The Daily Prophet - Sports Section
Date: Thursday, 20 July, 2000
Time: Morning Edition
Characters Involved: The Daily Prophet
Rating: G
Quidditch Fans in a Frenzy!
By “Pitch” Malbum
It’s Official! Fans of the Great Britain and Irish Quidditch League are definitely mad for Quidditch! Whether it’s to avoid the unfortunate news of the week or because they know the Ministry of Magic has assured their safety at games, this reporter can’t say, but there is no doubt that their frenzy reached a fever pitch this week!
Clive Smales, of Quality Quidditch Supplies (Your Home for Quidditch, conveniently located in Diagon Alley), was nearly too busy to speak with this reporter this week due to the mad rush of customers eager to enter and win the most coveted prize in wizardom since the Order of the Phoenix! “It’s been a madhouse, ‘Pitch’,” Smales confided, “Quality Quidditch Supplies is committed to giving ALL of our customers top service, no matter how long it takes!” Smales signed up more than a dozen members of our rabid wizarding community just while this reporter was there admiring the latest in Beater Bats. Quidditch fans young and old are struggling to be certain their name is entered in this fabulous drawing before August 1st. In between the deluge of sales as a result of this unprecedented giveaway of two Choice Seats to the game of the winner’s choice, Smales urged all Prophet readers to be sure to enter. “No one should miss out on this, ‘Pitch’. It’s the best chance our customers and your readers have to obtain this quality of view without emptying their account at Gringotts.”
On the Pitch this week there were not one but TWO Clean Sweeps! Both Double Scrubbers! The Kenmare Kestrels are no longer struggling without sorely missed manager, Leyland “the Q” Shelsher, who signed a new three year contract with the Kestrels this week. Whatever Kestral’s owner Sean O’Casey had to offer Shelsher to get him back with the team must have seemed a small price to pay with the Kestrels bringing in a Clean Sweep against their rivals for first, the Pride of Portree. The Pride fell to second as a result of the humiliating series at Ellis Moor. Keeper Meghan McCormack of the Pride told this reporter, “It was the bloody rain, ‘Pitch’! We’d have been better off with those nuisance campers on the Moor than the rain.” Kestrels Keeper, Cormac O’Connor snorted his response on the way to Pitch sidelines. “Stickey Wicket’s for saps, ‘Pitch’, takes more than a big girl’s blouse to play with the big brooms.”
Perhaps no fans in the entire world of wizardry sports are as joyous as the Chudley Cannons fans this week! The Cannons won their second Clean Sweep this week against the Wigtown Wanderers. As the Cannons had their “by” last week, this makes it two in a row for the Cannons! Looks like manager Ragmar Dorkins leading the team in a vow of silence was a stroke of genius! We’ll be lucky to get a quote out of any of the Cannons for the rest of the season.
Pitch’s Pick of the week: Kenmare Kestrels vs Appleby Arrows at Bodmin Moor in Cornwall. The Kestrels will be fighting to fuse their hold on first place, while the Arrows will be avid to advance in the standings.
Quidditch Standings
Teams
Points
Kenmare Kestrels
2930
Pride of Portree
2770
Wimbourne Wasps
2660
Puddlemere United*
2610
Tuthill Tornados
2460
Hollyhead Harpies
2380
Ballycastle Bats*
2290
Chudley Cannons*
2180
Montrose Magpies*
2160
Caerphilly Catapults
2150
Appleby Arrows*
2050
Wigtown Wanderers*
1960
Falmouth Falcons*
1900
*Each week one team has a “by”. These teams have played one week less than the others.