Easter Fic--Old Softies (PG)
Title: Old Softies
Author: lvs2read
Rating: PG
Characters: Crew, OC children (mentioned in passing)
Pairings: Mal/Simon, River/Kaylee, Zoë/Wash
Disclaimer: Belongs to the almighty Joss Whedon. I'm just having fun playing.
Summary: Jayne plays Easter Bunny
Author's Notes: This story takes place within the AU I created for my Big Damn Story which includes the series Family. For those who haven't read that, the children mentioned in this story are Zoë and Wash's 9-year-old son Eddie and 5-year-old daughter Becca, and Mal & Simon's 4-year-old twins Hope and Benjamin. And, no, you don't have to have read that story for this one to make sense.
Thanks to noandwhere for bouncing ideas around with me and then betaing this piece of fluff. *hugs*
Old Softies
"Jayne! Just what the gorramn hell do you think you're doing?!" Mal tried to keep his voice down to a reasonable level, since there were children sleeping in the nearby bunks, but seeing the large mercenary tiptoeing down the corridor with four of the scraggliest looking baskets he'd ever seen was not conducive to calm. "Zoë, what is he doing?" he appealed to his first mate as she joined him from the flight deck.
"Aw, Mal. I'm jus' leavin' Easter baskets for the younguns. Thought they might like 'em."
"Easter baskets?! Zoë, you know about this?" Mal pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the headache he could feel building.
"No, sir. More'n likely Kaylee's idea. Don't see the harm in it, though." Zoë leaned closer to Jayne, trying to see what was in the baskets.
Jayne tried to hide them behind his back, away from Zoë's prying eyes, but they were just too bulky. Sighing, he admitted defeat and let her look as he said, "'Tweren't Kaylee's idea. 'Twas mine. Must be gettin' soft in my old age, but I 'member when I was jus' a little tyke, waking up and seeing what the Easter Bunny brought. Thought - "
"You are getting soft. Galley. Now. And bring the baskets." Mal glared at Jayne until he left, grumbling under his breath. "Zoë, go get your husband while I find Simon. This has gotta be stopped before it gets out o' hand."
"If you say so. Sir." Zoë shrugged and turned back to the flight deck and Wash. She didn't want him to miss the upcoming brouhaha for anything.
***
As so often happened on Serenity, word seemed to spread quickly that momentous events were taking place. So ten minutes later, when Mal and Simon walked into the kitchen, Mal wasn't too surprised to find everyone else already there. Zoë, Wash, and Jayne were a given. And considering River's abilities and relationship with Kaylee, they weren't unexpected, either. But how Inara and Book always knew when storm clouds were gathering he never could fathom. Giving Simon a rueful glance, he cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
Unfortunately, it didn't work.
What had to be the contents of the baskets had been spread across the dining table, and everyone was too busy commenting to even notice that Mal and Simon had joined them.
"Jayne, this camouflage fabric trim is…interesting. I think I have some silk scarves that would complement it nicely, if you'd like me to get them?"
"Honey, do you really think it's appropriate to give our 9-year-old son a knife? I mean, the leather belt's nice and all. But a knife? And why haven't you ever carved a dinosaur for me, Jayne?"
"It's a small knife, dear. I'm sure Jayne didn't mean any harm by it. And is that what that is? A dinosaur? I thought maybe it was a horse."
"Nah, Zoë, it's a dinosaur. See, it's got little humps and everything. Like that… What'd you call it, Wash? A stegosomethin'?"
"Stegosaurus, Kaylee. I think that other one's supposed to be a horse, though. Maybe?"
River picked up the other carving and looked closely at it. "Appears to have a smooth back. Head is misshapen, though. Could be a cow. Wood forgot how to be a tree and hasn't learned to be something else. Hope will teach it." She laid the carving back on the table as she tilted her head to one side. "Never have understood the concept of the Easter Bunny. Supposed to bring painted eggs to children. Why? Rabbits don't have eggs. Are mammals. Give live birth. And why paint the eggs? Doesn't make sense." She shook her head as she tried to resolve the conundrum to her satisfaction.
"It's not supposed to make sense, sweetie." Kaylee leaned over and hugged River. "It's just about fun and presents. Don't you think the little ones will like the presents? Ooh! I have some chocolate stashed away for a special time. Can't get any more special than now." She jumped up and went to her locker, reaching into the back to pull out a small package wrapped in brown paper. She brought it over and laid it on the table as she sat back down. "Kids'll like that."
"You do know it's not all about fun and presents, don't you, Kaylee? It's about the Son of God and his - "
"Ahem! I've told you before, preacher. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't." Mal glared at Book then turned his attention to everyone else, his gaze coming to rest on Jayne, who sat back in his chair, staring back at him with his arms crossed across his chest, the fingers of one hand drumming against the elbow of the opposite arm.
"You'd be surprised, Captain." Book murmured just loud enough for Mal to hear.
"Yes, well, be that as it may," Mal stumbled on, hands across his chest in a pose similar to Jayne's, "still not sure I like this idea o' yours, Jayne. Last thing we need is spoiled rugrats running wild on the ship."
"Not sure I appreciate you calling my children rugrats. Sir." Zoë glared at Mal.
"That's true, Mal. Anklebiters, maybe. But not rugrats." Wash winced when Zoë turned her glare on him. "I mean, you shouldn't be calling them that, Captain. They're children. Perfect children. Angels, even."
"Simon?" Mal turned his gaze to where Simon was idly examining the contents of the table, flipping open the lid of a cigar box and finding, not cigars, but another carved toy.
"Hmm?" Simon glanced at Jayne quickly before looking over at Mal. "Actually, I prefer the term children as well." He gingerly picked up the toy gun and held it up for closer inspection, trying valiantly to repress the shudder that ran through him at the thought of his 4-year-old son playing with a weapon, even a toy one.
"That is not what I meant, and you know it," Mal growled. "Let me see that." He walked over and took the gun from Simon's unresisting hand. "You made this, Jayne?" At the answering nod, he said, "Nice work. Still…"
"Still what, Mal? Afraid the younguns might have some fun? That they'll be scarred for life by gettin' surprise presents? What's the matter with me bein' nice once in a while? Ain't hurtin' nobody, and I'll still do my job when the time comes. Don't gotta worry about me gettin' soft."
"Hey! They have fun! Don't they?" Mal looked around at his crew, who all stared back at him with varying degrees of disappointment. "And I ain't worried about you, Jayne. Know you'll do the job." He nodded decisively at Jayne before appealing one more time to his husband. "Simon?"
Simon laid his hand on Mal's arm and grinned up at him. "You might as well give in, love. You know you're going to anyway. Might as well do it gracefully."
Mal heaved a sigh and grumbled, "Fine. Have it your way. You know, this is my ship. My ship. When did everybody stop paying attention to what I have to say about running things?"
Simon laughed and reached up a hand to caress Mal's cheek before pulling him down for a kiss. "When you got soft."
Author: lvs2read
Rating: PG
Characters: Crew, OC children (mentioned in passing)
Pairings: Mal/Simon, River/Kaylee, Zoë/Wash
Disclaimer: Belongs to the almighty Joss Whedon. I'm just having fun playing.
Summary: Jayne plays Easter Bunny
Author's Notes: This story takes place within the AU I created for my Big Damn Story which includes the series Family. For those who haven't read that, the children mentioned in this story are Zoë and Wash's 9-year-old son Eddie and 5-year-old daughter Becca, and Mal & Simon's 4-year-old twins Hope and Benjamin. And, no, you don't have to have read that story for this one to make sense.
Thanks to noandwhere for bouncing ideas around with me and then betaing this piece of fluff. *hugs*
Old Softies
"Jayne! Just what the gorramn hell do you think you're doing?!" Mal tried to keep his voice down to a reasonable level, since there were children sleeping in the nearby bunks, but seeing the large mercenary tiptoeing down the corridor with four of the scraggliest looking baskets he'd ever seen was not conducive to calm. "Zoë, what is he doing?" he appealed to his first mate as she joined him from the flight deck.
"Aw, Mal. I'm jus' leavin' Easter baskets for the younguns. Thought they might like 'em."
"Easter baskets?! Zoë, you know about this?" Mal pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the headache he could feel building.
"No, sir. More'n likely Kaylee's idea. Don't see the harm in it, though." Zoë leaned closer to Jayne, trying to see what was in the baskets.
Jayne tried to hide them behind his back, away from Zoë's prying eyes, but they were just too bulky. Sighing, he admitted defeat and let her look as he said, "'Tweren't Kaylee's idea. 'Twas mine. Must be gettin' soft in my old age, but I 'member when I was jus' a little tyke, waking up and seeing what the Easter Bunny brought. Thought - "
"You are getting soft. Galley. Now. And bring the baskets." Mal glared at Jayne until he left, grumbling under his breath. "Zoë, go get your husband while I find Simon. This has gotta be stopped before it gets out o' hand."
"If you say so. Sir." Zoë shrugged and turned back to the flight deck and Wash. She didn't want him to miss the upcoming brouhaha for anything.
***
As so often happened on Serenity, word seemed to spread quickly that momentous events were taking place. So ten minutes later, when Mal and Simon walked into the kitchen, Mal wasn't too surprised to find everyone else already there. Zoë, Wash, and Jayne were a given. And considering River's abilities and relationship with Kaylee, they weren't unexpected, either. But how Inara and Book always knew when storm clouds were gathering he never could fathom. Giving Simon a rueful glance, he cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.
Unfortunately, it didn't work.
What had to be the contents of the baskets had been spread across the dining table, and everyone was too busy commenting to even notice that Mal and Simon had joined them.
"Jayne, this camouflage fabric trim is…interesting. I think I have some silk scarves that would complement it nicely, if you'd like me to get them?"
"Honey, do you really think it's appropriate to give our 9-year-old son a knife? I mean, the leather belt's nice and all. But a knife? And why haven't you ever carved a dinosaur for me, Jayne?"
"It's a small knife, dear. I'm sure Jayne didn't mean any harm by it. And is that what that is? A dinosaur? I thought maybe it was a horse."
"Nah, Zoë, it's a dinosaur. See, it's got little humps and everything. Like that… What'd you call it, Wash? A stegosomethin'?"
"Stegosaurus, Kaylee. I think that other one's supposed to be a horse, though. Maybe?"
River picked up the other carving and looked closely at it. "Appears to have a smooth back. Head is misshapen, though. Could be a cow. Wood forgot how to be a tree and hasn't learned to be something else. Hope will teach it." She laid the carving back on the table as she tilted her head to one side. "Never have understood the concept of the Easter Bunny. Supposed to bring painted eggs to children. Why? Rabbits don't have eggs. Are mammals. Give live birth. And why paint the eggs? Doesn't make sense." She shook her head as she tried to resolve the conundrum to her satisfaction.
"It's not supposed to make sense, sweetie." Kaylee leaned over and hugged River. "It's just about fun and presents. Don't you think the little ones will like the presents? Ooh! I have some chocolate stashed away for a special time. Can't get any more special than now." She jumped up and went to her locker, reaching into the back to pull out a small package wrapped in brown paper. She brought it over and laid it on the table as she sat back down. "Kids'll like that."
"You do know it's not all about fun and presents, don't you, Kaylee? It's about the Son of God and his - "
"Ahem! I've told you before, preacher. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't." Mal glared at Book then turned his attention to everyone else, his gaze coming to rest on Jayne, who sat back in his chair, staring back at him with his arms crossed across his chest, the fingers of one hand drumming against the elbow of the opposite arm.
"You'd be surprised, Captain." Book murmured just loud enough for Mal to hear.
"Yes, well, be that as it may," Mal stumbled on, hands across his chest in a pose similar to Jayne's, "still not sure I like this idea o' yours, Jayne. Last thing we need is spoiled rugrats running wild on the ship."
"Not sure I appreciate you calling my children rugrats. Sir." Zoë glared at Mal.
"That's true, Mal. Anklebiters, maybe. But not rugrats." Wash winced when Zoë turned her glare on him. "I mean, you shouldn't be calling them that, Captain. They're children. Perfect children. Angels, even."
"Simon?" Mal turned his gaze to where Simon was idly examining the contents of the table, flipping open the lid of a cigar box and finding, not cigars, but another carved toy.
"Hmm?" Simon glanced at Jayne quickly before looking over at Mal. "Actually, I prefer the term children as well." He gingerly picked up the toy gun and held it up for closer inspection, trying valiantly to repress the shudder that ran through him at the thought of his 4-year-old son playing with a weapon, even a toy one.
"That is not what I meant, and you know it," Mal growled. "Let me see that." He walked over and took the gun from Simon's unresisting hand. "You made this, Jayne?" At the answering nod, he said, "Nice work. Still…"
"Still what, Mal? Afraid the younguns might have some fun? That they'll be scarred for life by gettin' surprise presents? What's the matter with me bein' nice once in a while? Ain't hurtin' nobody, and I'll still do my job when the time comes. Don't gotta worry about me gettin' soft."
"Hey! They have fun! Don't they?" Mal looked around at his crew, who all stared back at him with varying degrees of disappointment. "And I ain't worried about you, Jayne. Know you'll do the job." He nodded decisively at Jayne before appealing one more time to his husband. "Simon?"
Simon laid his hand on Mal's arm and grinned up at him. "You might as well give in, love. You know you're going to anyway. Might as well do it gracefully."
Mal heaved a sigh and grumbled, "Fine. Have it your way. You know, this is my ship. My ship. When did everybody stop paying attention to what I have to say about running things?"
Simon laughed and reached up a hand to caress Mal's cheek before pulling him down for a kiss. "When you got soft."