Fic: Soaps R Us, Chapter 20 (CSI/CSI NY/CSI Miami, Ryan / Eric, Nick / Greg, Flack / Hawkes)
Title: Soaps R Us, Chapter 20
Pairing: Nick Stokes / Greg Sanders,
Ryan Wolfe / Eric Delko,
Don Flack / Sheldon Hawkes
Rating: PG
Genre: AU
Disclaimer: Not mine, etc.
Feedback: Always Welcome
Summery: Daytime soap Lights of Vegas has a new head writer. Life and fiction don’t always mix nicely, and the line between the two can be very narrow.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 (NC-17)
Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19
CSI Las Vegas Main List CSI Miami Main List CSI New York Main List
“I’ll kill him.” Sara marched into the set and tore the jacket off Eric. “I’ll kill him slowly and painfully….”
“Now what?”
“Didn’t you take a look at this before you put it on?”
“No. I s it torn or something?”
“No, Adam’s ruined this one too.”
“What did he do?”
“It’s that time of year again. He’s shedding like a sheepdog.”
“It can’t be that bad-”
“Take a look at this coat.”
“Okay, it is that bad.”
“I’ll see if I can salvage this, you’re on a break anyway, right?”
“For ten minutes.”
“Guys.” Don greeted and walked closer. “Little warning: We’re tightening the security.”
“Is this about the Robinson thing?”
“And some other stuff. All security passes will be checked twice. First at the gate, and again when you pass the lobby.”
“What good will that do?” Sara frowned. “I’m going back and forth all day and no one ever asks my pass.”
“Because they ask it when you first come in and they need to check other people too, not one woman again and again.”
“Are you and Hawkes fighting again?”
“When are we not fighting? And why do you ask?”
Sara glanced past him again.
“Because he’s coming down the hallway like a tank looking for a fight.”
“Flack. We need to settle some things.” Hawkes marched up to them and grabbed Don by the shoulders. He shoved him against the set wall, plastering their bodies together. “Public enough?”
“Well…” Don looked over his shoulder and chuckled. “Delko, Siddle and six others. Enough for now.”
Hawkes nodded and kissed him. Somewhere behind him he could hear faint giggles and someone, probably Eric, applauding. They finally had to pull away from each other when someone tapped Sheldon’s shoulder.
“Not that I don’t enjoy the scenery.” Sara commented. “But if you don’t find a better place for that, you’ll fall through the wall. Sets aren’t that sturdy.”
“No problem.” Don grinned. “Hold on.”
“To what?”
Don’s hand snaked across Sheldon`s back while his other hand wandered down behind his legs. Before Hawkes could react, Don had grabbed him into a his arms bridal style. Hawkes wrapped his hands around the man’s neck in panic.
“What the hell are you doing? Put me down.”
“You got a couch in your office.”
“I know, but I can walk there all by myself!”
“Shut up or I’ll throw you on my shoulder. You like that better?”
“No, but I…I mean….” He glanced down. “What the hell, I already made a show out of this… Just don’t drop me and don’t make this a daily habit.”
The group of crew members parted like the red sea. All eyes followed the two men all the way to the hallway.
“Poor guy.” Sara sighed. “I actually feel sorry for him.”
“Which one?”
“Flack. Hawkes`s room’s in the second floor.”
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“We could just get the cleaning crew here.” Greg sighed. “You don’t need to do this.”
“It’s just so cruel.” Nick continued emptying the dressing table and packing the things into moving boxes. “Catherine worked here for almost twenty years and now they don’t even let her here to empty her dressing room.”
“I know, but it`s not my decision." Greg eyed the dressing room. "She had a lot of crap here.”
“Yeah. I’m not sure why she didn’t just throw some of this stuff away.”
“Memories, I guess.” Greg picked up a box and started to unload clothes from a rack. “We live in L.A. who the hell wears fur here?”
“It can get chilly in the winter.”
“True, but I didn’t mean the weather. Old crow in a fur coat, it’s a wonder she didn’t get attacked with a can of spray-paint.”
“I didn’t think about it like that…” Nick frowned. “Have you decided how you’ll write her out?”
“Her character flew to Germany where she hired a group of scientists to clone her.”
“So she’ll be back?”
“No, the clone will come back. Or just come, you can’t come back if you haven’t been here before. We’re having a meeting next week with the casting department to plan the re-casting.”
“How can she be a clone if she doesn’t look the same as the original?”
“The clone will be born as a normal baby and then we’ll SORAS the hell out of her.”
“This is probably a dumb question….”
“But you want to know what SORAS stands for.”
“I’ve heard it over and over again, but I can never remember it.”
“Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome. But in this case the whole character is basically a younger version of an old character, so wouldn’t that be un-SORAS-ing?”
Nick gave him a disbelieving look.
“I lost sight of the actual topic about three miles ago.”
“Me too.” Greg admitted. “Let’s just get back to packing.”
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“I’m scrubbed, pumped and ready to roar.” Eric announced. He grabbed his phone and wallet from the dressing room table. “Your place or mine?”
“You got a bigger fridge." Ryan reminded. "I’ll need to store a lot of stuff if I’m gonna make my lasagne tomorrow.”
“How much stuff do you need for a lasagne?”
“I always make large portions, that way we`ll have leftovers for a week. It’s been a while since I’ve had anyone to cook for, so I’m going to feed you till you explode.”
“I don’t mind.”
“And you got a bigger bed.”
“Food and bed. Gotta love a man who has healthy priorities.”
“And according to the papers, your bed is strong enough to carry four grown men and five cheerleaders.”
“That story was totally wrong.” Eric protested. “It was two men and three cheerleaders.”
“The good old days?”
“The itchy old days. I cursed all the way to the clinic.”
“Something I should know about?”
“No, just something really itchy and scratchy. I haven’t scratched myself like that since we did that episode on location couple years ago and I fell into some poison ivy.”
“As fascinating as that is, you shouldn’t waste those behind the scenes stories on me. I’ve seen weird stuff backstage you wouldn’t believe. When I was working on Greg’s last show, I caught one of their leading ladies in her dressing room.”
“With a guy?”
“Well…”
“A girl?”
“Not exactly.”
“Tell me.”
Ryan leaned closer and whispered five words into Eric’s ear. He pulled back and grinned at the reaction.
Eric was speechless.
“Is… it that… Is that even possible?”
“It is, and it was just as disgusting as it sounds. Good thing I’ll never write my memoirs or some people would die of embarrassment.” Ryan smirked. “Are you sure you’re okay to drive?”
“After getting that picture stuck in my head? You better drive, we came in your car anyway. You got everything?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Ryan checked his pockets. “I just need to leave my scene notes for Greg. I’ll meet you at the parking lot.”
“If you can’t see me there, check the bathrooms.” Eric advised. “In case I’ve lost my lunch because of your story.”
“Be good and I’ll tell you the sequel later.”
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“Stokes.”
“Hey, man.” Speed sounded unusually winded. “I need an honest opinion.”
“Be quick. I was just on my way out, I’m meeting Greg at that new seafood place.”
“This won’t take long. Am I flabby?”
“Yes. Anything else?”
“You didn’t even think about it!”
“Just trust my honesty. Why are you asking?”
“We had the first full dress rehearsal yesterday.”
“With the loincloth and all?”
“Yep. The local paper made a story about it.”
“Is this conversation going anywhere?”
“Listen to this: It is hard to say what was the most interesting factor in the former child star’s performance. The lack of vocal prowess, absence of all genuine emotion, stilted delivery or his flabby, whale-like curves which were inflicted upon the unsuspecting viewers.”
“That’s… We’ll no one’s at their best in rehearsals.” Nick took a deep breath to keep himself from laughing. “Why are you so out of breath?”
“I’m on a treadmill, I joined the gym. When the opening night comes, by ass will be so tight you’ll need a crowbar to remove my loincloth.” Speed’s voice disappeared for a minute. “I shouldn’t have said it like that. One of the bodybuilders is giving me funny looks.”
“Maybe he recognised you.”
“No, he definitely heard me. He’s making some pretty…. suggestive gestures. In a leotard. I can see…. Everything. At least almost everything.”
“What is he doing?”
“He’s bench pressing.”
“Then it’s okay. When you’re bench pressing, you’re supposed to lay on your back and spread your legs for balance.”
“Not much of a loss…. Either he’s been using steroids or he was always the tiniest guy in the locker-room.”
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Ryan knew something was wrong as soon as he walked into Greg’s office. The room was dark, but streetlights were flooding through the window. The desk looked the same as it always did: Papers in hazardous stacks, an opened bag of gummy bears, pens and small colourful notes stuck to all available surfaces.
He saw a shadowy figure in the corner of his eye. Something hit him and he collapsed on the thick carpet. The pain overrun the sudden panic. He forced his eyes open and stared at the fuzzy surface of the rug. He could feel a warm moisture trickling down his face.
The carpet under his head was slowly turning dark red.
Chapter 21