SPN FIC - To Know Her

[ficwriter1966]

You guys won't object to a double header, right?

I've had this one in process for a while, because I couldn't figure out where to slot it into S5.  So ... just say it belongs in S5 "somewhere."  Sam and Cas, a motel parking lot, and a need to find something that's been lost for a long time.

He'd felt almost relaxed, out here in the cool, rain-washed

Comments

[borgmama1of5]

Oh, I am crying so hard...for all that you write a perfect Dean, you also write the incredible sadness that is Sam...he never had a chance, and that knowledge permeates his entire being...

[ficwriter1966]

Thank you!

I'm sitting here with curiosity at hand - wondering how big a chunk of my readership is furious right now. At Sam, at Show, at Kripke, at the entire world in general. For all that I've been fond of Sam in the past, and have written a goodly amount of material about him, I want to light some C4 under that whole "Sam is the specialest snowflake who ever, ever flaked" concept and blow it into a whole other dimension. So I'm waiting to see if anybody reads this. If anybody's still got some sympathy for Sam. It'll be interesting.

In the meantime, if you feel lonesome over there, I'll send you some pie. :)

[ficwriter1966]

The whole fate thing...just got too big for itself, I think. They really lost me when they started retconning the entire storyline to make it agree with The Big Damn Destiny. Argh!!!

But I'm delighted that you enjoyed the story! I wanted to set up a sweet scene for Sam to peek in on, so he could witness a time when all was quiet, and his mom's and his brother's love for him was very visible. Just Cas's little gift for his friend. (I love writing Cas. He's so...dry.)

Thanks for commenting. :)

[camdk]

My goodness - almost a first comment. :)

That, however, doesn't stop me from having to wipe a tear or two from the corner of my eye after reading this.

Though I must admit to being a Dean!girl at my heart of hearts, I really admire the way Sam has been rallying the troops during these last few episodes (haven't seen 5.21 yet, though). Every moment such as the one you just described must be so bittersweet for him. One could argue who had/has it worst: the one who must live with having no memories of what his mother was like or the one who knows but can/could never have that life again. Although there are those who argue it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...

Once again, thanks for sharing.

[ficwriter1966]

Yay, borgmama1of5 isn't hanging around there by herself! *g*

The plotting and characterization this season has been so herky-jerky that I'm finding it hard to admire anybody, really. Somebody who's acting admirably one week is back to being a toad the next - that's one of the reasons why I've been struggling for months trying to find a spot to slot this story into! And "The Song Remains the Same" didn't help. \O/

At any rate, I'm glad you liked this and that you found it touching on Sam's behalf. Thanks for commenting!

[anonymous]

I loved this! You write Sam and Dean as children so perfectly and they always break my heart a little.. Thank you for the last few stories as well! Great job.

[ficwriter1966]

You're very welcome! I'm glad you enjoyed it (and the others as well). :)

[llywela13]

Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh. Oh Sam. And oh Dean, too, albeit obliquely here. You made my heart go twang.

[ficwriter1966]

Poor boys. I'm still sitting here hoping Show will FIX things on Thursday.

Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for commenting! :)

[llywela13]

Yes, I'm hoping for a good finale. I'm generally happy with the way the brothers' relationship has been steadily improving since the breakthrough of 5.18, but at the same time have found the last few episodes quite patchy - far too rushed and far too plot-heavy at the expense of plausible (or at times logical) characterisation. The pacing and narrative structure of this season have been depressingly bad - I just hope S6 is better! The post-Apocalypse return to intimate storytelling has to be better than this uneven attempt at epic surely.

You are one of the few reliably good fic writers still consistently writing for the show, and for that I am extremely grateful! It is such a relief after a poor episode to be able to turn to a well written story and remember why I loved the show in the first place.

[ficwriter1966]

I've had a little up-close-and-personal experience with the work of a TV series writing staff, and I have great sympathy for the restrictions they work under. But still - I with there had been a way for them to map out the entire season. Sketch out all the major plot points and character development they wanted to accomplish, then lay out the episodes to achieve those goals. Instead, they seem to have written it all in a very herky-jerky manner, with a lot of screen time devoted to things that weren't important at the expense of things we *needed* to see. It's brought me to the point of despising Bobby, being bored by Castiel, and wanting Sam to simply vanish somewhere. (Oh, and could they please stop kicking the shit out of Dean every other episode?) It's disheartening, it really is.

That said - I'm so glad that my stories fill a need for you. I still do love what we all first discovered in the show, and I hold out hope we'll see it again.

[ladylothwen]

Wow. Achingly beautiful. Capturing that moment of Sam, Dean and Mary and poor Sam unable to remember. The conversation between Sam and Castiel. I would enjoy that being in the show.

I'm just gonna go cry in the corner. Show is just breaking my heart left and right. This show is going to drive me to drink, I swear.

[ficwriter1966]

It's driven me to rant incoherently a number of times.

Cas had that line, "Sam Winchester is my friend," but it seemed to come out of nowhere. Yes, I would have liked to see some illustration of their relationship developing along the way, rather than simply being told it exists.

Anyway - I'm glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for commenting. :)