Fic: Fanfiction, Chapter 4 (Criminal Minds, Reid / Morgan, Hotch / Chad, Sean / Cain)
Title: Fanfiction, Chapter 4
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pair: Spencer Reid / Derek Morgan,
Aaron Hotchner / Chad Christensen,
Sean Hotchner / Cain Christensen
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Criminal Minds Main List
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Reid pushed his glasses higher on his nose, frowning and sending Morgan his trademark Kitten Glare. He had placed everything ready for his bedtime routines: A glass of water, the case for his glasses and a cellphone on the nightstand, a thick book in his lap waiting to be read, and a pair of mismatched wool socks keeping his feet warm. The only thing ruining the cozy picture was the venomous glare he was currently directing at his partner.
“Morgan…”
“You got yours!”
“Do you know what this is?” Reid closed the book and prodded it on his knee, so Morgan could see the cover. “The Kreutzer Sonata, by Leo Tolstoy. A book written by one of the most respected literary minds, so don’t even try to compare it to the deranged over-sexualized ramblings of a computer-tech with too much time in her hands.”
“It’s not that bad-”
“I’ve gone along with this fascination of yours, but you’re not bringing that stuff to bed with us.”
“Aren’t you curious to know what happens to us?”
“No.” Reid stated firmly, and for the second time that night Morgan started to wonder if Hotch had been coaching the genius to imitate his infamous Death Glower. “No, Morgan, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear how one of us suddenly finds he’s a genetic anomaly and can get pregnant. I don’t want to hear about either of us suddenly growing a pair of wings and discovering there’s a demon living inside us trying to take over and destroy the world. I don’t want to hear how some life threatening situation makes us realize we’ve been in love all along and we start making out like proverbial bunnies. Do I make myself clear, Morgan? I do not want to hear about it.”
“Wow…” Morgan sighed. “Have you been taking classes or something?”
“What?”
“You sounded like you were channeling Hotch, with a little bit of Emily and Penny thrown into the mix.”
“Don’t try to change the subject. I’m not sleeping in the same bed with that.”
“Then where are you gonna sleep?”
Morgan knew it was the wrong response as soon as the words had left his mouth. Reid dumped his book on the nightstand, grabbed Morgan’s pillow and covers, and shoved them into Morgan’s hands.
“Couch?”
“If you can get on it, Clooney’s already claimed it.” Reid opened the door and Morgan marched out obediently.
----- ----- -----
Hotch had almost finished the artfully set triangulation of logs when Chad’s homecoming was announced by a loud bang of the door, followed by a soft thud of the man’s bag hitting the floor.
The faint sound of footsteps moved on into the kitchen and then the door to the living room was pulled open.
“Hey, babe. Did you eat already?”
“No. I got preoccupied.” Hotch got more comfortable in his kneeling position in front of the fireplace. He set fire to the long strip of newspaper that slighered under the woods and watched the small flames reach the dry wood. Chad kneeled down next to him and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek.
“Hungry?”
“I could eat something. Did you have time to go to the store?”
“No, but I can improvise. I’ll be right back.” He got up and went back into the kitchen. He came back carrying a tray filled with miscellaneous items. He placed it on the floor and started to unload them. Two glasses, a bottle of red wine, a packet of marshmallows and half a packet of sausages. “Since we already got a fire, we might as well go with the theme.” He picket two sausage, speared them with the tip of the fire poker and placed them above the growing flames.
“Are those the same ones we used for hot dogs?”
“Yeah, we had some left over from the weekend.” Chad nodded at the bottle of wine. “Can you open that?”
“Sure.” Hotch took the bottle and examined the label. “Looks good. Did you bring…?”
“Yeah.” Chad fished out a bottle opener from underneath the marshmallows and handed it over to Hotch. “So how was your day?”
“Long and bizarre.”
“Mine too, and the end of it was just depressing. You remember when I talked about my first year classes?”
“Yeah.”
“And especially about one student?”
“I remember. Is she making any progress?”
“Not enough.” The disappointment was audible in his sigh. “I’ve been telling her for ages, that when she faces an attacker they don’t play fair and by the book. She’s just too timid to do anything.”
“Some people are like that. They have issues with causing bodily harm, even if it’s the last resort.”
“It’s supposed to be the last resort and I’ve been repeating that till I’m blue in the face, but she just doesn’t get it.” Chad took his filled glass and dipped a marshmallow into it. “I don’t know how she got through the entrance tests, but she’s not gonna be a field agent, I can tell you that already.”
“You think she’ll drop out?”
“No.” Chad took a bite from his marshmallow. “She’ll stay there till the bitter end. I don’t think even Spencer was this bad when he was in training. I mean I understand that they don’t wanna cause harm to anyone, but sometimes it unavoidable, and that’s why we have the training and testing. Spencer wouldn’t harm a fly if he had the power to decide, but he has enough survival instincts to know that sometimes avoidance is not an option.”
“Some people aren’t cut out for it.” Hotch admitted and took a sip from his glass. “It’s better that they are weeded out in the beginning.”
“Yeah, but it’s not very nice to tell them it’s not gonna happen.”
“How many have dropped out so far?”
“Three. One couldn’t handle the weapon training, two left for personal reasons. And one broke his arm in survival training, but I got him moved to the next batch, so he has time to recover.” He finished his marshmallow and pulled the sausages off the fire to check on them. “Warm enough.” He picked one and took a big bite. “So what’s with the fire?”
“I just felt like sitting in front of one.”
“It has nothing to do with burning all that?” Chad leaned over Hotch`s legs and grabbed the pile of prints Hotch had left on the floor. “Garcia’s amateur erotica?”
“How did you know?”
“I talked with Cain. Have you read them?”
“I haven’t had time for more than a few pages, there has to at least a hundred pages here. Besides, I don’t think I want to know what she has to say.”
“Maybe not now, but you might. Later.” Chad tilted his head to the side, a crooked grin blooming on his lips. “If I read them to you?”
“Are you trying to say you’ve been reading stuff like that?”
“Nope.” Chad dived in for a quick kiss. “I prefer reality to fiction, but it could be fun to see what goes on in Garcia’s head. All the chaos, all the pink… us.”
“How can you be in the mood when we both just had a long day at work?”
“You just said it: We’ve been working all day. All work and no play… can make a guy feel really edgy…” He took a bite from a marshmallow and leaned in for another kiss. “It’s your brother.” He stated dryly against Hotch`s lips.
“What?”
“Your phone.” Chad’s arm reached around the other man and dipped into the back pocket to find the ringing cellphone. Once he had pulled it out, the sound of “He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother” became louder and Hotch grabbed the phone from him with a frustrated sigh. He flipped it open and pressed it against his ear.
“Sean?”
“No, it’s me.”
“Cain?” Hotch shared a quick look with the man currently nibbling his neck. “Is something wrong?”
“No, something is very right. We agreed to destroy Garcia’s crap-slash. I didn’t even need to say it, he did it all by himself.”
“You mean he’s come to his senses?”
“I wouldn’t put it like that…” Cain suppressed a low chuckle. “… he had some unwanted shock therapy, but he has no one to blame but himself. Just like always.”
“What kind of shock therapy?”
“We were in his friend’s bachelor party, he’d had a few drinks and then he decided to sneak into the men’s room to enjoy Garcia’s fics.”
“He took them with him?”
“I know, I should have done a more thorough search before we left, but we were in a hurry. He had some pages rated NC-17, and when I went looking for him he was sitting on the bathroom floor, shaking vomiting.”
Hotch`s big brother instincts were tingling, and he pulled back from Chad so he could focus on the issue.
“What happened?”
“He thought he could handle it, but Garcia is more perverted than he thought. I guess reading it in really graphic details was too much.”
“How is he now?”
“Still shaking, but he doesn’t have much to throw up anymore. I brought him home and he’s been hugging the porcelain ever since.”
“What could be so bad?” Hotch regretted the question immediately, but went on.
“I didn’t read all of it, but enough to figure out what it as about.” Cain was quiet for a while, collecting his thoughts. “No matter how mouthy he is sometimes, he’s more talk than action.”
“Yes, I remember when he asked if Chad and I were interested in a threesome.”
“He talks a lot, but I don’t think he would have gone through with it even if you and Chad had said yes.”
“What does that have to do with this?”
“That fic was about a Sean, who goes from one man to the next, because he can’t have the one he’s loved all his life. In the end his big brother figures it all out, and they…” Cain’s voice faded away for a moment. “I didn’t read the last parts, but even I’m getting nauseous.”
“Garcia wrote that?”
“Yeah.”
“Me and…?”
“Sean.” In the background Sean’s voice said something incomprehensible. “Wait a minute, he wants to talk to you.” The phone switched hands, and Sean’s voice came through the line.
“Bro?”
“Are you alright?”
“I’m… sick. And the rooms kinda spinning…”
“You should try to get some fluids into you, vomiting dries you up.”
“Aaron?” Sean asked carefully. For a passing moment he sounded more like a little kid than a man approaching thirty.
“Yeah?”
“I thought I was really open minded, but that was…”
“Too disturbing?”
“Just too… wrong. I mean, I thought I was open for almost anything, but I never even thought about anything like that and when it was right there in black and white… It was just wrong.”
“I know.”
“I didn’t even know it was gonna be like that, I just saw the rating and thought it would be good.” His voice went more quiet and Aaron was almost sure he heard Cain state: Drink it now or suffer later. A moment later the sounds of deep gulping confirmed it. “Sorry, nurse Nightingale here’s trying to kill me with his concoctions.”
“What did he give you?”
“No idea… But seriously… Aaron?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you like a brother, but I don’t think I can look you in the eye for at least a week.”
“I had plans for the weekend anyway.”
“Mmmmggggghhhh…”
“Sean?”
“This stuff is just nasty... I think I better lie down, the room’s spinning again.”
“Okay, good night.”
Hotch had expected him to hung up, but judging by the noises Cain had taken the phone once again. A few minutes later Cain`s voice came back.
“You still there?”
“I’m here. Did you put him to bed?”
“Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that all the prints he had are gone now.”
“That’s good, except the originals are still on-line. I think I’ll have to have a serious discussion with Garcia and tell her to take them down.”
“No need for that, we got all worked out. Just ask my brother, or Kevin.”
“How exactly are you handling it?”
“You’ll hear about it when it’s done. Good night.”
Hotch hung up and weight the phone in his hand.
“What do you know about this?”
“I told you I talked with him." Chad smirked gleefully. "Then we had a little phone conference with Kevin, and we cooked up a war strategy. Kevin wasn’t exactly pleased that his fictional self was having issues with impotence, so he was more than happy to help. But I don’t know if I should tell you what we planned…” He teased and emptied his wine glass. “I think it could be too much for you. It’s a little bit… underhanded.”
“Really?” Hotch fought to keep a straight face. “How underhanded?”
“And sneaky… and morally questionable... And just plain dirty.” Chad practically purred. He leaned back on the thick rug and folded his arms under his head. “But I might be persuaded to tell you anyway.”
“You might be?”
“Yeah.” Chad grinned at the growing smirk on Hotch`s lips. “Try to wheedle it out of me, babe.”
----- ----- -----
“No, you can’t have the couch, I need it.” Morgan pushed Clooney off the sofa once more and the canine crouched on the carpet, groaning at him. “If you wanna sleep on the couch, go upstairs and tell Pretty Boy to let me back in the bed.”
Clooney considered it for a minute, then got up and galloped out of the living room.
“If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will…” He groaned and spread his blankets on the couch, sliding underneath them and getting comfortable. He placed a thick stack of prints to lay on his lap, and started to hunt down the next chapter of the story he had been reading.
His cellphone beeped. Morgan grabbed it from the table and opened the message.
Trying to get me sentimental by sending a cute dog here? Not helping your case.
Morgan sent back a quick message, making an offer no one should refuse, and got another quick one in return.
Morgan, you can’t buy your way back with sexual favors. Good night.
Half a minute later another message arrived.
And I’m keeping the dog.
Morgan groaned, already cursing the creak in his neck in the morning, and dumped the phone to the coffee table. He snapped on one of the smaller lights and started reading.
Chapter 5 (NC-17)