The Daily Prophet - Sports Section
Date: Thursday, 17 August, 2000
Time: Morning Edition
Characters Involved: The Daily Prophet
Rating: G
Bye Bye “BoBo”, Hello Harry?
By “Pitch” Malbum
The talk of the Pitch this week was the appearance of our Saviour, Mr. Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived on Ellis Moor at the Quidditch match up between Puddlemere United and The Tuthill Tornados. On Monday just before game time, this reporter was privileged to see The Chosen One, our Hero and Saviour, Mr. Potter arrive to his seat at the stadium. For our sports fans who delight in statistics, Mr. Potter was seated in what are considered the best seats in the stadium, the Wizards Wonderment section. Of course, there are luxury sky boxes available to Wizards as famous and heroic as Mr. Potter, so regular readers of The Daily Prophet will not be surprised to learn that Mr. Potter adjourned to the Sky Box of Tuthill Tornados Owner, Mr. Terrance “Taffy” Tocknell, residing President of the Quidditch Owners Organziation, Q.U.A.C.K. for the game on Tuesday.
Mr. Potter watched the Tornados fight their way out of last place, and also spent a lot of time deep in animated conversation with Mr. Tocknell. Faithful readers will remember that just last week this reporter published Mr. Tocknell’s own statements on how he was scouring the land for a replacement Seeker for retiring Tuthill Seeker, Twrch “BoBo” Baynham. His broom is about to be closeted and Mr. Tocknell is clearly searching the highest levels of our wizarding society for his replacement. Yes, that’s right sports fans! It’s just possible that Mr. Tocknell is “seeking” the services of our very own Hero, Mr. Harry Potter as the next Seeker for his Professional Quidditch Team!
Quell your excitement, sports fans, as rumour has it that Mr. Potter has not yet accepted Mr. Tocknell’s generous and surprising offer. Unfortunately, Mr. Tocknell was not available for comment. Those who have followed The Chosen One’s illustrious career - and who hasn’t - will remember his glory days as Seeker for Gryffindor House at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The Boy Who Lived has enjoyed a reputation as a gifted Seeker, joining his house team as a first year student - the youngest Seeker in a hundred years. Has our Hero decided to share his gift of Quidditch with the Tuthill Tornados? Only time, will tell.
Mr. Potter did not come to Ellis Moor alone. He was accompanied by an attractive young wizard that our own Rita Skeeter, recovering at home from a vicious terrorist attack, identified as Draco Malfoy, son of the best selling author, Order of Merlin recipient and scion of our community, Lucius Malfoy. Mr. Draco Malfoy, sometimes described as a “special friend” of our Hero, accompanied him to the game on Monday as well as to the discussions with Mr. Tocknell on Tuesday. As the younger Mr. Malfoy was the Seeker for Slytherin during his years at Hogwarts, one wonders if Mr. Tocknell was perhaps looking for an heir and a spare?
And finally for those lovely witch readers of Pitch’s column with hopes for their own “match” with Mr. Potter, don’t despair! Mr. Potter’s reported fiancée, one Ginerva Weasley, was nowhere to be found on the Pitch.
Oh yes, and thanks to our Hero, Mr. Potter, there were also some Quidditch Games on the Pitch this week. There were two Clean Sweeps, The Wimbourne Wasps swept the Montrose Magpies, and the Wigtown Wanderers swept the Pride of Portree in their second Clean Sweep in as many weeks.
Pitch’s Pick of the week: With only two more weeks of Regular Season Play, it has to be the Tuthill Tornados at Yorkshire this coming week against the Magpies, and at QWC the following week against the Harpies. As all remaining tickets for both series of matches have already been sold, watch The Daily Prophet Sports Section for full details!
Quidditch Standings
Team
Points
Wigtown Wanderers*
4070
Wimbourne Wasps*
3900
Montrose Magpies*
3870
Puddlemere United*
3850
Falmouth Falcons*
3830
Holyhead Harpies
3720
Caerphilly Catapults
3680
Kenmare Kestrels*
3660
Ballycastle Bats*
3640
Chudley Cannons*
3570
Tuthill Tornados*
3480
Pride of Portree*
3430
Appleby Arrows*
3360
*Each week one team has a “by”. These teams have played one week less than the others.