The Lull Before the Storm (Saywer/Kate)
Title: The Lull Before the Storm
Dated from: 2010
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sawyer/Kate
Spoilers: Up until 6.16
Summary: “He was starting to come around, she could see glimpses of the old him sometimes and she had hoped he would forgive himself soon enough to realize he deserved more than a lonely existence. Now, just from seeing him, she is not sure anymore.”
Author's Note: It’s been more than a year since I last wrote Skate and I was sure that I wouldn’t write them again until the series finale. However, a small scene in this past episode made me do it! It’s just a ficlet, but it had to be written. Let me just say, for the record, that English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes you find
To Adara, Elane, Paulinha and my “mentor” Polly: because they never lost hope (and neither did I, thanks to them)
The Lull Before the Storm
Jack is careful when stitching her, but she can barely feel the whole process. Still hurts to think about Jin and Sun, who had fought so hard to be together, only to end up dead in that mess. She talks about killing Locke - or whoever he is - with no fear or hesitation, because she hates what he’s done to all of them. And when her eyes wander and she sees him sitting with Hurley on the beach, she’s even angrier at what’s happening to all of them.
From where she’s sitting she can see the pain again, raw in his eyes and radiating from his body, and she hates it, with all she has. He was starting to come around, she could see glimpses of the old him sometimes and she had hoped he would forgive himself soon enough to realize he deserved more than a lonely existence. Now, just from seeing him, she is not sure anymore.
She cries and for a while there she’s happy about being shot and needing stitches, because she doesn’t need to justify her tears right now. Because to explain them would mean saying out loud, for the first time, that she loves him and is scared for all the guilt and anger she can see in him. And it wouldn’t be fair for him not to hear her say the words for the first time… Let them all believe she’s crying from the physical pain, it’s easier that way…
When Jack is done, he asks her to rest for a while, just a while, so she can be stronger to do whatever they’re doing next and she doesn’t argue. Her arm is throbbing and uncomfortable and she can’t remember when was the last time she slept, so she just lies there, thinking about what will come next. But then something washes ashore and she sees him standing up and her heart aches for him, again. He stands alone, all about his stance worrying her, so she goes to him, without thinking twice.
She knows what he’s thinking, she knows what he’s feeling and she knows him well enough to know that nothing she would say would make it better. So she walks to him, slowly because now her arm is really hurting and does the only thing she can think of: she holds his hand. It’s so simple and maybe so small, but they’ve never done something like that and she knows it’ll mean something to him. She can feel him tensing, only for a second, and then he finally relaxes and holds her hand back, so she lays her head on his shoulder, looking at the same ocean and thinking about the same thing. They don’t talk, they don’t even look at each other, but there’s no need, not today.
***
He sees pieces of something washing ashore and can’t help getting up, false hopes all over the place. Sun and Jin. Dead. A little girl somewhere in Korea is orphan and didn’t even have the chance to meet her father. Once again, it all happened because of him. There’s this rush of feelings coming back to him, feelings he once thought he would never stop having, but that had started to fade the past days and he doesn’t know how to deal with them. So he just stands there, looking at the ocean and thinking about the mess he’s made.
He’s so full of anger and guilt, that he doesn’t see her coming, not until he feels her small hand in his. He’s surprised and a little shocked and for a moment there, he doesn’t know how to act. But it just takes a second for him to realize what she’s trying to do. She gets it, so easily that he didn’t even have to look at her. When he relaxes, she lays her head on his shoulder, then, and he’s grateful for her being there. They don’t need to talk, they don’t need to look at each other.
Whatever happens now, whatever it takes. They know now. And knowing it’s enough for them…
“I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing
My mind was closing, now I'm believing”
(I’d Come For You - Nickelback)
THE END