Cullen The Herd 1.5
CAUTION: The normal 60 images = 3mb or so. Language, sexual themes, actually I think there's some actual sexy times in this. OMG! FINALLY AGAINS! Jailbaiting, and post-wedding-guest-attendance commentary so my game? Might not really be on it right now... xD xD
HELLO FAIR HERD CULL(EN)ERS! To begin this window into the lives of the herd, I bring you this pop up. Uh. So. Wardrobe. Yeah, that would've been useful to have before I spent all their money on Bathory's elder wardrobe. FORESIGHT! I CAN HAS IT!
Right?
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PS: OMG YAY LIVERPOOL ARE WINNING RIGHT NOW 2-1 AGAINST MANCHESTER UNITED! To say that my BFs family are ELATED right now would be an understatement. *giggles so hard* I think this room is kinda shaking with adrenaline. AWESOME.
Although its kind of hard to type with left hand being monopolised by excited boyfriend.. xD
Um, ANYWAY! Where was I? Oh right, captioning screenshots. Right. Yeaps.
So really weird blue clouding water droplet splashy air action aside (thick aromatherapy at the barbecue mansion thinger perhaps?) THAT'S THE WRONG CULLEN'S CROTCH YOU'RE STARING AT THERE, PERSIMMON DROP (brilliantcat)! xD
SUP ADAM WOTCHER (lauriethemuppet )!? :D :D I'm He's living in the sevehntiiies..! siii-iiixties..! And in the sixties, a simpler time perhaps, aliens were free to stand upon one stop shopping establishment verandahs and enjoy the weather. ADORABLE!
Now he'd be dragged through the desert on american Independance Day, tested on by ex-android scientists within an inexplicably bulletproof aquarium and thusly kept against his will immersed in H2O of questionable origin to bear accusations of being a mermaid by Einstein. Although I guess Einstein could be forgiven, what with catching his son constantly dipping his wick in squishy baked products and all...
Photographic preservation of the EXTREME ADORABLE ELDERNESS, for all time. This is so, in spite of the (hopefully) vampire youth forever edict of the Cullens, they shall appareciate the AWESOME of a well-preserved elder.
MAN I love me some Bathory nose.
That being said, Bathory IS getting on and she's yet to even meet any vampires ^_^;; SHE BETTER MEET WITH AN ACCOMMODATING ONE SOON, even if its just to alleviate her little worry face that breaks ma heart.
HAI THERE YOUTHFULLY ELFIN NATHAN PEET ( dothesmustle )! You gonna donate your delicious insemmination skills to the genepool o' the Cullens later? :D :D :D
Bathory: *sleeps the day away after spending the night prowling for vamps*
Deacon: Now, Miyu. Interesting tan-lines notwithstanding, I'm the man of this house and as such I feel I should be instructing you on important virtues and ideals that shall help you in your future life after I'm gone to live forever with my OTP, Hedwig Newton. Lesson one: You should learn to be MUCH nicer to people, at all opportunities.
Miyu: OKAY BROTHERRR! LETS HUG!!
Deacon: HOLY SHIT KID! HANDS TO YOURSELF, PERSONAL BUBBLE, GOD!
Bathory: *rolls over in bed to screen out the commotion*
Deacon: Yeah, not even, little girl. BAD. TOUCH.
Miyu: *dejectedly rejected*
Bathory: *slumbers on in blissful ignorance*
Deacon: AWESOME THAT WAS REALLY WELL DONE, KEEP IT UP! *applauds*
Miyu: *passively gains niceness personality, positively*
Me: WHAT THE FUCK!??!
PS: Speaking of WTFery: OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, APPARENTLY GRABBING SOMEONE IN THE CROTCH AND RUGBY TACKLING THEM TO THE GROUND ISN'T A RED CARD OFFENCE. Harsh, I think the commentator called it. CRACK MONKEY! *cracks up* Also: THREE-ONE, OUR WAY! AWWWWWWESOME!!
Deacon+Miyu: YEAH SNOW DAY!!!! *elation conniption*
ARMAGADS! O_O;;; We had to leave the wedding reception we were at like a millisecond after the mains were over because I was so broken I was having problems standing let alone shuffling out the door.. And so now I'm like OMG STRAWBERRY PANCAKES WITH ICECREAM FOR DESSERT!?!? DO WANT IN MY LIFE!!
I'd brave a snow drift for that right now. HOLY SHIT. *wantwant*
OMG LOOK AT THIS, DELICIOUS BREAKFAST FOR DESSERT IS DELICIOUS!! I WANTS SO HARD!
I bet you do too, DON'T YOU?!!? ;) ;)
SEMI-INTERMISSION: OMG!! ALIENS?!?!?! *is ALWAYS putting those huag stacks in hoods now just to see the aliens powering their lasers in the steamie steams*
I HAD NEVER BEFORE SEEN THIS!!
Bathory's heir portrait round two: A tad dark... Darnit. GOOD JOB OTHERWISE, THOUGH DEACON! :D ;D Lovely framing at any rate?
PS: LIVERPOOL TOTALLY ANNIHILATED MAN U IN A MAN U HOME GAME! HELL YEAH! :D :D
Miyu's delicate, childhood sensibilities are effected not by the cold. Or she's not learned the lesson of her eldest brother and has instead decided to ignore issues such as freezing to death and abduction by social worker in order to suffer for her fleeting, ephemeral performance/installation arts...
OH MY GOD. LOOK YOU GUYS, ITS TEASER-FEATURED LAURIETHEMUPPET's SELFSIM! And as you saw in the teaser shot, SHE BE A VAMPIRE. VAMPIRE SIGHTED! HELL YES, LETS GET THIS SIREING ACTION ON THE ROAD..!!!
Sup, Tristan Carmine? THIS, friends, is dragancaor's self sim, in MANFORM. HOT NE?!
And while we're looking at manform selfsims, who should walk by? Tis Charles Carmicheal, simkittensims's selsim in manly manform. Wouldn't you ALL tap that!?! I know that you would. Even his Harrison Ford midlife crisis earring doesn't put me off, SUP HOTTIE?!
Laurie: EXCUSE ME! You're so changeable and flighty? One second you're all OMG YES LAURIE I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU, and then its all OooOoh bright shiny thing, Red! Kat! And they're MENS! >_>;; Lawds girl, FOCUS!
Me: *bes suitably chastised*
Laurie: Excellent, cause its HARD WORK, all these extra teeth in your mouth O_O;;
Laurie: But its not without its perks! RAWR!! :D
Bathory: *inhales the sweet sweet dazzle pheremone*
-- OKAY, so FROM HERE EVERYTHING IS WRITTEN IN THE AFTERMATH OF THE WEDDING/SOCCER ACTION ETC SO I'M TOTES ASLEEP AND RANDOMLY DEHYDRATED EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T DRINK ANYTHING BUT SQUASH AND TEA. WHAT THE HELL, BODY?!
BUT YEAH, BE WARNED, ITS EITHER GONNA BE MEGA BORING OR REALLY REALLY RANDOM BUT I HAVE TO DO IT NOW OR I'M OUT OF THE FC3..! AAUUUUUUUGH *types furiously* --
In order to woo Laurie into turning Bathory into a creature of the night, Bathory turns to entertaining with meats. Where these meats came from I DID NOT QUESTION, I mean would LaurieVamp be the kind of dazzle-licious vampire to be a 'vegetarian'? Or did Bathory off that elfin teenager's parents in order to impress and that's why he's hating on her right now... He still ate the burgers though. ITS WHAT HIS PARENTS WOULD HAVE WANTED, OKAY!?
SUP lemonlime35's test at making a Nettsim! :D Also, HAI BILBO (katu_sims )!? WHY ARE YOU FREEZING TO DEATH?!?!
*is terrified that Deacon's father's eyelids have appeared to freeze and contract so that he can now SEE FOREVER*
OH MAAAAN. Yes, I have iliketoplaygod's Hector in this hood as well. ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?!?! He's so damn sexy I want him in like ALL My legacies. ALL POSITIONS!!!!!
Laurie: *thinks about how awesome she is while waiting for her questionable veggie burger*
Charles aka Kat: *just wants to be near Laurie*
Alien Shop Girl: *wishes someone would buy something already* BOOORRED NAAOOOOOOOO..!
Close your moth Miyu, you are NOT Napoleon Dynamite. How does he even keep his mouth open like that ALL the time?! Surely his mouth would get all dry and ick?
Napoleon Dynamite: Its from an accident that happened while I was with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines, GOSH!
Deacon's latest masterpiece, 'Tanning in Blue,' a self portrait.
Deacon: I wonder what my eldest brother, Lugosi would've been like..?
Me: *heartbreak*
Deacon: Would he be pretty? Would he be rich?
Me: Yeah thanks for getting THAT damn song in my head, Deac. BLAH Doris Day, get out of my brains now please? While we're on the subject of getting shit out of my brains, Deacon? Why are your portraits of your mother above YOUR bed? Is there something you want to tell me? Should I have in fact abandoned all naming conventions and instead named you Oedipus? You know legally you're not allowed to marry your mother you know? Although, you CAN marry your own aunt. TRUFAX!
Is this the weeping of an elderly woman, plagued by painful memories brought up by her OBVIOUSLY unfeeling second born son? Or is it just that she's pissed at me for not cheating and buying her a couch so she's throwing an old lady tanty?
YOU DECIDE!
Oh shit... ^_^;;; I fell asleep while the game was loading and when I woke up two days had passed and this was the sorry state of the veggie patch. THOSE DEAD TOMATOES (WHICH ARE PRONOUNCED SIMILARLY TO POTATOES, JUST TO CONFUSE YOU MORE, simkittensims, MUHHAHA!) COST THE HOUSE ABOUT THREE HUNDRED SIMOLEONS! Damn need to sleep >_>;;
And now I bring you: "The Cullen Women; Failboating." They're REALLY good at it, ne?
Sup nice snow man? Enjoying the desolate view of the bitumen, the rotorless windmills, and the endless expanse of nothing else?
Miyu: MAYDAY MAYDAY! MY IDIOT BROTHER IS IN THE WAY OF WHERE I WANT TO GO!! THERE'S NO ROOM TO WALK AROUND HIM >_<;; PLEASE SEND HELP!
Yeah, I can totally see where you're coming from, Miyuface. There's absolutely no space whatsoever to walk around here. None, nothing at all. Nope.
OOOH SPINNING SPARKLINESS!! Lets see those teen genes, Miyu!!
ADORABLE!!! You can see the Bathory-esque and yet still Dale Forest-ie (simsforaranya ) nose going on there. Very cool... Only, RILLY BIG CHIN IS RILLY BIG. AUGH!
Miyu aged up and demanded puppies, and since they'd just sold a mass of tomatoes, I give you Abi Cullen! So named after baykinz's RP Vampire character, who lolled about fastidiously and quoted the entirity of Growing Up Cullen. AWESOMESAUCE.
Teentime means its HIGH time to get aquainted with your future (I hope) beau, at the same time as purchasing some new-to-you second hand threads, Miyu. :D
Miyu: Come on baby light my jailbaity fire..!
Persimmon: Okay, but only if we can pre-test your ball skills...
RESULT!!
Testing out Persimmons wants and fears, well HELLO jailbaitingly centric Persimmon. I shall be PLEASED to have your broad nose bridge in this family *gives blessing*
70s Matchmaker? Your serviceses shall NOT be required..
...For clearly future adult parcheesi times have been secured. *glee*
OR HAVE THEY?! O_O;;
You're supposed to look PLEASED, Miyu. PLEASED! That doesn't look like excitement to me, young lady. *eyenarrow* Has Deacon's hot and cold affection lessons screwed up up SO MUCH?! *flail*
Back inside the shack mansion thinger...
Edward Cullen ( lauriethemuppet ): MIYU!! You're a Cullen? I AM TOO! Perhaps we are related by some curious chance of fate? My Fath--
Miyu: GTFO, EDWARD.
Edward: What did I do wrong?! IS IT BECAUSE I AM A MONSTER!? NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN *rushes off to the Volkswagon of Justice to cry away his rejection where no one can see his tears*
Miyu: Oh Tracey Thompson, you Domestic SuperHero, you. I shall never forgive the kindness you showed my family when I was but a mere babe... You're SO FINE..! *fart hearts and purchases clothings*
Persimmon: I love you so much, Miyu, you're so divine.
Miyu: Huh. Really? Aren't I a bit young for this kind of youthful betrothal action? This isn't shakespearean times. Younger wives than me are NOT happy mothers made...
Charles aka Kat: *freakishly continues the great tradition of townies in this hood reinacting the Blair Witch Project*
Abi Cullen: I REFUSE TO EAT FROM THIS BOWL, IT IS BLUE, AND NOT CRIMSON LIKE THE WARM, EVER FLOWING BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES!
Bathory: *dreaming of om nom-ing Malachai Darwin (stakeit_uk)*
Me: Um, you've never even met him, except for that one time he stole your invisible newspaper and didn't bring it back -- and even then you only saw his backside.
Miyu's eyes were doing that random teen alien eye broken switch to skin default thing that they often do. Thusly, time to take on the butterscotch family contacts!!
No, she's not Edward, she's at school. And you know who else isn't available to talk? YOU BECAUSE ITS THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. Damn failboating vampires...
Yeah, that massive chin is still massive, but isn't this hunt for tiny winged insects that have a fleetingly short time to live and will die, without ever succeeding in their purpose to find their one true love, mate and die, SIMPLY LOVELY?! :D :D
Bathory's stats aspirationally speaking were kind of... Low. So I thought, well why not invite Dale over for a little recreational aspiration raising, if you know what I mean?
Bathory sure did. :D
Bathory: Hey there father of two thirds of my children, come on, come ON! Do this fine piece of geriatric locomotion with me...! *come hither finger*
And then they done the swinging of their hips, the jumping up, and the jumping back. Considering how many chillens they have together, she already did know he had in fact maxed out 'the knack.'
HOLY LAWDS, Deacon's homework looks terrifylingly hard looking. O_o;;; I AM SO GLAD THAT KIND OF SCHOOL IS LONG LONG BEHIND ME, YIKES!
The relationship with Laurie having been carefully fostered, Bathory changed into her actually classy elder formal outfit, and invited Laurie, Future Sire and possible Yoda, over for 'tea.'
Bathory: Laurie! *air kiss*
Laurie: BATHORY! *Y HALO THAR grope*
Whilst Bathory went to make tea...
Miyu: Oh, GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ LAURIE! Would you be interested in giving my mother the kiss of eternal life? You can include tongue, in the french fashion.
Laurie: Why, I'm so touched you'd think of me! *blushing delight*
And then they done sex. Oh wait. And then Laurie gnashed open Bathory's Carotid Artery and partook of her live-giving oxygenated bloods.
IS THIS THE KISS OF LIFE OR THE KISS OF DEATH?!?! FIND OUT NEXT UPDATE CAUSE WE'RE AT 60 PICS SO IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE A CLIFFHANGER!
zomg, weirds, I never do those! O_O;; xD
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