Comments | ficadron: Round 2 - Cheating - Team B

mamalaz in ficadron

Round 2 - Cheating - Team B - "Cheating"

Dec 01, 2009 20:11

Title: Cheating
Author: a_shadow_there
Team: Draco
Prompt: Cheating
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Explicit language, sex, resisting, smoking, possible implied infidelity.
Length: 1,015 words

Disclaimer: All sexual activity portrayed in this fic is between two consenting adults who are at least 18 years of age. I do not own any of the characters.

( Cheating )

submission, round 2: cheating

Comments 9

wwmrsweasleydo December 1 2009, 23:53:53 UTC

Now this is exactly why this is my OTP!

snarry_fan7 December 2 2009, 02:00:21 UTC

Excellent work. I like how you've characterized Ron and Draco in this one. Well done!~Sophia

stuckinsea December 2 2009, 04:54:41 UTC

Very nice. I think you did a great job with their characterizations and that the push and pull of their relationship is something I see happening. Good job.

thrihyrne December 3 2009, 08:34:39 UTC

This snapshot vignette has ensnared me. You've done well with brevity here; I think what I love most (beyond your phrasing and wordcraft; I'll quote my faves in a minute) is how Draco is so self-assured in the absolute untruth of Ron's insistence that they can't continue on. What he should say, and doesn't, is "I shouldn't". Draco always hears "we" and hears Ron's complicit knowledge that, actually, they will. It's subtle, something not often found in R/D since they are by nature inflammatory.

Now, my favorite phrases with such gorgeous and decadent imagery:
It was as though the mere exertion of speaking just at that moment required some kind of rallying effort:

The words were worn; frail and crumbling as they were uttered.

groped muscle and clung to bone.

Well done for a subtle Draco. Very nicely conceived and word-crafted.

hull1984 December 3 2009, 09:43:16 UTC

This was perfect.

Well done, lovely snapshot of their relationship.