Title: How impossible, our simplicity
Rating: PG-13
Pairing Finn/Kurt
Word Count: 2100
Exchange Recipient:
woodsgalNotes: This was written for the Finn/Kurt exchange - sorry it's late! The prompt was: Emailing or instant messaging and not knowing it's each other.
Background: Finn and Kurt have been online friends for several years - but they know each other as Harry (that's Finn) and Fleur (that's Kurt). They met on Harry Potter message boards. They never had any idea that their online best friend was someone they went to school with. So here we go...
From: Fleur Delacour
To: Harry Potter
Subject: Hello there, stranger!
Hey, Harry,
(Before I start, I know that when we first met, it was kind of cool to call each other by our Harry Potter character names. And it made sense at the time, since we met on a Harry Potter lovers message board. But now that I think about it, I’ve been talking to you for years and I have no idea of what your real name is. Hmm. I think I like the mystery, but it’s still pretty strange. Anyway...)
I know it’s been a while since we last spoke - and by a while, I mean about a year. It’s strange how that happens. I never meant to lose touch with you, I promise. This year was just different for me. I made a lot of new friends, really got involved with school, like you said I should. Still, though, that’s no excuse to ignore you. I have received every single LOL cat you’ve sent me. And I kinda hate that I forget to email you when things were going well, and now that they’re not, I remember you again. You really are my best friend, and you always will be. You know more about me than anyone else in the world, after all.
But lately things have kind of been terrible. My best friend (real life best friend that is) has been spending all her time with this popular girl. Well, ex popular girl. All of a sudden, said popular girl is an outcast and is paying attention to my best friend. And then there was this other guy who I had a crush on, or at least thought I could have a good friendship with, but that’s sort of falling apart too. So I’m feeling pretty lonely. It’s nice to know, anyway, that no matter how lonely I may feel, I have at least one friend. Even if I’ve never met him and probably never will.
So how are you doing? Tell me about what’s going on. Help me get my mind off the mess that my life has become.
Your friend, even if I’m terrible at it,
Fleur
From: Harry Potter
To: Fleur Delacour
Subject: HIIIIII!!!!!!!
Hey, Fleur!
Yeah it is weird that we still use Harry Potter names. Most guys I know wouldnt be cool being called Fleur lol. Anyways its been way too long since we talked! Or typed or whatever! Ive had a crazy year like you wouldn’t believe. Seriously you really wouldn’t believe it. Youd think this was some crazy soap opera or something I don’t even know. On the bright side I started singing. I thought youd appreciate that. I’m in a glee club. Maybe I’ll let you know when one of our performances is and if you live within like 100 miles you can come. Or whatever. I shouldve emailed you to, more than just lolcats (though did you see Ceiling Cat? It’s my wallpaper except sometimes I’m afraid he’s real). I guess I just felt like everything going on was too crazy for anyone to take seriously. Or maybe I thought that I should be a man. Im not sure. Im so sick of trying to figure out what people want from me and trying to be that person. I never get it right.
But yeah. I had my real life best friend who I told you about (who seriously doesn’t even hold a candle to you, it’s ridiculous). And he betrayed the crap out of me!!! So did my girlfriend. If you think of the worst way someone can be betrayed that’s what they did. It gets me mad just thinking about it so I’ll stop. I also made a pretty good friend but then I did that thing where I talk but don’t really think about what I’m saying first and it’s a big mess and people get mad at me. It sucks. What I said was really bad to and I don’t know how to make it right again. Laaaaaaame.
But yeah. Glee club. That gets me through the shit. Because if there’s anything I’ve learned this year it’s that things are better when you sing about them. LOL but seriously.
Your friend, and don’t worry you’re a good friend too,
Harry
From: Fleur Delacour
To: Harry Potter
Subject: Oh, you
Darling Harry,
Oh, you! Just seeing an email from you put a smile on my face! I’m sorry your friends are terrible. I wish I could have been there for you, if only to remind you that there are people in the world who won’t treat you terribly. And then you could have reminded me of the same. Although, I should mention that I’m not being bullied quite as often as I used to be. I know you were concerned about that. Of course, if I say something so optimistic, I know I’ll be putting a curse on myself. And I mustn’t become complacent either.
It’s so funny that you mentioned joining a Glee Club, because so did I! We started off rather shakily, but we’ve become quite good, I think, even though I never get a chance to have a solo. Our club is riddled with blatant favoritism, bossy divas, and unimaginable levels of sexual tension. Still, I adore it. I actually feel like I almost belong at my school. I’ve also become a cheerleader, and at least there I’m appreciated. And our cheerleading team is quite good, because of our Nazi-like coach. I know people should be careful when comparing people to Nazis, but if you met her, you’d agree with me. I’ll be sure to look for you at our next glee club competition, though.
Question - the person I’m mad at, who said something very hurtful and offensive to me, seems genuinely sorry. But he also puts a lot of value on his reputation. Should I give him another chance to win my favor, or should I ignore him, and let him find validation elsewhere? Heaven forbid there’s a single person in the world who doesn’t think he’s perfect, after all.
Tah,
Fleur
From: Harry Potter
To: Fleur Delacour
Subject: Re: Oh, you
Fleur,
I bet the guy who hurt your feelings is reallyreally sorry. I bet hed do anything to make it up to you. I bet he feels like the worlds biggest idiot and maybe you give him a lot of feelings that kinda freak him out because he’s never had feelings like those before. Because he’s always liked girls and stuff except that sometimes he stares at his teammates too long and everyone always calls him a homo and stuff and it sucks. And maybe you’re like soft and pretty like a girl but you’re also fierce and bitchy but in a good way and definitely not a girl. And so maybe he likes you and he needs to sort out his feelings but things were moving too fast so he freaked out. Maybe you should give him another chance. I think you should.
Maybe.
Or maybe I’m totally wrong and talking out my ass because you know I do that sometimes.
Me
From: Fleur Delacour
To: Harry Potter
Subject: WTF
Are you fucking with me? Because I swear to god, if this is some sort of joke...
From: Harry Potter
To: Fleur Delacour
Subject: Re: WTF
I promise, I’m not fucking with you.
From: Fleur Delacour
To: Harry Potter
Subject: If this is who I think it is...
Fine. Meet me at the park, in an hour.
Kurt sat on the swing, rocking slowly back and forth with his feet. He remembered when his mother would take him here and almost smiled. Almost. Because even the good memories of his mother were tinged with sadness, because of the knowledge that there would never be any more of them. He felt like he was holding sand in his hands sometimes - if he wasn’t careful, more and more of it could trickle away until he was left with nothing.
He sighed, shaking his head. Trying to distract himself really wouldn’t help with his current predicament. It was so impossible that the person he’d spent so much time confiding in could be Finn Hudson. Finn Hudson! The boy he was, or thought he was, in love with. He’d told his Internet friend about his impossible crush, far before he even got to know Finn. So, if Finn remembered, he’d remember pages and pages of text about how dreamy and brave Kurt’s crush was. And that was beyond embarrassing.
And then those last things Finn had said - Kurt didn’t even know what to think anymore. He wasn’t sure whether it would be worse for this to be true or all a fantasy. Maybe, just maybe, this was all some crazy, ridiculous coincidence. Maybe the person he’d talked to online really wasn’t Finn, and would go to some random park and find no one there. But even so - maybe it was Finn, and maybe he’d be completely freaked out. And then Kurt wouldn’t even have his online friend to fall back on. He hung his head, staring at the dirt, and shut his eyes tight. He didn’t want to think about that happening, but it was a very real possibility.
"Fleur?” came a quiet voice.
Startled, Kurt looked up, and blinked several times. "Harry?” he whispered to Finn, who was standing in front of him. "It’s you.”
"It’s me,” Finn agreed, nodding. "I... um. There’s a lot to say right now... I don’t know where to start...”
"I’m sorry, Finn.”
Finn looked confused. "Sorry? For what?”
"For everything. For being so awkward around you. I know that the reason you... used that word... was because my advances were making you uncomfortable. I should never have put you in that situation.”
"Did you read my email?” Finn asked. "I’m the one who should be apologizing. And I am. Apologizing, I mean. What I did... it was fucked. I just... you live here, you know what stuff is like. I got harassed just for joining Glee Club, what do you think would happen if Karofsky and all them found out I like guys, too? I was... fuck, I was scared. I just... everyone expects so much from me and I never do anything right, and you liked me so much and you were so obvious about it... and I just wanted everything to stop for a while so I could work everything out in my head but I ruined everything...”
Kurt smiled gently. "You didn’t ruin everything. We’re still friends. I forgive you, if you forgive me.”
"I don’t know if you need to be forgiven for anything, dude, but I’m definitely not mad at you.”
"So you’re really... you’re Harry? You know that crazy crush I was always talking to you about?”
"That was on me?”
Kurt nodded. "I’m sorry. Obviously, if I’d known--”
"No, it’s fine. I mean, it’s good. Everything I know about like, gay stuff, I learned from you. If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be like every other asshole in this town.”
"I can’t believe I’m finally meeting you. I mean, I always imagined what it might be like but...”
"Not like this.”
"No. Not at all.”
After a long pause, Kurt said, "That time? A couple years back, when I was really depressed and you talked me out of doing anything really stupid... that meant a lot to me.”
Finn smiled. "It meant a lot to me too. I got to feel like, important and stuff.”
"I know things are kinda weird between us right now, but I mean... I’ve always wanted to hug my best friend, so, can I?”
"Totally.”
For a few long moments they stood there, hugging, until Finn said, "So, you have a crush on me.”
Kurt sighed and pulled away. "I do. Which is completely tragic for me, I assure you. Such is the curse of a small town, I suppose.”
Finn laughed. "Look... I still don’t have everything figured out. That really shouldn’t surprise you - I barely have basic social skills figured out. I’m not even sure if I’m gay, or what. I mean, I don’t think I’m gay... I definitely like boobs. But I like you. I like my best friend, Fleur, but I also like you... Kurt. And maybe, now that we have everything out in the open... maybe we could like, see what happens.”
Kurt smiled. "I think that’s a great idea.”
--Epilogue--
"So, where did you guys meet?”
Kurt and Finn looked at each other, and laughed. Finn wrapped his arm around Kurt’s shoulders, and Kurt leaned against him. "Well, it’s a complicated story...”
--
This fic is dedicated to those of us who have those amazing online friends who we shared our lives with for years, and maybe got to meet... and maybe not.
The rest of my fic can be found
HERE