[Singin' In the Rain]: Singing in the Shower, Bedroom, and Everywhere Else

[minviendha]

“I still think it looks more like a rhinoceros,” Kathy said.

“And this,” Don noted, “Is what I like about wooden ceilings. They’re interesting. And when there’s nothing else to look at they offer something.”

“Nothing else to look at? Excuse you.” Don turned his head and grinned, perhaps a little rakishly. But only a little.

“I spent

Comments

[minviendha]

And now the fun part. What doesn't work, and how can I get better?

Because I would like to. Though you are welcome and thank you. >.>

[minviendha]

Oh, that will probably never be a continuous thing, just because - as you note - it is hard to indicate in text. And idk idk, I always feel like singing in fic is a little strange. But it worked with the moment, I'm just going to not go back and reread.

And nooo well I think I would too? But I wasn't sure, given the context, how much you wanted. This would be why I avoided writing actual porn, orz, because really I want them, like, I don't know. At the zoo together. Or something.

And well, yes, but if I were, hypothetically, to write you something, hypothetically, I would want it to be pleasing to thine eyes and all that. SO YEAH if you have any thoughts thoughts I would hear them gladly.

[pitselly]

I like it! The beginning and the ends are the strongest, and the singing and them arguing about the semantics of singing. I think you have a hanging footnote in there somewhere, though, and sometimes it's not always clear who's talking.

[minviendha]

...aww damn I lost the footnote. Oh well. I will move on like a brave little child.

The talking issue...yeah, I realize now that I really need to work on putting in more dialogue tags. I feel weird saying it every time, but it does need to happen more often. So things make sense and all.

I'm glad you enjoyed, though. /o\ new fandom writing is scaary.

[tomboy_typist]

I was gonna say... about the footnote. XD

[pitselly]

You can do itttt.

There's really no way to do it without things getting confusing? Unless you don't do any dialog tag at all for the paragraph and just make it all dialog, but then it should always be obvious (like there are two people in the room). One thing to always keep in mind is the fact that the reader will assume the speaker is the first name that comes after the dialog, so in "'Blah blah blah.' Janet scratched her head." it's safe to assume Janet is talking? Or am I overstepping my bounds, idk idk gfkhdhd.

YOU CAN DO IT, I THINK YOU'VE GOT IT.