Battle Towards Surrender: Part One
Title: Battle Towards Surrender: Part One
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Rating: PG13 this chapter, NC17 overall
Pairing: Emma/Regina - Swan Queen! (although it takes a little while to get there)
Spoilers: post s1-finale fic. Everything is fair game.
Disclaimer: Not mine! These characters belong to ABC/Disney, Horowitz and Kitsis. I'm just playing and no profit is being made.
Word Count: ~3300 (this part)
Warnings: Minor character deaths.
Summary: This is a collision of various prompts collected at Tumblr over the past month. It begins with Henry wondering about how they should feel about Regina now the curse is broken. From there, a plan is hatched which requires Regina and Emma to pose as lovers in order to have Regina admitted to the rabble roused to fight Rumpelstiltskin for control of Storybrooke. That's the premise, you'll have to read to find out the rest.
***PART ONE***
"Have you lost your tiny mind?" Regina spins on her killer heels, staring at Emma with a mixture of confusion and disbelief.
"It's the only way I can think of to make them let you join our team," Emma says, her voice steely but her resolve weakening. This is the Evil Freaking Queen, after all, not just the snooty bitch who's been raising Emma's kid for a decade.
She remembers watching Snow White (oh God, that's her Mom) in one of her foster homes and the other kids having nightmares for a week. Now Emma's offering the stuff of nightmares an olive branch and actually betting the collective safety of everyone she cares about on that person's willingness to help. As bad ideas go, it's right up there with banging married guys or saying 'one time without protection, what are the odds?'.
[Battle Towards Surrender: Part One]
"I have to pretend to be... your lover?" Regina asks, her voice dripping with disgust at the idea. Emma would be offended if she weren't so set on getting her plan to work.
"You know Mary Margaret," Emma says, not able to deal with the name changes just yet. "If I tell her I'm in love with you, she won't stand in our way. And hey, we already have the kid. It's the L Word, waiting to happen."
"What," Regina snaps. "Is the goddamned L Word?"
"You'll take people's hearts, but a Showtime package was a step too far?" Emma asks, shoving her hands in the pockets of her blue leather jacket, in case Regina notices them shaking.
"I could stay here," Regina says quietly, and the terrifying part for Emma is that it's the voice of someone very close to giving up. "I have to die sometime, Miss Swan. Why not go down fighting, in my own home?"
"Because," Emma replies. "Henry needs more from you. And if there's one thing I've learned from this past year? It's that you love him too much not to do everything in your power to protect him."
"Love is a weakness," Regina says, straightening her spine. "But for Henry's sake? I'll go along with your little plan."
***
"What is she doing here?" David says, jumping out of his chair at the sight of Regina. They've taken over the convent, since the nuns (wait, fairies) fled in the dead of night. It makes a solid base of operations, since Gold is reluctant to even come near it and they have a clear sightline in every direction.
"She's with me," Emma says firmly, stepping in front of Regina to make it clear. "She wants to help us."
"I see the Blue Fairy has stayed true to form," Regina drawls from behind Emma. "Never around when she's truly needed."
"You’re not needed, sister," Leroy--Grumpy, Emma corrects herself--chimes in. "We can fight just fine on our own."
"A pick-axe against the power of the Dark One?" Regina taunts, stepping out from behind Emma, linking their arms instead. Emma manages (just in time) to not look startled at the move. That it feels kind of nice is really not a big deal at all, and instead she forces herself to pay attention to the other people in the room. “I’m sure our old friend Rumpel is quaking in his boots.”
“Regina,” Snow warns (Emma supposes that’s step one on the way to ‘Mom’ at least). “Why are you really here?”
“You’re here for me, aren't you?" Henry says, walking into the room at that moment. Emma's relieved to see him again, uneasy at having left him alone even just long enough to collect Regina.
"Yes," Regina says, the honesty on her face hard to miss. She looks overwhelmed at the sight of her son, so Emma doesn't mind when Regina grips her forearm hard enough to bruise. “How are you, Henry?” She asks, just about keeping the tears in check.
“Fine, Mom,” Henry sighs, like she’s just asking about his homework again. Emma stressed, while forming this plan, that he should try to be as welcoming as possible to Regina. Emma’s surprised at how normal he’s acting, but then she’s also heard him crying at night when he thinks she can’t hear him. There’s a lot going on in that little head of his, and missing the only mother he’s ever known is a big part of it.
“Emma?” Snow says, the question unspoken but understood.
“I’m sure,” Emma replies. “I’m going to take Regina upstairs so she can settle in before dinner, okay?”
“It’s not a damn hotel,” Grumpy mutters, just loud enough for the entire room to hear. Emma gives him a tight little smile, before tugging Regina towards the door.
“Come on,” Emma says, when Regina resists being led around like some kind of prisoner. “And maybe stop with the death stares, if you want anyone to buy that we’ve been secretly in love with each other.
And Regina, being Regina, just rolls her eyes instead. Well, Emma thinks as they approach the staircase, that’s some kind of progress at least.
***
“No,” Regina states quite firmly. “No way. This is not going to happen.”
“You think I like this?” Emma asks, stomping across the bedroom to check her phone. At least the return of magic hasn’t screwed up the wi-fi connection. “On my list of fantasy roommates, you’re about one place ahead of Hannibal Lecter.”
“Now, that reference I got,” Regina says, with one of her slightly-creepy smiles.
“Of course you did,” Emma sighs. “I’m going to grab a shower. The bathrooms are down the hall, in case you were wondering. You can unpack,” she adds, waving at the bags they’ve brought from the Mayor’s mansion. Emma can’t help wondering how long that building will stay standing once Gold realizes it’s empty.
“Communal bathrooms?” Regina asks, looking horrified.
“Don’t worry, we can go in pairs in case you think anyone is going to lie in wait for you,” Emma suggests, hoping that it’s the only complaint Her Majesty has. They’re all trying to make the best of a slightly crappy situation right now. “Besides, in this part of the building we’re only sharing with Henry and Ruby.”
“Red,” Regina corrects, absent-mindedly, already pulling clothes from one of her bags.
“Right,” Emma sighs, grabbing her towel. “Make yourself at home.”
***
Emma leaves Regina alone with Henry at dinner, figuring they have a lot of crap to start sifting through. That it gives Emma a break from the woman who’s turned her life upside down is a pretty sweet bonus; this sharing a room thing is going to be pretty awful. Snow shoots a questioning look when Emma sits down with them for dinner, helping herself to a bowl of stew and some fresh bread.
“Can we trust her, Emma?” Snow asks, the concern still evident as she watches Henry and Regina carry on a stilted conversation at the far end of the long table.
“Maybe not,” Emma admits. “But I believe she’ll do anything to protect Henry.”
“And you really care for her?” Da--James asks, and Emma nods with almost no reluctance.
“Don’t ask me to explain it,” she says, hoping to avoid further grilling. “But I want her here, okay? I’ll do whatever I can to keep the peace. And she was right about that damn Fairy.”
“Yes,” James admits, grudgingly. “Of all the things we need to forgive, the Blue Fairy preventing us from coming with you to this world is perhaps the hardest.”
Emma doesn’t look at her mother then, knowing that she’ll only see tears again.
“But forgiving people is probably a good thing,” Emma urges. “I know it’s asking a lot, but we have to try, right? What’s the point in being the good guys if we don’t?”
“It’s not that easy, Emma,” Snow says, her voice wavering a little.
“I don’t know everything about your lives,” Emma persists. “But if that damn book taught me anything, it’s how crappy everything gets when people can’t let go of the past.”
“Regina did a lot worse than that,” Snow points out. “But I suppose you’re right. We’ll work on it.”
“Thank you,” Emma says, shoving a piece of bread in her mouth when her voice comes out all shaky.
***
“Ow!” Emma grunts as Regina’s heel connects with her shin. “Are you trying to swim somewhere? Because the last person I saw thrashing around this much was drowning.”
“Lucky them,” Regina grouses, pulling at the blankets. “Drowning sounds preferable to freezing to death.”
“It’s May,” Emma points out. “And you’re giving off heat like a furnace. Aren’t you supposed to be cold-blooded?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping on the floor?” Regina snipes.
“Not outside of your imagination, no,” Emma fires back. “It’s a stone floor!” She adds, for emphasis.
“This was a ridiculous idea,” Regina grumbles. “How do I know you’re not just waiting to smother me in my sleep?”
“There are easier ways to get rid of you,” Emma admits. “Not to mention that if I didn’t there’s already a line of volunteers. I promised you’d be safe here, and this is how we guarantee it.”
“Nobody wants me here,” Regina whispers. “Not even Henry.”
“We’re trying,” Emma says, not unkindly. “It’s a big ask. Some people are never going to get over it, you know.”
“I guess I understand that,” Regina replies, with a short, hollow laugh. “Why are you so eager to forgive me, anyway?”
“Because I don’t want to end up like you,” Emma says, before she can stop herself. Oh well, maybe Regina’s feelings could stand to be a little hurt.
Regina’s angry silence lasts a long time after that.
***
“Do you want my help or not?” Regina snaps as James shoots down yet another of her suggestions. “I have dark magic at my disposal, after all. Or do you mean to defeat him with nothing more than a smile and some misplaced hope?”
“There are ways,” James says. “Of winning with honor.”
“Honor?” Regina snorts. “This is not a tourney, your Majesty. We’re fighting for our lives. I’ve already fixed countless holes in the protection your precious fairies left you.”
“And for that we are grateful,” Snow interrupts. “But there is little point in winning if we have to stoop to his level to do it.”
“Regina,” Emma pleads. “Can’t you think of any other way?”
“Stop trying to handle me!” Regina lashes out, knocking her water glass along the table with an angry swipe of her arm.
Snow is watching them, Emma realizes a fraction too late. She’s clearly looking for some sign that things have changed, some evidence of the love Emma has claimed between her and Regina, but Snow isn’t seeing anything of the kind. Taking a deep breath, Emma puts a very careful arm around Regina’s shoulder and hugs her closer.
“Behave,” Emma whispers, close enough for only Regina to hear. “We’re going to take a walk around the grounds, clear our heads,” Emma adds for everyone else’s benefit. “Let’s start this fight again in an hour, okay?”
“Very well,” James agrees, pulling his maps clear of the spilled water with a pained expression. Emma wonders if they were bargaining on this when they reunited with their adult daughter; she has to suspect they did not.
***
She doesn’t let go of Regina until they’re safely in the tiny orchard at the back of the convent. Whether it’s the absence of other people or perhaps the presence of familiar apples, Regina seems calmer, relaxing under Emma’s loose embrace. As soon as Emma does drop her arm, Regina strides off, not stopping until there are at least three trees between them.
“We have to be careful,” Emma says, not raising her voice. No one has followed them, and enchantments keep the grounds secure, but still she feels on edge. Being cooped up so long is anathema to her, and it’s not exactly bringing out the best in Regina, either.
“Not to offend your darling parents?” Regina mocks, screwing up her face in disgust. “No, why would I want to upset the woman who ruined my life and her simple husband?”
“Hey!” Emma warns. “You can’t have forgotten our deal already. And Snow is already suspicious of how we act around each other, didn’t you see that?”
“She’s always been far too interested in other people,” Regina grumbles, but she’s moving back through the orchard now, her preference for invading Emma’s personal space when they argue kicking in.
“I’m saying, it couldn’t hurt if we maybe... acted a little more like a couple, just in front of people. Whatever you think, I don’t want anyone having an excuse to turn on you. Not in front of Henry,” Emma adds the last bit in a rush, uncomfortable with how much her own instinct is to protect Regina. Henry hasn’t expressed much concern either way, not now he has a whole gang of people to play with and mini-swords to fight with.
“They hate me,” Regina points out, quite reasonably. “You only see love and concern radiating back whenever you look at these people, but what I see is very different, Miss Swan.”
“They might forgive you, in time,” Emma argues. “Some of them, at least. It’s better, for all of us.”
“And you’ll forgive me?” Regina asks, not buying it for a second. “I took your family, I took your childhood; you should have been raised as a princess who wanted for nothing, and look what you got instead.”
“I got Henry,” Emma defends herself. “And so did you.”
“Even if you could forgive me,” Regina says, right up in Emma’s face now. “Why would you want to?”
“I don’t know,” Emma admits, staring into those challenging brown eyes without blinking. “Maybe because, unlike everyone else, I bothered to read your story.”
“You may think of me as some character in a child’s book,” Regina retorts. “But my life was--”
“So much worse,” Emma finishes. “I can read between the lines, too. Don’t you think it’s strange? That by saving me from the curse the way she did, my mother accidentally created the one person who might understand some of what you went through?”
“Snow White understands nothing of my life,” Regina snaps. “Nothing about pain, until I took everything from her.”
“No,” Emma admits. “She had a charmed life. She’ll tell you so, if you ask her. She was loved, every day, and she could be sure of it. She never doubted for a minute that someone cared about her, that she could have a happy ending,” Emma explains, pausing to consider her next words. “But you and I... it’s never been like that for us, has it?”
“My father loved me,” Regina blurts then, apparently ashamed of the admission.
“But not enough for it to matter, right?” Emma knows she’s on some thin ice, like the last frost in April thin, but she can’t stop herself. “Not enough to protect you from your mother.”
“How dare you talk about them?” Regina snaps, waving a finger in Emma’s face to warn her off. “My father loved me,” she repeats, but her voice is smaller this time, a little less certain.
“Yeah,” Emma says. “But there were some days when it didn’t feel like anything, right?” And she didn’t intend for this little chat to turn into an episode of In Treatment, but it feels like she’s actually doing something, making some kind of progress, for the first time since they locked themselves away in this drafty old building. It’s like the first flex and movement after getting a cast off, and Emma’s already bursting to do more. “I’ve dreamed about meeting my parents my whole life, and now they’re here all I can think is ‘why did you send me away?’”
“You know why,” Regina sighs. “Because of me.”
“They still had a choice,” Emma argues. “They could have kept me with them and found some other way to break the curse.”
“Well,” Regina says, shutting the discussion down with that no-arguments tone she usually reserves for Henry. “I’ll work on acting more like your girlfriend, if it means we can avoid talking like this ever again.”
“Deal,” Emma says, turning to go back towards the main building. She’s angry to find that she starts crying on the way.
***
“When I said ‘act more like a couple’,” Emma hisses, cornering Regina in the huge, empty kitchen. “I did not mean ‘grab my ass in front of my father’.”
“Oh,” Regina says, looking with obviously faked interest at the fruit on the table. “You should have been more specific.”
***
“You’ve been quiet,” Regina accuses, as they lie there in the dark.
“I’m trying to sleep,” Emma says, turning back to face the window. That’s when she sees the sky light up in the ugliest firework display she’s ever seen. “Fuck!” She yells, scrambling out of bed as Regina does the same.
“It seems he’s finally making a move,” Regina says calmly, pulling on (of all things) Emma’s faded gray hoodie. “I’ll be on the roof.”
***
The first flush of war is not what Emma expects. She watched two Gulf Wars on television and was in New York, fresh out of prison, when the Towers fell. Now though, it’s more like the Fourth of July, except people keep screaming.
Nobody listened to Regina’s early insistence that they hold back, that they let her fight and conduct the battle through magic. Instead, this band of brave and noble idiots has been charging their own boundary, meeting all manner of horrors conjured up by Gold.
Emma wants to join them, but Regina made her swear to keep Henry safe. There’s a sword in her hand as she watches the battle rage, but she doesn’t make it beyond the relative safety of the four walls. An hour later, or maybe it’s two, and the skies are clear again.
Handing Henry over to her mother, Emma sheaths the sword and runs out to help with carrying the injured. She’s stopped short at the sight of James--her father--carrying the obviously dead form of Sneezy, both men covered in blood.
“Let me,” she finds herself saying, taking the body into her own arms and starting back towards the Great Hall that will now be hospital and mortuary both. James squeezes her arm, his face crumpling for a moment. “Come in,” she orders gently. “You’re hurt, aren’t you?”
He nods, but looks behind him to where the wounded are straggling back towards the building. Emma understands the impulse, it’s the same dumb instinct that made her linger in a burning room to save Regina after all.
“Come in,” she insists. “Snow will want to know you’re okay.”
“Fine,” he sighs, and Emma lets him place a hand on her shoulder to help support him as they walk inside. Snow is already in motion at the sight of them, kissing James fiercely before pulling away to check his wounds. Although her face is still the picture of concern, she relaxes at seeing most of the damage is superficial.
“Is he--” she asks, looking at the limp body in Emma’s arms. In that moment the weight of him becomes unbearable, and Emma feels the revulsion at holding dead flesh rearing up inside her. She staggers to the nearest table, laying Sneezy down as gently as she can before she falls to her knees.
It’s the kind of moment where she wishes she prayed, because all around Emma the injured (carrying two, maybe three dead) are spilling into the room. She watches her mother spring into action, the warrior princess turned nursemaid, barking orders and handing out bandages. It’s only when James raises his arm to flex out an injured shoulder that Emma remembers.
Regina.
PART TWO --->
Fandom: Once Upon a Time
Rating: PG13 this chapter, NC17 overall
Pairing: Emma/Regina - Swan Queen! (although it takes a little while to get there)
Spoilers: post s1-finale fic. Everything is fair game.
Disclaimer: Not mine! These characters belong to ABC/Disney, Horowitz and Kitsis. I'm just playing and no profit is being made.
Word Count: ~3300 (this part)
Warnings: Minor character deaths.
Summary: This is a collision of various prompts collected at Tumblr over the past month. It begins with Henry wondering about how they should feel about Regina now the curse is broken. From there, a plan is hatched which requires Regina and Emma to pose as lovers in order to have Regina admitted to the rabble roused to fight Rumpelstiltskin for control of Storybrooke. That's the premise, you'll have to read to find out the rest.
***PART ONE***
"Have you lost your tiny mind?" Regina spins on her killer heels, staring at Emma with a mixture of confusion and disbelief.
"It's the only way I can think of to make them let you join our team," Emma says, her voice steely but her resolve weakening. This is the Evil Freaking Queen, after all, not just the snooty bitch who's been raising Emma's kid for a decade.
She remembers watching Snow White (oh God, that's her Mom) in one of her foster homes and the other kids having nightmares for a week. Now Emma's offering the stuff of nightmares an olive branch and actually betting the collective safety of everyone she cares about on that person's willingness to help. As bad ideas go, it's right up there with banging married guys or saying 'one time without protection, what are the odds?'.
[Battle Towards Surrender: Part One]
"I have to pretend to be... your lover?" Regina asks, her voice dripping with disgust at the idea. Emma would be offended if she weren't so set on getting her plan to work.
"You know Mary Margaret," Emma says, not able to deal with the name changes just yet. "If I tell her I'm in love with you, she won't stand in our way. And hey, we already have the kid. It's the L Word, waiting to happen."
"What," Regina snaps. "Is the goddamned L Word?"
"You'll take people's hearts, but a Showtime package was a step too far?" Emma asks, shoving her hands in the pockets of her blue leather jacket, in case Regina notices them shaking.
"I could stay here," Regina says quietly, and the terrifying part for Emma is that it's the voice of someone very close to giving up. "I have to die sometime, Miss Swan. Why not go down fighting, in my own home?"
"Because," Emma replies. "Henry needs more from you. And if there's one thing I've learned from this past year? It's that you love him too much not to do everything in your power to protect him."
"Love is a weakness," Regina says, straightening her spine. "But for Henry's sake? I'll go along with your little plan."
***
"What is she doing here?" David says, jumping out of his chair at the sight of Regina. They've taken over the convent, since the nuns (wait, fairies) fled in the dead of night. It makes a solid base of operations, since Gold is reluctant to even come near it and they have a clear sightline in every direction.
"She's with me," Emma says firmly, stepping in front of Regina to make it clear. "She wants to help us."
"I see the Blue Fairy has stayed true to form," Regina drawls from behind Emma. "Never around when she's truly needed."
"You’re not needed, sister," Leroy--Grumpy, Emma corrects herself--chimes in. "We can fight just fine on our own."
"A pick-axe against the power of the Dark One?" Regina taunts, stepping out from behind Emma, linking their arms instead. Emma manages (just in time) to not look startled at the move. That it feels kind of nice is really not a big deal at all, and instead she forces herself to pay attention to the other people in the room. “I’m sure our old friend Rumpel is quaking in his boots.”
“Regina,” Snow warns (Emma supposes that’s step one on the way to ‘Mom’ at least). “Why are you really here?”
“You’re here for me, aren't you?" Henry says, walking into the room at that moment. Emma's relieved to see him again, uneasy at having left him alone even just long enough to collect Regina.
"Yes," Regina says, the honesty on her face hard to miss. She looks overwhelmed at the sight of her son, so Emma doesn't mind when Regina grips her forearm hard enough to bruise. “How are you, Henry?” She asks, just about keeping the tears in check.
“Fine, Mom,” Henry sighs, like she’s just asking about his homework again. Emma stressed, while forming this plan, that he should try to be as welcoming as possible to Regina. Emma’s surprised at how normal he’s acting, but then she’s also heard him crying at night when he thinks she can’t hear him. There’s a lot going on in that little head of his, and missing the only mother he’s ever known is a big part of it.
“Emma?” Snow says, the question unspoken but understood.
“I’m sure,” Emma replies. “I’m going to take Regina upstairs so she can settle in before dinner, okay?”
“It’s not a damn hotel,” Grumpy mutters, just loud enough for the entire room to hear. Emma gives him a tight little smile, before tugging Regina towards the door.
“Come on,” Emma says, when Regina resists being led around like some kind of prisoner. “And maybe stop with the death stares, if you want anyone to buy that we’ve been secretly in love with each other.
And Regina, being Regina, just rolls her eyes instead. Well, Emma thinks as they approach the staircase, that’s some kind of progress at least.
***
“No,” Regina states quite firmly. “No way. This is not going to happen.”
“You think I like this?” Emma asks, stomping across the bedroom to check her phone. At least the return of magic hasn’t screwed up the wi-fi connection. “On my list of fantasy roommates, you’re about one place ahead of Hannibal Lecter.”
“Now, that reference I got,” Regina says, with one of her slightly-creepy smiles.
“Of course you did,” Emma sighs. “I’m going to grab a shower. The bathrooms are down the hall, in case you were wondering. You can unpack,” she adds, waving at the bags they’ve brought from the Mayor’s mansion. Emma can’t help wondering how long that building will stay standing once Gold realizes it’s empty.
“Communal bathrooms?” Regina asks, looking horrified.
“Don’t worry, we can go in pairs in case you think anyone is going to lie in wait for you,” Emma suggests, hoping that it’s the only complaint Her Majesty has. They’re all trying to make the best of a slightly crappy situation right now. “Besides, in this part of the building we’re only sharing with Henry and Ruby.”
“Red,” Regina corrects, absent-mindedly, already pulling clothes from one of her bags.
“Right,” Emma sighs, grabbing her towel. “Make yourself at home.”
***
Emma leaves Regina alone with Henry at dinner, figuring they have a lot of crap to start sifting through. That it gives Emma a break from the woman who’s turned her life upside down is a pretty sweet bonus; this sharing a room thing is going to be pretty awful. Snow shoots a questioning look when Emma sits down with them for dinner, helping herself to a bowl of stew and some fresh bread.
“Can we trust her, Emma?” Snow asks, the concern still evident as she watches Henry and Regina carry on a stilted conversation at the far end of the long table.
“Maybe not,” Emma admits. “But I believe she’ll do anything to protect Henry.”
“And you really care for her?” Da--James asks, and Emma nods with almost no reluctance.
“Don’t ask me to explain it,” she says, hoping to avoid further grilling. “But I want her here, okay? I’ll do whatever I can to keep the peace. And she was right about that damn Fairy.”
“Yes,” James admits, grudgingly. “Of all the things we need to forgive, the Blue Fairy preventing us from coming with you to this world is perhaps the hardest.”
Emma doesn’t look at her mother then, knowing that she’ll only see tears again.
“But forgiving people is probably a good thing,” Emma urges. “I know it’s asking a lot, but we have to try, right? What’s the point in being the good guys if we don’t?”
“It’s not that easy, Emma,” Snow says, her voice wavering a little.
“I don’t know everything about your lives,” Emma persists. “But if that damn book taught me anything, it’s how crappy everything gets when people can’t let go of the past.”
“Regina did a lot worse than that,” Snow points out. “But I suppose you’re right. We’ll work on it.”
“Thank you,” Emma says, shoving a piece of bread in her mouth when her voice comes out all shaky.
***
“Ow!” Emma grunts as Regina’s heel connects with her shin. “Are you trying to swim somewhere? Because the last person I saw thrashing around this much was drowning.”
“Lucky them,” Regina grouses, pulling at the blankets. “Drowning sounds preferable to freezing to death.”
“It’s May,” Emma points out. “And you’re giving off heat like a furnace. Aren’t you supposed to be cold-blooded?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping on the floor?” Regina snipes.
“Not outside of your imagination, no,” Emma fires back. “It’s a stone floor!” She adds, for emphasis.
“This was a ridiculous idea,” Regina grumbles. “How do I know you’re not just waiting to smother me in my sleep?”
“There are easier ways to get rid of you,” Emma admits. “Not to mention that if I didn’t there’s already a line of volunteers. I promised you’d be safe here, and this is how we guarantee it.”
“Nobody wants me here,” Regina whispers. “Not even Henry.”
“We’re trying,” Emma says, not unkindly. “It’s a big ask. Some people are never going to get over it, you know.”
“I guess I understand that,” Regina replies, with a short, hollow laugh. “Why are you so eager to forgive me, anyway?”
“Because I don’t want to end up like you,” Emma says, before she can stop herself. Oh well, maybe Regina’s feelings could stand to be a little hurt.
Regina’s angry silence lasts a long time after that.
***
“Do you want my help or not?” Regina snaps as James shoots down yet another of her suggestions. “I have dark magic at my disposal, after all. Or do you mean to defeat him with nothing more than a smile and some misplaced hope?”
“There are ways,” James says. “Of winning with honor.”
“Honor?” Regina snorts. “This is not a tourney, your Majesty. We’re fighting for our lives. I’ve already fixed countless holes in the protection your precious fairies left you.”
“And for that we are grateful,” Snow interrupts. “But there is little point in winning if we have to stoop to his level to do it.”
“Regina,” Emma pleads. “Can’t you think of any other way?”
“Stop trying to handle me!” Regina lashes out, knocking her water glass along the table with an angry swipe of her arm.
Snow is watching them, Emma realizes a fraction too late. She’s clearly looking for some sign that things have changed, some evidence of the love Emma has claimed between her and Regina, but Snow isn’t seeing anything of the kind. Taking a deep breath, Emma puts a very careful arm around Regina’s shoulder and hugs her closer.
“Behave,” Emma whispers, close enough for only Regina to hear. “We’re going to take a walk around the grounds, clear our heads,” Emma adds for everyone else’s benefit. “Let’s start this fight again in an hour, okay?”
“Very well,” James agrees, pulling his maps clear of the spilled water with a pained expression. Emma wonders if they were bargaining on this when they reunited with their adult daughter; she has to suspect they did not.
***
She doesn’t let go of Regina until they’re safely in the tiny orchard at the back of the convent. Whether it’s the absence of other people or perhaps the presence of familiar apples, Regina seems calmer, relaxing under Emma’s loose embrace. As soon as Emma does drop her arm, Regina strides off, not stopping until there are at least three trees between them.
“We have to be careful,” Emma says, not raising her voice. No one has followed them, and enchantments keep the grounds secure, but still she feels on edge. Being cooped up so long is anathema to her, and it’s not exactly bringing out the best in Regina, either.
“Not to offend your darling parents?” Regina mocks, screwing up her face in disgust. “No, why would I want to upset the woman who ruined my life and her simple husband?”
“Hey!” Emma warns. “You can’t have forgotten our deal already. And Snow is already suspicious of how we act around each other, didn’t you see that?”
“She’s always been far too interested in other people,” Regina grumbles, but she’s moving back through the orchard now, her preference for invading Emma’s personal space when they argue kicking in.
“I’m saying, it couldn’t hurt if we maybe... acted a little more like a couple, just in front of people. Whatever you think, I don’t want anyone having an excuse to turn on you. Not in front of Henry,” Emma adds the last bit in a rush, uncomfortable with how much her own instinct is to protect Regina. Henry hasn’t expressed much concern either way, not now he has a whole gang of people to play with and mini-swords to fight with.
“They hate me,” Regina points out, quite reasonably. “You only see love and concern radiating back whenever you look at these people, but what I see is very different, Miss Swan.”
“They might forgive you, in time,” Emma argues. “Some of them, at least. It’s better, for all of us.”
“And you’ll forgive me?” Regina asks, not buying it for a second. “I took your family, I took your childhood; you should have been raised as a princess who wanted for nothing, and look what you got instead.”
“I got Henry,” Emma defends herself. “And so did you.”
“Even if you could forgive me,” Regina says, right up in Emma’s face now. “Why would you want to?”
“I don’t know,” Emma admits, staring into those challenging brown eyes without blinking. “Maybe because, unlike everyone else, I bothered to read your story.”
“You may think of me as some character in a child’s book,” Regina retorts. “But my life was--”
“So much worse,” Emma finishes. “I can read between the lines, too. Don’t you think it’s strange? That by saving me from the curse the way she did, my mother accidentally created the one person who might understand some of what you went through?”
“Snow White understands nothing of my life,” Regina snaps. “Nothing about pain, until I took everything from her.”
“No,” Emma admits. “She had a charmed life. She’ll tell you so, if you ask her. She was loved, every day, and she could be sure of it. She never doubted for a minute that someone cared about her, that she could have a happy ending,” Emma explains, pausing to consider her next words. “But you and I... it’s never been like that for us, has it?”
“My father loved me,” Regina blurts then, apparently ashamed of the admission.
“But not enough for it to matter, right?” Emma knows she’s on some thin ice, like the last frost in April thin, but she can’t stop herself. “Not enough to protect you from your mother.”
“How dare you talk about them?” Regina snaps, waving a finger in Emma’s face to warn her off. “My father loved me,” she repeats, but her voice is smaller this time, a little less certain.
“Yeah,” Emma says. “But there were some days when it didn’t feel like anything, right?” And she didn’t intend for this little chat to turn into an episode of In Treatment, but it feels like she’s actually doing something, making some kind of progress, for the first time since they locked themselves away in this drafty old building. It’s like the first flex and movement after getting a cast off, and Emma’s already bursting to do more. “I’ve dreamed about meeting my parents my whole life, and now they’re here all I can think is ‘why did you send me away?’”
“You know why,” Regina sighs. “Because of me.”
“They still had a choice,” Emma argues. “They could have kept me with them and found some other way to break the curse.”
“Well,” Regina says, shutting the discussion down with that no-arguments tone she usually reserves for Henry. “I’ll work on acting more like your girlfriend, if it means we can avoid talking like this ever again.”
“Deal,” Emma says, turning to go back towards the main building. She’s angry to find that she starts crying on the way.
***
“When I said ‘act more like a couple’,” Emma hisses, cornering Regina in the huge, empty kitchen. “I did not mean ‘grab my ass in front of my father’.”
“Oh,” Regina says, looking with obviously faked interest at the fruit on the table. “You should have been more specific.”
***
“You’ve been quiet,” Regina accuses, as they lie there in the dark.
“I’m trying to sleep,” Emma says, turning back to face the window. That’s when she sees the sky light up in the ugliest firework display she’s ever seen. “Fuck!” She yells, scrambling out of bed as Regina does the same.
“It seems he’s finally making a move,” Regina says calmly, pulling on (of all things) Emma’s faded gray hoodie. “I’ll be on the roof.”
***
The first flush of war is not what Emma expects. She watched two Gulf Wars on television and was in New York, fresh out of prison, when the Towers fell. Now though, it’s more like the Fourth of July, except people keep screaming.
Nobody listened to Regina’s early insistence that they hold back, that they let her fight and conduct the battle through magic. Instead, this band of brave and noble idiots has been charging their own boundary, meeting all manner of horrors conjured up by Gold.
Emma wants to join them, but Regina made her swear to keep Henry safe. There’s a sword in her hand as she watches the battle rage, but she doesn’t make it beyond the relative safety of the four walls. An hour later, or maybe it’s two, and the skies are clear again.
Handing Henry over to her mother, Emma sheaths the sword and runs out to help with carrying the injured. She’s stopped short at the sight of James--her father--carrying the obviously dead form of Sneezy, both men covered in blood.
“Let me,” she finds herself saying, taking the body into her own arms and starting back towards the Great Hall that will now be hospital and mortuary both. James squeezes her arm, his face crumpling for a moment. “Come in,” she orders gently. “You’re hurt, aren’t you?”
He nods, but looks behind him to where the wounded are straggling back towards the building. Emma understands the impulse, it’s the same dumb instinct that made her linger in a burning room to save Regina after all.
“Come in,” she insists. “Snow will want to know you’re okay.”
“Fine,” he sighs, and Emma lets him place a hand on her shoulder to help support him as they walk inside. Snow is already in motion at the sight of them, kissing James fiercely before pulling away to check his wounds. Although her face is still the picture of concern, she relaxes at seeing most of the damage is superficial.
“Is he--” she asks, looking at the limp body in Emma’s arms. In that moment the weight of him becomes unbearable, and Emma feels the revulsion at holding dead flesh rearing up inside her. She staggers to the nearest table, laying Sneezy down as gently as she can before she falls to her knees.
It’s the kind of moment where she wishes she prayed, because all around Emma the injured (carrying two, maybe three dead) are spilling into the room. She watches her mother spring into action, the warrior princess turned nursemaid, barking orders and handing out bandages. It’s only when James raises his arm to flex out an injured shoulder that Emma remembers.
Regina.
PART TWO --->