Fic: Scattered Echoes (Harry Potter -- Sirius/Remus) PG
Title: Scattered Echoes (12/31)
Author: kingzgurl
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Timeline: Goblet of Fire
Prompt: dogdaysofsummer 12 August 2009
Summary: As he watches fiendfyre destroy the last of his friends, Remus realizes he is truly alone.
***
The room was quiet, the sound punctuated only by steady breathing and the gentle hum of the television where the film had long-since ended.
“What do you remember?” Remus asked finally.
Sirius pulled his face away from Remus’ shirt, turning so that his ear rested just above his lover’s heart, his eyes still closed against the overbearing brightness in the room. “That afternoon,” he whispered after another few moments of silence. “When we went down to the train yard. Just you and me, because Peter was grounded and James was away somewhere.”
Remus bit the inside of his lip to repress a smile.
“It was the day before the full moon,” he continued. “Which is why we spray painted our names on the trains… you were always more open to causing trouble on the day of the full moon. Less stingy about getting detention or grounded.” His voice was thick with pain and hurt.
Remus did not understand Sirius’ tone, but he continued to soothingly stroke the long, dark hair spread across his chest.
“I thought we were having a good time,” his voice cracked. “But every time we got close enough to touch, you jerked away. Even our hands, Moony,” Sirius had given up trying to hide how he was feeling. “You couldn’t even touch my hand.”
Remus could feel his heart sinking into his stomach. That was not the memory he had of the day spent causing trouble in the train yard, but maybe his memories were wrong. Maybe he had fooled himself into remembering things the way they should have been, with shocks of electricity coursing through their veins anytime their bodies were within inches of contact. Maybe he had imagined standing by the canal and wishing for Sirius to kiss him, while Sirius had given him that look of pure hunger and lust. Maybe he had imagined it all.
“I would have done anything for you that day,” Sirius whispered, almost inaudibly. “All you had to do was ask. But you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Sirius-” he whispered just as softly.
The broken-hearted man whimpered and continued to speak as if Remus wasn’t even there. “I nicked your tie that day… wore it around the house and at school… you never noticed. I never went near another train after that.”
Remus tightened his hold on the other man, his heart shattering as Sirius continued to speak almost incoherently. Memory after memory, moment after moment, spun and twisted to only reveal the hurt of rejection and the pain of loneliness.
“All I wanted was you, Moony,” he sobbed into the well-worn flannel of Remus’ shirt. “I promised you I’d take you to Rome, and I couldn’t even do that. It’s no wonder you never wanted me.”
This is what twelve years in Azkaban had left them: one man doubting the validity of his own memories, while the truthfulness of memories was ripped away from the grasping hand of the other.
***
Reading Order: Previous. Next
Chronologically: Previous. Next.
Author: kingzgurl
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Rating: PG
Word Count: 500
Timeline: Goblet of Fire
Prompt: dogdaysofsummer 12 August 2009
Summary: As he watches fiendfyre destroy the last of his friends, Remus realizes he is truly alone.
***
The room was quiet, the sound punctuated only by steady breathing and the gentle hum of the television where the film had long-since ended.
“What do you remember?” Remus asked finally.
Sirius pulled his face away from Remus’ shirt, turning so that his ear rested just above his lover’s heart, his eyes still closed against the overbearing brightness in the room. “That afternoon,” he whispered after another few moments of silence. “When we went down to the train yard. Just you and me, because Peter was grounded and James was away somewhere.”
Remus bit the inside of his lip to repress a smile.
“It was the day before the full moon,” he continued. “Which is why we spray painted our names on the trains… you were always more open to causing trouble on the day of the full moon. Less stingy about getting detention or grounded.” His voice was thick with pain and hurt.
Remus did not understand Sirius’ tone, but he continued to soothingly stroke the long, dark hair spread across his chest.
“I thought we were having a good time,” his voice cracked. “But every time we got close enough to touch, you jerked away. Even our hands, Moony,” Sirius had given up trying to hide how he was feeling. “You couldn’t even touch my hand.”
Remus could feel his heart sinking into his stomach. That was not the memory he had of the day spent causing trouble in the train yard, but maybe his memories were wrong. Maybe he had fooled himself into remembering things the way they should have been, with shocks of electricity coursing through their veins anytime their bodies were within inches of contact. Maybe he had imagined standing by the canal and wishing for Sirius to kiss him, while Sirius had given him that look of pure hunger and lust. Maybe he had imagined it all.
“I would have done anything for you that day,” Sirius whispered, almost inaudibly. “All you had to do was ask. But you didn’t want anything to do with me.”
“Sirius-” he whispered just as softly.
The broken-hearted man whimpered and continued to speak as if Remus wasn’t even there. “I nicked your tie that day… wore it around the house and at school… you never noticed. I never went near another train after that.”
Remus tightened his hold on the other man, his heart shattering as Sirius continued to speak almost incoherently. Memory after memory, moment after moment, spun and twisted to only reveal the hurt of rejection and the pain of loneliness.
“All I wanted was you, Moony,” he sobbed into the well-worn flannel of Remus’ shirt. “I promised you I’d take you to Rome, and I couldn’t even do that. It’s no wonder you never wanted me.”
This is what twelve years in Azkaban had left them: one man doubting the validity of his own memories, while the truthfulness of memories was ripped away from the grasping hand of the other.
***
Reading Order: Previous. Next
Chronologically: Previous. Next.