Fic: Easy Lessons, Chapter 1/3 (CSI, Nick Stokes / Greg Sanders, Warrick Brown)
Title: Easy Lessons, Chapter 1/3
Pairing: Nick Stokes / Greg Sanders,
Nick Stokes / Greg Sanders / Warrick Brown
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
CSI Las Vegas Main List
“I’m not imagining it!” Nick exclaimed. His statement was accentuated by a sharp wave of his hand which almost send a piece of spring roll flying across the room.
“I didn’t say that!” Greg continued chewing his food peacefully in the other end of the couch. “I’m just saying that it’s not that serious.”
“My best friend is acting weird and it’s not serious?”
“Remember what you were like when you started that freaky thing… what did you call it?”
“Courting?” Nick suggested. “When I started courting you.”
“Who uses that word anymore?”
“It’s a good word!”
“If you’re writing a romance novel.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“You acted just like Warrick now. You made weird questions, you hovered somewhere in the background all the time-”
“Are you saying Warrick`s after you?” Nick almost laughed at the idea. “No way.”
“Not like that. I mean he’s curious.”
“And you just happened to be in the way?”
“I’ll explain this really slowly for you. When you started to get curious about guys, you had a specific guy in mind.”
“True.”
“But Warrick`s case is different. He’s obviously curious, but he doesn’t have a specific target, just a general interest. So what does he do?”
“Get to the point.”
“He focuses his attention on the most desirable man he can find, which in our work environment happens to be yours truly.”
“Do I need to take you to the department shrink? Hallucinations can be dangerous.”
“I got you going, didn’t I?”
“Well… yeah.”
“And he knows me, so I’m a safe target. He wants to experiment with a safe guy, who also happens to be irresistible. Bit like when I gave you a crash course to man-on-man action, except that he doesn’t want a real relationship.”
“You deduced that from the fact that he keeps asking me about our sexlife?”
“That, and some other signs.”
“What signs?”
“When I had that scene in that canned food factory-”
“You mean when you smelled like rotting fish?”
“Yeah. I got back to the lab, logged in my samples and due to popular demand I decided to take a shower.” Greg snatched one of Nick’s spring rolls and swallowed it in one piece. “Warrick came in when was rubbing myself-”
“In the communal shower?”
“Rubbing myself with soap and a sponge. Try to keep your mind off the gutter. I know it’s hard when I’m right here, but at least try.”
“You were in the shower and Warrick walked in, then what?”
“He had the shower next to me and I saw him looking at me more than once.”
“Where?”
“Up and down.”
“You mean…”
“Yep. Full package check. Then he left in a hurry and didn’t even look me in the eye.”
“Why would he look you in the eye after that?”
“He made some stupid excuse for skipping soap and a scrub. Based on what I saw under his towel he didn’t wanna take the risk of making the situation more obvious.”
“I’m gonna have to kill him…”
“Calm down.”
“Calm down?! He was checking you out in the shower!”
“All the guys do that.”
“No, we don’t! Well… I do, but it’s not normal!”
“Nicky…”
“I’m overreacting, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, not that I’m not flattered.”
“So I don’t need to kill him?”
“What did curiosity do to the cat?”
“It killed it.”
“Exactly, it’s like that cat.”
“Cat?”
“The one on the news. It wandered into a microwave and someone slammed the door shut.”
“What does that have to do with Warrick?”
“Best way to get over curiosity is to find a safe way to satisfy it. You’re his number one buddy, so it’s your duty.”
“If the next words out of your mouth are "Take one for the team", I’ll snap your scrawny little neck…”
“I wasn’t gonna say that!”
“You weren’t?”
“No. But it would be a lot easier if Warrick was an artist.” Greg sighed heavily. “It would make it so much simpler.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“It’s one of the rules. There`s different rules for artists, they can get away with some stuff we normal people can`t, and people just say it`s part of the whole bohemian lifestyle. Artists are allowed to spend all night out, getting wasted, sleeping around and waking up in his own vomit.”
“Warrick can sleep around and wake up in his own vomit.”
“But he works nights, there’s no nightlife during daylight hours.”
“Right…”
“I know how it goes, if you start on your own. First it’s just a weekend thing, little bit with buddies or go to a bar for a few beers and then sneak into the bathroom… then it starts to take over your life. You start taking breaks just for a quick one in the storage room… with you back against the rubber glove boxes…”
“Are you talking about Warrick`s issues or your smoking?”
“Yeah… my mind’s wielding… But I’ve been smoke free for two weeks now!”
“I know, but I don’t think that has anything to do with Warrick.”
“My stories may stray, but there’s always a point. I’ll show you.” Greg leaped up and started rummaging through the content of the bookshelf. “I got a guide here somewhere… Ahaa!” He pulled out a large colourful book. He handed it over to Nick who took a long look at the cover.
“Spring-cleaning Downstairs: Beginners guide to psychosexual analysis.”
“Great book.”
“Why do have stuff like this?”
“I got that from my mom as a birthday present when I turned fourteen. I wanted a new surfboard, but that book has served me well.”
“You got this from your mom? When I turned fourteen I got my brother’s old bike.”
“Yeah, I’m lucky. I know.” Greg sighed with a sappy grin. “But back to Warrick.”
“You’ll send this book to Warrick?”
“No, I was thinking we could give him some training. You can’t just kick him to the man-pool without any training or he’ll drown. You wanna live with that on your conscience?”
“No, I… Wait a minute. Man-pool?”
“Dude selection, male assortment, guy repertory-”
“I got the picture.”
“Good, because he’s your friend more than mine. You should be watching out for him.”
“So you’re trying to pin the whole thing on me!”
“Nope, I’m suggesting we offer him some subtle consultation to ease his way into the wonderful world of man-action.”
“What exactly do you have in mind?”
“Weeeellll…” Greg smirked like a cat who got the canary. He leaned over Nick and pressed him down against the couch cushions, pressing their bodies together. He brought his mouth next to the man’s ear and whispered his idea.
Nick’s face turned blank. His cheeks were flaming red under his tan.
“Nicky?”
“Say that again.”
“Okay dokie.” Greg leaned close again and repeated his suggestion. He glanced down at Nick’s crotch, and started laughing. “You can’t claim you’re not interested.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yeah.”
“But what do we do afterwards?”
“We’ll teach him to swim and then we’ll throw him to the sharks. And then I’ll show you a live version of page ninety-seven.”
Nick grabbed the book from the table and browsed through the pages till he found the page ninety-seven.
“You got a deal, G.”
Chapter 2/3