A Little Foolishness and a Lot of Curiousity 6/8
Master Post
Chapter Six
"Seriously, Kris," Adam said, pulling the blanket off the bed and tossing it on the floor behind him. "You need to get up. You're going to be late for class."
Kris mumbled something into his pillow and turned his back on a grinning Adam. Adam knew he was being somewhat cruel this morning, by not making any attempt to be quiet and forcing Kris out of bed. They had their first two classes together and he could easily just make up an excuse for their teachers as to why Kris was late so that he could sleep a little longer but that wasn't going to happen. Thanks to Kris' drunken confession, Adam had gotten very little sleep himself and wasn't feeling that charitable. "I didn't understand a word you said, and class is in forty five minutes."
Kris rolled onto his back and glared up at Adam before the pain from trying to focus forced his eyes closed again. "I said, I hate you."
"No you don't."
"No, I don't." Kris sighed and sat up slowly. As he fought back a wave of nausea he was pretty sure he did in fact hate Adam right now. "You could just tell Mr. Cavelle that I'm sick or something."
"I could," Adam agreed, still smiling at Kris in that way that made Kris want to punch him. "But then you wouldn't learn a very important lesson."
Kris had started moving while Adam was talking and was heading toward the bathroom to get dressed. "You really think I’m going to miss something that important by missing one day of history class?"
"Not in class," Adam said as Kris pushed the door mostly closed between them. "You won't learn the important lesson of not getting drunk when you know you have to be up early in the morning."
The door swung open again to reveal Kris standing there once again, glaring at Adam. "I really, really hate you." The door slammed closed, shutting Adam off from the lovely view he'd had of his half dressed roommate.
"That's not what you said last night!" Adam shouted through the door.
Kris' eyes widened as the words filtered through his mind. Had Adam actually heard him last night? He'd been sure Adam had been sleeping. If he'd heard though, why didn't he say anything? Was he not interested and was he just going to assume Kris wouldn't remember? Did he think it was all a joke? What am I supposed to do now? Maybe he could just stay in here forever. Adam would eventually leave for class, right? He wouldn't risk being late just to wait for Kris. Or maybe he could play off Adam's comment as a joke. It could be a joke after all. Just one of those things that he was taking much more seriously than it was intended.
Adam started to panic when there was no immediate comeback. He shouldn’t have said that. He hadn't intended to say it, it just slipped out. He considered apologizing and claiming it was a bad joke but then decided to just wait and see what Kris did with the information. Then ten minutes passed and the door didn't open again. They really were going to be late if Kris didn't get out here.
"Kris?" Adam said, knocking on the door.
"I think I just want to die in here alone, okay?" Kris responded after a few seconds. "Just go on to class."
"It's a hangover," Adam sighed. Really, even he considered this to be a bit melodramatic. "You'll be fine. I've got some aspirin out here for you."
Kris swung the door open and looked at Adam. He was standing at the door, concern evident in his eyes. He really needed to do this. "We really do need to talk. Or I do, anyway. I was serious about that last night. I wasn't that drunk."
"Yeah we do," Adam admitted. "But we can't now. We'll be late."
Kris glanced at the clock and frowned. They had less than five minutes to make it to class. "After classes?"
"I've got rehearsals," Adam frowned. "After dinner?"
"Yeah, okay," Kris agreed. He wasn't sure he was ready for this but he needed to do something. He wasn't going to become an alcoholic just so he could have the chance to be affectionate with someone he liked. "After dinner."
~~**~~
Kris grabbed a sandwich from the cafeteria and headed back to his room. He needed time to think about what he was going to say to Adam. Or possibly time to come up with a way out of talking to him. He really didn't know how he was going to do this. Was it always this hard when you liked someone? He didn't think it was but then he'd never really had to do this before. Katy was different.
He pushed the door closed as he walked into the room and dropped his book bag. He should probably eat quickly and work on his homework because chances were that he and Adam would not get to it later. He fully expected tonight to end in some huge fight that would result in him having a new roommate before the weekend was over. Maybe he could do his work quickly and be asleep before Adam got back from dinner. He was just reaching for his bag when his phone rang. He glanced at the display and frowned. It was Katy.
"Hey," he said, pressing the connect button and speaking into it. "I didn't expect to hear from you today."
"Well, I thought that if you talked to Adam you might need a friend," Katy explained. "At least I assume you haven't told Cale or Charles or any of the other boys yet."
"No, haven't told anyone anything yet," Kris said hesitantly.
"You told Adam though, right?" Kris could hear the doubt in her voice. She really did know him too well.
"Not exactly, no."
"Oh Kris! What do you mean not exactly?"
Kris frowned. How was he supposed to explain all of this to her? "I told him last night, but he was asleep. At least I think he was."
"That really doesn't count," Katy said. Kris could hear the exasperation in her voice.
"I know, but I wanted to tell him before he went to sleep and he wouldn't talk to me. He said he wasn't having a conversation with me last night."
"Why not?"
"I was kind of drunk," Kris mumbled. "But I wasn't that drunk and it would've been so much easier than it is now. I do want to tell him, Katy. I really do, but what if he isn't interested? What if he's angry? Or hates me? Or I don't know, thinks I'm making fun of him or something? I don't think I can do this big coming out thing and risk losing all my friends, only to have Adam not feel the same."
Kris waited for Katy to say something. He knew she was still there, just sometimes she was quiet while she figured out exactly how to word whatever she wanted to say. He assumed this was one of those times.
"You know he's interested, Kris. He's pretty much told you that," she finally said slowly. "I think this is all about you. You're afraid to admit you like a boy, and you need to get over it."
"That's not true," Kris argued. "I've admitted it. You know and-"
"Does Cale know? Charles?"
"Well, no but…"
"You're afraid of how people will react and you need to get past that. I’m not saying to tell your friends tomorrow or anything. But you do need to tell Adam tonight. The absolute worst that can happen is that his crush isn't that serious. It doesn't have to ruin anything. You didn't freak out over his admission so why assume he'll do it to you?"
"Fine, I'll talk to him tonight, okay?" he finally relented. "I won't chicken out and pretend to be asleep before he gets back."
"Were you really going to do that?" She sounded somewhere between amused and disgusted.
"I considered it," he admitted. "I do have to go now though because I need to get my homework done before he gets back."
"Call me tomorrow," she said. "I want to know how it goes."
Kris agreed and they said their goodbyes and he turned his attention back to his homework.
~~**~~
"So, are you and Kris-?" Matt waved his hands in the air and raised an eyebrow.
"No," Adam answered quickly. "Absolutely not. Kris is straight."
"If you say so," Josh answered as he pushed his plate away. "He was certainly all over you again last night for a straight boy."
"It was just because he was drunk. He's just more…" Adam hesitated, trying to find the right word. Problem was, any word he chose was a lie and he knew it. Kris hadn't behaved at all like a straight guy last night or that night at the bar. If what Kris had said last night held any truth at all, it was just further proof that what he was saying now was a lie. As much as Adam wanted and needed to talk about this with someone, he didn't have the right to out Kris. Especially when he still wasn't one hundred percent sure what was going on himself. "He's just more affectionate when he drinks."
"He wasn't all over Cale or Charles and he's known them forever," Matt pointed out.
Adam pushed his tray away. "Just let it go, okay? We're not dating. Until Kris says otherwise he's straight and therefore off limits."
"But you like him?" Josh asked, eyes narrowing.
"Hell yes." Adam sighed. "Of course I like him. He's cute, funny, smart. We like a lot of the same music and movies and he's perfect for me."
"You've got it so bad," Matt said grinning. "It's really too bad he's straight."
"It really is," Josh agreed. "Although I still don't think he's as straight as you say he is."
"I've gotta go," Adam said. He wasn't necessarily in a hurry to get back to his conversation with Kris but he was in a hurry to get away from this one. He grabbed his bag, swung it over his shoulder, dumped his tray in the trash, and headed back to his room. His phone beeped with a text message so he flipped it open and frowned.
Did he admit he's not so straight yet?
He couldn't deal with Brad right now. He had enough on his plate without his well meaning but intrusive ex butting in. He sighed and shut off his phone. It was the only way he'd get through tonight without a barrage of texts. Brad didn't give up easily. He stuck his phone back in his pocket as he reached the door to his room. He took a deep breath and pushed it open.
"Hey," Kris said, looking up from the book he was reading. "You're back early."
"And you never came to dinner at all," Adam pointed out. He crossed the room and dumped his bag next to his bed.
"I had some homework to finish up so I just grabbed a sandwich to eat in here."
"You said we needed to talk," Adam said, sitting on the edge of his own bed, facing Kris.
Kris closed his book and swung his legs around so he was facing Adam. So much for him not remembering that they were going to do this tonight. He still wasn't sure how to say it at all. It wasn't like he'd ever done this before. Not just with a guy, but with anyone. Not even Katy. They'd never really talked about it, they were just suddenly a couple. "You remembered that, huh?"
"Yes, and after how insistent you were last night you don't get to back out," Adam insisted. Kris was going to have to do this now. Adam couldn't deal with anymore drunken cuddling or confessions.
"I know, and I don't want to get out of it," Kris lied. "I just-I don't know what I want to say exactly."
Kris knew that didn't make a lot of sense to Adam. It didn't make a lot of sense to him either. But it was the truth. He had no idea what to say. He still wasn't completely sure of any of it himself. He liked Adam, definitely more than as a friend. He was attracted to him. But he'd always been straight, or assumed he was anyway. Obviously that was debatable at the moment. "Can I ask you a question first?" he finally blurted out.
Adam frowned. He'd been prepared for many things tonight. Kris to repeat his admission from last night, for one. Kris to deny everything he'd said last night and claim it was drunken idiocy for another. He'd even been prepared for Kris to have some sort of delayed freak out over Adam's own admitted crush. He had not even considered this would become a round of questions for him to answer, just various possibilities of him finally getting answers. So, he responded with barely concealed frustration, "Umm, yeah, okay."
"How did you-Why did you-When did you know you were gay?"
Adam wasn't sure how to answer that, but he was also pretty sure a lot was riding on his answer right now. Kris was obviously trying to figure things out for himself and he was looking to Adam for answers. Answers Adam wasn't sure he had. "I just, part of me always knew, I guess. At least knew I was different. Even before I really knew why."
Kris was silent for a few minutes. He knew Adam was giving him the best answer he had. Adam had told him before that he hadn't really had some big revelation about it that it just was. Problem was that answer wasn't helping him at all. He had never felt different from the other boys. He'd always fit in and been exactly what everyone expected him to be. "Okay, but what happened that made you know why you felt different?"
"Kris, what are you--?"
"Adam, please just, I need you to tell me," Kris said softly.
"What made me understand why I was different?" Adam repeated the question, mostly to himself trying to figure out the answer to that. He'd never really thought about it before, but there must have been some defining moment for him. Finally he answered, "Brad. I met Brad."
"So it was meeting that one guy that made you know for sure?" Kris felt relief wash over him. Adam hadn't really known either until he met someone.
"Yes and no." Adam flopped back onto the bed. He wasn't good at explaining these things at all. "I knew before then that I wasn't really interested in girls. I guess I never thought a lot about it though, just assumed, like everyone else, that I was too busy, too wrapped up in theatre and music to be into dating yet. But then I met Brad and suddenly I wasn't too wrapped up in that stuff to think about dating and kissing and…yeah, I guess it took meeting him to make me realize I was gay."
"So it's possible that someone could be dating girls and think they're straight until they meet that guy that makes them realize that everything else was just...wrong?" Kris asked.
Now they were getting somewhere, Adam thought. Kris was starting to at least hint at what they'd been dancing around since school had started. "Yeah, that's definitely possible."
Kris let out the breath he'd been holding. Now he just needed to tell Adam the rest. It had been easy so far, and he'd just ignore that voice in his head telling him that it was easy because Adam had been the only one admitting anything.
"I think I need to tell you why I broke up with Katy," Kris said, still a little hesitant. "It wasn't because she decided that this whole being apart for the whole school year thing was too hard. It wasn't because of her at all. It was-I broke up with her."
"Why didn't you just say that to begin with?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's not like I'd have sided with Katy or something."
"I broke up with her because I realized I like someone else," Kris said slowly. He was hoping that Adam would connect the pieces and not make him say it out loud.
Adam held his breath and waited for Kris to finish his thought. It wasn't that he didn't know what Kris was saying. It wasn't that hard to figure out and mostly this was just confirming last night's confession but Kris had to say it., Adam couldn't fill in the blanks for him. "Who?"
"I-It wasn't even on Saturday," Kris offered, still trying to work up the courage to tell Adam. "It was on Sunday morning while you were out. She called and we talked and I realized that I had-feelings-for someone else."
"Someone from the bar?"
"No," Kris replied, frowning. "I mean yeah, at the bar. But it started before that."
Adam was frowning now; this was going to take all night at this rate. He was almost ready to just cross the room and kiss Kris to see if he could force it out of him that way. "Who, Kris? Megan? Allison? I thought you'd only met them for the first time that night."
"No, not them," Kris said quickly. "They're both great but no not interested in either of them that way. I-it's -you know that crush you said you had on me, and how amazed you were that I wasn't freaking out about it?"
Adam nodded. They were finally getting somewhere.
"I think maybe I didn't freak out because maybe I like that you have a crush on me."
"You like that I have a crush on you?" Adam asked. Adam couldn't even imagine how hard it was going to be for Kris to come out to his parents or other friends if it was taking him this long to spit it out to someone he could be sure wouldn’t be upset by his newfound homosexuality.
"Yeah maybe a little," Kris said, looking down and feeling a blush creeping up his cheeks. He finished almost in a whisper, "Maybe a little because I feel the same way."
Before Adam could respond, Kris' phone rang. "Ignore it," he said, "we need to finish this."
"It's Daniel," Kris said looking at the screen. "I have to answer. Hi?"
Adam waited while Kris listened silently for a few seconds. "Hang on," Kris said into the phone and then looked up at Adam. "Is your phone off?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Your brother's in the infirmary," Kris said. "They think he broke his arm."
Adam jumped up immediately. "I've gotta go. We aren't done though, Kris. What you said is a big deal, okay? We have to finish this talk."
"He's on his way," Kris said into the phone before closing it. "Do you want me to come with you?"
"No, the little shit's probably okay," Adam answered, hand on the door. "I just need to go make sure. My parents would kill me if I ignored him being injured. We'll talk later, right?"
"Yeah." Kris watched Adam leave and then grabbed his pajamas and headed into the bathroom to shower. At least he'd admitted everything now, even if they didn't get to discuss it at all. He still didn't know how Adam felt about what he'd said other than that it was a big deal but now it was out in the open, the rest should be easier.
Chapter 7