Fic: Excited 1/2 (Numb3rs, Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger)
Title: Excited 1/2
Fandom: Numb3rs
Pair: Charlie Eppes / Colby Granger
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
NUMB3RS Main List
Written for Chymoms line challenge, using lines from the pilot:
Don: This is not about numbers.
Charlie: Everthing is Numbers.
Other Line Challenge Fics can be found under this tag.
“Just calm down. I’ll talk to him. Again.” Colby was talking to his cell phone and
looked panicky. Megan came closer to listen. “He means well, he just-” Colby paused
when the screeching screams from the other end interrupted him. “I’ll talk to him.
Bye.” He cut the call before the woman in the other end had time to respond.
“What was that?”
“Karen. She wanted to give me some feedback.”
“I heard that. How far along is she?”
“Five months. Charlie could probably give you the exact number of days.”
“Probably. Why was she so upset?”
“Charlie got carried away. Again. After that first horror he got really into it.”
“What’s bad about that?”
“He started reading those guide books about pregnancy. You know what to do, how
to eat, when should the baby start kicking, what’s the average growth rate of a
fetes….”
“And?”
“And he wanted to offer his newfound expertise to Karen. Personally, I think it’s
starting to get closer to harassment. He’s calling her at least four times a day!”
“You’re kidding….”
“No. She has done this three times before, she knows what she’s doing.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Try talking to him. He may actually listen. Too bad I can’t do the same thing
with Ian. He’s too scary.”
“What did he do?”
“He’s gone uncle-crazy. He’s been all over L.A. to find just the right kind of
booties for the baby. And we don’t even know if it`s a boy or a girl yet.”
“That man takes his gun with him when he goes to the Babies R` Us. Let him do
what he wants.” Megan commented.
“Yeah. You think anyone would notice if I leave early for lunch?”
“Go. And confiscate Charlie’s phone.”
-------------------------------------------------
“Hey, babe.” Colby greeted. Charlie was hunched over his desk scribbling feverously
into a notebook.
“Hey, I’m almost done.”
“What are you doing?”
“I made Karen a daily program based on the average recommendations of nutrition,
exercise, additional supplements-”
“Charlie, we need to talk about this.”
“I’ve done my research and I did the math. This is the guide for a healthy baby.”
“This is not about numbers.”
“Everything is Numbers.”
“I’m trying to say this gently, but you’re making it really hard…. I talked to Karen.”
“Did she read the memo I send to her about training the pelvic muscles?”
“Charlie, she said that if you don’t stop this she will cut the baby out herself
and beat you with it.”
“That’s harsh.”
“And you’ve been a pain in the ass.”
“I just want to make sure the baby’s gonna be healthy.”
“Okay, put the pen down. Talkie time.”
“I thought we were talking already.”
“Put those away.” Colby grabbed the pen and the notebook and tossed them to
the other end of the room. “What is this whole thing about?”
“I wanna be involved. She’s at her home and I see her bump when we go to her
check-ups together. She’s having our baby and we don’t have anything to do
with it.”
“That’s how pregnancy is. It’s a one woman show. When the baby’s born we’ll
have him or her for the rest of our lives. You can wait four months.”
“I guess….” Charlie sighed. “It would have been so much simpler if I had
just knocked you up.
“Well, you tried that.” Colby laughed. “Over and over again…”
“You would look so adorable with a baby bump.” Charlie grinned. “I can just
imagine you in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.”
“You know…. If I could I would probably do it.”
“You wanna try again?” Charlie pulled him closer. “When the baby’s here we
don’t have that much time for that….”
“In your office?”
“We’ve done it before.” Charlie nuzzled Colby’s neck.
“Can we at least lock the door this time?”
-------------------------------------------------
“Where’s Granger?” Don asked when he returned to the bullpen.
“He had baby-emergency.” Megan explained.
“Is everything okay?”
“The baby’s fine. And the surrogate is about to go crazy because of Charlie.”
“That’s understandable. What did he do?”
“He’s bombing their surrogate with health regimes, food programs and
who knows what. I think I’m partly to blame for that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I gave him some books so that he could study the basics of pregnancy, and
he got overexcited.”
“Did you tell that to Granger?”
“Are you kidding?” Megan giggled. “Of course not.”
Don grabbed his ringing phone from his belt.
“Eppes.”
“Hey, bro. I just wanted to warn you. Colby’s gonna be little late from lunch.”
“Do I wanna know why?”
“Well…. I was planning to give a lecture on nutrition but somehow I slipped
to physical education….”
“Forget I asked.” Don hung up.
TBC