DGM, "Mission Debriefing"
Warnings: Contains Lavi/Allen, long rambling stories, and sick golems. :(
Written for apapazukamori because she was having a cloudy day. ♥ Her prompts were "and then Tim ate it" and "in the wilderness".
.mission debriefing.
Komui listened to their long and rambling debriefing with his most solemn expression, pretending to take notes and thinking, Wouldn't Bookman's apprentice know how to give a concise report? while Allen and Lavi attempted to tell him about their mission.
"But by the time we got back to the rendezvous point, the boatman was gone. He hadn't left so much as a note. I sent my golem out to look for him, but frankly I wasn't holding out much hope," Lavi explained.
Allen was nodding, watching him, and then turned back to Komui. "We started walking up and down the shore, to try and find some other way of transport, but we didn't find anything."
"Except sand," Lavi added.
(It felt like they had been walking for hours. "There's sand in my boots. And in my hair," Allen said wearily. Lavi agreed in a sour mutter, "And under my eyepatch." He was lifting a hand to rub at his right eye when he caught Allen's horrified stare and stopped himself.)
According to the original mission write-up, they'd been stranded on the tropical coast for almost two days. Komui doodled little question marks on his paper and attempted to sketch a skull and crossbones. He asked, "You took care to avoid the natives, right?" The small country in which they had found themselves would most likely not recognize the language they spoke or the organization that they served, and so they had been coached to not make contact.
Allen sighed. "Yes," he muttered. "Although it made it very difficult to find food."
"Oh, yeah, this is great," Lavi said, kicking his boots up on the edge of Komui's desk. The supervisor eyed them disapprovingly. "We've been wandering for hours, right, and Allen, of course, is starving. We finally decide to go into the jungle and try to find some recognizable food, like -- bananas or something. And instead we come across this field of bright red mushrooms."
Komui paused to give Allen a piercing glare, and the young man bristled. "I didn't eat them!" he snapped.
"I wouldn't have let him eat them," Lavi assured Komui, although this didn't earn points from Allen, who leveled him with a dirty look in turn. "It's Timcanpy who suddenly flies forward and scarfs down a whole mushroom. And then Allen gets all excited and turns to me and he goes, 'Does that mean it's edible?!' with this eager look on his face--"
"I did not!"
("Tim!" Allen gasped, surging forward and grabbing the gold golem, his eyes wide with alarm. He turned back to the redhead and asked hopefully, "Is that edible?" Lavi would know, right? Lavi knew everything. Lavi was rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh, no," he said.)
Gently, Komui prompted them, "The golem. The golem came back with nothing, I assume."
"No, and very shortly after that Timcanpy was out of commission, too," Allen said, running a hand distractedly through his hair. "Link was supposed to be waiting for us at the ocean liner, but we couldn't get word to him. We decided to return to cover near the beach and camp out the night."
Then, as the report showed, the golem found them in the morning and took off for the ocean liner, and with Link's help they acquired another boatman to take them back to the ship. It was all just as reported. Komui tapped his pen against the folder thoughtfully.
"There's just one thing I don't understand," Komui said finally, setting down his pen. He had planned to ask a half-dozen nonsense questions to pad out the debriefing further, but Bridget was hovering in the doorway now, her hands on her hips and her expression very unamused. If he didn't stop using this meeting to postpone his responsibilities, she was going to make the rest of his day -- and probably tomorrow -- hell. "The nurse says you have a bad rash on your back, Allen. What happened?"
They were silent for a long moment, Lavi having found something interesting on the wall and Allen looking down at his hands.
(He twisted out of his undershirt and grabbed Lavi by his collar, dragging him closer and stepping back. He ran into a tree trunk and didn't so much as glance back, leaning his weight against it and craning into Lavi's mouth, murmuring husky approval as the older youth smoothed hands down his body, restlessly reaching for the front of his pants--)
After a few seconds, Allen said mildly, "I must've slept in some poison ivy."
Komui frowned at them. They expected him to believe that Lavi had recognized the poisonous mushrooms, and then just let Allen take a nap in a bed of poisonous ivy? They expected him to believe that they'd stripped down to sleep half-nude on the ground? That story was transparently thin--
Bridget cleared her throat, and it occurred to him that there were multiple reasons why he didn't want to press any further. There was a lady in the room, for one thing, and she worked for the Vatican, for another thing.
And finally, he just didn't really want to know.
"Okay. I'm glad we got to you two in good time, even if there were some... casualties."
"Tim's feeling much better," Allen said, sighing.
"That's all I need, so you're both free to go. But," Komui said, lifting his eyebrows so they could see how perfectly serious and completely in-the-know he was, "neither of you are ever to speak with Lenalee again."
There. Now he could rest easy, pretending he didn't know anything.
Written for apapazukamori because she was having a cloudy day. ♥ Her prompts were "and then Tim ate it" and "in the wilderness".
.mission debriefing.
Komui listened to their long and rambling debriefing with his most solemn expression, pretending to take notes and thinking, Wouldn't Bookman's apprentice know how to give a concise report? while Allen and Lavi attempted to tell him about their mission.
"But by the time we got back to the rendezvous point, the boatman was gone. He hadn't left so much as a note. I sent my golem out to look for him, but frankly I wasn't holding out much hope," Lavi explained.
Allen was nodding, watching him, and then turned back to Komui. "We started walking up and down the shore, to try and find some other way of transport, but we didn't find anything."
"Except sand," Lavi added.
(It felt like they had been walking for hours. "There's sand in my boots. And in my hair," Allen said wearily. Lavi agreed in a sour mutter, "And under my eyepatch." He was lifting a hand to rub at his right eye when he caught Allen's horrified stare and stopped himself.)
According to the original mission write-up, they'd been stranded on the tropical coast for almost two days. Komui doodled little question marks on his paper and attempted to sketch a skull and crossbones. He asked, "You took care to avoid the natives, right?" The small country in which they had found themselves would most likely not recognize the language they spoke or the organization that they served, and so they had been coached to not make contact.
Allen sighed. "Yes," he muttered. "Although it made it very difficult to find food."
"Oh, yeah, this is great," Lavi said, kicking his boots up on the edge of Komui's desk. The supervisor eyed them disapprovingly. "We've been wandering for hours, right, and Allen, of course, is starving. We finally decide to go into the jungle and try to find some recognizable food, like -- bananas or something. And instead we come across this field of bright red mushrooms."
Komui paused to give Allen a piercing glare, and the young man bristled. "I didn't eat them!" he snapped.
"I wouldn't have let him eat them," Lavi assured Komui, although this didn't earn points from Allen, who leveled him with a dirty look in turn. "It's Timcanpy who suddenly flies forward and scarfs down a whole mushroom. And then Allen gets all excited and turns to me and he goes, 'Does that mean it's edible?!' with this eager look on his face--"
"I did not!"
("Tim!" Allen gasped, surging forward and grabbing the gold golem, his eyes wide with alarm. He turned back to the redhead and asked hopefully, "Is that edible?" Lavi would know, right? Lavi knew everything. Lavi was rubbing the back of his neck. "Uh, no," he said.)
Gently, Komui prompted them, "The golem. The golem came back with nothing, I assume."
"No, and very shortly after that Timcanpy was out of commission, too," Allen said, running a hand distractedly through his hair. "Link was supposed to be waiting for us at the ocean liner, but we couldn't get word to him. We decided to return to cover near the beach and camp out the night."
Then, as the report showed, the golem found them in the morning and took off for the ocean liner, and with Link's help they acquired another boatman to take them back to the ship. It was all just as reported. Komui tapped his pen against the folder thoughtfully.
"There's just one thing I don't understand," Komui said finally, setting down his pen. He had planned to ask a half-dozen nonsense questions to pad out the debriefing further, but Bridget was hovering in the doorway now, her hands on her hips and her expression very unamused. If he didn't stop using this meeting to postpone his responsibilities, she was going to make the rest of his day -- and probably tomorrow -- hell. "The nurse says you have a bad rash on your back, Allen. What happened?"
They were silent for a long moment, Lavi having found something interesting on the wall and Allen looking down at his hands.
(He twisted out of his undershirt and grabbed Lavi by his collar, dragging him closer and stepping back. He ran into a tree trunk and didn't so much as glance back, leaning his weight against it and craning into Lavi's mouth, murmuring husky approval as the older youth smoothed hands down his body, restlessly reaching for the front of his pants--)
After a few seconds, Allen said mildly, "I must've slept in some poison ivy."
Komui frowned at them. They expected him to believe that Lavi had recognized the poisonous mushrooms, and then just let Allen take a nap in a bed of poisonous ivy? They expected him to believe that they'd stripped down to sleep half-nude on the ground? That story was transparently thin--
Bridget cleared her throat, and it occurred to him that there were multiple reasons why he didn't want to press any further. There was a lady in the room, for one thing, and she worked for the Vatican, for another thing.
And finally, he just didn't really want to know.
"Okay. I'm glad we got to you two in good time, even if there were some... casualties."
"Tim's feeling much better," Allen said, sighing.
"That's all I need, so you're both free to go. But," Komui said, lifting his eyebrows so they could see how perfectly serious and completely in-the-know he was, "neither of you are ever to speak with Lenalee again."
There. Now he could rest easy, pretending he didn't know anything.