[The Den] Highwayman: Acquisition / Mummy Dearest
"Here's somewhere I haven't been in a while," Cassidy remarked as the group came through the gates of the Den, Bess in tow. "Last I recall, the locals ain't too friendly, save a few."
"Not much has changed there," Sativa replied, with Vic voicing his agreement.
"I'm still real grateful you got me outta here, Boss. What are we doing back here, anyway? I thought we were headed south..."
"We are. I was planning on saving us some time, though. This way..."
"Hello there, cute-stuff," Smitty greeted her as she came into his junkyard office. "Hey, I see you got a few more friends those time round - Cass? That you?"
The aging adventurer laughed. "Smitty, y'old bastard! Still tinkering around with yer old junkers?"
"You bet Cassidy. Your ticker till acting up?"
Cassidy nodded amiably. "Figured the exercise'd do me some good. At least I won't keel over washin' glasses in that dump."
"Well, it's good to see you again. Now what can old Smitty do ya all for this time?"
"Say, old timer," Sativa respectfully spoke up, "I have this thingy here that I picked up in Gecko..." She showed him the car part she'd gotten from the ghoul mechanic in exchange for the super tool kit from Vic's daughter in Vault City.
"Well now, that looks to me like it's an old fuel cell controller. Hmm, I bet if I used that with the old Highwayman in the yard I could get her purring like a kitten," Smitty replied.
"Is it still for sale?"
Smitty nodded. "You betcha. Here's the deal: you give me $2,000 and I'll sell you the car. Heck, I'll even install the fuel cell controller for you. Should run good as new. I'll even charge it up with some extra micro fusion power cells I got."
"How about I give you the part, you make sure it works, then we give you the money." At least now she had enough money now. They'd picked up a lot of good junk during their travels, made a few good deals and were now Rolling In It, as the saying goes.
"All right, it's a deal. Come back in a couple hours, she should be up and running by then.
They shook on it, and on handing over the part the group decided to wander around the town to kill time. Things were a little better since last time. The child pickpockets normally seen loitering by doorways were absent, thanks to the establishment of Mom's Orphanage, now running full swing under the upkeep of the former squatters. Burn-out junkies wandering the streets were still prevalent, however.
And the Great Ananias was still touting his House Of Mysterious Wonders. "Hello, welcome, salutations! I am the Great Ananias," the short man with the large mustache offered a slight bow, with a flourish. "I bring mysteries from near and far, friend. Mysteries from a world beyond our own... of the Netherworld."
"What kind of mysteries?" Sativa asked.
"Today, in the room within, I have, for your eyes exclusively...A Jan-u-wine Egyptian Mummy!"
"A m-mummy? Hmm, I wonder if it c-could be..." Lenny murmured to himself. "No, n-nobody could be that stupid..."
"For a person of your obvious class I would be happy to show this unique, and historic, specimen to you for a mere $25."
With money to spare and time to waste, she was seriously considering it. But not without a little haggling. "Make that for a group viewing and you've got a deal."
The Great Ananias might have tried pushing it, but business was slow. "You drive a hard bargain, friend."
"OK, I'll cough up the dough. Now... Show Me The Mummy!"
He stood to one side on collecting payment, instructing, "Simply open the sarcophagus lid and the marvelous Mummy will be revealed, in all its ancient glory, to you! ...But please, no touching, and, uh, no flash photography."
"Fla-what? Just let us in..."
They were directed to a poorly painted, chipped and cracked paper-mache sarcophagus leaning upright against the opposite wall. The door to the sarcophagus swung open to reveal a desiccated corpse, the skin flaking off the mottled-brown, atrophied flesh, narrow strands of something that's a little too papery to be actual cloth wrapped around its skeletal form.
"Wow, that's fantastic... I guess," Vic remarked.
"That's a mummy?" Cassidy asked. "I can't believe we just paid $25 to see a six-foot hunk of jerky."
Sativa stared at the 'mummy' intently, examining its facial features in particular. "Hey, wait a minute. That's not a Mummy. That's a ghoul," she exclaimed in realization. "WOODY! Hey WOODY! Is that you?"
Woody was a name she'd heard in Gecko - the friend of Percy Crump, Master Merchant, who'd been worried that he'd gone missing. Her only clues were that he liked to travel, had been head to the Den and was a heavy sleeper. Slept like the dead, you might say. Well, now the pieces were coming together.
Sure enough the Mummy started to stir, snorted, stretched languidly, and then looked at her with a sleepy blink to it's eyes. "Hello," he rasped, sleepily.
"I assure you that the Mummy is, in fact," Ananias insisted with diminishing credibility, "Quite jan-u-wine."
"Holy shit! That is Woody!" Cassidy exclaimed. They all started urging for him to get up and get out of there. "Run Woody, run for it! Well, uh, gimp for it then! Go Woody go!"
Woody - for it was in fact Woody, not a Mummy, standing somewhat drowsily before them - grabbed the sides of the papier-mache sarcophagus, let out a shriek and ran (or at least hobbled) for the door, leaving a trail of toilet-paper 'mummy-wrappings' and a hasty "Thankee kindly, Stranger!" behind him.
"Go Woody go!" Cassidy whooped after the escaping ghoul.
They vacated the premises, leaving the not-so-Great Ananias to simply shrug and say, "I knew I should have picked up that mono-headed Brahmin instead. Oh well, back to the drawing board."
"Not much has changed there," Sativa replied, with Vic voicing his agreement.
"I'm still real grateful you got me outta here, Boss. What are we doing back here, anyway? I thought we were headed south..."
"We are. I was planning on saving us some time, though. This way..."
"Hello there, cute-stuff," Smitty greeted her as she came into his junkyard office. "Hey, I see you got a few more friends those time round - Cass? That you?"
The aging adventurer laughed. "Smitty, y'old bastard! Still tinkering around with yer old junkers?"
"You bet Cassidy. Your ticker till acting up?"
Cassidy nodded amiably. "Figured the exercise'd do me some good. At least I won't keel over washin' glasses in that dump."
"Well, it's good to see you again. Now what can old Smitty do ya all for this time?"
"Say, old timer," Sativa respectfully spoke up, "I have this thingy here that I picked up in Gecko..." She showed him the car part she'd gotten from the ghoul mechanic in exchange for the super tool kit from Vic's daughter in Vault City.
"Well now, that looks to me like it's an old fuel cell controller. Hmm, I bet if I used that with the old Highwayman in the yard I could get her purring like a kitten," Smitty replied.
"Is it still for sale?"
Smitty nodded. "You betcha. Here's the deal: you give me $2,000 and I'll sell you the car. Heck, I'll even install the fuel cell controller for you. Should run good as new. I'll even charge it up with some extra micro fusion power cells I got."
"How about I give you the part, you make sure it works, then we give you the money." At least now she had enough money now. They'd picked up a lot of good junk during their travels, made a few good deals and were now Rolling In It, as the saying goes.
"All right, it's a deal. Come back in a couple hours, she should be up and running by then.
They shook on it, and on handing over the part the group decided to wander around the town to kill time. Things were a little better since last time. The child pickpockets normally seen loitering by doorways were absent, thanks to the establishment of Mom's Orphanage, now running full swing under the upkeep of the former squatters. Burn-out junkies wandering the streets were still prevalent, however.
And the Great Ananias was still touting his House Of Mysterious Wonders. "Hello, welcome, salutations! I am the Great Ananias," the short man with the large mustache offered a slight bow, with a flourish. "I bring mysteries from near and far, friend. Mysteries from a world beyond our own... of the Netherworld."
"What kind of mysteries?" Sativa asked.
"Today, in the room within, I have, for your eyes exclusively...A Jan-u-wine Egyptian Mummy!"
"A m-mummy? Hmm, I wonder if it c-could be..." Lenny murmured to himself. "No, n-nobody could be that stupid..."
"For a person of your obvious class I would be happy to show this unique, and historic, specimen to you for a mere $25."
With money to spare and time to waste, she was seriously considering it. But not without a little haggling. "Make that for a group viewing and you've got a deal."
The Great Ananias might have tried pushing it, but business was slow. "You drive a hard bargain, friend."
"OK, I'll cough up the dough. Now... Show Me The Mummy!"
He stood to one side on collecting payment, instructing, "Simply open the sarcophagus lid and the marvelous Mummy will be revealed, in all its ancient glory, to you! ...But please, no touching, and, uh, no flash photography."
"Fla-what? Just let us in..."
They were directed to a poorly painted, chipped and cracked paper-mache sarcophagus leaning upright against the opposite wall. The door to the sarcophagus swung open to reveal a desiccated corpse, the skin flaking off the mottled-brown, atrophied flesh, narrow strands of something that's a little too papery to be actual cloth wrapped around its skeletal form.
"Wow, that's fantastic... I guess," Vic remarked.
"That's a mummy?" Cassidy asked. "I can't believe we just paid $25 to see a six-foot hunk of jerky."
Sativa stared at the 'mummy' intently, examining its facial features in particular. "Hey, wait a minute. That's not a Mummy. That's a ghoul," she exclaimed in realization. "WOODY! Hey WOODY! Is that you?"
Woody was a name she'd heard in Gecko - the friend of Percy Crump, Master Merchant, who'd been worried that he'd gone missing. Her only clues were that he liked to travel, had been head to the Den and was a heavy sleeper. Slept like the dead, you might say. Well, now the pieces were coming together.
Sure enough the Mummy started to stir, snorted, stretched languidly, and then looked at her with a sleepy blink to it's eyes. "Hello," he rasped, sleepily.
"I assure you that the Mummy is, in fact," Ananias insisted with diminishing credibility, "Quite jan-u-wine."
"Holy shit! That is Woody!" Cassidy exclaimed. They all started urging for him to get up and get out of there. "Run Woody, run for it! Well, uh, gimp for it then! Go Woody go!"
Woody - for it was in fact Woody, not a Mummy, standing somewhat drowsily before them - grabbed the sides of the papier-mache sarcophagus, let out a shriek and ran (or at least hobbled) for the door, leaving a trail of toilet-paper 'mummy-wrappings' and a hasty "Thankee kindly, Stranger!" behind him.
"Go Woody go!" Cassidy whooped after the escaping ghoul.
They vacated the premises, leaving the not-so-Great Ananias to simply shrug and say, "I knew I should have picked up that mono-headed Brahmin instead. Oh well, back to the drawing board."