Little Earthquakes (Chapter 20)
Title: Little Earthquakes (20/?)
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When Arizona is attacked in the parking lot of Seattle Grace, everything changes...and her relationship with Callie is put to the test.
Content Warning
This story deals with the topic of rape and recovery. I am rating it a hard M for graphic depictions of rape, violence, and, eventually, consensual sex.
I would never write about rape frivolously, nor to titillate. There's a lot of fan fiction out there that deals with sexual assault in all manner of ways, many of them distasteful. The last thing I want to do is add to the litany of "rapefic" that traumatizes beloved characters for the sake of creating a juicy story.
At the same time, rape and sexual assault is a reality. As such, I believe it is a legitimate subject for fiction, especially when the focus is not so much on the physical act but on the psychological repercussions, the aftershocks such an event can unleash in a survivor's life.
If the frank depiction of rape and the pain of recovery (physical, emotional, and sexual) is likely to trigger or otherwise upset you, I would honestly give this story a pass. I don't plan on pulling any punches. I do plan on handling this the most respectful way I know how.
Eek. I'm sorry, guys. No great excuses-had to attend a function in early March that totally freaked me out and made me anxious, which sort of made me worthless as far as writing went, for a while. Then just trying to juggle life and other writing projects with this one... Anyway, I do apologize (because I'd hate the bitch who made me wait so long for a story I was following g), and I hope you enjoy.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Under the conference room table in the King County prosecutor's office, Callie traced soothing patterns over Arizona's palm as they waited for Kent Johnson to come talk to them. She hoped the contact would calm Arizona down, because right now she was so on edge it made Callie's stomach hurt. The fact that she hadn't been there for Arizona during the long hours leading up to this appointment had been hard enough, but now that she could see how close Arizona was to outright panic, she cursed the long shift that had kept her away.
This was the first time they'd been alone for almost thirty-two hours, the result of conflicting schedules and a hellishly busy atmosphere at the hospital. Being apart was never easy, but knowing how anxious Arizona had been for the past few days made it even worse. For the past thirty hours, all Callie had wanted was to wrap Arizona in her arms.
As though reading her mind, Arizona said, "I wish we were at home, curled up in bed."
"Me too." Callie covered Arizona's hand with her own, squeezing gently. After this meeting, Arizona would head back to the hospital while Callie went home for some much-needed sleep. Which meant that they were still a good fourteen hours away from having some quality time together. "Tomorrow morning, you and me. It's a date."
Arizona avoided her gaze, radiating sadness. "That sucks."
"I know."
"You must be exhausted."
Shaking her head, Callie said, "Just a little." It was mostly true-as exhausted as she was, the anxiety she felt about Arizona having to go through something she'd been dreading had Callie keyed up. There was no way she could rest right now, even if she were at home.
"Liar." A smile tugged at Arizona's mouth, and she finally met Callie's eyes. "Thanks for being here with me."
"I will always be with you," Callie said. She wouldn't have missed this appointment for anything. Not when Arizona had been losing sleep over it. "Are you okay?"
Arizona grimaced. "My stomach hurts."
"I'm sorry." Callie rubbed her thumb over Arizona's palm. "This part will be over soon."
Lowering her voice to a whisper, Arizona said, "I hope I don't cry."
The conference room door opened before Callie could answer. Arizona straightened and quickly wiped a hand over her face, composing herself. She greeted the man and woman who entered with a polite smile.
"Dr. Robbins?" the man said, extending his hand across the table in greeting. "I'm Kent Johnson." He shook Arizona's hand, then Callie's, then gestured at the attractive redhead beside him, who carried a stack of legal pads and manila folders. "This is Sandy Barnes, one of our victims advocates. She'll be working with us to help prepare you to testify in the state's case against Colin Thomas."
"It's nice to meet you." Outwardly, Arizona's voice was pleasant, even chipper. But Callie could hear the terror beneath the surface. "This is my partner, Calliope. She'll be providing me with moral support."
Sandy set down her files and shook Arizona's hand. "Excellent."
"Can I get either of you something to drink?" Kent asked. "Coffee, tea? A glass of water?"
Arizona placed her hand back in Callie's. "No, thanks."
When Kent looked at her, Callie said, "I'm fine."
"Great." Kent sat down, grabbed a legal pad, and uncapped a pen. Then folded his hands on the table, meeting Arizona's eyes. "We appreciate you coming in today, Dr. Robbins-"
"Arizona."
He nodded, acknowledging Arizona's correction. "I realize that testifying can be a traumatic experience for victims, and I want you to know that Sandy and I will do everything we can to answer your questions and help you feel prepared. The purpose of today's meeting is to give you an idea about what to expect from the trial, to talk about your testimony, and to otherwise get you ready for what comes next."
Arizona swallowed. "I understand."
"Before we get started, it's important to talk about what this trial is, and what it isn't. The state is prosecuting Colin Thomas for three counts of rape, among other charges." Kent hesitated, glanced at Callie for a moment, then back to Arizona. "I need to make it clear that I'm not your attorney. I'm the state's attorney, prosecuting the state's case against Colin Thomas. That means that I'm not acting in your interests, technically, and that your role in the trial is as a witness for the prosecution, rather than as the plaintiff."
Arizona nodded, tightening her grip on Callie's hand. Her palm was sweaty. Callie stroked a thumb over Arizona's knuckle, offering silent support.
Kent gestured to Sandy, who picked up where he left off. "Pretrial preparation is so important specifically because it's traumatic to be asked to mentally relive your attack in front of the defendant and a courtroom of strangers. The good news is that a stranger rape is the easiest type to prosecute, and the state has a strong case against Mr. Thomas."
"I'm glad," Arizona said quietly. "I am nervous, but I'm happy to do whatever I can to make sure he's punished."
"As scary as it may be, testifying can also be empowering, and hopefully the experience will provide some closure for you." Sandy opened a file and glanced at the paper inside. "The defendant has pled not guilty, but luckily consent is not a realistic defense in your case. Between the injuries you sustained, the location he chose, and your sexual history, no jury in the world will see this as anything other than an unprovoked attack. I suspect that the defense will focus on the accuracy of the DNA results and the lack of a suspect description in the police report. Really, it's their only option."
"What about his third victim?" Arizona asked. "Her brother caught him in the act. He jumped out her bedroom window. That has to be pretty iron-clad evidence of guilt, right?"
Kent tipped his head. "I agree. I think this will be a relatively easy case to prosecute, as far as sexual assaults go. They'll probably use the consent defense on the third rape, because mistaken identity and inaccurate DNA analysis isn't really on the table. Frankly, I'm surprised they want to take this one to trial."
"Consent," Arizona said softly, with disgust. Callie felt her entire body go bowstring taut. "That couldn't possibly work, could it?"
"Arizona, I'm very confident about this one." To Callie's relief, Kent looked like he believed what he was saying. "I'll be the first one to tell you that prosecuting a rape can be a nightmare, but we have a pretty ideal set of circumstances here-forgive me, not ideal, but as far as these cases go…"
"I get it." Clearly mustering the last bit of her perky energy, Arizona sat up straighter, lightening her tone. "I understand how an obvious stranger rape would be easier to prosecute."
"We've got other things going for us as well, especially as far as your testimony. You fought back, clearly. You had visible injuries. You reported the rape immediately. And, crass as it may sound, you have the right socioeconomic background for a successful prosecution, and there are very few negatives the defense can latch onto as far as your decision-making abilities or reactions. Frankly, juries tend to respond best to victims who look like you." Kent didn't elaborate, but Callie read between the lines-Arizona was an attractive, well-respected professional, relatively affluent, sober, not promiscuous. White.
When Arizona visibly blanched, Sandy said, "I know it isn't right, but it is the reality."
"That said, I'd like to give you some tips and insight into how we can get the best out of your testimony." Kent gentled his tone, no doubt picking up Arizona's distress. "A lot of this is common sense, but it'll be helpful to review it. Are you ready?"
"Sure."
To everyone else in the room, Arizona probably sounded like she was holding herself together admirably. But Callie could see right through her. Cradling Arizona's clammy hand between her own, Callie did the only thing she could-be there.
"Great." All business, Kent launched into what was obviously a familiar speech. "So the most important rule for you to follow in the courtroom is to be truthful. That means being honest about all the details of the attack, even if they're embarrassing or seem insignificant. The account you gave to the police seems very straightforward, but I tell all sexual assault victims never to underestimate the impact of 'little lies'. If you're not completely honest about every detail, or if you try to cover up or exaggerate any details, the defense will uncover it during cross-examination. And then in closing, they'll use those 'little lies' as evidence that your testimony is not credible. We'll rehearse the questions I'm going to ask you in court, but above all else, just remember to be totally honest. Even if it's difficult."
"Okay." Arizona's cheeks had turned rosy, and she stared down at the wooden surface of the table. Callie squeezed her hand gently, but Arizona wouldn't meet her eyes.
"On a similar note, it's important that you be extremely accurate in your testimony. Make sure that the language you use is precise. For example, if he removed your panties roughly, say exactly that. A victim may describe that action as having her panties 'ripped off', but if he didn't actually tear your panties, the defense will latch on to that imprecision and question your credibility."
Arizona's expression tightened. "Sounds like I'm the one who'll be on trial."
Radiating sympathy, Sandy said, "Sad, but somewhat true."
"I read the statement you gave to the police." If Kent noticed the way Arizona flinched at his words, he didn't let on. "The good news is that I didn't spot any inconsistencies that we need to address. It's a solid account of the event, and really, the only weakness in your testimony will be the lack of a physical description of your attacker. The good news is that what description you were able to give, fits Mr. Thomas."
"Testifying about what happened to me…" Arizona trailed off, playing with Callie's fingers nervously. She paused, took a breath, then said, "What good will it do, since I didn't see him? The only reason Colin Thomas is being charged with my rape is because the DNA analysis says he did it. I can't say for certain it was him. Nothing I can tell the judge and jury about what happened to me will convince them that he's the one."
"Listen, juries are impressed by DNA evidence, but all DNA proves is that Colin Thomas ejaculated inside you. It doesn't tell a jury whether it was consensual, what the circumstances were, how violent it was…" Kent leaned forward, trying to catch Arizona's gaze as she actively avoided eye contact. "Your testimony provides context. Someone raped you, violently. DNA evidence says it was Colin Thomas. The jury needs to hear what he did, in your words, so that they understand the human impact of his actions, and the depraved and violent nature of the crime."
Color rose on Arizona's face. "I understand."
"My job is to bring charges against the accused, and to prove those charges beyond a reasonable doubt. To that end, you are a very important witness in the prosecution's case, and we will do everything we can to make the experience comfortable for you." Arizona's mouth quirked, and Kent hastened to add, "As comfortable as possible, at least. I promise to lead you through your testimony. We'll start off with easy questions-what's your name, what do you do for a living-and once we've established a back-and-forth, I'll begin asking you about the details of the crime. I'll take you through your account of the experience in a logical, calm way. All you have to do is listen to my questions, take your time, and answer clearly."
"I'll do my best." Giving Kent a tense smile, Arizona managed to meet his eyes briefly. "I'm nervous about seeing him."
"That's totally understandable," Sandy said, drawing Arizona's attention to her. "But he can't hurt you again. I promise. There will be bailiffs with guns, and plenty of people around. You'll be safe."
"I know," Arizona murmured, sounding embarrassed. "It's not that I think he'll hurt me. I just…" She shrugged. "I don't know how it'll be."
"I can only imagine." Kent's eyes shone with genuine sympathy. "On that note, when you testify-and I tell this to every victim-it's going to be important to stay calm. By that I mean, don't get angry. If you're angry, you can't think clearly." Gently, he said, "You don't seem like the angry type, but the trial will be an emotional time. Anger is understandable. But the defense can seize on that, too-I don't think it's a concern with your testimony, but in cases where consent is being argued, the defense can use anger and hostility from the victim to suggest that she should've been able to fight him off."
A look of distaste passed over Arizona's face, but she said nothing. She just nodded, prompting Kent to clear his throat and continue.
"That said, if you get emotional-sad, upset-during testimony, don't worry about it. Juries expect a rape victim to be emotional. Not being at least a little emotional could be seen as counterintuitive, something juries don't always process well." It was clear from the compassionate tone of Kent's voice that he was trying to be reassuring. The tense set of Arizona's body told Callie that it wasn't working. "So don't be ashamed about your emotions. Don't hide them."
Kent waited for Arizona to respond, and when she didn't, he said, "If you're embarrassed by a question, it's okay to preface your answer by saying that it's embarrassing. If you're not sure about something, say that. Above all else, always be honest. Don't make up details. It's better to admit you aren't certain about something than to be caught in an inconsistency."
Callie's head began to swim with the information overload Kent and Sandy were delivering. She couldn't even imagine how Arizona felt. Before this meeting, Arizona's fears about the trial seemed to center on being in the same room with the man who raped her, and having to say what he did out loud, in front of him and a room full of strangers. Now she was being given a set of rules and warnings about what to say, and how to say it. That couldn't be boosting her confidence.
Not for the first time, Callie wished she could save Arizona from having to testify. Unfortunately, they both knew how important it was.
"Cross-examination will be the hardest part, and that's when you'll really need to focus. We'll practice answering some questions they're likely to ask, but the important thing to remember is to give short, yes-or-no answers whenever possible. If they ask you to explain something, try to give an answer that focuses on what Mr. Thomas did to you." Flicking his attention to Callie, Kent explained, "A victim that restates the defendant's crime in response to defense questions will discourage them from getting out of line. Again, if you get confused, say so. The defense will likely try to confuse you, they'll look for contradictions, but as long as you stay calm, correct yourself if needed, and don't get angry, you'll be fine. I promise."
"This is a lot-" Arizona's voice broke, and she looked away, toward the wall.
"If you need to pause while you're answering questions, do it." Sandy hesitated, as though she wasn't sure whether Arizona was still mentally present. Apparently deciding that she was, she added, "Taking a moment will help you feel in control, and it's better to have a chance to breathe than to get upset. And if you get really overwhelmed and feel like you need a ten-minute break, go ahead and ask the judge to give you one. It's not an unusual request, so don't be afraid to ask for it if you need it."
Nodding, Arizona kept her gaze focused on the wall. Callie was tempted to ask for a break on Arizona's behalf, but stayed quiet. She sensed that doing so would cross the line into overprotection, again. She had to trust that Arizona would do what she needed to do to take care of herself. Kent watched Arizona as though he was trying to decide whether to press on.
After a beat, Kent said, "If you're ready, I'd like to ask you some questions about the night of your attack. We'll rehearse your testimony, address any potential issues with it."
Swallowing, Arizona finally turned her face so Callie could see her profile. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears. "May I have a ten-minute break now?"
Callie's throat caught when Arizona squeezed her hand tightly, desperately. Taking that as permission to speak, Callie said, "I think that's a good idea."
"Of course." Kent pushed back slightly from the table. "Sandy and I could leave you-"
Arizona shook her head. "No, I'd like to use the restroom."
"Turn right out the door, then take a left at the end of the hallway. You can't miss it," Sandy said.
"Thanks." Callie stood and helped Arizona to her feet. "We'll be back shortly."
"Take your time," Kent said, giving Callie a meaningful nod. She nodded back, understanding what he left unspoken-the next part was going to be the most difficult, so Arizona needed to use this time to regroup.
As soon as they left the room, Arizona took the lead, tugging Callie down the hallway by their joined hands. Callie had to practically jog to keep pace, but she did so silently, knowing that Arizona was craving privacy. She prayed that the restroom would be empty, that she would have the chance to wrap Arizona in her arms and promise that everything would be okay.
Arizona pushed open the ladies room door and walked inside. Without letting go of Callie's hand, she dragged them into the largest stall. Callie shut and locked the door behind them, then ducked her head, hoping to encourage Arizona to finally meet her eyes.
Afraid to touch her, Callie murmured, "Arizona."
Collapsing against Callie's chest, Arizona choked out a frightened, pained sob. "Just hold me."
Callie closed her eyes and gathered Arizona in a tight embrace. The thrum of Arizona's racing heart made her ache, almost as much as the knowledge that she couldn't spare Arizona from what would happen when they returned to the conference room. Aware that Arizona wouldn't understand, knowing it didn't matter, Callie spoke quiet Spanish into her ear. "Eres el amor de mi vida. Eres mi vida. Mi cielo. Eres fuerte, y todo va a estar bien."
She continued to whisper words of love, devotion, and reassurance until Arizona's body began to relax and her panic seemed to ebb. Then Callie fell silent, waiting for Arizona to gather the strength to speak.
After a full minute, Arizona whispered, "Tell me I can do this."
"You can do this," Callie said without hesitation. She believed it.
"Tell me I'm awesome."
Smiling at the hint of the old Arizona she could hear behind the words, Callie said, "You. Are. Awesome."
Arizona clung to her even more tightly. "I'm scared, Calliope."
"I know."
"I'm worried enough about having to talk about what he did to me, and now I have to worry about remembering what not to say or do so the defense can't discredit me?"
Placing her hands on Arizona's shoulders, Callie pulled back and looked her in the eyes. Face tight with tension, Arizona stared at her with a mixture of hope and trepidation. Callie wished she had something to profound to say, but she didn't. So she simply whispered, "I'm so proud of you, Arizona. Whatever happens. I have no doubt that you're going to kick ass at that trial, like you do with everything. Because you're a total bad-ass. And very, incredibly, super awesome."
Arizona's mouth twitched into a reluctant smile. "Stroking a surgeon's ego. Cheap trick."
"Did it work?"
"Maybe." Arizona trailed her fingertips down Callie's jaw line, then brushed their lips together. "I really do love you."
"Te amo tambien." Resisting the urge to deepen the kiss, Callie drew back and tucked a lock of Arizona's hair behind her ear. "Are you ready to go back?"
Arizona shook her head. "Not yet." Burrowing into Callie's embrace once more, she closed her eyes and exhaled. "Just talk to me for another minute."
Understanding exactly what Arizona needed, Callie pulled her closer and murmured, "Quiero estar contigo para siempre."
Callie grinned when Arizona's breathing hitched at the heartfelt words. Clearly she didn't need to know the language to understand what Callie meant: I want to be with you forever.
#
Driving home after a twelve-hour shift, Arizona had to struggle to stay awake. She'd gone to the hospital straight from her appointment at the prosecutor's office, leaving Callie with a brief kiss and a tight hug, and then powered her way through three emergency surgeries in the aftermath of what had been one of the most emotionally trying experiences of her life.
Practicing her testimony had been terrifying, humiliating, and painful-almost as though she was being violated all over again. She'd felt the same way about being questioned by Detective Mendoza the night of the attack, but hadn't experienced anything so intensely invasive since. None of her flashbacks or nightmares had managed to unnerve her as badly as having to answer Kent Johnson's questions. Having to recall how Colin Thomas had tackled her against her car, how many times he punched her, where he touched her, and how, what he'd said-it had taken all of Arizona's willpower to get through her excruciating, deliberate account of how it felt to be raped.
Having to say the words out loud to a man had been more difficult than she'd anticipated. Kent Johnson was a nice guy, he was on her side, but it didn't make talking about what happened any easier. The worst part was that Arizona knew the actual trial would be exponentially harder. Not only would there be an entire room full of people-men and women-listening to her, but one of them would be her rapist. She had no idea how she would make it through that day.
At the sight of a pink Post-It note stuck to her dashboard, Arizona eased into a reluctant smile. That wasn't true. She knew exactly how she'd make it-with Callie.
On their way out of the prosecutor's office, Callie had asked the receptionist if she could borrow a pen and a Post-It. Still shaking from the experience of reliving her attack in front of two strangers, Arizona hadn't paid much attention to whatever Callie jotted down on the note. All she wanted was to get to the privacy of her car, where she could finally break down. After their lingering embrace and gentle kiss in the parking lot next to Arizona's car, Callie had surprised her by opening the driver's side door and affixing the note to the right of her steering wheel. Through her tears, Arizona had managed a smile when she read what Callie had written: You are Awesome!
A simple message, but one that Arizona desperately needed to believe.
Parking in her reserved spot outside their apartment, Arizona felt re-energized by her sudden need to see Callie, to sink into the safety of her embrace. She smiled at the pink slip of paper, tracing the letters with her fingertip, then turned the key to kill her car's engine. She reached for the door handle on instinct, then stopped, heart leaping into her throat.
It was still dark outside.
At five in the morning, the sky hadn't yet begun to lighten. Owen had walked her to her car at the hospital, and Arizona hadn't even thought about what she would do once she got home, or how she would feel.
This was the first time she'd been out alone, in the dark, since the rape. Until this moment, she'd always had someone accompany her home at night-mostly Callie, but also Teddy, occasionally Mark. Somehow the fact that she would have to get out of her car and walk through the darkness into her apartment building alone had completely escaped her notice. Until now.
Arizona released the door handle, glancing around nervously. The parking lot was empty, quiet. Just as the employee lot had seemed that night. Last time, Arizona hadn't realized anyone was lying in wait until the moment he grabbed her. Not seeing any threat didn't mean there wasn't one.
She was being ridiculous. She knew that. The probability that she would be attacked again was low, and frankly, she needed to conquer her fear at some point. She was a grown woman, an accomplished surgeon, and she couldn't rely on other people to make her feel safe for the rest of her life.
Digging through her purse, Arizona pulled out the canister of pepper spray she'd started carrying after the attack. She hadn't had one on the night of the rape. Things were different now. She was more cautious, better prepared. It wouldn't happen again. It couldn't.
Arizona's hand shook as she reached for the door handle. She grasped it tightly, willing herself to calm down. She could do this. It was a short walk to the door, where she would key in to the building and be safe. Nobody was around. If she needed to sprint for the building, she could. Nobody would judge her.
Except she couldn't seem to force her body to move. Arizona was frozen in place, heart racing, palms sweating. No matter what her brain told her-that she wouldn't be attacked again, that she had pepper spray this time-her body refused to break out of its paralysis and obey her mind's command to go.
It could happen again. It was possible-maybe not probable, but possible. And she couldn't go through that again. She just couldn't.
Humiliated, Arizona pulled her cell phone out of her purse and called Callie's number. She hated herself for her weakness, particularly because she knew that Callie was most likely still asleep, nestled warmly in their bed. But she also knew that Callie wouldn't make her feel bad about this, that Callie would want her to ask for help when she needed it. And God, did she need it right now.
"Arizona?"
The low timbre of Callie's voice, scratchy with sleep, triggered hot tears of relief. Sniffling, Arizona said, "Hey."
"Hey." Callie sounded more awake now, and her smile was evident in her voice. "I miss you. Are you coming home?"
Arizona bit her lip, suddenly tempted to lie and tell Callie she was just leaving the hospital, and that she'd be home soon. To hang up and gather her courage, so she wouldn't have to admit just how frightened she felt about something that used to be so easy.
But she couldn't. Reminding herself that Callie wouldn't make her feel silly, Arizona said, "I'm parked out front."
"Is everything okay?" There was a rustling noise on Callie's end of the line, probably her climbing out of bed.
Arizona closed her eyes. "I'm too scared to get out of the car."
Callie's response was immediate. "I'll be right there."
"Thank you," Arizona whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Don't you ever be sorry," Callie said. Arizona could hear her moving now, and her chest tightened with guilt over disturbing her rest. "Stay on the phone with me. I just need to put something on, okay?"
Relaxing slightly, Arizona mustered up a flirtatious tone. "Does that mean you're naked?"
"Was naked." Chuckling lightly, Callie dropped her voice an octave, as she always did when she teased Arizona. "You like that?"
"I love it when you're naked," Arizona answered honestly.
"It's even better when you're naked with me."
"Agreed." Arizona opened her eyes and took another survey of the parking lot. Still quiet. Her gaze dropped to the pink Post-It note, and Callie's neatly printed message. She didn't exactly feel awesome at the moment. "When I left the hospital, I wasn't thinking about having to walk inside alone. It just didn't occur to me. And I did try, but-"
"Sweetheart, stop." The emotion in Callie's voice stole whatever words Arizona may have had. "It's okay. Thank you for calling me. For letting me help."
Arizona nodded. Callie couldn't see her, of course, but she wasn't sure what to say. "I feel stupid."
"You're not stupid. I'd rather come get you than have you go through that alone, trust me."
A quiet sound on Callie's end of the line drew Arizona's attention to the front door. Her heart rate increased as Callie stepped out into the night dressed in a pair of silky red pajamas and slippers. Broken out of her temporary paralysis, Arizona suddenly couldn't scramble out of the car fast enough.
"Callie-" Arizona said into the phone, just as Callie noticed her across the parking lot and broke into a sexy, welcoming grin.
Callie disconnected their call and opened her arms. Feeling ridiculous, Arizona rushed into her embrace, clutching her tightly. She concentrated on her breathing, aware that she was teetering on the edge of losing her control.
"Hey," Callie whispered, holding her close. "You're okay."
Anxious to get them both inside, Arizona drew away and tugged Callie along by her hand. "Please. Let's go."
Callie wrapped her arm around Arizona's waist, forcing her to take slow, measured steps. "We're going. We aren't going to run, though. We're going to walk."
"Callie-"
Shaking her head, Callie pulled her tighter against her side. "You're safe. I promise."
Arizona took a deep breath, leaning into Callie for support. "Okay."
They took the elevator upstairs. Once inside, Callie kissed the top of her head and loosened her grip. "I'm really happy to see you."
Arizona's eyes stung as fought to hold back her tears. No more crying, she told herself, but that didn't stop burning pressure from building in her chest. For the past twelve hours she'd wanted nothing more than to get to this moment, being with Callie, and now that she was here, she felt too silly and weak and angry to enjoy it. "All I wanted was to come home and see you," Arizona whispered, hating the tremor in her voice.
"And now you're here." The elevator doors slid open and Callie guided her into the hallway. She squeezed Arizona's hand as they approached the apartment door, and safety. "I vote we go to bed and cuddle. You've got to be dead on your feet."
She appreciated how Callie was trying to ease her past this, she really did, but Arizona wasn't going to be dragged out of her dark mood so easily. All she wanted in the world was to crawl in bed with Callie and relax, but any exhaustion she'd felt earlier was long gone. The fear of being alone in the dark had left her wired. She would never be able to fall asleep now.
"How about I meet you there." Arizona followed Callie into their apartment, then locked the door behind them with trembling hands. "I think I'm going to take a quick shower first."
"Whatever you need," Callie said, sliding her arms around Arizona's waist from behind. "Do you want company?"
Pleased that Callie's presence at her back hadn't startled her, Arizona leaned against her chest and exhaled. A warm feeling of security enveloped her, but it wasn't enough to quell her need for some breathing room. When her emotions were this intense, her instinct was still to retreat. "No, that's okay. I'll only be a couple of minutes."
"I'll be waiting." Callie released her with a tender squeeze, kissing her neck before drawing away. "I've been missing you all night."
Arizona turned to face her, managing a tremulous smile. "Me, too."
Wordlessly, Callie offered her hand and Arizona accepted it. She allowed Callie to lead her to the bedroom, then murmured her thanks when Callie opened the bathroom door and stepped to the side. Arizona closed the door behind her, feeling Callie's absence instantly, but relieved for the temporary reprieve. She wanted to get her emotions under control before she returned to Callie. Between the meeting with Kent Johnson and now her freak-out in the parking lot, Arizona had shown Callie nothing but fear and weakness over the past day.
She hated it. This wasn't her, the woman she wanted to be. The one she used to be.
Arizona turned on the shower, adjusted the water to somewhere just shy of scalding, and stripped off her clothes. Climbing in, she hissed in pleasure as the spray hit her chest, thoroughly enjoying the way the heat instantly loosened her tense muscles. Almost as soon as her anxiety began to ease, Arizona realized that she wished she'd taken Callie up on her offer of company. Now that her heart rate had slowed to normal and her mind began to clear, she yearned for Callie's presence. Nothing made her feel stronger than being wrapped up in their intimacy.
After a quick wash, Arizona cut off the water, then stepped onto the bath mat and grabbed a towel from the rack. She dried off as fast as she could, no longer wanting to be alone. Not when the woman who always made her feel better was waiting in the next room.
This was still new for her, accepting that another person could give her strength. Growing up, Arizona had learned to be self-reliant to a fault. She had to be. Being a military brat, the great lesson of her childhood was that there were no constants in life, and the only person she could count on was herself. As soon as she made a friend, her father could come home with new orders, and not once did a childhood friendship survive the inevitable distance that entailed. So it was easier never to invest too much, or become too attached.
That had always been true, until Callie. Now Arizona was in uncharted territory. She had someone, finally, who was sticking with her through the hardest months of her life. Someone who made her believe she could survive anything. Leaning on Callie went against her instincts, but it also felt so much better than going it alone. So she was going to damn well do it, without second-guessing.
Arizona walked out of the bathroom naked, determined to regain her confidence. She was sick and tired of being scared. Here, with Callie, she had nothing to fear.
Callie came up on her elbows to watch Arizona approach the bed. The comforter slipped off her bare shoulders just as Arizona noticed Callie's pajamas pooled on the floor. Callie's eyes burned with love and desire, drinking her nudity in.
A twinge of self-consciousness slowed Arizona to a stop. Moments ago, all she'd wanted was to project strength. But after the day she'd had, even her best effort faltered under Callie's blatant appraisal. Just the thought of Callie lying naked beneath that blanket ignited Arizona's need, yet instead of slipping into bed beside her, she hesitated.
"I don't mean to embarrass you," Callie murmured, finally meeting Arizona's gaze. "You're just so beautiful."
Knowing Callie meant it, Arizona raised an eyebrow. "So are you."
Callie drew back the comforter and gestured for Arizona to climb in next to her. Obeying the silent request, Arizona admired Callie's bare breasts, and the gentle curve of her belly. By the time Callie drew up the covers, enclosing them in the warmth her body had generated, Arizona's remaining disquiet had given way to insistent arousal.
So when Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona and pulled her in to a full body embrace, she kissed Callie's neck and whispered, "I want to make love."
Callie's breathing picked up and a little noise rumbled in the back of her throat. But she made no attempt to initiate further contact. "Baby, you must be exhausted. Why don't we wait until you wake up, in a few hours?"
Arizona found Callie's hips with her hands, gripping them firmly. She knew Callie was wide-awake, rested, and just as interested in being close as she was. It was obvious in the tense set of her muscles, and her slightly uneven breathing pattern. Clearly Callie wasn't convinced that Arizona was up for it, which made Arizona even more determined to push ahead.
"No." Nipping at Callie's throat, Arizona slipped her leg between Callie's, instantly finding her wetness. She dragged her thigh along Callie's pussy, coating her skin in hot, slick juices. "I want you now."
Callie rolled onto her back, dragging Arizona on top of her. "I want you, too."
Powerful emotion surged through Arizona-relief and longing and equal parts determination, frustration, and love-and she captured Callie's mouth in a deep, possessive kiss. Callie dragged her blunt fingernails down the length of Arizona's back, raising goosebumps, then cupped Arizona's buttocks in both hands, drawing her closer. Arizona broke their kiss and leaned her forehead against Callie's, moaning softly.
"Tell me what you want," Callie husked into her ear. She bent her knee, then used her hands to encourage Arizona to grind against the firm length of her thigh. "Tell me what to do."
Happy to take control, but wanting to touch Callie just as badly as she needed to be touched, Arizona licked the edge of Callie's ear and whispered, "Do what I do."
Then she sat up, straddling Callie's hips. The comforter fell around her waist, and she shoved it behind her and off their bodies, wanting to see Callie's naked curves. Callie stared up at her from beneath heavy-lidded eyes, arms lying passively at her sides, seemingly waiting to see what would happen next.
Callie had the most gorgeous breasts that Arizona had ever seen. Literally. They were full and caramel-colored and topped with beautifully puckered nipples that tasted uniquely Callie-flavored, and fit perfectly in Arizona's mouth. Rocking against Callie unthinkingly, Arizona reached down and covered Callie's breasts with reverent hands. Callie sucked in a breath but didn't otherwise move. After a beat, Arizona squeezed Callie's breasts tenderly. "Do what I do," she repeated, then smiled when Callie quickly raised her hands to cup Arizona's breasts.
"Like this?" Callie caressed her gently.
Arizona nodded, rubbing her thumbs along the undersides of Callie's breasts, then up over her hard nipples. A moment later, Callie mimicked her action. Whimpering, Arizona rubbed circles around Callie's areola, delighting in the way her own nipples tightened under Callie's identical ministrations. "Perfect," Arizona said.
As her ardor rose, so did the need for more stimulation. Arizona captured the erect tips of Callie's breasts between her thumbs and forefingers, pinching lightly. Her pussy clenched as Callie followed suit, and when she twisted Callie's flesh sharply, Callie rewarded her by matching her motion without hesitation.
"Oh, fuck," Arizona ground out, releasing Callie's nipples-and her own. "Like masturbation, only so much better."
Callie laughed. "And with so many more possibilities."
"I'll say." Arizona traced the shape of Callie's breasts with her fingertips, closing her eyes as Callie did the same to her. The connection between them was palpable, and electric.
Groaning, Callie murmured, "Are you as wet as I am?"
"Let's find out," Arizona said, and turned her body around, shoving the comforter off the bed altogether. She planted her knees beside Callie's head and used her hands to coax Callie's thighs apart. This position could so easily make her feel exposed and insecure, but the sight of Callie's wet, swollen folds distracted her from dwelling on how vulnerable she really was.
Callie held her hips, stroking her thumbs over the curve of her buttocks, just brushing the edge of her labia. "The answer is yes, by the way," Callie said, tugging Arizona closer, hot breath washing over her wetness. "Please tell me you're going to let me taste this."
Smiling at the need in Callie's hoarse voice, Arizona lowered her face and planted a soft, lingering kiss on her clit. She tightened her jaw, whimpering, when Callie returned her kiss. Testing, Arizona swiped her tongue up Callie's length, then arched her back as Callie mirrored the caress.
Done talking, Arizona spread Callie open with her hand and dove in-licking, sucking, kissing Callie exactly as she wanted to be touched. She only had to wait a moment to feel her own actions repeated, and each one was, with precision. The resulting sensation was that of total control over their lovemaking, which only turned her on more. Soon she craved more than the insistent suction of Callie's lips wrapped around her clit, and she moved her hand down, circling Callie's opening with her fingertip.
After the slightest hesitation, Arizona felt Callie tease her entrance with a feather-soft touch. Arizona hadn't asked for a lot of penetration since they'd resumed their sex life, and she knew this act was the source of most of their remaining anxiety in the bedroom. Truthfully, it was mostly Callie who was nervous, so her willingness to follow Arizona's lead now meant everything. Arizona wanted Callie inside her desperately, to deepen the powerful connection they'd already created.
Laving Callie's clit with her tongue, Arizona slid a single finger inside her pussy. She tensed slightly in anticipation of Callie's entry, then groaned at the exquisite pleasure of being filled with deliberate care. Callie tightened her free hand on Arizona's buttocks, keeping her pressed to the mouth that continued to work her clit in the rhythm Arizona dictated.
Arizona set a steady pace, fucking Callie exactly how she wanted to be fucked-just one finger, deep, excruciatingly slow. It didn't take long before Callie's thighs began to tremble beneath her forearms, quaking in the way they always did right before Callie came. Aware that she was also close to release, Arizona used her free hand to pull back the hood of Callie's clit, then covered the engorged flesh with her whole mouth, sucking firmly.
Callie stiffened and cried out against Arizona's pussy, then frantically worked Arizona with her tongue and fingers, until Arizona peaked with her. Tempted to keep pleasuring Callie as she rode out her orgasm, Arizona instead took pity on her and relented when she Callie's body jerked convulsively beneath her, a sure sign that she'd had enough.
Lifting her face, Arizona was pleased when Callie kept going, fingering her as she drew out Arizona's climax. Wanton and unashamed, Arizona raised her upper body and rocked back against Callie's face, using her leverage to coax out a second, weaker orgasm, which rolled through her body as a welcome aftershock. Callie withdrew from her pussy and moved her mouth up to work at her opening, lapping up the copious fluid produced by her roaring climax.
No longer self-conscious in the slightest, Arizona lingered in their intimate embrace. She lifted off Callie slightly but didn't pull away, enjoying the warm tongue that continued to lick her clean. Lowering her face again, Arizona covered Callie's inner thighs in worshipful kisses, grinning when Callie did the same.
Needing to look into Callie's eyes, Arizona sat up, turning around then melting into the outstretched arms that were waiting for her. Callie hugged her tight, raising her head to give Arizona a kiss that mingled their flavors. Arizona murmured happily into Callie's mouth and returned her passionate hug.
Callie broke their kiss, panting. "That was incredible."
"Yes, it was." Arizona nipped at Callie's nose playfully. "My little sex puppet."
This made Callie shake with laughter. "Really?"
"Well, weren't you?" Rolling off to the side, Arizona wasted no time settling into Callie's warm embrace. "I definitely felt like I was pulling some strings just now. Incredibly sexy strings."
A very unladylike snort escaped from Callie, making Arizona giggle. "I guess you were. And quite well, might I add."
"Thanks." Beaming, Arizona allowed her eyes to slip closed. Tranquil for the first time in days, her lack of sleep suddenly hit her full force. "Whoa," she mumbled. "Tired."
"I know." Callie gathered her closer, kissing the top of her head. "It's time for you to get some rest."
"You'll be here when I wake up?"
"Definitely." Callie ran her hand over Arizona's flank, a nearly imperceptible tremor in her voice. "Nowhere I'd rather be."
The best part was that Arizona believed her. "Calliope?"
"Yeah?"
"I need you." Despite her exhaustion, Arizona's throat tightened at the confession. "All the time."
Even six months ago, she wouldn't have been able to confess the depth of her need to Callie. But things were different now.
"That's good," Callie whispered. "Because I need you, too."
"Good." Rolling into her side, Arizona sighed contentedly when Callie spooned her from behind. "As long as we've got that settled."
Callie chuckled. "That, and the fact that you are awesome."
Arizona drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.
To be continued…
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When Arizona is attacked in the parking lot of Seattle Grace, everything changes...and her relationship with Callie is put to the test.
Content Warning
This story deals with the topic of rape and recovery. I am rating it a hard M for graphic depictions of rape, violence, and, eventually, consensual sex.
I would never write about rape frivolously, nor to titillate. There's a lot of fan fiction out there that deals with sexual assault in all manner of ways, many of them distasteful. The last thing I want to do is add to the litany of "rapefic" that traumatizes beloved characters for the sake of creating a juicy story.
At the same time, rape and sexual assault is a reality. As such, I believe it is a legitimate subject for fiction, especially when the focus is not so much on the physical act but on the psychological repercussions, the aftershocks such an event can unleash in a survivor's life.
If the frank depiction of rape and the pain of recovery (physical, emotional, and sexual) is likely to trigger or otherwise upset you, I would honestly give this story a pass. I don't plan on pulling any punches. I do plan on handling this the most respectful way I know how.
Eek. I'm sorry, guys. No great excuses-had to attend a function in early March that totally freaked me out and made me anxious, which sort of made me worthless as far as writing went, for a while. Then just trying to juggle life and other writing projects with this one... Anyway, I do apologize (because I'd hate the bitch who made me wait so long for a story I was following g), and I hope you enjoy.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Under the conference room table in the King County prosecutor's office, Callie traced soothing patterns over Arizona's palm as they waited for Kent Johnson to come talk to them. She hoped the contact would calm Arizona down, because right now she was so on edge it made Callie's stomach hurt. The fact that she hadn't been there for Arizona during the long hours leading up to this appointment had been hard enough, but now that she could see how close Arizona was to outright panic, she cursed the long shift that had kept her away.
This was the first time they'd been alone for almost thirty-two hours, the result of conflicting schedules and a hellishly busy atmosphere at the hospital. Being apart was never easy, but knowing how anxious Arizona had been for the past few days made it even worse. For the past thirty hours, all Callie had wanted was to wrap Arizona in her arms.
As though reading her mind, Arizona said, "I wish we were at home, curled up in bed."
"Me too." Callie covered Arizona's hand with her own, squeezing gently. After this meeting, Arizona would head back to the hospital while Callie went home for some much-needed sleep. Which meant that they were still a good fourteen hours away from having some quality time together. "Tomorrow morning, you and me. It's a date."
Arizona avoided her gaze, radiating sadness. "That sucks."
"I know."
"You must be exhausted."
Shaking her head, Callie said, "Just a little." It was mostly true-as exhausted as she was, the anxiety she felt about Arizona having to go through something she'd been dreading had Callie keyed up. There was no way she could rest right now, even if she were at home.
"Liar." A smile tugged at Arizona's mouth, and she finally met Callie's eyes. "Thanks for being here with me."
"I will always be with you," Callie said. She wouldn't have missed this appointment for anything. Not when Arizona had been losing sleep over it. "Are you okay?"
Arizona grimaced. "My stomach hurts."
"I'm sorry." Callie rubbed her thumb over Arizona's palm. "This part will be over soon."
Lowering her voice to a whisper, Arizona said, "I hope I don't cry."
The conference room door opened before Callie could answer. Arizona straightened and quickly wiped a hand over her face, composing herself. She greeted the man and woman who entered with a polite smile.
"Dr. Robbins?" the man said, extending his hand across the table in greeting. "I'm Kent Johnson." He shook Arizona's hand, then Callie's, then gestured at the attractive redhead beside him, who carried a stack of legal pads and manila folders. "This is Sandy Barnes, one of our victims advocates. She'll be working with us to help prepare you to testify in the state's case against Colin Thomas."
"It's nice to meet you." Outwardly, Arizona's voice was pleasant, even chipper. But Callie could hear the terror beneath the surface. "This is my partner, Calliope. She'll be providing me with moral support."
Sandy set down her files and shook Arizona's hand. "Excellent."
"Can I get either of you something to drink?" Kent asked. "Coffee, tea? A glass of water?"
Arizona placed her hand back in Callie's. "No, thanks."
When Kent looked at her, Callie said, "I'm fine."
"Great." Kent sat down, grabbed a legal pad, and uncapped a pen. Then folded his hands on the table, meeting Arizona's eyes. "We appreciate you coming in today, Dr. Robbins-"
"Arizona."
He nodded, acknowledging Arizona's correction. "I realize that testifying can be a traumatic experience for victims, and I want you to know that Sandy and I will do everything we can to answer your questions and help you feel prepared. The purpose of today's meeting is to give you an idea about what to expect from the trial, to talk about your testimony, and to otherwise get you ready for what comes next."
Arizona swallowed. "I understand."
"Before we get started, it's important to talk about what this trial is, and what it isn't. The state is prosecuting Colin Thomas for three counts of rape, among other charges." Kent hesitated, glanced at Callie for a moment, then back to Arizona. "I need to make it clear that I'm not your attorney. I'm the state's attorney, prosecuting the state's case against Colin Thomas. That means that I'm not acting in your interests, technically, and that your role in the trial is as a witness for the prosecution, rather than as the plaintiff."
Arizona nodded, tightening her grip on Callie's hand. Her palm was sweaty. Callie stroked a thumb over Arizona's knuckle, offering silent support.
Kent gestured to Sandy, who picked up where he left off. "Pretrial preparation is so important specifically because it's traumatic to be asked to mentally relive your attack in front of the defendant and a courtroom of strangers. The good news is that a stranger rape is the easiest type to prosecute, and the state has a strong case against Mr. Thomas."
"I'm glad," Arizona said quietly. "I am nervous, but I'm happy to do whatever I can to make sure he's punished."
"As scary as it may be, testifying can also be empowering, and hopefully the experience will provide some closure for you." Sandy opened a file and glanced at the paper inside. "The defendant has pled not guilty, but luckily consent is not a realistic defense in your case. Between the injuries you sustained, the location he chose, and your sexual history, no jury in the world will see this as anything other than an unprovoked attack. I suspect that the defense will focus on the accuracy of the DNA results and the lack of a suspect description in the police report. Really, it's their only option."
"What about his third victim?" Arizona asked. "Her brother caught him in the act. He jumped out her bedroom window. That has to be pretty iron-clad evidence of guilt, right?"
Kent tipped his head. "I agree. I think this will be a relatively easy case to prosecute, as far as sexual assaults go. They'll probably use the consent defense on the third rape, because mistaken identity and inaccurate DNA analysis isn't really on the table. Frankly, I'm surprised they want to take this one to trial."
"Consent," Arizona said softly, with disgust. Callie felt her entire body go bowstring taut. "That couldn't possibly work, could it?"
"Arizona, I'm very confident about this one." To Callie's relief, Kent looked like he believed what he was saying. "I'll be the first one to tell you that prosecuting a rape can be a nightmare, but we have a pretty ideal set of circumstances here-forgive me, not ideal, but as far as these cases go…"
"I get it." Clearly mustering the last bit of her perky energy, Arizona sat up straighter, lightening her tone. "I understand how an obvious stranger rape would be easier to prosecute."
"We've got other things going for us as well, especially as far as your testimony. You fought back, clearly. You had visible injuries. You reported the rape immediately. And, crass as it may sound, you have the right socioeconomic background for a successful prosecution, and there are very few negatives the defense can latch onto as far as your decision-making abilities or reactions. Frankly, juries tend to respond best to victims who look like you." Kent didn't elaborate, but Callie read between the lines-Arizona was an attractive, well-respected professional, relatively affluent, sober, not promiscuous. White.
When Arizona visibly blanched, Sandy said, "I know it isn't right, but it is the reality."
"That said, I'd like to give you some tips and insight into how we can get the best out of your testimony." Kent gentled his tone, no doubt picking up Arizona's distress. "A lot of this is common sense, but it'll be helpful to review it. Are you ready?"
"Sure."
To everyone else in the room, Arizona probably sounded like she was holding herself together admirably. But Callie could see right through her. Cradling Arizona's clammy hand between her own, Callie did the only thing she could-be there.
"Great." All business, Kent launched into what was obviously a familiar speech. "So the most important rule for you to follow in the courtroom is to be truthful. That means being honest about all the details of the attack, even if they're embarrassing or seem insignificant. The account you gave to the police seems very straightforward, but I tell all sexual assault victims never to underestimate the impact of 'little lies'. If you're not completely honest about every detail, or if you try to cover up or exaggerate any details, the defense will uncover it during cross-examination. And then in closing, they'll use those 'little lies' as evidence that your testimony is not credible. We'll rehearse the questions I'm going to ask you in court, but above all else, just remember to be totally honest. Even if it's difficult."
"Okay." Arizona's cheeks had turned rosy, and she stared down at the wooden surface of the table. Callie squeezed her hand gently, but Arizona wouldn't meet her eyes.
"On a similar note, it's important that you be extremely accurate in your testimony. Make sure that the language you use is precise. For example, if he removed your panties roughly, say exactly that. A victim may describe that action as having her panties 'ripped off', but if he didn't actually tear your panties, the defense will latch on to that imprecision and question your credibility."
Arizona's expression tightened. "Sounds like I'm the one who'll be on trial."
Radiating sympathy, Sandy said, "Sad, but somewhat true."
"I read the statement you gave to the police." If Kent noticed the way Arizona flinched at his words, he didn't let on. "The good news is that I didn't spot any inconsistencies that we need to address. It's a solid account of the event, and really, the only weakness in your testimony will be the lack of a physical description of your attacker. The good news is that what description you were able to give, fits Mr. Thomas."
"Testifying about what happened to me…" Arizona trailed off, playing with Callie's fingers nervously. She paused, took a breath, then said, "What good will it do, since I didn't see him? The only reason Colin Thomas is being charged with my rape is because the DNA analysis says he did it. I can't say for certain it was him. Nothing I can tell the judge and jury about what happened to me will convince them that he's the one."
"Listen, juries are impressed by DNA evidence, but all DNA proves is that Colin Thomas ejaculated inside you. It doesn't tell a jury whether it was consensual, what the circumstances were, how violent it was…" Kent leaned forward, trying to catch Arizona's gaze as she actively avoided eye contact. "Your testimony provides context. Someone raped you, violently. DNA evidence says it was Colin Thomas. The jury needs to hear what he did, in your words, so that they understand the human impact of his actions, and the depraved and violent nature of the crime."
Color rose on Arizona's face. "I understand."
"My job is to bring charges against the accused, and to prove those charges beyond a reasonable doubt. To that end, you are a very important witness in the prosecution's case, and we will do everything we can to make the experience comfortable for you." Arizona's mouth quirked, and Kent hastened to add, "As comfortable as possible, at least. I promise to lead you through your testimony. We'll start off with easy questions-what's your name, what do you do for a living-and once we've established a back-and-forth, I'll begin asking you about the details of the crime. I'll take you through your account of the experience in a logical, calm way. All you have to do is listen to my questions, take your time, and answer clearly."
"I'll do my best." Giving Kent a tense smile, Arizona managed to meet his eyes briefly. "I'm nervous about seeing him."
"That's totally understandable," Sandy said, drawing Arizona's attention to her. "But he can't hurt you again. I promise. There will be bailiffs with guns, and plenty of people around. You'll be safe."
"I know," Arizona murmured, sounding embarrassed. "It's not that I think he'll hurt me. I just…" She shrugged. "I don't know how it'll be."
"I can only imagine." Kent's eyes shone with genuine sympathy. "On that note, when you testify-and I tell this to every victim-it's going to be important to stay calm. By that I mean, don't get angry. If you're angry, you can't think clearly." Gently, he said, "You don't seem like the angry type, but the trial will be an emotional time. Anger is understandable. But the defense can seize on that, too-I don't think it's a concern with your testimony, but in cases where consent is being argued, the defense can use anger and hostility from the victim to suggest that she should've been able to fight him off."
A look of distaste passed over Arizona's face, but she said nothing. She just nodded, prompting Kent to clear his throat and continue.
"That said, if you get emotional-sad, upset-during testimony, don't worry about it. Juries expect a rape victim to be emotional. Not being at least a little emotional could be seen as counterintuitive, something juries don't always process well." It was clear from the compassionate tone of Kent's voice that he was trying to be reassuring. The tense set of Arizona's body told Callie that it wasn't working. "So don't be ashamed about your emotions. Don't hide them."
Kent waited for Arizona to respond, and when she didn't, he said, "If you're embarrassed by a question, it's okay to preface your answer by saying that it's embarrassing. If you're not sure about something, say that. Above all else, always be honest. Don't make up details. It's better to admit you aren't certain about something than to be caught in an inconsistency."
Callie's head began to swim with the information overload Kent and Sandy were delivering. She couldn't even imagine how Arizona felt. Before this meeting, Arizona's fears about the trial seemed to center on being in the same room with the man who raped her, and having to say what he did out loud, in front of him and a room full of strangers. Now she was being given a set of rules and warnings about what to say, and how to say it. That couldn't be boosting her confidence.
Not for the first time, Callie wished she could save Arizona from having to testify. Unfortunately, they both knew how important it was.
"Cross-examination will be the hardest part, and that's when you'll really need to focus. We'll practice answering some questions they're likely to ask, but the important thing to remember is to give short, yes-or-no answers whenever possible. If they ask you to explain something, try to give an answer that focuses on what Mr. Thomas did to you." Flicking his attention to Callie, Kent explained, "A victim that restates the defendant's crime in response to defense questions will discourage them from getting out of line. Again, if you get confused, say so. The defense will likely try to confuse you, they'll look for contradictions, but as long as you stay calm, correct yourself if needed, and don't get angry, you'll be fine. I promise."
"This is a lot-" Arizona's voice broke, and she looked away, toward the wall.
"If you need to pause while you're answering questions, do it." Sandy hesitated, as though she wasn't sure whether Arizona was still mentally present. Apparently deciding that she was, she added, "Taking a moment will help you feel in control, and it's better to have a chance to breathe than to get upset. And if you get really overwhelmed and feel like you need a ten-minute break, go ahead and ask the judge to give you one. It's not an unusual request, so don't be afraid to ask for it if you need it."
Nodding, Arizona kept her gaze focused on the wall. Callie was tempted to ask for a break on Arizona's behalf, but stayed quiet. She sensed that doing so would cross the line into overprotection, again. She had to trust that Arizona would do what she needed to do to take care of herself. Kent watched Arizona as though he was trying to decide whether to press on.
After a beat, Kent said, "If you're ready, I'd like to ask you some questions about the night of your attack. We'll rehearse your testimony, address any potential issues with it."
Swallowing, Arizona finally turned her face so Callie could see her profile. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears. "May I have a ten-minute break now?"
Callie's throat caught when Arizona squeezed her hand tightly, desperately. Taking that as permission to speak, Callie said, "I think that's a good idea."
"Of course." Kent pushed back slightly from the table. "Sandy and I could leave you-"
Arizona shook her head. "No, I'd like to use the restroom."
"Turn right out the door, then take a left at the end of the hallway. You can't miss it," Sandy said.
"Thanks." Callie stood and helped Arizona to her feet. "We'll be back shortly."
"Take your time," Kent said, giving Callie a meaningful nod. She nodded back, understanding what he left unspoken-the next part was going to be the most difficult, so Arizona needed to use this time to regroup.
As soon as they left the room, Arizona took the lead, tugging Callie down the hallway by their joined hands. Callie had to practically jog to keep pace, but she did so silently, knowing that Arizona was craving privacy. She prayed that the restroom would be empty, that she would have the chance to wrap Arizona in her arms and promise that everything would be okay.
Arizona pushed open the ladies room door and walked inside. Without letting go of Callie's hand, she dragged them into the largest stall. Callie shut and locked the door behind them, then ducked her head, hoping to encourage Arizona to finally meet her eyes.
Afraid to touch her, Callie murmured, "Arizona."
Collapsing against Callie's chest, Arizona choked out a frightened, pained sob. "Just hold me."
Callie closed her eyes and gathered Arizona in a tight embrace. The thrum of Arizona's racing heart made her ache, almost as much as the knowledge that she couldn't spare Arizona from what would happen when they returned to the conference room. Aware that Arizona wouldn't understand, knowing it didn't matter, Callie spoke quiet Spanish into her ear. "Eres el amor de mi vida. Eres mi vida. Mi cielo. Eres fuerte, y todo va a estar bien."
She continued to whisper words of love, devotion, and reassurance until Arizona's body began to relax and her panic seemed to ebb. Then Callie fell silent, waiting for Arizona to gather the strength to speak.
After a full minute, Arizona whispered, "Tell me I can do this."
"You can do this," Callie said without hesitation. She believed it.
"Tell me I'm awesome."
Smiling at the hint of the old Arizona she could hear behind the words, Callie said, "You. Are. Awesome."
Arizona clung to her even more tightly. "I'm scared, Calliope."
"I know."
"I'm worried enough about having to talk about what he did to me, and now I have to worry about remembering what not to say or do so the defense can't discredit me?"
Placing her hands on Arizona's shoulders, Callie pulled back and looked her in the eyes. Face tight with tension, Arizona stared at her with a mixture of hope and trepidation. Callie wished she had something to profound to say, but she didn't. So she simply whispered, "I'm so proud of you, Arizona. Whatever happens. I have no doubt that you're going to kick ass at that trial, like you do with everything. Because you're a total bad-ass. And very, incredibly, super awesome."
Arizona's mouth twitched into a reluctant smile. "Stroking a surgeon's ego. Cheap trick."
"Did it work?"
"Maybe." Arizona trailed her fingertips down Callie's jaw line, then brushed their lips together. "I really do love you."
"Te amo tambien." Resisting the urge to deepen the kiss, Callie drew back and tucked a lock of Arizona's hair behind her ear. "Are you ready to go back?"
Arizona shook her head. "Not yet." Burrowing into Callie's embrace once more, she closed her eyes and exhaled. "Just talk to me for another minute."
Understanding exactly what Arizona needed, Callie pulled her closer and murmured, "Quiero estar contigo para siempre."
Callie grinned when Arizona's breathing hitched at the heartfelt words. Clearly she didn't need to know the language to understand what Callie meant: I want to be with you forever.
#
Driving home after a twelve-hour shift, Arizona had to struggle to stay awake. She'd gone to the hospital straight from her appointment at the prosecutor's office, leaving Callie with a brief kiss and a tight hug, and then powered her way through three emergency surgeries in the aftermath of what had been one of the most emotionally trying experiences of her life.
Practicing her testimony had been terrifying, humiliating, and painful-almost as though she was being violated all over again. She'd felt the same way about being questioned by Detective Mendoza the night of the attack, but hadn't experienced anything so intensely invasive since. None of her flashbacks or nightmares had managed to unnerve her as badly as having to answer Kent Johnson's questions. Having to recall how Colin Thomas had tackled her against her car, how many times he punched her, where he touched her, and how, what he'd said-it had taken all of Arizona's willpower to get through her excruciating, deliberate account of how it felt to be raped.
Having to say the words out loud to a man had been more difficult than she'd anticipated. Kent Johnson was a nice guy, he was on her side, but it didn't make talking about what happened any easier. The worst part was that Arizona knew the actual trial would be exponentially harder. Not only would there be an entire room full of people-men and women-listening to her, but one of them would be her rapist. She had no idea how she would make it through that day.
At the sight of a pink Post-It note stuck to her dashboard, Arizona eased into a reluctant smile. That wasn't true. She knew exactly how she'd make it-with Callie.
On their way out of the prosecutor's office, Callie had asked the receptionist if she could borrow a pen and a Post-It. Still shaking from the experience of reliving her attack in front of two strangers, Arizona hadn't paid much attention to whatever Callie jotted down on the note. All she wanted was to get to the privacy of her car, where she could finally break down. After their lingering embrace and gentle kiss in the parking lot next to Arizona's car, Callie had surprised her by opening the driver's side door and affixing the note to the right of her steering wheel. Through her tears, Arizona had managed a smile when she read what Callie had written: You are Awesome!
A simple message, but one that Arizona desperately needed to believe.
Parking in her reserved spot outside their apartment, Arizona felt re-energized by her sudden need to see Callie, to sink into the safety of her embrace. She smiled at the pink slip of paper, tracing the letters with her fingertip, then turned the key to kill her car's engine. She reached for the door handle on instinct, then stopped, heart leaping into her throat.
It was still dark outside.
At five in the morning, the sky hadn't yet begun to lighten. Owen had walked her to her car at the hospital, and Arizona hadn't even thought about what she would do once she got home, or how she would feel.
This was the first time she'd been out alone, in the dark, since the rape. Until this moment, she'd always had someone accompany her home at night-mostly Callie, but also Teddy, occasionally Mark. Somehow the fact that she would have to get out of her car and walk through the darkness into her apartment building alone had completely escaped her notice. Until now.
Arizona released the door handle, glancing around nervously. The parking lot was empty, quiet. Just as the employee lot had seemed that night. Last time, Arizona hadn't realized anyone was lying in wait until the moment he grabbed her. Not seeing any threat didn't mean there wasn't one.
She was being ridiculous. She knew that. The probability that she would be attacked again was low, and frankly, she needed to conquer her fear at some point. She was a grown woman, an accomplished surgeon, and she couldn't rely on other people to make her feel safe for the rest of her life.
Digging through her purse, Arizona pulled out the canister of pepper spray she'd started carrying after the attack. She hadn't had one on the night of the rape. Things were different now. She was more cautious, better prepared. It wouldn't happen again. It couldn't.
Arizona's hand shook as she reached for the door handle. She grasped it tightly, willing herself to calm down. She could do this. It was a short walk to the door, where she would key in to the building and be safe. Nobody was around. If she needed to sprint for the building, she could. Nobody would judge her.
Except she couldn't seem to force her body to move. Arizona was frozen in place, heart racing, palms sweating. No matter what her brain told her-that she wouldn't be attacked again, that she had pepper spray this time-her body refused to break out of its paralysis and obey her mind's command to go.
It could happen again. It was possible-maybe not probable, but possible. And she couldn't go through that again. She just couldn't.
Humiliated, Arizona pulled her cell phone out of her purse and called Callie's number. She hated herself for her weakness, particularly because she knew that Callie was most likely still asleep, nestled warmly in their bed. But she also knew that Callie wouldn't make her feel bad about this, that Callie would want her to ask for help when she needed it. And God, did she need it right now.
"Arizona?"
The low timbre of Callie's voice, scratchy with sleep, triggered hot tears of relief. Sniffling, Arizona said, "Hey."
"Hey." Callie sounded more awake now, and her smile was evident in her voice. "I miss you. Are you coming home?"
Arizona bit her lip, suddenly tempted to lie and tell Callie she was just leaving the hospital, and that she'd be home soon. To hang up and gather her courage, so she wouldn't have to admit just how frightened she felt about something that used to be so easy.
But she couldn't. Reminding herself that Callie wouldn't make her feel silly, Arizona said, "I'm parked out front."
"Is everything okay?" There was a rustling noise on Callie's end of the line, probably her climbing out of bed.
Arizona closed her eyes. "I'm too scared to get out of the car."
Callie's response was immediate. "I'll be right there."
"Thank you," Arizona whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Don't you ever be sorry," Callie said. Arizona could hear her moving now, and her chest tightened with guilt over disturbing her rest. "Stay on the phone with me. I just need to put something on, okay?"
Relaxing slightly, Arizona mustered up a flirtatious tone. "Does that mean you're naked?"
"Was naked." Chuckling lightly, Callie dropped her voice an octave, as she always did when she teased Arizona. "You like that?"
"I love it when you're naked," Arizona answered honestly.
"It's even better when you're naked with me."
"Agreed." Arizona opened her eyes and took another survey of the parking lot. Still quiet. Her gaze dropped to the pink Post-It note, and Callie's neatly printed message. She didn't exactly feel awesome at the moment. "When I left the hospital, I wasn't thinking about having to walk inside alone. It just didn't occur to me. And I did try, but-"
"Sweetheart, stop." The emotion in Callie's voice stole whatever words Arizona may have had. "It's okay. Thank you for calling me. For letting me help."
Arizona nodded. Callie couldn't see her, of course, but she wasn't sure what to say. "I feel stupid."
"You're not stupid. I'd rather come get you than have you go through that alone, trust me."
A quiet sound on Callie's end of the line drew Arizona's attention to the front door. Her heart rate increased as Callie stepped out into the night dressed in a pair of silky red pajamas and slippers. Broken out of her temporary paralysis, Arizona suddenly couldn't scramble out of the car fast enough.
"Callie-" Arizona said into the phone, just as Callie noticed her across the parking lot and broke into a sexy, welcoming grin.
Callie disconnected their call and opened her arms. Feeling ridiculous, Arizona rushed into her embrace, clutching her tightly. She concentrated on her breathing, aware that she was teetering on the edge of losing her control.
"Hey," Callie whispered, holding her close. "You're okay."
Anxious to get them both inside, Arizona drew away and tugged Callie along by her hand. "Please. Let's go."
Callie wrapped her arm around Arizona's waist, forcing her to take slow, measured steps. "We're going. We aren't going to run, though. We're going to walk."
"Callie-"
Shaking her head, Callie pulled her tighter against her side. "You're safe. I promise."
Arizona took a deep breath, leaning into Callie for support. "Okay."
They took the elevator upstairs. Once inside, Callie kissed the top of her head and loosened her grip. "I'm really happy to see you."
Arizona's eyes stung as fought to hold back her tears. No more crying, she told herself, but that didn't stop burning pressure from building in her chest. For the past twelve hours she'd wanted nothing more than to get to this moment, being with Callie, and now that she was here, she felt too silly and weak and angry to enjoy it. "All I wanted was to come home and see you," Arizona whispered, hating the tremor in her voice.
"And now you're here." The elevator doors slid open and Callie guided her into the hallway. She squeezed Arizona's hand as they approached the apartment door, and safety. "I vote we go to bed and cuddle. You've got to be dead on your feet."
She appreciated how Callie was trying to ease her past this, she really did, but Arizona wasn't going to be dragged out of her dark mood so easily. All she wanted in the world was to crawl in bed with Callie and relax, but any exhaustion she'd felt earlier was long gone. The fear of being alone in the dark had left her wired. She would never be able to fall asleep now.
"How about I meet you there." Arizona followed Callie into their apartment, then locked the door behind them with trembling hands. "I think I'm going to take a quick shower first."
"Whatever you need," Callie said, sliding her arms around Arizona's waist from behind. "Do you want company?"
Pleased that Callie's presence at her back hadn't startled her, Arizona leaned against her chest and exhaled. A warm feeling of security enveloped her, but it wasn't enough to quell her need for some breathing room. When her emotions were this intense, her instinct was still to retreat. "No, that's okay. I'll only be a couple of minutes."
"I'll be waiting." Callie released her with a tender squeeze, kissing her neck before drawing away. "I've been missing you all night."
Arizona turned to face her, managing a tremulous smile. "Me, too."
Wordlessly, Callie offered her hand and Arizona accepted it. She allowed Callie to lead her to the bedroom, then murmured her thanks when Callie opened the bathroom door and stepped to the side. Arizona closed the door behind her, feeling Callie's absence instantly, but relieved for the temporary reprieve. She wanted to get her emotions under control before she returned to Callie. Between the meeting with Kent Johnson and now her freak-out in the parking lot, Arizona had shown Callie nothing but fear and weakness over the past day.
She hated it. This wasn't her, the woman she wanted to be. The one she used to be.
Arizona turned on the shower, adjusted the water to somewhere just shy of scalding, and stripped off her clothes. Climbing in, she hissed in pleasure as the spray hit her chest, thoroughly enjoying the way the heat instantly loosened her tense muscles. Almost as soon as her anxiety began to ease, Arizona realized that she wished she'd taken Callie up on her offer of company. Now that her heart rate had slowed to normal and her mind began to clear, she yearned for Callie's presence. Nothing made her feel stronger than being wrapped up in their intimacy.
After a quick wash, Arizona cut off the water, then stepped onto the bath mat and grabbed a towel from the rack. She dried off as fast as she could, no longer wanting to be alone. Not when the woman who always made her feel better was waiting in the next room.
This was still new for her, accepting that another person could give her strength. Growing up, Arizona had learned to be self-reliant to a fault. She had to be. Being a military brat, the great lesson of her childhood was that there were no constants in life, and the only person she could count on was herself. As soon as she made a friend, her father could come home with new orders, and not once did a childhood friendship survive the inevitable distance that entailed. So it was easier never to invest too much, or become too attached.
That had always been true, until Callie. Now Arizona was in uncharted territory. She had someone, finally, who was sticking with her through the hardest months of her life. Someone who made her believe she could survive anything. Leaning on Callie went against her instincts, but it also felt so much better than going it alone. So she was going to damn well do it, without second-guessing.
Arizona walked out of the bathroom naked, determined to regain her confidence. She was sick and tired of being scared. Here, with Callie, she had nothing to fear.
Callie came up on her elbows to watch Arizona approach the bed. The comforter slipped off her bare shoulders just as Arizona noticed Callie's pajamas pooled on the floor. Callie's eyes burned with love and desire, drinking her nudity in.
A twinge of self-consciousness slowed Arizona to a stop. Moments ago, all she'd wanted was to project strength. But after the day she'd had, even her best effort faltered under Callie's blatant appraisal. Just the thought of Callie lying naked beneath that blanket ignited Arizona's need, yet instead of slipping into bed beside her, she hesitated.
"I don't mean to embarrass you," Callie murmured, finally meeting Arizona's gaze. "You're just so beautiful."
Knowing Callie meant it, Arizona raised an eyebrow. "So are you."
Callie drew back the comforter and gestured for Arizona to climb in next to her. Obeying the silent request, Arizona admired Callie's bare breasts, and the gentle curve of her belly. By the time Callie drew up the covers, enclosing them in the warmth her body had generated, Arizona's remaining disquiet had given way to insistent arousal.
So when Callie wrapped her arms around Arizona and pulled her in to a full body embrace, she kissed Callie's neck and whispered, "I want to make love."
Callie's breathing picked up and a little noise rumbled in the back of her throat. But she made no attempt to initiate further contact. "Baby, you must be exhausted. Why don't we wait until you wake up, in a few hours?"
Arizona found Callie's hips with her hands, gripping them firmly. She knew Callie was wide-awake, rested, and just as interested in being close as she was. It was obvious in the tense set of her muscles, and her slightly uneven breathing pattern. Clearly Callie wasn't convinced that Arizona was up for it, which made Arizona even more determined to push ahead.
"No." Nipping at Callie's throat, Arizona slipped her leg between Callie's, instantly finding her wetness. She dragged her thigh along Callie's pussy, coating her skin in hot, slick juices. "I want you now."
Callie rolled onto her back, dragging Arizona on top of her. "I want you, too."
Powerful emotion surged through Arizona-relief and longing and equal parts determination, frustration, and love-and she captured Callie's mouth in a deep, possessive kiss. Callie dragged her blunt fingernails down the length of Arizona's back, raising goosebumps, then cupped Arizona's buttocks in both hands, drawing her closer. Arizona broke their kiss and leaned her forehead against Callie's, moaning softly.
"Tell me what you want," Callie husked into her ear. She bent her knee, then used her hands to encourage Arizona to grind against the firm length of her thigh. "Tell me what to do."
Happy to take control, but wanting to touch Callie just as badly as she needed to be touched, Arizona licked the edge of Callie's ear and whispered, "Do what I do."
Then she sat up, straddling Callie's hips. The comforter fell around her waist, and she shoved it behind her and off their bodies, wanting to see Callie's naked curves. Callie stared up at her from beneath heavy-lidded eyes, arms lying passively at her sides, seemingly waiting to see what would happen next.
Callie had the most gorgeous breasts that Arizona had ever seen. Literally. They were full and caramel-colored and topped with beautifully puckered nipples that tasted uniquely Callie-flavored, and fit perfectly in Arizona's mouth. Rocking against Callie unthinkingly, Arizona reached down and covered Callie's breasts with reverent hands. Callie sucked in a breath but didn't otherwise move. After a beat, Arizona squeezed Callie's breasts tenderly. "Do what I do," she repeated, then smiled when Callie quickly raised her hands to cup Arizona's breasts.
"Like this?" Callie caressed her gently.
Arizona nodded, rubbing her thumbs along the undersides of Callie's breasts, then up over her hard nipples. A moment later, Callie mimicked her action. Whimpering, Arizona rubbed circles around Callie's areola, delighting in the way her own nipples tightened under Callie's identical ministrations. "Perfect," Arizona said.
As her ardor rose, so did the need for more stimulation. Arizona captured the erect tips of Callie's breasts between her thumbs and forefingers, pinching lightly. Her pussy clenched as Callie followed suit, and when she twisted Callie's flesh sharply, Callie rewarded her by matching her motion without hesitation.
"Oh, fuck," Arizona ground out, releasing Callie's nipples-and her own. "Like masturbation, only so much better."
Callie laughed. "And with so many more possibilities."
"I'll say." Arizona traced the shape of Callie's breasts with her fingertips, closing her eyes as Callie did the same to her. The connection between them was palpable, and electric.
Groaning, Callie murmured, "Are you as wet as I am?"
"Let's find out," Arizona said, and turned her body around, shoving the comforter off the bed altogether. She planted her knees beside Callie's head and used her hands to coax Callie's thighs apart. This position could so easily make her feel exposed and insecure, but the sight of Callie's wet, swollen folds distracted her from dwelling on how vulnerable she really was.
Callie held her hips, stroking her thumbs over the curve of her buttocks, just brushing the edge of her labia. "The answer is yes, by the way," Callie said, tugging Arizona closer, hot breath washing over her wetness. "Please tell me you're going to let me taste this."
Smiling at the need in Callie's hoarse voice, Arizona lowered her face and planted a soft, lingering kiss on her clit. She tightened her jaw, whimpering, when Callie returned her kiss. Testing, Arizona swiped her tongue up Callie's length, then arched her back as Callie mirrored the caress.
Done talking, Arizona spread Callie open with her hand and dove in-licking, sucking, kissing Callie exactly as she wanted to be touched. She only had to wait a moment to feel her own actions repeated, and each one was, with precision. The resulting sensation was that of total control over their lovemaking, which only turned her on more. Soon she craved more than the insistent suction of Callie's lips wrapped around her clit, and she moved her hand down, circling Callie's opening with her fingertip.
After the slightest hesitation, Arizona felt Callie tease her entrance with a feather-soft touch. Arizona hadn't asked for a lot of penetration since they'd resumed their sex life, and she knew this act was the source of most of their remaining anxiety in the bedroom. Truthfully, it was mostly Callie who was nervous, so her willingness to follow Arizona's lead now meant everything. Arizona wanted Callie inside her desperately, to deepen the powerful connection they'd already created.
Laving Callie's clit with her tongue, Arizona slid a single finger inside her pussy. She tensed slightly in anticipation of Callie's entry, then groaned at the exquisite pleasure of being filled with deliberate care. Callie tightened her free hand on Arizona's buttocks, keeping her pressed to the mouth that continued to work her clit in the rhythm Arizona dictated.
Arizona set a steady pace, fucking Callie exactly how she wanted to be fucked-just one finger, deep, excruciatingly slow. It didn't take long before Callie's thighs began to tremble beneath her forearms, quaking in the way they always did right before Callie came. Aware that she was also close to release, Arizona used her free hand to pull back the hood of Callie's clit, then covered the engorged flesh with her whole mouth, sucking firmly.
Callie stiffened and cried out against Arizona's pussy, then frantically worked Arizona with her tongue and fingers, until Arizona peaked with her. Tempted to keep pleasuring Callie as she rode out her orgasm, Arizona instead took pity on her and relented when she Callie's body jerked convulsively beneath her, a sure sign that she'd had enough.
Lifting her face, Arizona was pleased when Callie kept going, fingering her as she drew out Arizona's climax. Wanton and unashamed, Arizona raised her upper body and rocked back against Callie's face, using her leverage to coax out a second, weaker orgasm, which rolled through her body as a welcome aftershock. Callie withdrew from her pussy and moved her mouth up to work at her opening, lapping up the copious fluid produced by her roaring climax.
No longer self-conscious in the slightest, Arizona lingered in their intimate embrace. She lifted off Callie slightly but didn't pull away, enjoying the warm tongue that continued to lick her clean. Lowering her face again, Arizona covered Callie's inner thighs in worshipful kisses, grinning when Callie did the same.
Needing to look into Callie's eyes, Arizona sat up, turning around then melting into the outstretched arms that were waiting for her. Callie hugged her tight, raising her head to give Arizona a kiss that mingled their flavors. Arizona murmured happily into Callie's mouth and returned her passionate hug.
Callie broke their kiss, panting. "That was incredible."
"Yes, it was." Arizona nipped at Callie's nose playfully. "My little sex puppet."
This made Callie shake with laughter. "Really?"
"Well, weren't you?" Rolling off to the side, Arizona wasted no time settling into Callie's warm embrace. "I definitely felt like I was pulling some strings just now. Incredibly sexy strings."
A very unladylike snort escaped from Callie, making Arizona giggle. "I guess you were. And quite well, might I add."
"Thanks." Beaming, Arizona allowed her eyes to slip closed. Tranquil for the first time in days, her lack of sleep suddenly hit her full force. "Whoa," she mumbled. "Tired."
"I know." Callie gathered her closer, kissing the top of her head. "It's time for you to get some rest."
"You'll be here when I wake up?"
"Definitely." Callie ran her hand over Arizona's flank, a nearly imperceptible tremor in her voice. "Nowhere I'd rather be."
The best part was that Arizona believed her. "Calliope?"
"Yeah?"
"I need you." Despite her exhaustion, Arizona's throat tightened at the confession. "All the time."
Even six months ago, she wouldn't have been able to confess the depth of her need to Callie. But things were different now.
"That's good," Callie whispered. "Because I need you, too."
"Good." Rolling into her side, Arizona sighed contentedly when Callie spooned her from behind. "As long as we've got that settled."
Callie chuckled. "That, and the fact that you are awesome."
Arizona drifted off to sleep with a smile on her face.
To be continued…