The Kohler-Wielle Legacy 2.6: Toddler Mania 1.1
CAUTION: SERIOUSLY DELAYED UPDATE IS SERIOUSLY DELAYED!
Back from the dead (well back from the Ouroboroses xD) and probably painful xD
53 images for a 2.somethingMB download or threabouts.
Language, Sex (maybe? I forgets), and BABY BABY BABY (+ four more babies)!
Need to catch up? Kohler-Wielle Archive
OH MY GOD THE KOHLER-WIELLES ARE BACK FROM THE DEAD!! You didn't think it would happen did you? YOU LOST HOPE DIDN'T YOU! But no I itch to get these guys to generation 10, and they will. OH YES THEY WILL! :D :D What happened last time, oh god who can remember... The first half of Toddler Mania began, Valencia held strong with her burden of septuplets, EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD was electrocuted by the sentry bot and Cube stayed classy.
And this pretty much sums up what seven toddlers will do to you. The NANNY has passed out standing up. Poor dear, couldn't handle the heat and so initiated system shut down so to not overheat. I've never seen a Nanny fall asleep before Toddler Mania. It really does epitomise the situation:
Toddler Mania, so hard core even the Nannies who shirk their responsibilities and sit about eating all your food and sleeping on the couch can't handle it.
OKAY WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?!? SO MUCH! *brainsplosion*
Carrots is attacking that poor pumpkin toy within an inch of its tiny drug-addled life; Cinnabar is having some uncharactaristic (of ANYONE'S character) Cube hate; Poppy wishes she was a real girl so she could sleep in a real bed (now comes in 42 assorted colours and flavours); and Ginger & Kermes are pretending to not talk to each other while mentioning things like "The Grouch Resides Alone...The Rubbish Bin is His Home" and "The Brown Bear Lives in the Big Blue House..."
CLANDESTINE!
WOW Valencia, and you call yourself a family sim? Thats supposed to smell like daisies, or freesias or some shit to you. Besides, the Nanny's taking care of it. YOU HEAR THAT YA'LL!? THE NANNY IS ACTUALLY TAKING CARE OF SOMETHING!
I know, I know, Legacy Bingo tick from someone being astounded at Nannies being useful, but you gotta admit, when it happens its consistently JUST as shocking as the time it happened before.
And the seven babies manage to tucker the poor Nanny out once again... Seriously I think you should consider retirement Old Lady. This can't be good for your peptic ulcer, or your sciatica, or whatever it is you've got to be complaining about at your stage of calendarific advancement.
EVERY time Cube went to help one of his kids I had to prevent him, and it broke my heart every time. His constant want to be a good Dad denied at every turn. *poutpout*
Poor Sangiovese, he just wants his father's love..! ;_;
This is not the Nanny STILL asleep from a few screens above. This is the Nanny asleep AGAIN. That's right, that's how hard these kids are!
V? Darling? Do you have no compassion for this poor woman's nerves? I guess this is where your SINGLE NICE POINT rears its evil head? xD I guess you can gloat though, you're doing the lion's share of the work and yet she's the one passing out on the job.
Still, try not to break a spleen at the Nanny's expense?
Awwwww!! SUPER CUTE!! And WITNESS Valencia getting some hard earned sleep. Its true what they say, the mum should sleep when the baby sleeps or they'll NEVER get sleep. Thank the gods for a solid routine with all these kids or it'd NEVER have worked out.
*cuddles Carrots Cuthbert for coming to watch over his 'Mum' while she rests*
Oh, Cube. ♥ You're such a sweetheart. Fancy being genuinely worried about the Nanny's wellfare. Its okay, she's just asleep, its not like she's being mentally scarred by suddenly being exposed to an aged couple having vigorous sex juxtapositioned with some dude having the shit (and teeth) kicked out of him randomly on the tv. Uh... ^_^;;
Oh yeah, you see how she appears to be asleep in the same place again and so you think she's been asleep here that whole time? Oh no, this is her falling asleep AGAIN. I am not kidding with this, this woman goes to get the 9340283493 bottle of her shift -- I think there must be a magical door to an endless supply of the things I swear -- turns around and passes out. Its like there's a tile there that insta-saps her energies.
FULLY BUSTED, KERMES!! YOU BETTER NOT BE EATING THAT, CHILD!
DOUBLE BUSTED! o_O;;; I'm guessing this is from V's lack of neatness.. But I don't recall EVER seeing her pick her nose, EVER. Maybe they didn't inherit the skills of a ninja, they get not-ninja from their father?
Is the NinjaSkills gene recessive?
D'AWWWWW!!! *lovelovelove*
Syrah says, ROBOTS ARE DELICIOUS! OM NOM NOM...!!! Aww honey, macking on robots even at a young age. You know this one doesn't look at all like Jude Law, right? Although I guess to a toddler uber cuteness is uber cuteness...
*vaguely wonders if this is a portent of what is to come*
NOT THAT YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A FUTURE CHALLENGE OR ANYTHING..! ^_^;;
Whilst Syrah tests toy robots metal mettle, poor Kermes back there, he's so nonplussed and unenthused with his own reflection. You're a cutie too, little one! DON'T BE UNEEDINGLY DISHEARTENED!
Kermes: *bes disheartened*
Syrah: *loves the taste of blood iron*
Syrah: NUUUUUU MY TRUE LOVE!!!! HE'S GETTING AWAAAAAAY..!!! COME BACK MY PRECIOUS!! YOU TASTE SO DELICIOUSSSSSSSSS..!
ToyRobot: DDDDDDDDDDDDD=<
Wow, good to know you're not easily bored by trying to teach your children skills required for their futures or anything there, V...
You know I never actually paid attention to what was going on in that print before, I just hung it up there cause the box thing in the middle was orange and it was a cat print in soothing child's room colours... I hope Syrah doesn't grow up completely and utterly traumatised from it O_O;;;
Or worse, totally desensitised to the ultra violences ...
I SEE YOU THERE VALENCIA, PLAYING FAVOURITES MY GIRL!!
These favourites do in no way reflect the opinion of the player... Not in any way at all. These three are not her own favourites either. There is no bias towards any toddlers sporting the names Poppy, Ginger nor Modena. Nope. None. Nada.
GO GO GO LITTLE CLEANBOT!! So busy and bustling and beelike. I totally love the way Maxis designed these guys, the clean bot's front always looks like he's going "NUUUUURRRR...!" while he inhales the messes with his proboscis.
V, seriously we have to work on your appropriate node...Your children -- one of whom is one of your favourites I might add -- have passed out on the floor due to heavy exhaustion and you're reacting like baykinz told you this story:
'Once at work I was drawing because I scribble when I'm bored and one of the guys, Josh, was all like "HAY THERESA DRAW ME SOME BOOBS" and so I was all "okay" and drew him some boobs and then a little later some of the other guys came over and they were like "oh hey you draw pretty good" and then Josh was just like "YOU SHOULD SEE HER BOOBS"
And everyone cracked up except Josh.
The End.'
You knew it was coming... The beginnings of a CHAOTIC MESS..! Massive amounts of pee on the floor (the Nanny's I believe); Modena practically passed out into it dreaming sweet sweet musty dreams of 17th century tanning pits -- OoOOh LOOK BAMBI DIED *throws urine on his pelt* -- and crawling into a pile of old socks; Syrah's lost her shit thusly rendered unable to crawl away from the slowly creeping pee that threatens to touch her tiny feets; and Ginger's escape route is blocked by SHE THAT BE INCONTINENT.
CleanBot comes popping along to freshen up Modena's subconcious and the tiny little girls can't take it. TOO MUCH NOISES FOR THEIR SENSITIVE BABY SNOWFLAKE EAR DRUMS..! NUU THEIR TYMPANIC MEMBRANES..! THEIR TINY COCHLEA HAIRS, SEVERED! Ginger and Syrah: rendered deaf forever by Nanny pee.
See this? This is a child talking to her mother, who still hasn't been taught to talk yet. HOW is this possible, GAME?!
Actually the only thing any of the kids have had attempts at being taught to do is go potty... I should probably get on that... ^_^;;;
AND THUSLY I GIVE YOU: LEARNING TO WALK!!! :D :D Aww Ginger, your face lights up my life, so much tiny glee! *is warmed by it*
It almost makes up for the HIDEOUS wallpaper in this room O_O;;; LAWDS IN HEAVEN who came up with that combo? xD
*ran out of orange wallpapers so was forced into using this one*
Poor Cube, he kept trying to look after the kids so I ended up banishing him to the tent.
In the snow.
Without any thermalisingie arctic proof sleeping bag action.
ITS NOT ME, ITS THE CHALLENGE! *weeps*
Poor Carrots, loved to near death and optic nerveplosion on top of the dead carcass of his ancestor... Poppy's only doing it with love? ITS LOVE CARROTS!!
UGHS! Just keep repeating it to yourself, k? LOOOOVE!
Um, so I'm sorry to harp on about this but... NO ONE'S BEEN TAUGHT TO TALK. >_>
The Nanny gives all of the kids about 93402823 bottles a piece, and yet these two decide they MUST HAVE THIS BOTTLE IN PARTICULAR, even though its filled with sour milk.
Maybe BECAUSE its filled with sour milk? Future cheese connoisseurs?
LOL!!! I've never paid attention to the text on the toddler mirror before. xD AWwwwWwWWww! Ginger IS a beautiful toddler, thanks for noticing, Mirror!
Modena... That's... Not right... There's easier ways of eating Carrots' food than phasing into the dispenser... UGHS O_O Also looks like Valencia's going to have to buy a new dining chair.. *watches as a rotor slices through the top of the backrest*
lemon-lime35 ?!?! (And anyone who read 7 Guys, A Girl and a Jacuuzi xD), LOOK WHO'S JOGGING BY! Its Jemma Benton! Reborn with a full on tan... xD
AND BEFORE I'M READY: ZOMG TODDLER MANIA IS OVER..! GROWING UP ROLL CALL! MODENA: GREW UP WELL!
YEAH CINNABAR! TOTES GREW UP WELL!
POPPY!! PINK HAIR!??! GIRL YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF WIN!
Awww Sangiovese *pouts* Poor thing, grew up badly. *cuddles for him*
Kermes grew up well, and grew out his hair xD That was a surprise!
Valencia: MURRRRR is it over finally? Do I get to sleep?
Me: Yes honey, and you get to sex your mans way more often again :D
Valencia: HELL YES! *goes to find him straight away*
I kid you not, that's a true and accurate re-enactment of what happened while the kids were transitioning. xD
Pretty Ginger is pretty, and she grew the hell up well. Omg the design on those pajamas is little Grey Alien heads. I never noticed before! Awww cutes! Wrong colour, but still, AWW CUTES! xD
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the Nanny celebrates the challenge being over by emptying her bowels on the carpet for the last time... Hurrah..?
And last, but not least, SYRAH! YAY MORE WELLNESS!
HOW DID I GO?! BEHOLD A LIST OF NUMBERS THAT MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH I CAN DO MATHS..!! :D :D According to the scoring from the official rules:
- +3 points for each toddler skill (potty, walk, talk) each toddler learns:
0/21 = ZERO!! FAIL! xD - +3 points for each toddler that grows up well:
6/7 = 18 points - +1/2 point for each skill point earned by all toddlers:
(6x.5) + (4x.5) + (2x.5) + (1x.5) + (3x.5) + (2x.5) + (1x.5) = 3 + 2 + 1 + .5 + 1.5 + 1 + .5 = 9.5 points - +3 points for each toddler that ages to child in platinum:
0/7 LAWDS FAILURE xD - -2 points for each use of the Energizer painting:
"energizer painting" equivalent (used 100% energy on InSim) x3 = -6 points - -2 points each time you hire a nanny:
4x nanny = -8 points nuuu minuses! - +1 point each time a nanny pees herself:
nanny pee x3 = 3 points <-- SILLY NANNY FACE
***addendum +1 for SLEEPING NANNY = 5 points - -5 points each time your parent passes out from exhaustion:
WOO NO EXHAUSTION PASS OUT - -5 points for each visit from the Sim Therapist:
WOO NO THERAPIST :D - -1 point for each baby bottle you delete from buy mode:
No bottle deletion (but I had a maid, and the cleanbot) - -5 points if you use moveobjects to move any sim for any reason
-5 points (moved a sleeping baby once)
Didn't do advanced scoring, but if I did it'd be something like -18 for floor toddler passout, -83942473472 for nappy changes (why is this a penalised thing? O_O) and 1 social worker warning message for when one of the kids bugged out (as a result of me using move_objects on to move him oooops).
Final score (without advanced) 0 + 18 + 9.5 - 6 - 8 + 3 + 5 - 5 = 16.5 points
DOES THAT MEAN I WIN? xD xD
EEEEEeEEEeEEps..! O_O;;;
Modena: They see me (aero)plane'in, they be hatin'...
OR I see you aeroplaning and I'm freaking out that this hood/your lot is already borked >_<;;;;; AAAUUUGH IT BETTER NOT BE! Oh and look, not that you can really tell in this crazily pixellated screenshot, but they all got proper gen red makeovers! :D
Cube, FINALLY allowed to interact with his kids again, wastes no time in running outside to have a quality game of waterbaloon action with Modena.
In the snow. DUDES THIS ISN'T A SMART IDEA OKAY?!?! Look at the snow ON THE WATER BALLOON O_O;;; Something tells me that's not going to splat when it impacts with Cube's shoulder.. Or face... NOT THE FACE!
Why is it that kids almost always burn their muffins? OH NO MA MUFFINS!!
So much waste of baking pre-mix. Also, what stops the kiddy ovens from catching on fire since they burn the muffins so much? The ovens look pretty plastic to me? Why don't they melt into post-modern sculptures to be put in the living room for progressive arts?
Oh, PS? CINNABAR DON'T EAT THAT, K?
Carrots staring out Sinasappel is FREAKEN ADORABLE! And you probably forgot that damn bird existed, right? xD But no he stil lives! Came to the house with Valencia from College, I just forgot to screenie him until I spotted Carrots stalking him like succulent peking duck hanging from a street vendor's stall...
With all this focus on the toddlers, I thought we should all have a reminder:
IN CASE YOU FORGOT, VALENCIA IS ADORABLE!
Time to get the septuplets into private school (and simultaneously get Valencia back up into some much needed platinum). WOW, HELLOOOO Headmaster hottie! /impressed
He even works that bow tie HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!
Of course the cleanbot decides to pick this EXACT moment to go crazy and spew all kinds of rubbish that the Kohler-Wielles didn't even make all over the house.
OF COURSE..! >_<;;;
The kids pooled together and cleaned up in milliseconds, however -- GO GO SEVEN KIDS WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING DONE FAST FOR THE GOOD OF THE FAMILY! They're like some kind of adorably tiny mafia. :D And their Don, V, stayed outside and sweet talked Llewellyn into a tour of the back yard so he was never the wiser...
INTERMISSION OF HEADMASTER VISIT: POPPY AND APRICOTS, BEING MEGA ADORABLES TOGETHER EEEEE..!!
And then Cube came home from work and voila!! HANDYMAN EXTRAORDINAIRE! :D
MMmmMMmMMMm everyone imagining him wearing a tool belt right now? Sex and fixing things, right there... Oh yeah, I know you're thinking it..! xD
Uh, Valencia? We know Headmaster Llewellyn is a hottie, but in case you forgot, YOU ARE MARRIED TO CUBE. >_>;;;;;; Eyeballs back in head, remember the tool belt.
Modena: WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MY DAD IN A SEXUALISED MANNER!?!??! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO!? MY TINY IMPRESSIONABLE BRAINS! GAAAH WHY IS LIFE SO HARD!?!??!?!
Me: Honey, you're like, eight. Considering you used to sleep in Nanny pee, I'm thinking at this point your life is pretty sweet..
Also, impassioned fingers are impassioned, but her face seems pretty :| to me.. O_O;;
I AM UNCONVINCED BY YOUR PLIGHT, MY LOVE!
Cube? Valencia? Try to set a good example for your children, okay? Playing catch in a GLASS house isn't a smart idea. I know, this is sims and you can't break windows. BUT THAT'S HARDLY THE POINT, IS IT?!
I blame Valencia's step mothers and their penchant for playing catch in the glass-encased hallway >_>;; THAT'S RIGHT LUCY, EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE DEAD AND IN A WHOLE OTHER NEIGHBOURHOOD ON ANOTHER COMPUTER, I BLAME YOU!
And finally, for something completely different: I give you Sunshine the Servo, serving cakes!! :D They are not a lie, and not only that they are served by hottie androids. Every geeks dream, amirite?!
Oh wait, no hang on, we established the other day that every geek's dream was a girl in nothing but a towel serving him a bowl of hot chips while he played computer games and read nerd porn.. Or maybe that was just a geek in a nerdy shirt. ~*~SPECIFIC!~*~
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