyes and thank you to the guests before collecting Austin from Lisa Pittman and leaving. Tommy drove; he was the designated driver for the evening.
When they got home Tommy sat wearily on the edge of the bed and kicked off his shoes and socks. He took off his pants and pulled his shirt over his head before crawling under the covers. Adam joined him, sliding in behind Tommy and running his hand down over his hip in a familiar hopeful gesture.
Tommy turned over so he was facing Adam and kissed him softly. Adam returned the kiss immediately and they lay there kissing and stroking their hands over each other’s bodies. Adam’s hand dipped lower and Tommy pulled away a little; he was nowhere close to being hard. Except for the one day after his first testosterone shot Tommy’s body had remained stubbornly uncooperative. It was beginning to worry him.
“It’s because you’re so tired,” Adam reassured him immediately. “I am too. It’ll be back soon.”
“I hope so,” Tommy sighed. He leaned in and rested his head on Adam’s outstretched arm. “Do you want me to do something for you?” he asked, trying to suppress a yawn.
“No, I’m fine. Let’s just get some sleep. That’s about as exciting as it gets right now.”
“Yeah, sounds good,” Tommy agreed reluctantly. He felt like he was a hundred years old some nights. He kissed Adam gently once more. “Happy Birthday, Babyboy.”
Adam chuckled. “Thank's, Glitterbaby.”
They were both sound asleep in minutes. As an extra birthday present Eber and Neil took the two night feedings and Adam and Tommy didn’t have to get up again until 8:00. It was amazing. Adam had been right. It didn’t take much for excitement anymore.
Chapter Sixteen