Weird warnings question

[therumjournals]

Would you guys warn for a sex act while one person is asleep? If so, is there some kind of word or phrase you could use besides "sex act while one person is asleep"? I feel like that's a bit spoiler-y. I don't want to use "dub-con" for various reasons, even though I know it could technically apply. But the person would definitely be consenting

Comments

[brighteyed_jill]

Yes, it's totally something to which people are sensitive, and I'd say worth a warning. Many people do consider it dub-con, but if you're hesitant to put that on there, an alternative would be good. There's an accepted kink term for this situation, right people? Sleepy sex? I think?

[therumjournals]

sleepy sex sounds like two people having sex while sleepy though. which, while hot, doesn't exactly fit the situation ;-) i guess there isn't really a term for it?

[brighteyed_jill]

I agree it's not the most evocative term, but I think it is the most common warning for the act you're talking about: the square on kink bingo is called sleepy/unconscious.

[the_deep_magic]

I've seen warnings for it before, but I've also seen it happen in fics without warning. (Helpful, I know.) Is this a first time thing or are the characters already in a relationship? If they're in a well-established relationship where consent is pretty clear, I might not bother warning for it. But if you do decide to add a warning -- it's not terribly elegant, but maybe "consenting sleepy sex"?

[therumjournals]

they're already in a relationship...i think to be on the safe side i should probably warn for it though...i'll probably just end up saying "sex act while one partner is asleep"...after all that ;-)

[michelel72]

Yes, absolutely, I would. As far as I can tell, you would warn for "somnophilia"; put it under a spoiler bar if you're worried about that. If the character absolutely would consent (or has consented), I wouldn't also add "dub-con" ... but I would if that's not absolutely the case.

[medea_fic]

This is the approach I would take, but I'd probably spell it out a bit more just in case ("one partner asleep" maybe?), even though it's spoilery.

[therumjournals]

i would agree that that makes it sound like more of a kink...which doesn't really fit the situation (but very good to know for future reference, so thanks!). i'll probably just end up saying "sex act while one person is asleep" ;-)

[janice_lester]

I would warn for "sleepy sex" and then put further details under a spoiler bar to the effect that one partner is initially asleep but consent can be assumed from context and the nature of the relationship. Or similar. Put just enough in your content advisory to clue folks in as to whether or not they need to look at what's in the spoiler bar. You're right, "dub-con" is likely to scare off people who might not actually be bothered by the story, I get that. I'm in favour of over- rather than under-warning, and to me that means more specific information, not rounding up to the nearest applicable warning. Spoiler bars FTW! :-)

[therumjournals]

i'll probably just end up writing it out...i guess it's not that much of a spoiler...and i definitely think i should warn for it, so i will.

[centraslayer]

I have no idea what I would call this, but I am now going to assume that all of your future fics have sleep sex in them.

[therumjournals]

AND THEY ALL WILL. ;)

[centraslayer]

I AM HOLDING YOU TO THIS

[therumjournals]

crap...*starts writing*