Fic: Pay Phone (1/10)

[firesign10]

Title: Pay Phone
Author: firesign10
Beta: pipisafoat
Pairing(s): J2 (Jared/Jensen)
Word Count: 44,270 total / 4400 this part
Genre: SPN RPS, non-AU
Rating: R for language and subject matter
Warnings: M/M sex, angst
Spoiler(s): Season 1 through the end of Season 5
Disclaimer: It's all fiction: Jensen, Jared, and all other parties belong to themselves; none of this happened in real life; I have an overactive imagination. Supernatural is a property of the CW and does not in any way belong to me. Lyrics at the beginning of the story are from the song, "Pay Phone" by Maroon 5, and do not in any way belong to me.

Summary: Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles first meet as co-stars on a new tv show, Supernatural. Co-stars become best friends . . . until their relationship changes one summer, as they vacation together at the Outer Banks in North Carolina. It's idyllic there . . . but what about the rest of the world? Jensen and Jared find that they have very different ideas about life and love. Can they make it work in Vancouver and California? Will their relationship grow in the public eye, or wither in the closet? And how long can true love last?

Also featuring Genevieve Cortese; Jim Beaver; Donna and Alan Ackles; Ellen DeGeneres. Mentioned: Sandy McCoy; Misha Collins; Eric Kripke. Dan Spilo, various actors

Masterpost

I'm at a payphone trying to call home
All of my change I spent on you
Where have the times gone, baby it's all wrong
Where are the plans we made for two?

I've wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I'm paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called it love,
But even the sun sets in paradise

The pay phone stood off to one side of the gas station, its chrome winking in the sun. It still looked to be in decent shape - nothing appeared broken or missing. “Christ,” Jensen thought. “I didn't think there were any pay phones even left anywhere. Probably doesn't work - fucking derelict piece of crap. This whole fucking pit stop looks godforsaken.” The single road running through the New Mexico desert sported the dusty gas station, a faded-looking diner, and a little further up, Jensen could see a beat-up motel.

Jensen ran his arm over his forehead to wipe off some of the sweat and dirt. He wanted a cool shower. He wanted a cold beer. He wanted to get the fuck outta here, maybe find some air conditioning. A breath of cool air to calm his heated brain and his chaotic emotions, emotions he thought he'd sealed off in a vault years ago. That vault had been breached recently, and a maelstrom of feelings was unleashed - hurt, anger, passion, longing - love. His heart and head were aching with the onslaught, and the dusty, desert heat wasn't helping things.

Fuck it, Jensen thought. Fuck the whole damn ball of wax, and then leave it there in the road. Emotional roadkill. He half-laughed, half-snorted, and damn if he didn't look to the side to share the humor with Jared. Fucking Jared, after all this time yet.

Fucking, asshole Jared. Jensen's laughter died and tears sprang up instead.

Funny, beautiful Jared. Six barren years with no Jared, and then he'd appeared in front of Jensen, as large and gorgeous as ever. That happened a few days ago, and Jensen was still reeling, Jared's presence serving as a catalyst for crap Jensen thought long buried. Apparently not.

He could still picture Jared every bit as clearly. Picture him, hell - hear him, smell him, taste him. Like no one else. Larger than life.

Time hadn't really changed anything. Jensen had just gotten better at pretending and hiding. But when all the pretending and hiding was done?

He still wanted Jared.




In the beginning, there was a pilot being cast for a show about two brothers. Their life revolved around traveling the country, fighting evil in all its infinite forms. Hunting urban legends, saving innocent people. Out of a host of other actors, two attractive, but still down-to-earth, young men survived the various rounds of casting calls. The time came for them to meet and read together, the final test for the roles of the brothers Winchester.

“Hello, boys! You two introduce yourselves yet?” asked the casting assistant.

Two heads - one tousled dark blonde and one shaggy dark brown - shook simultaneously. They'd heard each others name in previous meetings and phone calls, and they'd both Googled the other for a little background and an advance peek. Sitting in the anteroom, though, nerves set in and neither could bring themselves to make the first move. Now the ice was broken, so brief smiles flitted across handsome faces while long legs untangled from too-low chairs.

“Well, here ya go then! Jensen Ackles, meet Jared Padalecki. Jared, Jensen. We're still looking at you, Jensen, for the older brother, Dean Winchester, and then you, Jared, for Dean's younger brother, Sam. Jared, Jensen comes to us from Dark Angel and Smallville. Jensen, Jared's been working on Gilmore Girls for a few years. You guys can exchange any other niceties after the read, mmkay? You've both given us great reads for these characters already, but now we need to see you read together before we make the final decision. Y'all are supposed to be brothers, and the show is gonna rest on your shoulders, so it's crucial we get a sense of the chemistry between you. Jensen, if this goes into pilot, you're gonna have to cut that hair - Dean wears a quasi-military cut, okay? Make this count now, boys - it's for all the marbles!”

Eyes with an exotic mix of blue/green/brown met a bright green pair, as firm handshakes were exchanged. As palm pressed palm, wide smiles broke out. The read, of course, went swimmingly. No one ever looked back as far as casting the Winchester boys went.




Jared was emotionally raw after the crushing end of his engagement to Sandy. Several years of a loving relationship were reduced to ashes within a few days. Sandy was gone, heading back to L.A immediately after the final fight, and Jared was deeply depressed. Jensen completely understood Jared's devastation. He'd watched Jared and Sandy's relationship grow during the first couple seasons of Supernatural. She came up to Vancouver from time to time, and more frequently Jared flew back to L.A. on weekends. They'd taken trips together, the last one during the season three winter break to Paris, culminating in Jared's proposal. He'd come home bouncy and happy, burbling about how wonderful/beautiful/amazing Sandy was. But it seemed that the presentation of the ring cast a shadow on the couple, as little fights began to break out and minor disagreements became long-distance arguments. Jared's smiles faded, replaced by a sad expression and hushed, tense phone calls. Sandy came up to Vancouver one last time, ostensibly to try and work things out between them. Instead, stilted conversational exchanges were punctuated by ugly flare-ups on both sides. Sandy finally snapped one last time, telling Jared it was over. She'd left for the airport within the hour, leaving behind a shell-shocked ex-fiancé.

Now Jensen was doing his best to be the supportive best friend: staying over at Jared's place for late night beers and mindless rounds of video gaming; making sure Jared consumed more than just junk food and beer; listening to Jared's tales of woe at any hour of the day or night. Jensen felt for Jared - the guy was a big puppy dog, how could someone kick him like this?

Hidden inside, though, Jensen thought that Jared might have dodged a bullet. Sandy was sweet and lovely and funny, but she wasn't . . . enough for Jared. If she had been, wouldn't they have been able to make it work? Jared was such a great guy, he deserved . . . something more. Someone more. Someone a little deeper, a little less emotionally constricted, a little more . . . exceptional. Jared's heart and nature were as large as his frame, and he needed someone who could match that. Jensen didn't know who or what that was going to be, but he knew it wasn't Sandy. For now, Jensen just wanted Jared's heart to scab over and his life to resume its normal pace. Jared needed to heal, and Jensen was going to do all he could to insure that that happened. Jared deserved no less.




Jared climbed into Jensen's trailer and flopped down on the couch, dabbing at his nose with a paper towel.

“Fucking demons! I hate sucking them out of humans! Shoving that blood capsule up my nose is a bitch!”

Jensen laughed and smacked the back of Jared's shaggy head.

“That's what you get for being tainted with demon blood, bro!” He handed Jared a beer, thinking how good it was to see Jared enjoying work again. They were a quarter of the way into season four, and it had taken several weeks for Jared to start perking up again. Then his natural exuberance kicked back in and he was bouncing around, cracking jokes and manhandling everyone as always.

“So, Jen, there's something I wanna ask you,” Jared said slowly. He was fiddling with his beer bottle label as he sat back on the couch. Jensen waited quietly, but Jared seemed to be having a hard time continuing.

“Sure, Jay, anything. Whatcha need?” Jensen finally said, hoping to help Jared get unstuck.

“It's my trip,” Jared finally said. “I had those reservations to Hawaii during last hiatus - Sandy and I were gonna go, spend some 'quality couple-time' together, ya know?” Jensen could hear the air quotes without even looking over. “Well, I was going to cancel them, but then I thought 'Damn! I still wanna go somewhere!' Plus if I just took rainchecks instead of canceling, I wouldn't lose the money from the original reservations. So I was wondering, Jen - what do you think about coming with me on a little vacay? You can even pick the destination; I just want a beach, beer, and a chance to relax. What do you say, bro?” He turned to face Jensen, exerting the full force of the Padalecki puppy eyes.

Jensen was surprised at the invitation. He remembered Jared making the original reservations, but he hadn't thought of it at all since the break-up. His main concern, besides his job of being Dean, had been Jared's health, and returning him to the happy, goofy young man that Jensen knew so well. He hadn't given any thought to anything past the next few episodes, much less as far ahead as hiatus. Now that he'd been presented with the idea, he had to admit it sounded appealing. They were always so busy and tired during the filming season, but they had so much fun together in the midst of all the work. Spending a couple of weeks hanging out together in some location far from Vancouver's rain and mists sounded terrific.

“Wow, Jay, that's … that's an amazing offer! You sure you want to go on vacation with me and not some cute production assistant or something?” Jensen winked at Jared.

Jared scoffed. “Some airhead with tits or my best friend - yeah, I think I'm choosing you, dude. Besides … don't think I missed how you were taking care of me there. I know I was kind of a wreck for a while, and you were the best friend anyone could have asked for. I can't thank you enough, Jen, you really went above and beyond. I think the least I could do to say thanks is take you on a fucking trip, yeah?” Jared grinned at Jensen, who grinned back and threw some chips at him. “We can go next hiatus, I have flexibility on the travel dates. What do you say, man? You in?”

“Sure, man, I'm in! I'd love to go with you! I think I have a great idea for where we can go, too.” Jensen had immediately thought about taking Jared to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. Jensen had visited there when he was filming Dawson's Creek, and he'd loved the quiet area and the beautiful, tempestuous Atlantic. He thought the combination of peacefulness and low-key activity would be a great mix for them to decompress together.

Jensen told Jared about his idea, describing the beauty and undeveloped charm of the area. Jared was on board immediately, wanting a break from flashier vacation spots or Los Angeles. They laughed together, moods already rising at the thought of beach time fun and relaxation. There would be time to just hang out together, without doing crazy stunts, fighting fake monsters, racing tight deadlines, and suffering with bad weather. Swimming in the ocean, exploring the barrier island, hanging out and checking out hot chicks on the beach - they can't wait.

And if Jensen felt particularly happy about the trip being just for the two of them, well . . . he simply attributed it to his joy that Jared was feeling so much better.




“Jared! You and Sandy just broke up a few months ago! What are you talking about, you're seeing Genevieve now? You hardly know the girl! What the fuck, man!” Jensen knew he was a little more worked up than he should be, but it just didn't make sense to him. Jared had loved Sandy for a long time, had practically gone into mourning at their break-up, and now - it was just a few months later, and he was after some slutty little guest star? Was it just a thing he had for petite brunettes? Or had there just been too many Sam and Ruby scenes?

“Fuck off, Jensen!” Jared snapped back at him. “So I haven't known her that long, so what! I'm not marrying her, I just wanna go out with her. She's fun and smart and feisty, and she's pretty hot, too! What's the big fucking deal? What the hell does it even matter to you?”

Jensen groaned. Genevieve was fine, as guest star chicks went, but this had to be a rebound. He'd wanted Jared to feel better, to have fun again, but now Jared was chasing after this … this Sandy-clone? Jensen couldn't help worrying that Jared just didn't know what he was doing. And what was going to happen with their trip to North Carolina? Was he going to want to take Genevieve instead? Jensen resolutely shunted his inappropriate vacation concerns to one side and re-focused on the matter at hand.

“Seriously, Jensen, Genevieve is a nice girl. I don't know what your problem with her is. I wanna date again, dude. I wanna get laid again. So what the hell is up with all of this outrage? You're really losing your shit here! You'd think you were the one who got dumped! Or else you'd think you were . . .” Jared stopped dead, staring at Jensen, stricken.

The word hung in the air between them.

“Were what, Jared? Jealous? You think I'm jealous? Dude, FUCK that - you know I can go out and get any girl I'm interested in, and I'm not just being an egotistical bastard saying that.”

“No, Jen. Not jealous that I've got a girl. Jealous ... OF the girl. Jealous of the girl that I'm going out with. The girl I'm looking to have sex with. You're jealous of her being with me, spending time with me. Is that it, Jensen? Is that what's going on here? 'Cause that seems to be what's makes sense here, except that it doesn't.” Jared stared at Jensen, arms crossed as he tried to figure out Jensen's angry reaction to the news that Jared was dating Genevieve. Jealousy was the only logical conclusion, but Jensen wasn't gay. Jared was hurt and confused by Jensen's angry outburst.

Jensen felt like he'd been stabbed. Oh, fuck. What was Jared saying? What kind of horseshit was this? And … oh god, oh fuck, why did it seem to make sense?? What gear just turned deep inside him, dropping a fat, fucking penny with Jensen's feelings engraved all over it? With a shock that was practically an electric jolt to his brain, Jensen realized that he had carefully been turning a blind eye to his deeper feelings for Jared, and had done so for some time now. Oh, they said it all the time: Yeah, Jay, love ya, man. Love ya, Jen. Telling the world, yeah, we're the best of bros, we've got each other's backs. But … could it be more than that? Was he actually jealous? Did he really feel more for Jared than friendship and respect, and was he truly envious of Genevieve's and Jared's looming intimacy?

Jensen felt sick with the weight of unresolved thoughts roiling inside him. Moving very carefully and deliberately, he got up, made his way to the trailer door, and left. He could barely feel the steps beneath his feet or the railing under his hand as he exited the trailer. He thought he heard the blur of Jared's voice apologizing behind him, but he couldn't really focus on the words. Jensen just knew he had to get out of that trailer and far away. Immediately. Before he said or did something he'd regret. Something he couldn't even admit to himself.




The dating dust-up blew over quickly - working together as the only leads in an hour-long show didn't leave a lot of space for avoiding one's co-star. They were in each other's faces all day and half the night, filming Sam and Dean versus the monsters and the demons. Jensen resolutely buried any questionable feelings he might have about Jared, without any further analysis on his own part. He simply concentrated on being the hunter, womanizer, and hard-drinking character that was Dean. Jared appeared to follow his lead, sinking himself into Sam and his slow slide into demon blood addiction, and soon the irrepressible camaraderie re-established itself. Even Genevieve's almost constant presence on set as Ruby, intertwining herself with Sam, didn't faze Jensen. He was able to smile at her, chat with her, and leave the anger Dean had for Ruby behind on the set floor. Jared relaxed even more, smiling warmly at Jensen and clearly grateful that they had moved past the fight.

Jared and Genevieve had been dating for a few weeks when Jared came into Jensen's trailer, bloody of course. Jensen threw a towel at Jared and gestured to the water bottles standing on the table. Jared wiped his face and snagged a water bottle, taking a couple of long gulps before attempting to talk.

"So, thought I'd let ya know that you were right. Well, half-right." Jared said, before guzzling more water.

"Right? What was I right about? And do I get a prize?" Jensen retorted, laughing as Jared threw the now-bloody and make-up smeared towel back at him.

"Me and Gen. She's a great gal, and we've had some good times, don't get me wrong. She likes a lot of different things, and she's a big reader, and we hit it off great in bed." Jensen rolled his eyes. "Hahaha! Seriously, dude, she's a lot of fun. But we talked about it last night, and we agreed we're better as friends. There just isn't that . . . spark, that magic, you know what I mean? And we thought, better re-adjust now than try to fake it and end up hating each other. So . . . you were right. Maybe it's still too soon, or maybe she just isn't the one, but whatever the reason, she and I are just friends now." Jared looked down at his hands, restless on Sam's jeans, and then looked back up at Jensen. "I owe you an apology, Jen. I said some uncalled for things to you, and I'm sorry. I know you only ever want the best for me, man, and calling you out for being jealous? Well . . . it was wrong, and I'm sorry."

Jensen ducked his head, feeling small as Jared apologized so graciously. He cleared his throat and looked at Jared, sitting there on Jensen's couch and looking regretful. Jensen got up and came to sit next to Jared, putting his arm around Jared's shoulders. "Hey, man, don't worry about it. I was outta line saying those things, and you had every right to be pissed. It's your choice, it's your life, and I'll be there no matter what goes down, okay? All I want is to hang out by your side and be your friend. That's it, Jare, that's it."

Jared's face was beaming. "Done deal! Thanks, Jensen, I know you only have my best interests at heart. I love you, man." And Jared threw his arms around Jensen, practically knocking him off the couch, but then saving him by the tightness of the embrace.

Jensen hugged him back, happy to be square with Jared again, but cursing his body's reaction to Jared's close, tight contact. His pulse was faster, his cock was chubbing, and he felt super-sensitized all over. He gritted his teeth, willing his body to settle down and trying not to notice how good Jared smelled. It didn't work very well.




They hurtled toward hiatus, the episodes flying by in a blur of demons, angels, and guest stars. Sam got lucky with a demon, and Dean got lucky with an angel. Together, Sam and Dean fought evil and each other, finally uniting at the finale as Sam killed Lilith and unexpectedly freed Lucifer. It was a huge emotional build-up, with a knock-down fight between the brothers in the second to last episode, and then Dean's desperate - and ultimately futile - chase to stop Sam. Jensen and Jared finished up the finale and hit the wrap party, celebrating a good year's work with a fantastic cast and crew. Finally it was time to pack, board the plane, and head off to enjoy some downtime over on the East Coast.

Both men took deep breaths of relief after takeoff, finally relaxing from the last-minute packing rush and then getting through the TSA screening. As the plane flew out over the Northwest heading east, vacation excitement succumbed to post-filming fatigue. Jensen and Jared both napped for a few hours, bodies fully relaxing for the first time in weeks. Even the plushy first class seats, though, eventually became uncomfortable for 6 foot plus bodies. Jared stirred first, stretching as he could in within the confines of the seat and guzzling from the water bottle in his armrest. He turned to Jensen, still slumbering, and smiled at the tousled hair of his co-traveler. Jared studied Jensen's thick lashes, the slight curve to his nose, and the myriad caramel freckles scattered generously across his face. This face had looked at Jared with a thousand different expressions - joy, horror, fear, mischief, drunken hilarity, even grief. Between Dean and Jensen himself, Jared had thought he'd seen them all. But now . . . Jared faced the fact that there were new expressions he wanted to see, new responses he hoped to evoke. Tenderness. Passion. Love - not for a co-worker or a friend or a brother, but for a lover.

Jared shivered. His feelings for Jensen had been growing throughout the season, the lighthearted hooking up with Genevieve notwithstanding. In fact, Gen had helped Jared realize that his feelings for Jensen were more than brotherly. Jared and Gen had had a good time together, and they had enjoyed some very satisfactory sex, but it was clear early on that this relationship wasn't going to go anywhere serious. Jared had felt that there must be something wrong with him for not having stronger feelings for Gen, but she was a canny observer. It was Gen who gently suggested to him what might be going on. She deduced that Jared was falling for his co-star, and in fact those feelings had played a part in the break-up with Sandy. That had been a bit of a revelation for him, but the puzzle piece fit right in.

Once accepted, it was an exciting idea to contemplate - the possibility of moving into a deeper, more romantic relationship with Jensen. It was scary as hell, too. Such a prize to be won, the two of them being together, but so much at risk if it didn't turn out as he hoped. The question was . . . would he have the courage to tell Jensen how he felt during this vacation?

Perhaps Jensen felt Jared's scrutiny, for his eyes opened then, blearily focusing on Jared.

“Hey,” Jensen mumbled. “You been awake long? What the fuck you staring at me for?”

“'Cause you're gorgeous,” Jared replied with a smile. “Just about the best looking thing I ever saw.” He laid his hand over Jensen's rubbing his thumb across Jensen's wrist. “Jen, I can't believe we're actually doing this! Wanted to for so long, and now here we are!”

Jensen smiled, the feeling of Jared's hand on his and the wonder in Jared's voice sending little thrills throughout Jensen's body.

“I know, Jay. It's pretty great, huh? Just wait until we're actually there!”

They gazed at each other, talking quietly until the flight attendant came through, serving beverages and checking on their meal orders. The rest of the flight passed calmly, with food, some light reading, and the in-flight movie (which they thoroughly heckled together in whispers), and several completely accidental brushes of arms and knees. Completely. Simply because of the close quarters. That's all.

They landed at Norfolk, with the requisite giggles from Jared over the pronunciation of the airport and town. Jensen rolled his eyes and guided his giddy travel partner to baggage claim. Next stop was the rental car, since the Outer Banks were a good three hours from the airport. They picked up a Range Rover, and once it was filled with their bags and themselves, Jensen took the wheel and headed onto Route 13.

Jared stared out of the window, finding all the lush greenery relaxing. Signs popped up here and there for various tourist traps or trailer parks. He was curious why it didn't look beachy at all though, so he asked Jensen about it.

"Hey, I thought we're going down the coast to Cape Hatteras, but this looks like farmland. Where's the ocean, man?"

Jensen smiled as he sped down the 2-lane highway. "It's out there - we're just too far inland still to see it. The first hour is like this, but then we'll get to the real start of the coastline, and it's ocean all the way after that. First up will be Kill Devil Hills. We can stop there for a break, if you want, or we can just keep going and visit it another day."

"Let's keep going for now. I just wanna GET THERE, ya know? But I'd love to check it out later. Isn't that where the Wright Brothers did all their flight stuff?"

"Yep, sure was. There's also Jockey Ridge, which is the largest sand dune in the U.S. I'm with you, though, let's get to Hatteras now and explore other stuff later!"

They smiled at each other, excitement for their beach vacation surging through them. This was gonna be AWESOME!!

Part 2