King of Fighters :: K' and I
King of Fighters :: K' and I
Review by: Rebel Toy
SCORE
IN-CHARACTER: 1/5 (Iori was okay.)
PLOT: 0/5
WRITING: 2/5
MEN WEEPING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS: 5/5
Well, as you can see from the scores, I didn't think much of this one. At this point I'll say that the author is from France; I assume she's not a native english speaker, so I won't say anything about the writing, which wasn't that bad at all for someone who isn't a native English speaker. So, what do I think of this fic?
Well, honestly, if you are a King of Fighters fan, and you have a strong constitution, you almost owe it to yourself to read this. I've never read anything that was quite this ridiculously bad. I laughed out loud many times, even though the fic is (blessedly) short, and it's supposed to be a romantic drama. If you don't find horrible plotting and painful characterization of Benimaru, K', and Kyo to be funny, then perhaps it'd be best if you didn't read it, though.
The story, which is written in first person from Benimaru's perspective, throws us right into the action: Benimaru is running away from Iori through a giant forest. No mention of how they got there, why they are both there, or where the forest is. We soon find out that Iori wants Beni so he can hold Benimaru hostage and force Kyo to fight him. Benimaru apparently thinks that a fight between Kyo and Iori would lead to Kyo's death. One might wonder why, as NESTS obviously decided that Kyo was the most powerful and sexy man in the world, and Kyo and Iori have fought many, many times, without Kyo being killed.
But never mind that! It's just the reason Iori's chasing Beni! As we can guess from the title, the real substance of the plot is that, while Benimaru is dashing through this random giant forest, he bumps into K', who just happened to be hanging around there.
When K' finds out Beni's running to protect Kyo, he asks if Beni is in love with Kyo. Beni replies that they're just friends; then K' confesses his love.
.... Uh... Yeah.
They have a kiss and so forth and then the evil Iori catches up to them! He grabs Benimaru, the ultra-uke, rips his shirt off, and starts molesting him, while K' looks on in annoyance. Benimaru starts crying and saying stuff to the effect of "Oh, please don't molest me, you huge, scary man! I'm saving myself for the one I love!" At this point I just couldn't stop laughing.
But wait, it gets better! After their daring escape, Beni accuses K' of also planning to kidnap him to get at Kyo! Then he runs away crying. Luckily, this plot point works because of the fact that K' has apparently suddenly lost his voice and can't deny it.
Then what I consider to be the best line in the fic appears:
"I was alone now and so sad. I was lying, crying, on the ground. I heard someone calling for me but I couldn't move. I had fallen earlier and I knew my ankle was broken as well as my heart."
Hahaha! Is that not the funniest thing you've ever read in your entire life?! He's fallen and he can't get up!
He tripped in the woods, broke his ankle, and can't even move because of the heavy weight of sadness on him! All he can do is lie there crying (and presumably shirtless!). Just picture this situation, and I'm sure you'll be rolling on the floor helpless with giggles, just like me.
So, after this delightful scene, Kyo shows up! How'd he know where Benimaru was in the forest? It doesn't matter! Beni tells Kyo he wants to die... then he follows through by whipping a knife out of his pocket and slitting his own throat! What the fuck?!
K' suddenly comes running out of the woods, sobs into Maxima's arms (when the hell did HE show up? Was this fic set at the KoF Camping Trip or something?) and then takes Beni's knife away. He proclaims that if Benimaru dies, he wants to die too.
Benimaru, who is presumably hallucinating, due to loss of blood, that he is at a Renaissance Festival, replies, "Forgive me, my love."
... Yes, you read all of that correctly. The comedy is high at this point.
Here is a writing hint: when emotional stuff is going on in your story, write with emotion! Don't write everything in a factual and dry way, or you may cause unintentional hilarity; for example, these lines:
"K' screamed before he stabbed himself with my knife. Kyo and Maxima were deeply shocked."
I mean... of COURSE they were deeply shocked! Instead of just saying so, you should SHOW the reader that they are deeply shocked.
After this, Benimaru wakes up in the hospital to see Kyo crying in Saisyu's arms (raise your hand, anyone who can see THAT happening). He finds that K' is all better now too. Apparently slitting your own throat and stabbing yourself aren't very serious injuries.
But Beni has more serious things to worry about than a mere gaping throat wound -- his abusive daddy! :D This is a new development. Benimaru tells Kyo his worries about telling his abusive father that he's in love with another man; the author asserts that Kyo understands because he had to tell his own father that he was in love with King.
ME: ... He's WHAT?
AUTHOR: He's in love with King.
ME: What does that have to do with Beni telling his dad he's gay? And by the way... what the hell?! KING?!
In the thrilling climax, Beni tells his father the truth; his father responds by yelling, "YOU ARE NOT A GIRL, BENIMARU!" and then proceeds to slap the crying, long-haired Beni in the face several times. When Beni tries to run off crying, his father grabs his wrist and slaps him some more until Kyo steps in and stops it. You certainly wouldn't know he's not a girl from the way he acts and gets treated.
In the end K' rescues Beni from his abusive family situation and they have a happy ending; now correct me if I'm wrong, but "rescue from abusive parent/guardian figure" is one of the biggest romance novel cliches ever, isn't it?
In summary, this fic is worth reading just to laugh at; it might be really bad if it were longer, but since it's very short, it's just long enough to entertain and not so long that it starts to hurt like a large alligator jammed in the kidney.
This author needs to play the games and get some conception of who the characters are before she attempts to write another KoF fic, in my opinion. Kyo, Benimaru, and K' are not the kind of guys who cry. Benimaru would fight Iori to the death before he let himself be kidnapped to threaten Kyo with, but if Iori started molesting him, I find it very hard to imagine that Benimaru would mind. K' is not the kind of guy who cries in public and swears his eternal love where people can hear him.
Iori's portrayal as a sex-crazed, Kyo-obsessed psycho was pretty decent, though.. but I think that was just because the author cast him as the villain. I did find myself wondering where the hell he'd gone; Kyo, K', and even Maxima manage to easily find Benimaru in the woods, but Iori's still wandering around out there and can't find any of them? Couldn't he hear the screaming and crying? Jesus. And he never reappears; I hate loose plot threads like that. Hello, people, continuity is an important thing. Damn. There oughtta be a law.