Fic: Scattered Echoes (Harry Potter -- Sirius/Remus) PG
Title: Scattered Echoes (23/31)
Author: kingzgurl
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,465
Timeline: Half-Blood Prince
Prompt: dogdaysofsummer 23 August 2009
Summary: As he watches fiendfyre destroy the last of his friends, Remus realizes he is truly alone.
***
The fire popped and hissed, burning Remus’ eyes as he stared into it without blinking. Behind him Christmas Eve was carrying on as a happy affair. Everyone in the Weasleys’ “extended” family was gathered together, talking, laughing, listening to music, and generally enjoying themselves, but Remus sat apart from them, lost in his own thoughts.
Two Christmases, he thought to himself. I only got two Christmases with Sirius. His heart ached with loss, a feeling that was more acute now that the holidays were near and everyone was gathered together. Everyone there had someone to love or spend time with, everyone that was, except Remus.
He unconsciously toyed with a tiny hourglass that hung on a gold chain around his neck. The sand was permanently fixed in either side of the glass, and no matter which way it was turned the sand remained stationary. It had been a Christmas gift from Sirius the year they were fresh out of Hogwarts, and he wore it daily because it was his most prized possession, and because it could not betray him should he be captured or interrogated. It was a little piece of Sirius he could carry with him, something only he would understand. It offered him a small comfort that he needed, especially on Christmas Eve when surrounded by a happy family, and even more so when the full moon fell on said Christmas Eve.
He carefully drank from a steaming cup of Wolfsbane potion, making sure not to spill any. If he was going to have to spend the holidays here, the lease he could do was make sure he didn’t go on a blood-thirsty rampage and bite or kill everyone in the house.
He desired nothing more than to throw himself into the fire at that moment. It was a morbid and morose thought, but he wondered how badly he would have to burn himself to die. Would the living room fire do it? Perhaps if he silenced his voice and came down once everyone else was in bed… he contemplated, still staring into the depth of the fire. Or he could step outside and conjure fiendfyre, he thought. He’d sure die if he waved the fiendfyre over himself.
Remus flinched when Molly sat down next to him and he tried to avoid her eyes when she questioned him about Tonks’ whereabouts for the holiday. He gave her tired, one-word responses until she eventually gave up and went back to the kitchen.
Tonks had been trying to get his attention since shortly after Sirius’ death and Molly had been assisting her by trying to persuade Remus. It was bothersome and insensitive, though neither of the women knew it because they had not been aware that Remus and Sirius had been bonded. To Remus, at least, it seemed as if Tonks had been waiting for her cousin to step out of the picture so she could have a go at him. Therefore he was extremely thankful that she was not there to pester him for the holiday, and instead he was left alone to brood in his own despair.
Soon after, or it might’ve been hours later, people began drifting upstairs to their sleeping quarters for the night. Finally, once the room was empty, Remus stood and went to the window, his body screaming from tension that strained his muscles and pulled them tight over his joints. He looked up at the glowing orb in the sky, and a single word came to mind: radish. A smile crossed his features for the first time in months, and he leaned against the window sill to support his weight.
“Radish,” he giggled softly, staring out at the night sky. One summer, back when they were in school, they had been invited over to the Potters’ for dinner. Sirius had waved a radish on a fork at him, teased him, and told him that he shouldn’t be afraid of the moon, he should be afraid of radishes. For the following year, instead of calling it “moon,” they had called it “radish,” to the complete confusion of their entire house, not to mention the poor Astronomy teacher who had to read essays about the “great radish in the sky.” Sirius had gotten a B on that essay, much to his amusement.
“Remus?” a voice asked softly from behind him. “You okay?”
He tried to control the stupid smile on his face when he glanced back at Harry, but gave up after only a few moments. The smile felt too good on his face to try to wipe it away.
The grandfather clock ticked in the background, counting down the minutes until the full moon.
“The night is black
The stars are small and high
A radish rises in the waiting sky,” Remus recited, laughing at the memory from sixth year when Sirius had written a poem about radishes.
Harry looked on as if Remus had lost his mind, which Remus supposed he possibly, probably, had. Sirius always said he was more carefree when the full moon approached, and for the first time, Remus had to admit it was true. He was depressed and broken-hearted, but though he hated to admit it, the night of the full moon gave him freedom. For a few hours, he did not have to hide who he was.
“What?” Harry asked, confused.
“The moon,” Remus gestured at the window. “I should go. It’s almost time.”
Harry stared up at the moon-radish and asked quietly, “Will you come back down after?”
“Yes,” Remus replied, instinctively knowing Harry was missing Sirius, too. “I’ll be back.”
With that, he disappeared up the stairs to Bill’s bedroom for the transformation. A few painful minutes later, a large sandy-colored wolf walked down the stairs. Harry still stood at the window, not bothering to look back at Remus, even when the wolf walked up beside Harry and nudged at his hand.
Harry scratched the wolf behind the ears and patted him gently on the head. He wandered away from the window and back to the couch, where the wolf jumped up next to him and curled up with his head on Harry’s leg.
“I miss him,” Harry whispered, adopting Remus’ pose from earlier in the evening and staring into the fire.
“I know you were close,” he stroked between the wolf’s ears. “Closer than you ever told me, anyway. You made him happy.” Harry’s eyes quickly filled with tears and he did not bother to fight them as they began to slide down his face.
Remus listened to Harry and wished there was more he could do for the boy, but he knew that Harry would not be comfortable talking to him this way if he was in human form. The wolf offered a barrier, a protection against too much emotion. Remus whimpered as his own memories of Sirius surfaced.
Since being reunited with Sirius, they had spent every full moon together, Moony and Padfoot, wolf and dog. Before the Wolfsbane potion, Padfoot was there to protect people from Moony, but once he began taking the potion, Moony and Padfoot had gotten closer and played more, like Sirius and Remus had.
They were mates in animal form long before they were bonded in their human forms, and the wolf raised his head slightly to let out a sorrow-filled howl over the loss of its mate. Moony had never been fond of being part of a pack, which is why Remus found it so difficult to live with the werewolves as he had been doing for many months at Dumbledore’s request, but he had found great pleasure in having a single companion with him through every moon.
“I just wish,” Harry’s voice constricted tightly and he choked on a sob, prompting Moony to nudge his nose against Harry’s stomach. “I wish we had more time together, you know? We never had the chance to do everything we talked about doing…” Harry was rambling, but Moony did nothing except nuzzle into the hand that was resting on his snout.
Moony waited patiently until Harry had finally passed out from exhaustion and tears, curled up into the arm of the sofa, and Remus was reminded just how very young Harry was. He slipped out from under Harry’s arm and made his way outside and around the house until he found the Dog Star high in the sky, shining brightly down upon him. He curled up under an old blanket with his head resting on his front paws and stared up at the night sky. He could feel his mate looking down on him from his namesake, and he howled mournfully to let Sirius know how much he missed him, and that he was thinking of him on the frosty, Christmas Eve.
***
Reading Order: Previous. Next
Chronologically: Previous. Next.
Author: kingzgurl
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,465
Timeline: Half-Blood Prince
Prompt: dogdaysofsummer 23 August 2009
Summary: As he watches fiendfyre destroy the last of his friends, Remus realizes he is truly alone.
***
The fire popped and hissed, burning Remus’ eyes as he stared into it without blinking. Behind him Christmas Eve was carrying on as a happy affair. Everyone in the Weasleys’ “extended” family was gathered together, talking, laughing, listening to music, and generally enjoying themselves, but Remus sat apart from them, lost in his own thoughts.
Two Christmases, he thought to himself. I only got two Christmases with Sirius. His heart ached with loss, a feeling that was more acute now that the holidays were near and everyone was gathered together. Everyone there had someone to love or spend time with, everyone that was, except Remus.
He unconsciously toyed with a tiny hourglass that hung on a gold chain around his neck. The sand was permanently fixed in either side of the glass, and no matter which way it was turned the sand remained stationary. It had been a Christmas gift from Sirius the year they were fresh out of Hogwarts, and he wore it daily because it was his most prized possession, and because it could not betray him should he be captured or interrogated. It was a little piece of Sirius he could carry with him, something only he would understand. It offered him a small comfort that he needed, especially on Christmas Eve when surrounded by a happy family, and even more so when the full moon fell on said Christmas Eve.
He carefully drank from a steaming cup of Wolfsbane potion, making sure not to spill any. If he was going to have to spend the holidays here, the lease he could do was make sure he didn’t go on a blood-thirsty rampage and bite or kill everyone in the house.
He desired nothing more than to throw himself into the fire at that moment. It was a morbid and morose thought, but he wondered how badly he would have to burn himself to die. Would the living room fire do it? Perhaps if he silenced his voice and came down once everyone else was in bed… he contemplated, still staring into the depth of the fire. Or he could step outside and conjure fiendfyre, he thought. He’d sure die if he waved the fiendfyre over himself.
Remus flinched when Molly sat down next to him and he tried to avoid her eyes when she questioned him about Tonks’ whereabouts for the holiday. He gave her tired, one-word responses until she eventually gave up and went back to the kitchen.
Tonks had been trying to get his attention since shortly after Sirius’ death and Molly had been assisting her by trying to persuade Remus. It was bothersome and insensitive, though neither of the women knew it because they had not been aware that Remus and Sirius had been bonded. To Remus, at least, it seemed as if Tonks had been waiting for her cousin to step out of the picture so she could have a go at him. Therefore he was extremely thankful that she was not there to pester him for the holiday, and instead he was left alone to brood in his own despair.
Soon after, or it might’ve been hours later, people began drifting upstairs to their sleeping quarters for the night. Finally, once the room was empty, Remus stood and went to the window, his body screaming from tension that strained his muscles and pulled them tight over his joints. He looked up at the glowing orb in the sky, and a single word came to mind: radish. A smile crossed his features for the first time in months, and he leaned against the window sill to support his weight.
“Radish,” he giggled softly, staring out at the night sky. One summer, back when they were in school, they had been invited over to the Potters’ for dinner. Sirius had waved a radish on a fork at him, teased him, and told him that he shouldn’t be afraid of the moon, he should be afraid of radishes. For the following year, instead of calling it “moon,” they had called it “radish,” to the complete confusion of their entire house, not to mention the poor Astronomy teacher who had to read essays about the “great radish in the sky.” Sirius had gotten a B on that essay, much to his amusement.
“Remus?” a voice asked softly from behind him. “You okay?”
He tried to control the stupid smile on his face when he glanced back at Harry, but gave up after only a few moments. The smile felt too good on his face to try to wipe it away.
The grandfather clock ticked in the background, counting down the minutes until the full moon.
“The night is black
The stars are small and high
A radish rises in the waiting sky,” Remus recited, laughing at the memory from sixth year when Sirius had written a poem about radishes.
Harry looked on as if Remus had lost his mind, which Remus supposed he possibly, probably, had. Sirius always said he was more carefree when the full moon approached, and for the first time, Remus had to admit it was true. He was depressed and broken-hearted, but though he hated to admit it, the night of the full moon gave him freedom. For a few hours, he did not have to hide who he was.
“What?” Harry asked, confused.
“The moon,” Remus gestured at the window. “I should go. It’s almost time.”
Harry stared up at the moon-radish and asked quietly, “Will you come back down after?”
“Yes,” Remus replied, instinctively knowing Harry was missing Sirius, too. “I’ll be back.”
With that, he disappeared up the stairs to Bill’s bedroom for the transformation. A few painful minutes later, a large sandy-colored wolf walked down the stairs. Harry still stood at the window, not bothering to look back at Remus, even when the wolf walked up beside Harry and nudged at his hand.
Harry scratched the wolf behind the ears and patted him gently on the head. He wandered away from the window and back to the couch, where the wolf jumped up next to him and curled up with his head on Harry’s leg.
“I miss him,” Harry whispered, adopting Remus’ pose from earlier in the evening and staring into the fire.
“I know you were close,” he stroked between the wolf’s ears. “Closer than you ever told me, anyway. You made him happy.” Harry’s eyes quickly filled with tears and he did not bother to fight them as they began to slide down his face.
Remus listened to Harry and wished there was more he could do for the boy, but he knew that Harry would not be comfortable talking to him this way if he was in human form. The wolf offered a barrier, a protection against too much emotion. Remus whimpered as his own memories of Sirius surfaced.
Since being reunited with Sirius, they had spent every full moon together, Moony and Padfoot, wolf and dog. Before the Wolfsbane potion, Padfoot was there to protect people from Moony, but once he began taking the potion, Moony and Padfoot had gotten closer and played more, like Sirius and Remus had.
They were mates in animal form long before they were bonded in their human forms, and the wolf raised his head slightly to let out a sorrow-filled howl over the loss of its mate. Moony had never been fond of being part of a pack, which is why Remus found it so difficult to live with the werewolves as he had been doing for many months at Dumbledore’s request, but he had found great pleasure in having a single companion with him through every moon.
“I just wish,” Harry’s voice constricted tightly and he choked on a sob, prompting Moony to nudge his nose against Harry’s stomach. “I wish we had more time together, you know? We never had the chance to do everything we talked about doing…” Harry was rambling, but Moony did nothing except nuzzle into the hand that was resting on his snout.
Moony waited patiently until Harry had finally passed out from exhaustion and tears, curled up into the arm of the sofa, and Remus was reminded just how very young Harry was. He slipped out from under Harry’s arm and made his way outside and around the house until he found the Dog Star high in the sky, shining brightly down upon him. He curled up under an old blanket with his head resting on his front paws and stared up at the night sky. He could feel his mate looking down on him from his namesake, and he howled mournfully to let Sirius know how much he missed him, and that he was thinking of him on the frosty, Christmas Eve.
***
Reading Order: Previous. Next
Chronologically: Previous. Next.