(no subject)
Title: No Expectations - Chapter Twelve
Author: firiel77
Word Count: 5422
Warnings: WIP, Mpreg, babies, breastfeeding
Rating: NC17
Pairings: Adam/Tommy
Summary: Tommy’s just feeling a bit off. Set about five years in the future. Adam is a Rock God. Tommy still plays guitar for him.
Beta: thrace_adams Whee, thanks so much for stepping in with the beta and the encouragement.
CreditThank you to chaosmanor for graciously agreeing to let me rework her wonderful story Thursday's Child in a different fandom; this fic is what inspired me to try mpreg which is saying something. I encourage everyone to read it. It can be found right here.
Disclaimer: This is fiction people.
Feedback: Sure. Let me know what’s working for you.
Authors Notes: I never thought I’d do it but this is a big old MPreg. Read if you dare. It’s also a WIP and I’m not sure where it will go yet although it will probably be fairly long and I’ve got quite a few chapters roughed out. I’ve just been seeing people pining for domestic fics and (gulp) babies so thought I’d give it a shot.
Thank you jashelle1 for the awesome banner and poster you did for my story. You’re the best.
Previous Chapters Here
Pain. It was the first thing Tommy became aware of. It was rolling in waves, ebbing away slightly and then washing back over him again and making him wish everything would go black once more. His eyelid felt like they were made of lead, so heavy they were impossible to open. He wanted to speak but his throat was rough and sore.
He would’ve given anything for a drink of water. The pain receded a little and he fought to open his eyes. The room was dim, foreign, full of shadows and unfamiliar shapes; he could hear the rhythmic beeping of the monitors behind his head. Tommy tried to speak but only a dry croak came out.
His vision began to clear and a figure curled up in a recliner finally came into focus. Adam. His long legs were drawn up and his head had lolled in an uncomfortable angle while he slept. A woman Tommy didn’t know walked towards him, studied the monitors for a moment and then bent over him and smiled.
“Hi” she said quietly, “I see you’re awake, Tommy”, and almost immediately Adam was right beside him taking his hand. A nurse, the woman must be a nurse, Tommy realized. She lifted a straw to his lips and he sipped and then felt icy cold water sliding over the rawness of his throat.
Memory came flooding back, an explanation for the pain, and he blinked at Adam. “The baby?”
Adam smiled softly and squeezed his hand. “He’s fine. He’s here, see?” he said softly and then pointed at an enclosed layette across the room. Tommy could see a bundle in it, a tiny bundle.
“Is everything okay?’ Tommy asked, and the tears started once more. He tried to turn his body so that he could see better but the pain rushed back and he had to fall back with a soft groan.
“Don’t worry,” Adam reassured him. “You need to take it easy though. Please. They don’t want you doing anything for a while,” he told Tommy, his voice tight with emotion.
“I need to see him.”
Adam looked pleadingly at the nurse, and she moved away and came back a moment later with a bundle in her arms.
“Here’s your baby,” she said.
Adam pushed the controls on the side rail of the bed and it whirred softly, the back beginning to inch upright. Pain swamped Tommy’s abdomen at the movement, but he ignored it, keeping his eyes fixed on the blanket wrapped shape in the nurse’s arms, holding his own arms out to accept it.
The baby was asleep, eyes peacefully shut, dark hair sticking out from under a knitted cap, and Adam sat on the bed beside Tommy, “He still needs some oxygen, it’s why they’re keeping him an incubator. They told me I can hold him of a little bit at a time though and it would be okay,” he explained. Tommy nodded.
Tommy touched the baby’s face with a fingertip, tracing his brows and tiny cheek, and the baby moved restlessly. When he lifted his finger away, the tip was sticky and he looked at the nurse, puzzled.
“That’s what’s left of the vernix,” she told him. "Baby hasn't had a bath yet."
Tommy nodded again. Now he could remember reading about vernix, he could remember all sorts of things, between the waves of pain. Like Adam singing to him, and Dr. Frost leaning over him, and how everything had finally gone cold and dark. But now he was holding his baby.
The baby’s hair was sticky and clumped too, under the cap, but he could see it was the same colour as his own and he pulled the top of the blanket open a bit and looked at the tiny neck and shoulders. “He’s so small.”
Adam nodded, his hand stroking across Tommy’s arm where it held the baby. “Just over 5 pounds,” Adam said. “He’s got a bit of catching up to do but the paediatrician says he’s fine. Our mom’s have been up but they’ve gone home now for the night and I called Monte and told him. He’s going to tell everyone else.”
“What time is it?” Tommy asked.
Adam looked at his watch. “It’s 7:30.”
Tommy was puzzled. He felt like he'd slept longer than that.
“In the morning?” he rasped, trying to see if there was a window in the room he’d not noticed.
Adam noticed his confusion and shook his head. “No, at night. It’s Thursday. You’ve been unconscious for over a day,” he told Tommy. “You really scared me.”
“Shit,” Tommy swore softly.
“Yeah,” Adam agreed. Tommy looked at him more closely and saw red puffy eyes surrounded by dark shadows most likely from sleeplessness. Clearly it had been a long day.
The nurse replaced his empty IV bag and fiddled with the pump a moment before smiling at the two of them. I’ll leave you three for a few minutes. I want to give Dr. Frost a call and let her know you’re awake, Tommy.” She looked down at the baby in Tommy’s arms.
“You can hold him for a couple more minutes, but not too long. You need to rest. Okay?”
He nodded and the two of them watched her leave the room. Tommy looked down at his sleeping son and was overwhelmed with such strong emotions that he felt tears welling up yet again. He looked back up at Adam.
“He’s beautiful,” he told Adam, and his voice was hoarse.
“He’s amazing,” Adam agreed, running a finger gently over their son’s cheek.
Tommy shook his head as words failed him. “It’s hard to believe, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” Adam wiped a tear off Tommy’s cheek as his hands were full. “I’ve been the same, as soon as I knew you were okay. I’ve been holding him and crying all day. My mom cried too, so did yours.”
Adam slid a chair next to the bed so that he could sit down and they sat quietly and stared at the tiny miracle sleeping in Tommy’s arms. Tommy found the pain wasn’t too bad if he didn’t move at all and the baby weighed next to nothing; it would have taken wild horses to make him relinquish him. Adam rested his head on the edge of the bed and Tommy smiled when he saw his eyes fluttering shut in exhaustion.
The both started when Dr. Frost walked in the door and came to the bedside. She studied the monitors a moment before turning to Tommy and smiling.
“Hello, Tommy. I’m glad to see you’re awake. You gave us quite a scare last night.”
“Sorry,” was all Tommy could think of to say.
Dr. Frost patted his hand. “That’s alright. Everything looks good now. Your vitals are stable. The placenta is very vascular and unfortunately there was significant bleeding from where the placenta attached to your bowel that we hadn’t anticipated. It took us some time to get it under control before we could finish your surgery.
Dr. Frost looked over at Adam and frowned. “Adam, I’m sorry about yesterday. That was unfortunate but it’s best that family members not be present during that type of situation.
Tommy gave Adam a puzzled look. “What happened?”
Adam looked sheepish when he finally answered. “I tried to get back into the OR when I realized something was happening with you. And they wouldn’t let me. I kind of lost it for a minute.”
“That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one,” Dr. Frost chuckled. “It took everyone we had to keep him out.”
“I’m really sorry about that,” Adam assured her. “Is the paediatrician okay?”
Tommy glared at Adam wondering what the hell had happened.
Dr. Frost waved her hand dismissively. “He’s alright, just a bit of a bruised ego, is all. I spoke to him afterwards and he’s fine. The security guards are alright too.”
“I didn’t mean to knock anyone down; I just wanted to make sure Tommy was okay.”
“Don’t worry, Adam,” Dr. Frost told him. “It was understandable under the circumstances. You were worried. I’m sorry they had to put you in restraints.”
Tommy was wide-eyed; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, well maybe he could, knowing how Adam could sometimes get. “They had to restrain you?” he asked Adam incredulously.
Adam had the good grace to look embarrassed by the whole thing. “Well, they let me go once I’d calmed down.”
Dr. Frost laughed. “I must say it’s the first time I’ve performed surgery while it sounded like open warfare just outside my OR,” she smiled down at Tommy.
“You’re a lucky guy to have someone who cares about you so much.”
She turned back to her work and quickly read through the baby’s chart.
“Baby is doing really well. I’d thought he might need to be in intensive care for a few more hours, but he’s breathing beautifully by himself. We’ll stop monitoring him so closely probably tomorrow.”
Dr. Frost turned back to Tommy. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore,” he admitted.
“No doubt,” she agreed. Dr. Frost looked at Tommy thoughtfully. “The reason I’m asking is that I haven’t given you the methotrexate yet, the drug which will destroy what remains of the placenta. I’ve also been managing your pain conservatively.”
Tommy looked at her blankly and was about to ask why when she held up her hand, “that’s because I knew you’d want to wake up and see your baby as soon as possible.”
Tommy nodded; that was true. Dr. Frost continued with her explanation. “I also thought you might want to try feeding the baby yourself. You'll only have the one chance. Once you’ve had the methotrexate, it will no longer be an option.”
Tommy blinked at her. “Feed the baby?” He shook his head. “No, I can’t,” he told her quickly, feeling sudden abhorrence at the thought. “No.”
He turned to Adam who, judging by his expression seemed to be equally stunned; obviously breastfeeding wasn’t an option Adam had envisioned either. He looked slightly scandalized at the idea and Tommy couldn't help but smile at the expression on his face.
“That’s fine,” Dr. Frost told them both. “I just wanted to give you the option, seeing as this is never going to happen again. I could have one of the maternity nurses come and show you what to do if you’re interested. It’s something a lot of mothers find very rewarding.”
Tommy looked down at the baby in his arms and touched his cheek again. The baby moved his head, turning towards Tommy’s finger, opening his mouth silently. Other feelings suddenly joined the pain and revulsion in Tommy’s mind; protectiveness and love and nurturing, and a sudden inexplicable need to give his child everything he could. The nurturing won out.
Tommy’s eyes darting up at Adam and to Dr. Frost. “I’ve changed my mind,” he blurted out. “But I don’t want anyone else in the room except Adam, and the nurse to show me what to do at first, because I have no idea.”
Dr Frost smiled at them and then nodded. “Alright, I’ll go see if someone is free,” she said before she left the room.
Tommy put his hand on Adam’s. “You can’t ever tell anyone. Promise?”
“Can I tell baby, if he ever asks,” Adam replied, his hand gently touching the baby’s knitted cap while he rested on Tommy’s arm.
Tommy met Adam’s eyes and smiled. “Yeah, we can tell him, someday. I forgot there’s three of us now. Just not for a while.”
“There’s plenty of time,” Adam agreed.
Tommy thought a moment and then asked him,” did your mom bring up our camera?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it here now. Why?”
“I want some pictures too. Just a few. Just for the baby, for later. Just so he knows.”
“Okay,” Adam told him softly. “Are you sure?”
Tommy shook his head. “No, I’m not fucking sure, but right now I just want to take this as far as it goes.” He looked down at the baby in his arms. “What do I do?” he asked nervously. “I have no idea what to do.”
Adam’s blank expression demonstrated that he had no suggestions at all; clearly he was in unfamiliar territory. Tommy would have laughed if he’d not known how much it would hurt; he couldn’t remember ever seeing Adam quite so ill at ease.
A nurse who introduced herself a Rhonda came in and showed Tommy with an easy competence just how it was all done. She leaned down and pulled the baby’s blankets open further, so the cool air roused the tiny infant, and stroked his cheek.
“See, that’s all you need to do to wake them.” Rhonda took the baby gently from Tommy’s arms and said, “See if you can pull your gown up out of the way.”
The baby was beginning to cry, and Tommy pulled at his gown and found it opened up the front, presumably for feeding. His teeth gritted momentarily when it felt like someone stuck a hot skewer through his belly as he moved. His breasts were full and shiny in the bedside light, nipples dark and thick, and he looked up at her.
“What now?”
Rhonda placed the baby in Tommy’s arms and guided it onto its side, so its face was pressed against Tommy’s breast. Her hands were steady as she moved the baby’s head back a little, giving it room to breathe.
Tommy said, “Oh!” very suddenly when their baby opened his mouth wide and butted his head forward against Tommy, then his nipple disappeared into the baby’s mouth.
Tommy was exhilarated for a moment, then panicked, then exhilarated again. He had been unhappy about his breasts growing throughout the pregnancy, it had just seemed the final ignominy on top of all the other indignities he’d had to face, but there was suddenly a feeling of complete ‘rightness’ about their baby suckling there now.
When Tommy tore his eyes away from the way the baby’s jaw was moving and looked at Adam; there were tears streaming down his face.
Tommy thought he knew about intimacy, thought he knew about sharing his body with someone else, thought that maybe Adam had taken him to all the places there were to go, but there was a submission in giving their baby his breast that he had never felt before.
Adam leant forward across the baby to kiss Tommy’s cheek and Tommy’s face was wet with Adam’s tears when he pulled back.
Tommy said, “Jesus, Adam. I can feel it.” He could. The heat that he had come to know as a part of arousal was burning through both of his breasts too, spreading with inevitability through him until finally something let go and the baby began gulping.
“Fuck!” Tommy gasped, and he could hear the panic in his own voice.
“What? What’s wrong?” Adam asked immediately.
“Nothing,” Tommy admitted. “It just feels so weird, is all.”
“Like what?”
Tommy shook his head in bemusement. “It feels almost like sex.”
“It’s supposed to feel like that,” Rhonda reassured him, patting him on the shoulder. “I’ll leave you three alone now. You can come and get me if you need anything.”
“When should I take pictures?” Adam asked, quite fascinated with what Tommy was doing.
“Now, I guess.”
Tommy stared down at their son drinking. He heard the click, click, click of photos being taken and then finally the soft thud of Adam putting the camera down on the bedside table.
“I hope they turned out okay,” Adam said. “It would be better if Lee were doing them.”
Tommy just looked up and stared at him tiredly, “No fucking way.”
Sometime later Rhonda checked in on them and said “How about we swap sides now? Let me do this bit or you’ll hurt yourself.” Tommy nodded mutely, the whole process still bewildering him.
Rhonda slid her little finger into the side of the baby’s mouth and Tommy’s nipple popped out, strangely flattened now. “Wow,” was all Tommy could say.
Rhonda turned the baby over and settled it against Tommy’s other breast, and he attached himself to the breast smoothly. The baby’s suckling finally slowed and this time Adam popped the nipple out with his little finger, looked quite proud of his accomplishment.
“I’ll go tell Rhonda you’re done.”
“Okay.”
“Did all go well?” Rhonda asked as she came back in. Tommy nodded and she took the baby out of his arms. “I need to check his temperature and pulse. You’ll be able to hold him again later, I promise. Dr. Frost is still on the ward as well. She’ll be right in. She wants to see you once more.”
When Dr. Frost arrived she sat down at the bedside and smiled at Tommy. “How was feeding the baby?”
Tommy’s eyes went across the room to the crib. “Amazing. I’m really sore though.”
Dr. Frost smiled at him. “That’s to be expected. You’ve had major abdominal surgery. Now that you’ve met baby we can treat your pain more aggressively. You have a morphine pump attached so you have a little bit of control over your pain. The machine is set so there’s no possible way you can overdose yourself. I’ll probably let you stay on it for another twelve hours or so and then switch you to an oral narcotic. Right now the goal is to get your pain under enough control that you can get up and walk.”
She scribbled some notes on his chart and Tommy was relieved to hear he’d be able to control the pain medication somewhat. Now that he no longer had the baby to distract him he was aware of a dull but strong pain in his abdomen. Dr. Frost looked back up at him when she’d finished.
“Now that you’ve breastfed, I need to give you the methotrexate. It’s a toxin and will show up in your breast milk. You won’t be able to breast feed while you’re taking it but if you want to resume once I’ve cleared you, you may. If you’re committed you can express and dump in order to keep your supply going. If you choose not to, your breasts will disappear within a few weeks. What would you like to do, Tommy?”
Tommy looked at the baby again and shook his head. “I’m glad I tried it this once, just to find out what it was like, but in eight weeks I’m hoping I’ll be male again.”
Dr. Frost laughed. “You will be. I removed all the ovarian material, the fallopian tube and the vagina, and repaired the fistula. Once the methotrexate works on the placenta so that it’s no longer producing hormones , you’ll cross back over to male quite quickly, hopefully within six or eight weeks. Rose will be seeing you during that time to supervise everything, so she’ll be able to give you a closer idea of what’s happening. But I can tell you right now that anatomically you are male.”
Relief overwhelmed Tommy. He had been living in an alien body for the better part of a year and now he finally was getting his own back.
Dr. Frost squeezed his thigh. “Like that idea?” she asked and he nodded.
“I need to warn you, methotrexate is quite harsh to take. It might make you queasy and upset your bowels for the first few days though you won’t be going home from here until the worst of the side effects are over. You can’t have any receptive anal sex for a couple months, to let the fistula repair heal. I’ll also prescribe a drug to suppress milk production. Anything you want to ask?”
“Yeah, how exactly does this morphine pump work?”
Dr. Frost laughed again. “I’ll have the nurse come in and explain it to you, and tomorrow, when you don’t feel like somebody has just ripped your belly open and removed a baby and some organs, you can ask me some more questions.”
*******************************
The next morning Tommy felt much better. The morphine certainly helped. It was still painful to move around and getting up to the bathroom was agony. His abdomen felt strange, sore and flaccid, almost like all his insides might spill out like some kind of horror movie. He and his morphine pump were inseparable.
Tommy’s mom came up in the afternoon to visit and to relieve Adam so that he could go home for a shower, something he had to be forced to do. Tommy wanted him to go get some sleep, the lounger must have been hell to try to sleep on, but he’d stubbornly refused to consider the idea.
Tommy sat up in his bed while Dia sat in the lounger with the baby in her arms. It was her third grandchild but no less special than the others and perhaps, considering the circumstances, a little bit more.
She smiled up at Tommy. “I think he looks like Adam.”
“The hair though,” Tommy said doubtfully, thinking of Adam’s natural golden red.
“That’s just baby hair. It could change,” Dia assured him.
“What was mine like?”
Dia though a moment, “I think you were bald. Or was that Lisa?”
Tommy laughed although the movement made him like his guts were going to spill out. He was glad his mom was back. He’d missed her a lot and he knew how much she’d helped Lisa with her kids when they were babies. Somehow he knew he and Adam would need all the help they could get with the baby.
Dia turned to him and smiled, “You’re father would be so proud of you.”
The idea surprised Tommy a little. He and his dad had sometimes not been on the best of terms, particularly when Tommy had refused to go to college. His father had always wanted him to have a backup plan should a musical career not work out. Tommy wasn’t so sure that getting knocked up by his band mate and having a baby would be any more praiseworthy in his father’s eyes than his choice of career had been.
“I don’t know,” he said noncommittally.
His mother shook her head.
“Tommy, I know you and your dad didn’t always agree about things but he always loved you and wanted the best for you. I wished he’d had a chance to tell you himself, but before he died he told me how proud he was of you for sticking with your music. He was very happy he lived long enough to see you successful in your career. And he would have been even more proud to see you as a father.”
Tommy felt his throat tightening up, making it hard to speak. He wished his dad were around too. He wished Ron could have seen his only grandson.
Adam came back an hour or so later, freshly showered and looking much better in clothes he hadn’t slept in for two nights. Dia handed off the baby to Adam before she kissed Tommy goodbye, promising that Lisa would be up the next night to see them all.
Adam put the still sleeping baby down in his layette and then sat down beside the bed. “Monte and Lisa say congratulations,” he smiled. “The girls are going crazy. They want to see the baby as soon as they can. I think we’ve got babysitters for life.”
“That’s good.”
Adam picked up Tommy’s hand and kissed it. “How do you feel?”
“Pretty good,” he assured groggily. “This morphine is awesome.”
Adam laughed. “I might be sending you to rehab after all.”
Tommy smiled. “Feel better after having a shower?”
“Definitely.”
“Did you have something to eat?” Tommy wondered. He bet Adam hadn’t wanted to spare the time.
“Yeah,” he answered quickly.
Tommy looked at him appraisingly, wondering if it was worth calling him on it or not. Just then one of the care aids came in with his own dinner and sat it on the table beside his bed. Tommy could smell something surprisingly good and it made his stomach growl.
Adam slid the table across the bed so that Tommy’s food was within reach and uncovered his plate. It was some kind of thin soup but he didn’t care, he was hungry enough to eat anything. He grabbed his spoon and started eating, then stopped and looked at Adam.
“Do you want some?” he asked, not sure he wanted to share but feeling like he should at least offer.
Adam shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go down to the cafeteria.” He looked over at the layette. “I’ll try not to be too long in case he wakes up.”
Tommy just nodded, not wanting to speak with his mouth full and immediately shovelled in some more. He didn’t slow down until he’d eaten everything on his plate, drank his juice and eaten the tiny bit of jello they’d included. He put his head back and shut his eyes.
It seemed like only a few seconds before he heard the first whimper coming from the layette. Someone was waking up. Tommy winced, wishing he hadn’t sent Adam away to get something to eat. Shit, he’d have to get up and deal with things himself.
He grabbed his pillow, pressed it against his abdomen and gently slid his legs over the side of the bed. He pushed himself upright without using any of his stomach muscles and shuffled over to the mini fridge for the bottle of formula he knew was there and then to the layette. His hands shook a little when he picked up his baby but he managed to settle in the recliner without too much discomfort and when the baby took the bottle readily he felt an enormous sense of accomplishment.
When Adam got back from eating the baby was done as well. Tommy was still in the recliner with the baby in his arms and he looked up and smiled when Adam came in.
“Hey you’re back. I just fed him.”
“Yeah? And it went okay?”
“I guess so. He drank quite a bit.” Tommy looked back down at their son who’d quickly gone back to sleep. “I guess I should change him too, before I put him back.”
“I’ll do it,” Adam said immediately, leaning down to take the bundle from Tommy who instinctively held on a little tighter, reluctant to let Adam take him. He’d missed the whole first day after his surgery and he wanted to start taking care of his son now although having a tug of war over the small bundle probably wasn’t a good idea.
“I want to do it,” he told Adam insistantly.
Adam hesitated, “Okay, here I’ll just take him while you get up out of the chair. I’ll put him in the layette and then you can change him.”
Tommy joined Adam at the layette and gingerly got everything he needed for the operation ready while Adam hovered over his shoulder. When all was set he unwrapped their son and reached for a baby wipe.
“I like to get the next diaper ready first,” Adam suggested.
“Yeah, well I’m doing it this way,” Tommy told him.
Adam went quiet. Tommy wiped the baby off and then squeezed out some cream to spread on the baby before lifting him and sliding a diaper under his bottom.
“I usually use more of that cream.”
Tommy looked up and gave Adam a withering look. “I have done this before, you know.”
“Really?” Adam seemed surprised.
“Yeah, I’ve changed my sister’s kids,” Tommy told him a bit defensively. He didn’t know why that fact would be so shocking. He’d babysat for Lisa and some of his cousins over the years. Tommy fastened the diaper around the baby snugly before turning back to Adam.
“How many diapers have you changed before yesterday?” Tommy asked.
The side of Adam’s mouth twitched before he answered. Tommy knew where this was going. “None,” he admitted.
“Well then, let me do it, okay?” Tommy told him, not sure why he was so irritable.
“Okay. Sorry.” Adam held his hands up in surrender.
Tommy sighed, guilt over snapping at Adam hitting him in the chest. “It’s okay.” He surveyed the blanket that he’d taken off the baby to change him. He wasn’t at all sure how that went back on. As a peace offering for being so pissy he asked Adam, “Can you wrap him back up? I’ve never done that part before.”
Adam smiled. “Sure. I’ll show you how they said to do it.”
Once their baby was bundled up again and sleeping soundly Adam helped Tommy back into bed and then sat down in his chair. He rested his head down on the side of the mattress and Tommy put his hand on his head, running his fingers through his thick hair.
“Tired?” Tommy asked him.
“Ummmm,” he heard Adam mumble, his face buried in the bedding.
Tommy gingerly shifted himself over to the far side of the bed so there was room for two, not that there was a lot, but he didn’t want Adam to have to spend another night in the chair. Tommy rested his hand on Adam’s shoulder and shook him gently.
“Hey, Babyboy, climb in.”
Adam looked up blearily. “I’m too big. I won’t fit.”
“Yeah, you will. Come on; just take it slow so you don’t shake up my insides.”
Adam paused for a moment, obviously thinking and then toed off his shoes before lifting up the covers and sliding cautiously in with Tommy. Adam settled the covers around the two of them and ever so gently slid closer so that he could settle in comfortably with his head rested on Tommy’s shoulder.
Tommy put his hand on Adam’s neck and stoked the soft, warm skin he felt there.
“Hey,” Tommy said after a couple minutes, “I was thinking. I’d like to name the baby after my dad. Not his first name, that would be weird, but maybe the middle name. And name him after someone in your family too. I was thinking of Austin Neil Ronald Ratliff.”
He paused to see what Adam had to say on the matter; they’d not discussed names in months for obvious reasons. Tommy wasn’t even sure that Adam wouldn’t object to Ratliff as a last name, although fuck that. Tommy braced himself for opposition, determined to argue his case if need be. Instead Adam just looked up wearily and shook his head.
“After everything you’ve been through, baby, you can name him whatever the fuck you want.”
He put his head back down and promptly fell asleep. Tommy lay awake a few minutes longer, idly stroking Adam’s neck, listening to his soft breathing as he slept. They’d have to talk about the name again later, when Adam wasn’t so tired, although it had been kind of nice to have him give in without a fight for a change.
Author: firiel77
Word Count: 5422
Warnings: WIP, Mpreg, babies, breastfeeding
Rating: NC17
Pairings: Adam/Tommy
Summary: Tommy’s just feeling a bit off. Set about five years in the future. Adam is a Rock God. Tommy still plays guitar for him.
Beta: thrace_adams Whee, thanks so much for stepping in with the beta and the encouragement.
CreditThank you to chaosmanor for graciously agreeing to let me rework her wonderful story Thursday's Child in a different fandom; this fic is what inspired me to try mpreg which is saying something. I encourage everyone to read it. It can be found right here.
Disclaimer: This is fiction people.
Feedback: Sure. Let me know what’s working for you.
Authors Notes: I never thought I’d do it but this is a big old MPreg. Read if you dare. It’s also a WIP and I’m not sure where it will go yet although it will probably be fairly long and I’ve got quite a few chapters roughed out. I’ve just been seeing people pining for domestic fics and (gulp) babies so thought I’d give it a shot.
Thank you jashelle1 for the awesome banner and poster you did for my story. You’re the best.
Previous Chapters Here
Pain. It was the first thing Tommy became aware of. It was rolling in waves, ebbing away slightly and then washing back over him again and making him wish everything would go black once more. His eyelid felt like they were made of lead, so heavy they were impossible to open. He wanted to speak but his throat was rough and sore.
He would’ve given anything for a drink of water. The pain receded a little and he fought to open his eyes. The room was dim, foreign, full of shadows and unfamiliar shapes; he could hear the rhythmic beeping of the monitors behind his head. Tommy tried to speak but only a dry croak came out.
His vision began to clear and a figure curled up in a recliner finally came into focus. Adam. His long legs were drawn up and his head had lolled in an uncomfortable angle while he slept. A woman Tommy didn’t know walked towards him, studied the monitors for a moment and then bent over him and smiled.
“Hi” she said quietly, “I see you’re awake, Tommy”, and almost immediately Adam was right beside him taking his hand. A nurse, the woman must be a nurse, Tommy realized. She lifted a straw to his lips and he sipped and then felt icy cold water sliding over the rawness of his throat.
Memory came flooding back, an explanation for the pain, and he blinked at Adam. “The baby?”
Adam smiled softly and squeezed his hand. “He’s fine. He’s here, see?” he said softly and then pointed at an enclosed layette across the room. Tommy could see a bundle in it, a tiny bundle.
“Is everything okay?’ Tommy asked, and the tears started once more. He tried to turn his body so that he could see better but the pain rushed back and he had to fall back with a soft groan.
“Don’t worry,” Adam reassured him. “You need to take it easy though. Please. They don’t want you doing anything for a while,” he told Tommy, his voice tight with emotion.
“I need to see him.”
Adam looked pleadingly at the nurse, and she moved away and came back a moment later with a bundle in her arms.
“Here’s your baby,” she said.
Adam pushed the controls on the side rail of the bed and it whirred softly, the back beginning to inch upright. Pain swamped Tommy’s abdomen at the movement, but he ignored it, keeping his eyes fixed on the blanket wrapped shape in the nurse’s arms, holding his own arms out to accept it.
The baby was asleep, eyes peacefully shut, dark hair sticking out from under a knitted cap, and Adam sat on the bed beside Tommy, “He still needs some oxygen, it’s why they’re keeping him an incubator. They told me I can hold him of a little bit at a time though and it would be okay,” he explained. Tommy nodded.
Tommy touched the baby’s face with a fingertip, tracing his brows and tiny cheek, and the baby moved restlessly. When he lifted his finger away, the tip was sticky and he looked at the nurse, puzzled.
“That’s what’s left of the vernix,” she told him. "Baby hasn't had a bath yet."
Tommy nodded again. Now he could remember reading about vernix, he could remember all sorts of things, between the waves of pain. Like Adam singing to him, and Dr. Frost leaning over him, and how everything had finally gone cold and dark. But now he was holding his baby.
The baby’s hair was sticky and clumped too, under the cap, but he could see it was the same colour as his own and he pulled the top of the blanket open a bit and looked at the tiny neck and shoulders. “He’s so small.”
Adam nodded, his hand stroking across Tommy’s arm where it held the baby. “Just over 5 pounds,” Adam said. “He’s got a bit of catching up to do but the paediatrician says he’s fine. Our mom’s have been up but they’ve gone home now for the night and I called Monte and told him. He’s going to tell everyone else.”
“What time is it?” Tommy asked.
Adam looked at his watch. “It’s 7:30.”
Tommy was puzzled. He felt like he'd slept longer than that.
“In the morning?” he rasped, trying to see if there was a window in the room he’d not noticed.
Adam noticed his confusion and shook his head. “No, at night. It’s Thursday. You’ve been unconscious for over a day,” he told Tommy. “You really scared me.”
“Shit,” Tommy swore softly.
“Yeah,” Adam agreed. Tommy looked at him more closely and saw red puffy eyes surrounded by dark shadows most likely from sleeplessness. Clearly it had been a long day.
The nurse replaced his empty IV bag and fiddled with the pump a moment before smiling at the two of them. I’ll leave you three for a few minutes. I want to give Dr. Frost a call and let her know you’re awake, Tommy.” She looked down at the baby in Tommy’s arms.
“You can hold him for a couple more minutes, but not too long. You need to rest. Okay?”
He nodded and the two of them watched her leave the room. Tommy looked down at his sleeping son and was overwhelmed with such strong emotions that he felt tears welling up yet again. He looked back up at Adam.
“He’s beautiful,” he told Adam, and his voice was hoarse.
“He’s amazing,” Adam agreed, running a finger gently over their son’s cheek.
Tommy shook his head as words failed him. “It’s hard to believe, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” Adam wiped a tear off Tommy’s cheek as his hands were full. “I’ve been the same, as soon as I knew you were okay. I’ve been holding him and crying all day. My mom cried too, so did yours.”
Adam slid a chair next to the bed so that he could sit down and they sat quietly and stared at the tiny miracle sleeping in Tommy’s arms. Tommy found the pain wasn’t too bad if he didn’t move at all and the baby weighed next to nothing; it would have taken wild horses to make him relinquish him. Adam rested his head on the edge of the bed and Tommy smiled when he saw his eyes fluttering shut in exhaustion.
The both started when Dr. Frost walked in the door and came to the bedside. She studied the monitors a moment before turning to Tommy and smiling.
“Hello, Tommy. I’m glad to see you’re awake. You gave us quite a scare last night.”
“Sorry,” was all Tommy could think of to say.
Dr. Frost patted his hand. “That’s alright. Everything looks good now. Your vitals are stable. The placenta is very vascular and unfortunately there was significant bleeding from where the placenta attached to your bowel that we hadn’t anticipated. It took us some time to get it under control before we could finish your surgery.
Dr. Frost looked over at Adam and frowned. “Adam, I’m sorry about yesterday. That was unfortunate but it’s best that family members not be present during that type of situation.
Tommy gave Adam a puzzled look. “What happened?”
Adam looked sheepish when he finally answered. “I tried to get back into the OR when I realized something was happening with you. And they wouldn’t let me. I kind of lost it for a minute.”
“That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one,” Dr. Frost chuckled. “It took everyone we had to keep him out.”
“I’m really sorry about that,” Adam assured her. “Is the paediatrician okay?”
Tommy glared at Adam wondering what the hell had happened.
Dr. Frost waved her hand dismissively. “He’s alright, just a bit of a bruised ego, is all. I spoke to him afterwards and he’s fine. The security guards are alright too.”
“I didn’t mean to knock anyone down; I just wanted to make sure Tommy was okay.”
“Don’t worry, Adam,” Dr. Frost told him. “It was understandable under the circumstances. You were worried. I’m sorry they had to put you in restraints.”
Tommy was wide-eyed; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, well maybe he could, knowing how Adam could sometimes get. “They had to restrain you?” he asked Adam incredulously.
Adam had the good grace to look embarrassed by the whole thing. “Well, they let me go once I’d calmed down.”
Dr. Frost laughed. “I must say it’s the first time I’ve performed surgery while it sounded like open warfare just outside my OR,” she smiled down at Tommy.
“You’re a lucky guy to have someone who cares about you so much.”
She turned back to her work and quickly read through the baby’s chart.
“Baby is doing really well. I’d thought he might need to be in intensive care for a few more hours, but he’s breathing beautifully by himself. We’ll stop monitoring him so closely probably tomorrow.”
Dr. Frost turned back to Tommy. “How are you feeling?”
“Sore,” he admitted.
“No doubt,” she agreed. Dr. Frost looked at Tommy thoughtfully. “The reason I’m asking is that I haven’t given you the methotrexate yet, the drug which will destroy what remains of the placenta. I’ve also been managing your pain conservatively.”
Tommy looked at her blankly and was about to ask why when she held up her hand, “that’s because I knew you’d want to wake up and see your baby as soon as possible.”
Tommy nodded; that was true. Dr. Frost continued with her explanation. “I also thought you might want to try feeding the baby yourself. You'll only have the one chance. Once you’ve had the methotrexate, it will no longer be an option.”
Tommy blinked at her. “Feed the baby?” He shook his head. “No, I can’t,” he told her quickly, feeling sudden abhorrence at the thought. “No.”
He turned to Adam who, judging by his expression seemed to be equally stunned; obviously breastfeeding wasn’t an option Adam had envisioned either. He looked slightly scandalized at the idea and Tommy couldn't help but smile at the expression on his face.
“That’s fine,” Dr. Frost told them both. “I just wanted to give you the option, seeing as this is never going to happen again. I could have one of the maternity nurses come and show you what to do if you’re interested. It’s something a lot of mothers find very rewarding.”
Tommy looked down at the baby in his arms and touched his cheek again. The baby moved his head, turning towards Tommy’s finger, opening his mouth silently. Other feelings suddenly joined the pain and revulsion in Tommy’s mind; protectiveness and love and nurturing, and a sudden inexplicable need to give his child everything he could. The nurturing won out.
Tommy’s eyes darting up at Adam and to Dr. Frost. “I’ve changed my mind,” he blurted out. “But I don’t want anyone else in the room except Adam, and the nurse to show me what to do at first, because I have no idea.”
Dr Frost smiled at them and then nodded. “Alright, I’ll go see if someone is free,” she said before she left the room.
Tommy put his hand on Adam’s. “You can’t ever tell anyone. Promise?”
“Can I tell baby, if he ever asks,” Adam replied, his hand gently touching the baby’s knitted cap while he rested on Tommy’s arm.
Tommy met Adam’s eyes and smiled. “Yeah, we can tell him, someday. I forgot there’s three of us now. Just not for a while.”
“There’s plenty of time,” Adam agreed.
Tommy thought a moment and then asked him,” did your mom bring up our camera?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it here now. Why?”
“I want some pictures too. Just a few. Just for the baby, for later. Just so he knows.”
“Okay,” Adam told him softly. “Are you sure?”
Tommy shook his head. “No, I’m not fucking sure, but right now I just want to take this as far as it goes.” He looked down at the baby in his arms. “What do I do?” he asked nervously. “I have no idea what to do.”
Adam’s blank expression demonstrated that he had no suggestions at all; clearly he was in unfamiliar territory. Tommy would have laughed if he’d not known how much it would hurt; he couldn’t remember ever seeing Adam quite so ill at ease.
A nurse who introduced herself a Rhonda came in and showed Tommy with an easy competence just how it was all done. She leaned down and pulled the baby’s blankets open further, so the cool air roused the tiny infant, and stroked his cheek.
“See, that’s all you need to do to wake them.” Rhonda took the baby gently from Tommy’s arms and said, “See if you can pull your gown up out of the way.”
The baby was beginning to cry, and Tommy pulled at his gown and found it opened up the front, presumably for feeding. His teeth gritted momentarily when it felt like someone stuck a hot skewer through his belly as he moved. His breasts were full and shiny in the bedside light, nipples dark and thick, and he looked up at her.
“What now?”
Rhonda placed the baby in Tommy’s arms and guided it onto its side, so its face was pressed against Tommy’s breast. Her hands were steady as she moved the baby’s head back a little, giving it room to breathe.
Tommy said, “Oh!” very suddenly when their baby opened his mouth wide and butted his head forward against Tommy, then his nipple disappeared into the baby’s mouth.
Tommy was exhilarated for a moment, then panicked, then exhilarated again. He had been unhappy about his breasts growing throughout the pregnancy, it had just seemed the final ignominy on top of all the other indignities he’d had to face, but there was suddenly a feeling of complete ‘rightness’ about their baby suckling there now.
When Tommy tore his eyes away from the way the baby’s jaw was moving and looked at Adam; there were tears streaming down his face.
Tommy thought he knew about intimacy, thought he knew about sharing his body with someone else, thought that maybe Adam had taken him to all the places there were to go, but there was a submission in giving their baby his breast that he had never felt before.
Adam leant forward across the baby to kiss Tommy’s cheek and Tommy’s face was wet with Adam’s tears when he pulled back.
Tommy said, “Jesus, Adam. I can feel it.” He could. The heat that he had come to know as a part of arousal was burning through both of his breasts too, spreading with inevitability through him until finally something let go and the baby began gulping.
“Fuck!” Tommy gasped, and he could hear the panic in his own voice.
“What? What’s wrong?” Adam asked immediately.
“Nothing,” Tommy admitted. “It just feels so weird, is all.”
“Like what?”
Tommy shook his head in bemusement. “It feels almost like sex.”
“It’s supposed to feel like that,” Rhonda reassured him, patting him on the shoulder. “I’ll leave you three alone now. You can come and get me if you need anything.”
“When should I take pictures?” Adam asked, quite fascinated with what Tommy was doing.
“Now, I guess.”
Tommy stared down at their son drinking. He heard the click, click, click of photos being taken and then finally the soft thud of Adam putting the camera down on the bedside table.
“I hope they turned out okay,” Adam said. “It would be better if Lee were doing them.”
Tommy just looked up and stared at him tiredly, “No fucking way.”
Sometime later Rhonda checked in on them and said “How about we swap sides now? Let me do this bit or you’ll hurt yourself.” Tommy nodded mutely, the whole process still bewildering him.
Rhonda slid her little finger into the side of the baby’s mouth and Tommy’s nipple popped out, strangely flattened now. “Wow,” was all Tommy could say.
Rhonda turned the baby over and settled it against Tommy’s other breast, and he attached himself to the breast smoothly. The baby’s suckling finally slowed and this time Adam popped the nipple out with his little finger, looked quite proud of his accomplishment.
“I’ll go tell Rhonda you’re done.”
“Okay.”
“Did all go well?” Rhonda asked as she came back in. Tommy nodded and she took the baby out of his arms. “I need to check his temperature and pulse. You’ll be able to hold him again later, I promise. Dr. Frost is still on the ward as well. She’ll be right in. She wants to see you once more.”
When Dr. Frost arrived she sat down at the bedside and smiled at Tommy. “How was feeding the baby?”
Tommy’s eyes went across the room to the crib. “Amazing. I’m really sore though.”
Dr. Frost smiled at him. “That’s to be expected. You’ve had major abdominal surgery. Now that you’ve met baby we can treat your pain more aggressively. You have a morphine pump attached so you have a little bit of control over your pain. The machine is set so there’s no possible way you can overdose yourself. I’ll probably let you stay on it for another twelve hours or so and then switch you to an oral narcotic. Right now the goal is to get your pain under enough control that you can get up and walk.”
She scribbled some notes on his chart and Tommy was relieved to hear he’d be able to control the pain medication somewhat. Now that he no longer had the baby to distract him he was aware of a dull but strong pain in his abdomen. Dr. Frost looked back up at him when she’d finished.
“Now that you’ve breastfed, I need to give you the methotrexate. It’s a toxin and will show up in your breast milk. You won’t be able to breast feed while you’re taking it but if you want to resume once I’ve cleared you, you may. If you’re committed you can express and dump in order to keep your supply going. If you choose not to, your breasts will disappear within a few weeks. What would you like to do, Tommy?”
Tommy looked at the baby again and shook his head. “I’m glad I tried it this once, just to find out what it was like, but in eight weeks I’m hoping I’ll be male again.”
Dr. Frost laughed. “You will be. I removed all the ovarian material, the fallopian tube and the vagina, and repaired the fistula. Once the methotrexate works on the placenta so that it’s no longer producing hormones , you’ll cross back over to male quite quickly, hopefully within six or eight weeks. Rose will be seeing you during that time to supervise everything, so she’ll be able to give you a closer idea of what’s happening. But I can tell you right now that anatomically you are male.”
Relief overwhelmed Tommy. He had been living in an alien body for the better part of a year and now he finally was getting his own back.
Dr. Frost squeezed his thigh. “Like that idea?” she asked and he nodded.
“I need to warn you, methotrexate is quite harsh to take. It might make you queasy and upset your bowels for the first few days though you won’t be going home from here until the worst of the side effects are over. You can’t have any receptive anal sex for a couple months, to let the fistula repair heal. I’ll also prescribe a drug to suppress milk production. Anything you want to ask?”
“Yeah, how exactly does this morphine pump work?”
Dr. Frost laughed again. “I’ll have the nurse come in and explain it to you, and tomorrow, when you don’t feel like somebody has just ripped your belly open and removed a baby and some organs, you can ask me some more questions.”
*******************************
The next morning Tommy felt much better. The morphine certainly helped. It was still painful to move around and getting up to the bathroom was agony. His abdomen felt strange, sore and flaccid, almost like all his insides might spill out like some kind of horror movie. He and his morphine pump were inseparable.
Tommy’s mom came up in the afternoon to visit and to relieve Adam so that he could go home for a shower, something he had to be forced to do. Tommy wanted him to go get some sleep, the lounger must have been hell to try to sleep on, but he’d stubbornly refused to consider the idea.
Tommy sat up in his bed while Dia sat in the lounger with the baby in her arms. It was her third grandchild but no less special than the others and perhaps, considering the circumstances, a little bit more.
She smiled up at Tommy. “I think he looks like Adam.”
“The hair though,” Tommy said doubtfully, thinking of Adam’s natural golden red.
“That’s just baby hair. It could change,” Dia assured him.
“What was mine like?”
Dia though a moment, “I think you were bald. Or was that Lisa?”
Tommy laughed although the movement made him like his guts were going to spill out. He was glad his mom was back. He’d missed her a lot and he knew how much she’d helped Lisa with her kids when they were babies. Somehow he knew he and Adam would need all the help they could get with the baby.
Dia turned to him and smiled, “You’re father would be so proud of you.”
The idea surprised Tommy a little. He and his dad had sometimes not been on the best of terms, particularly when Tommy had refused to go to college. His father had always wanted him to have a backup plan should a musical career not work out. Tommy wasn’t so sure that getting knocked up by his band mate and having a baby would be any more praiseworthy in his father’s eyes than his choice of career had been.
“I don’t know,” he said noncommittally.
His mother shook her head.
“Tommy, I know you and your dad didn’t always agree about things but he always loved you and wanted the best for you. I wished he’d had a chance to tell you himself, but before he died he told me how proud he was of you for sticking with your music. He was very happy he lived long enough to see you successful in your career. And he would have been even more proud to see you as a father.”
Tommy felt his throat tightening up, making it hard to speak. He wished his dad were around too. He wished Ron could have seen his only grandson.
Adam came back an hour or so later, freshly showered and looking much better in clothes he hadn’t slept in for two nights. Dia handed off the baby to Adam before she kissed Tommy goodbye, promising that Lisa would be up the next night to see them all.
Adam put the still sleeping baby down in his layette and then sat down beside the bed. “Monte and Lisa say congratulations,” he smiled. “The girls are going crazy. They want to see the baby as soon as they can. I think we’ve got babysitters for life.”
“That’s good.”
Adam picked up Tommy’s hand and kissed it. “How do you feel?”
“Pretty good,” he assured groggily. “This morphine is awesome.”
Adam laughed. “I might be sending you to rehab after all.”
Tommy smiled. “Feel better after having a shower?”
“Definitely.”
“Did you have something to eat?” Tommy wondered. He bet Adam hadn’t wanted to spare the time.
“Yeah,” he answered quickly.
Tommy looked at him appraisingly, wondering if it was worth calling him on it or not. Just then one of the care aids came in with his own dinner and sat it on the table beside his bed. Tommy could smell something surprisingly good and it made his stomach growl.
Adam slid the table across the bed so that Tommy’s food was within reach and uncovered his plate. It was some kind of thin soup but he didn’t care, he was hungry enough to eat anything. He grabbed his spoon and started eating, then stopped and looked at Adam.
“Do you want some?” he asked, not sure he wanted to share but feeling like he should at least offer.
Adam shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I’ll go down to the cafeteria.” He looked over at the layette. “I’ll try not to be too long in case he wakes up.”
Tommy just nodded, not wanting to speak with his mouth full and immediately shovelled in some more. He didn’t slow down until he’d eaten everything on his plate, drank his juice and eaten the tiny bit of jello they’d included. He put his head back and shut his eyes.
It seemed like only a few seconds before he heard the first whimper coming from the layette. Someone was waking up. Tommy winced, wishing he hadn’t sent Adam away to get something to eat. Shit, he’d have to get up and deal with things himself.
He grabbed his pillow, pressed it against his abdomen and gently slid his legs over the side of the bed. He pushed himself upright without using any of his stomach muscles and shuffled over to the mini fridge for the bottle of formula he knew was there and then to the layette. His hands shook a little when he picked up his baby but he managed to settle in the recliner without too much discomfort and when the baby took the bottle readily he felt an enormous sense of accomplishment.
When Adam got back from eating the baby was done as well. Tommy was still in the recliner with the baby in his arms and he looked up and smiled when Adam came in.
“Hey you’re back. I just fed him.”
“Yeah? And it went okay?”
“I guess so. He drank quite a bit.” Tommy looked back down at their son who’d quickly gone back to sleep. “I guess I should change him too, before I put him back.”
“I’ll do it,” Adam said immediately, leaning down to take the bundle from Tommy who instinctively held on a little tighter, reluctant to let Adam take him. He’d missed the whole first day after his surgery and he wanted to start taking care of his son now although having a tug of war over the small bundle probably wasn’t a good idea.
“I want to do it,” he told Adam insistantly.
Adam hesitated, “Okay, here I’ll just take him while you get up out of the chair. I’ll put him in the layette and then you can change him.”
Tommy joined Adam at the layette and gingerly got everything he needed for the operation ready while Adam hovered over his shoulder. When all was set he unwrapped their son and reached for a baby wipe.
“I like to get the next diaper ready first,” Adam suggested.
“Yeah, well I’m doing it this way,” Tommy told him.
Adam went quiet. Tommy wiped the baby off and then squeezed out some cream to spread on the baby before lifting him and sliding a diaper under his bottom.
“I usually use more of that cream.”
Tommy looked up and gave Adam a withering look. “I have done this before, you know.”
“Really?” Adam seemed surprised.
“Yeah, I’ve changed my sister’s kids,” Tommy told him a bit defensively. He didn’t know why that fact would be so shocking. He’d babysat for Lisa and some of his cousins over the years. Tommy fastened the diaper around the baby snugly before turning back to Adam.
“How many diapers have you changed before yesterday?” Tommy asked.
The side of Adam’s mouth twitched before he answered. Tommy knew where this was going. “None,” he admitted.
“Well then, let me do it, okay?” Tommy told him, not sure why he was so irritable.
“Okay. Sorry.” Adam held his hands up in surrender.
Tommy sighed, guilt over snapping at Adam hitting him in the chest. “It’s okay.” He surveyed the blanket that he’d taken off the baby to change him. He wasn’t at all sure how that went back on. As a peace offering for being so pissy he asked Adam, “Can you wrap him back up? I’ve never done that part before.”
Adam smiled. “Sure. I’ll show you how they said to do it.”
Once their baby was bundled up again and sleeping soundly Adam helped Tommy back into bed and then sat down in his chair. He rested his head down on the side of the mattress and Tommy put his hand on his head, running his fingers through his thick hair.
“Tired?” Tommy asked him.
“Ummmm,” he heard Adam mumble, his face buried in the bedding.
Tommy gingerly shifted himself over to the far side of the bed so there was room for two, not that there was a lot, but he didn’t want Adam to have to spend another night in the chair. Tommy rested his hand on Adam’s shoulder and shook him gently.
“Hey, Babyboy, climb in.”
Adam looked up blearily. “I’m too big. I won’t fit.”
“Yeah, you will. Come on; just take it slow so you don’t shake up my insides.”
Adam paused for a moment, obviously thinking and then toed off his shoes before lifting up the covers and sliding cautiously in with Tommy. Adam settled the covers around the two of them and ever so gently slid closer so that he could settle in comfortably with his head rested on Tommy’s shoulder.
Tommy put his hand on Adam’s neck and stoked the soft, warm skin he felt there.
“Hey,” Tommy said after a couple minutes, “I was thinking. I’d like to name the baby after my dad. Not his first name, that would be weird, but maybe the middle name. And name him after someone in your family too. I was thinking of Austin Neil Ronald Ratliff.”
He paused to see what Adam had to say on the matter; they’d not discussed names in months for obvious reasons. Tommy wasn’t even sure that Adam wouldn’t object to Ratliff as a last name, although fuck that. Tommy braced himself for opposition, determined to argue his case if need be. Instead Adam just looked up wearily and shook his head.
“After everything you’ve been through, baby, you can name him whatever the fuck you want.”
He put his head back down and promptly fell asleep. Tommy lay awake a few minutes longer, idly stroking Adam’s neck, listening to his soft breathing as he slept. They’d have to talk about the name again later, when Adam wasn’t so tired, although it had been kind of nice to have him give in without a fight for a change.