Fic: Delko Vs chastity (CSI Miami, Ryan Wolfe / Eric Delko)
Title: Delko VS. chastity
Fandom: CSI Miami
Pair: Ryan Wolfe / Eric Delko,
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
CSI Miami Main List
“Is it safe to come in?” Eric peeked his head into the small room Ryan was working in. “Or are you still mad at me?”
“I’m not mad, but it really shouldn’t be too much too that you show some basic consideration to the guy, who’s getting dressed and can’t fight for himself.”
“I didn’t know it was the last bagel!” Eric came in and closed the door. “I’ll get you more when we get off work. I’m done with my case anyway.”
“Normally I wouldn’t care, but when I haven’t had time to go grocery shopping for days, I do care. I had to survive the whole morning with handful of dry cereal, because you had used all the milk.”
“I don’t like black coffee!” Eric approached Ryan carefully, stepped behind him and rested his chin on the man’s shoulder. “You wouldn’t make me drink it black, would you?”
“Puppy eyes only work when I can see them.” Ryan commented with a small grin. “But for future reference: If you’re gonna keep staying overnight this often, you should do some of the shopping too and not just eat everything.”
“Well… you know that theory about married men?” Eric glanced at the hallway, but there was no one to see them. “That they get fat, because they see what’s in bed and then go to the fridge to see if they got something more appealing there.”
“I’ve heard about it.”
“This is kinda like that.”
“Do I need to remind you I’m armed?”
“Just listen to me. I go home, check my fridge and my bed and then come to your place.”
“Let me guess. Because your fridge is empty and your bedroom still has that nasty ant problem?”
“You know me so well…” Eric sighed and looked over Ryan’s shoulder. “Can I switch the topic?”
“Faster than anyone else I know.”
“What is that thing?”
Ryan placed the metallic apparatus back on the table and pulled the spotlight over it.
“What do you think it is?”
“It’s…” Eric stared at the item, but couldn’t figure out its purpose. “Is it meant for something kinky?”
“I guess that depends on your definition of kinky.”
“You know my definition of kinky…”
“Then, no, it’s not kinky.”
“Is it… something automatic? Like part of a rusty engine or something like that?”
“No.”
“I give up. What is it?”
“It’s a cast-iron chastity belt.”
“So you’re still angry-”
“No, it really is.”
“Why do you have it?”
“My victim was wearing it when she died.”
“You mean someone was wearing that under her clothes?” Eric grimaced at the thought. “Sounds… chafing.”
“No, this was all she was wearing at the time. Before that she did have a dress on.”
“Is it some cult thing? Chastity until marriage or-”
“No, she was married and had two kids.”
“Then why?”
“Motive is still hazy, but we got the chain of events cleared and the killer in custody.” Ryan grinned over his shoulder. “You want to hear it from the beginning?”
“Does it explain the chastity belt?”
“Yeah.”
“Then I wanna hear it.”
“She was lounging in the shade with her three handmaidens, listening to them reading her letters from her suitors.”
“You’re making that up.”
“I wish I was… She decided to take dip in the river-” Ryan paused and shook his head with frustration. “The ocean, not a river. We were interviewing those weirdos all morning, so if I start sounding like a tacky romance novel, please shoot me.”
“What kinda weirdos?”
“The ones at that Renaissance fair near the park. They were staging a fifteenth century ballad from the Isle of Wight.”
“They were all actors?”
“Amateur actors…” A small shiver went down Ryan’s body. “They’re so good at acting, you can see that they’re acting.”
“How did the story go?”
“She sends her ladies-in-waiting away, after they’ve helped her out her corset and things…” He looked down at the time line he had scribbled on his notepad. “…which took almost an hour.”
“Did they have a halftime?”
“No, apparently the enthusiasts, who attend the fair wanted to get the full fifteenth century experience, uncomfortable sides too. Anyway, she stripped down to her metal garment and sent the ladies away, but she didn’t know, that one of her suitors was watching her. When she noticed him, he declared his undying love and tried to take her right there, on the ground.”
“Hence the chastity belt.”
“Yeah. The local locksmith came to her rescue, and accidentally stabbed and killed the man.”
“But that was in the tale, not here and now, right?”
“Right. The woman was so grateful, that she felt it was her duty to reward the man for saving her virtue. So she let him tinker with her lock till it snapped off.”
“Are we talking about that thing-” Eric gestured at the metallic apparatus on the table. “-or the other lock?”
“Both of them.”
“And they were acting it all out in front of an audience?”
“Yeah. You want to hear the funny part?” Ryan smirked. He placed sample swabs in an plastic container, sealed it, and then snapped his gloves off. “The Miami-Dade County’s Cultural Board is supporting this financially.”
“A group of nuts is re-enacting a British tale from the stone age-”
“From the late Middle Ages.”
“Whatever, and it includes a live sex show?”
“Yes.”
“On the beach here in Miami?”
“Yes.”
“And they get the county to pay for it?”
“Yes.”
“That’s…”
“Not even in the top two hundred on my list of Weird Things That Happen in Miami.”
“So what happened to your vic?”
“According to Alexx, she was poisoned. They’re doing the tox-screen now. They are one tech down, so it will take a while.”
“How did she get the poison?”
Ryan pulled two pairs of latex gloves from a box and handed the other pair to Eric.
“Put these on and I’ll show you.”
“I remember the last time you said that to me…”
“Well, that isn’t going to happen again in the middle of the lab.”
“What about-”
“And not in the locker-room either.” Ryan snapped his gloves on and picked up the chastity belt. “Do you see anything weird?”
“Yeah.”
“Inside it. Try it with a swab.”
Eric took a swab. He leaned down to look at the inside, and run the swab along the rim of the metal. When he pulled it back, the tip of the swab had been discolored.
“Someone poisoned the chastity belt?”
“Yeah. Look at these.” Ryan pulled a few autopsy photos from a case file. “The vic`s lower body was covered with rash under that thing. Alexx thinks it reacted to sweat. Hot day an a heavy period costume, she was a walking dead for hours before she even died.”
“Any suspects?”
“The costume supervisor. He was admitted to the hospital half an hour after we got the call about the dead woman.” Ryan smiled grimly. “You want to guess what was wrong with him?”
“Same symptoms?”
“Yeah. He was also in a period costume, so the chain of events looks pretty clear. He poisoned the costume before she put it on and then just made sure she got the right one. We found used gloves in the trashcan in the costuming area. I think small traces of the stuff got on his hands and he unknowingly spread it on himself. He got symptoms, but they weren’t very serious, just revealing.”
“Sounds like you got it together.”
“Yeah, the guy confessed, but we still have to put everything together before we can close this. Out poisoner was crying and ready to confess when we went to interview him in the hospital. One of the symptoms was a terrible itch and a rash, and they had to tie his hands while they treated him.”
“I have to ask…”
“Where the itch was?” Ryan’s grin was practically beaming. “Like I said he had his own costume too…. And he had to reach down there to adjust himself into his codpiece.”
Eric tried to control the look of disgust, that was making it’s way up to his face, but couldn’t prevent it.
“Can you do me favor?”
“You want me to wash my hands extra carefully when I’m done with this?”
“How did you know?”
“It’s written all over your face. Besides, I’m wearing gloves.”
“Doesn’t mean anything.” Eric almost shivered. “When we get off work and you got your hands down my pants, I don’t wanna worry that I might be covered in greenish rash couple hours later.”
“My hands aren’t gonna go anywhere near your pants before I get something to eat, and since you emptied my fridge-”
“I know, I know…” Eric put his hands up in surrender. “I’ll stop by at the store on the way. See you at your place?”
“Who knew…” Ryan faked a stunned expression, than chuckled. “He can be trained after all.”
“I just got this feeling you wont let me in if I come empty-handed.”
“Good enough. You know what the next step is?”
“Are we still talking about coming and empty hands?”
“The little matter of how your dirty clothes keep ending up in my laundry.”
“Maybe… they walked across town on their own?”
“Your socks might do that, but right now I suspect you.” Ryan glanced through the window to make sure the hallway was still empty, and then pulled the man into a quick kiss. “And bring more bagels.”
“Is that the code for: Leave me alone, I got work to do?”
“Don’t you have anything to do?”
“Just wrapping up the case we finished yesterday.”
“Then go and kill some time so I can finish this. Maybe you could read the manual for your washing machine, it’s not that hard to operate.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Eric stole another quick kiss before he turned to leave. “And you’ll…?”
“I promise: I’ll wash my hands very carefully, before I come and touch any part of you.”