Come Around (Prologue)
Title: Come Around (Prologue/?)
Author: shangri__la
Rating: NC-17 for language, sex, and some very mild violence
Word Count: 3811 in this chapter
Category: AU, after “The Bitch is Back”
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Keith, Parker, Dick, Logan/Veronica, slight Veronica/Piz, Logan/OFC, slight Veronica/OMC, some merry Neptune residents
Spoilers: Up to 3.20 “The Bitch is Back.”
Disclaimer: The characters were created by Rob Thomas and remain the property of Thomas, the CW, and Warner Bros. Television. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Author’s Notes: 1. This came about after thinking about how season four of VM could've been done without getting rid of the entire cast and working with the FBI thing. This is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it.
2. Special thanks to the betas of this fic, afrocurl and solflower22, who are so very patient with me while I struggle with this monster (currently 100 pages and counting!). Any and all mistakes after their betas are my own.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to and for Stephanie, who "won" me and my mad skillz in Sweet Charity. She wanted some VM fic, and decided that this will do. Her charity is going to give me the determination to finish the damn thing, so THANK YOU.
Summary: A woman travels the world over in search of what she needs and returns home to find it.
A man woman travels the world over in search of what he she needs and returns home to find it.
- George Moore (as revised by Veronica Mars)
It goes a little something like this.
Wednesday, August 6th, 2014, 12pm: Veronica Mars is officially fired from the FBI for insubordination and reckless behavior. She is immediately asked for her badge, gun, and identification card. Her boss seems regretful, but firm in his decision. “You’re just not cut out for this kind of discipline, Mars...”
1:30pm: She is allowed to pack her belongings and escorted off the property by Dan, the friendly but professional security guard.
2:25pm: She returns to her fully furnished condo, shaken and stirred.
Veronica held it together from headquarters to her car through the ride back home. Yet, she found herself blinking back tears as soon as she turned on the lights of her kitchen, and she angrily wiped at her eyes. No, she had never been fired from a job- any job- before. Especially not a job she had fought and worked towards, a job she had wanted for many, many years. At twenty-six years old, her career was over, long before it even started.
Her eyes fell on Ace, the black and white Jack Russell terrier her ex-boyfriend had bought her nearly a year ago, after Backup had passed away. The dog happily ran in her direction, and she let out a weary sigh, dropping to her knees and rubbing the dog's head weakly. “Good boy,” she whispered, staring at the floor as her eyes blurred once more.
It had been lonely in Washington, D.C. since the impulsive move all those years ago. The “sex tape” between Piz and herself had been released, and the humiliation that followed was brutal, it even rivaled that year of hell after Lilly died. Logan quietly snapped and had his scarily but not all too surprising violent breakdown, unraveling and rebuilding before her very eyes and it had disappointed and excited her all the same. That behavior, along with the stress of it all happened way too fast, and Veronica couldn’t handle it. Then, the FBI internship surprisingly, shockingly, went through, and she freaked out, getting the hell out of Neptune before anything else could happen.
It took her five long years to figure out that what she did was “freak out.”
Social status in ruins, personal relationships crumbling, sanity dwindling, paranoia and guilt overwhelming, and the fear and confusion overpowering it all.
Veronica knew she had burned many, many bridges when she took off without as much as a goodbye to anyone besides her father. She wasn’t thinking and all she wanted was to get the hell out of that forsaken town. She had just up and left, taking only Backup, her clothes, laptop, and detective equipment.
Her father was convinced that she was suffering an emotional breakdown. There was no crying or emotion on her end, yet he tried to get her to sit still before she “became catatonic.” It was typical of him- here he was facing a criminal charge and an election loss, and he was worried about her. He had even begged her to stay, but she didn’t listen, kissing him one last time before taking off.
Maybe she shouldn’t have left him alone to deal with the aftermath.
She had missed her father a lot, and called him at least four times a week. He was always loving if a bit distant, but she had been expecting it. He was probably more hurt by her dismissal than he had let on. He was defeated by Vinnie, and placed on five years of probation for evidence tampering, but he didn’t appear to mind going back to private investigation.
Veronica was happy that she missed Harmony Chase moving into their apartment six months after her departure. Her father didn’t bother to ask for her thoughts on the matter, and she didn’t blame him. After all, she hadn’t allowed him an opinion on her leaving California.
Her father had also tried to keep her priorities in check. He called her an hour into her great escape, requesting that she call Wallace, so he wouldn’t worry. She ignored the request, not wanting to talk to anyone but her father.
Especially not Logan. However, Logan didn’t matter, since her father said Logan had disappeared the last night they had seen each other. He actually skipped town before she did. Vanished into thin air.
Logan. She hadn't thought about Logan in a long while. She had told him to stay out of her life; she needed to get over what he did, yet she had been tempted to check up on him in the beginning. She never did, though, afraid of what she might find out. She didn’t want to discover that he had been taken out by the mob or dead from an overdose or whatever else. But she still cared. She definitely cared.
She told her father to look out for Logan, refused to elaborate on why, and she had hoped he did. She never got any calls in the middle of the night, so that was a good thing. She went back to Neptune, once. Didn’t talk to her father or anyone, really, but after that week, she knew she had nothing to worry about. Everyone would be fine, especially Logan.
The night of Logan’s fight with Gorya still haunted her, and she didn’t want to relive it in any way, shape, or form. She didn’t want to remember the blood on Logan’s shirt and knuckles or the way he smiled at her or the elaborate heat boiling in her stomach and down her body at the sight of that smile.
And then, he smiled at the idea of death.
She had been too scared and too pissed off to call him when she drove out of Neptune for good.
Even Wallace was a distant memory now; she hadn't talked to him in over a year. He had refused her calls two months after she ran, just because he was still angry with her. He said he had been scared for her, and she didn’t care. Even as the guilt ebbed and flowed within her, she couldn’t get the emotion out, to let him know she was truly sorry. Needless to say, he didn’t believe her when she apologized, and their already fragile relationship was never the same.
Last she heard, he was working at some engineering company in Florida.
She had convinced herself that leaving California for bigger and better things was the best thing she could do, and the fact that Piz had followed was an added bonus. Even if she had to give up everything in search of “bigger and better,” she was determined to do so, because she deserved better. Even Piz said she deserved better than Neptune, and she had believed him.
Veronica even let herself believe for almost a year that she was in love with Piz. He took care of her, loved her, and was there during the most trying time of her life. He was nice, safe and reliable, so she was grateful to have him.
He wasn't safe and reliable for long. In fact, he wasn’t so nice, either.
As luck would have it, Stosh Piznarski wasn't built to handle the hectic, unpredictable life of living with an FBI intern/agent. He hadn’t been built for anything, really. He hadn’t defended her honor after the sex tape, and grew more insecure after that afternoon in the cafeteria. He grew distant. She dove deeper into her training and her work, and he said nothing, allowing her to do what she had to, if it made her happy. All she wanted was for him to be up front with her, and he wasn’t.
So, she got colder.
Piz had tried to keep himself busy, just so he wouldn’t have to deal with an increasingly moody and secretive Veronica, and she supposed that was her fault for taking off the mask and getting comfortable too soon into their relationship when she should’ve been building up more walls. He wasn’t ready to see the real her. He was never ready.
She didn’t know why she thought he was different, why he was safe.
Piz had gotten a job at a local radio station that barely paid for their groceries. It was a small station that paid close to nothing and it was another twist of the knife. The slow start of Piz’s own career and the overwhelming loneliness had shook him, and he had quickly grown passive-aggressively bitter with all the time and effort Veronica was putting into her job. He was lucky she came home for dinner four times a week.
In exasperation, she recommended that he start up another band to busy himself, so he did. A year later, she found out about his other girlfriend.
The breakup was bad, but Veronica didn’t expect Piz to come out with a laundry list of her faults. He had held back all those years, and finally, the truth was revealed. He even brought up things that had happened back in Neptune. In retaliation, she went for the jugular by reminding him of his inadequacy as a boyfriend, a lover, and as a professional musician-slash-DJ, and in hindsight, it was a bad move. She knew he felt guilty for what he had done, but, dammit, she couldn’t allow herself to be talked to like that. His truth still hurt, though, and he still loved his girlfriend that wasn’t her, and he wouldn’t allow Veronica to belittle him any longer. It was over.
She kicked him out, and he sent her roses a week later with a final note of apology. She threw the flowers in the trash.
She spent a year alone, barring a couple of flings here and there. Then came Garrison Lloyd, a linguist for the FBI. He was a good one, three years of loyalty and truth. Nice guy, decent lover, good conversation. He had never noticed her frigidity- he had been too preoccupied with his own job. Garrison was sweet, but professional, and he was trustworthy and gave her space when she needed it.
They were a match made in heaven. He had even been there when Backup died, and helped her through her grief, which was stronger than she had ever thought possible.
A year ago, Garrison decided to go home to be with his ailing mother. Home was St. Louis, Missouri. Veronica refused to relocate with him, even after he had begged, so Ace was a goodbye present. She refused to cry over Garrison’s departure, instead opting to hunt down a child molester in Britain.
Failure after failure. She had hoped this job would be the one bright spot in her life, but it just wasn't to be. That was life, apparently. She was never going to be given a good, clean break.
Veronica stood up hastily when she realized she was crying again, and she wiped at her eyes roughly. Crying was a weakness. She just needed to get out of there before she officially lost her mind.
“Veronica?”
A sharp gasp escaped Veronica as she spun around, coming face to face with Piz, in his typical jeans and striped button-down, the annoying rock tee peeking out from underneath. His hair was shorter, there were some laugh lines in the corners of his eyes, but other than that, he looked the same.
She was surprised by the sharp ache that nearly sliced through her chest at the sight of him. The wound was still fresh, the wound was still open. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
Veronica inhaled sharply, pushing her shoulders back in a vain attempt at looking strong. “Piz.”
He gave her a small smile, staying in the doorway. “Hey. You had the door open...” he trailed off, his eyes falling on her face. “Why are you crying?”
She shook her head, turning away from him and clearing her throat. “I-I just had a rough day-”
“It’s only two o’clock,” he said with a faintly confused chuckle. “What’s-”
“I'm fine,” she said sharply. "What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?” he asked, ignoring her previous question. She didn't respond and he took that as a yes, stepping inside. “I'm visiting. The radio station's doing a promotional gig here, so I'm the head DJ,” he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You look good, Veronica.”
Veronica stared at him hard, crossing her arms over her chest. “So do you,” she replied robotically.
She knew he was lying. Her grey business suit did nothing for her figure, and her hair was a mess. She imagined her makeup was, as well. She was probably pale and dead-looking. Her mouth had the stale taste of toothpaste, and she wished she had picked up her morning coffee.
Piz nodded, glancing around the apartment. “The place looks good. Cleaner than I remember,” his eyes fell on Ace, a grin on his face as he bent over, holding his hands out for the dog. “He’s cute. Come here, boy.”
“His name’s Ace.” Veronica’s jaw clenched as she watched Ace approach Piz, sniffing his fingers before licking the backs of his hands. She hated Piz then for getting her dog’s affection so quickly. It had taken her a week just to get the puppy to stop wiggling out of her grasp.
“Ace! Cool name,” Piz rubbed the top of Ace’s head warmly before straightening up. He licked his lips slowly, his eyes on Veronica once more. “Where’s Backup?”
Backup had died in her arms on the floor of her apartment, his eyes slowly closing until his body was limp. He had licked her hand one last time, and she had kissed him and cried into his fur until she had fallen asleep. She allowed the pain to pass before responding. “He died,” she said stiffly. “A year ago.”
He looked downright grief-stricken for a moment, shaking his head. He waited, watching Veronica’s face carefully, as if anticipating any semblance of grief in her eyes, a sob from her throat. It never came, her face was still blank. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “He was a good dog.”
The tears began to form in her eyes again, the reminder of her best friend gone was too much, and she immediately glanced at the floor, blinking rapidly. After a moment, she looked up at him, and the mask was back on. “He was.”
Piz was silent for a long moment, his mouth twitching nervously. She stared at him blankly, and he finally laughed, glancing at her. “You know, Ace kinda reminds me of this time I was at a Battle of the Bands and Am said-”
Am. The nickname was enough to have her seething, all these years later.
“How is the girlfriend?” Veronica asked bitterly. “Amber, was it?” she forced a smile on her face. “Cute, perky redhead with a nice rack? Amber?”
Piz didn't bite, even though his posture had stiffened. “Amberly’s fine. She’s-” his mouth clamped shut, and the flinch wasn’t lost on Veronica.
The pause from Piz was long and excruciating, and Veronica was startled by the dread suddenly filling her. “What? She’s what?”
“She’s five months along,” he said quietly. “It's a boy.”
Veronica exhaled sharply, suddenly feeling dizzy. “Good for you. Congrats,” she said quickly, turning on her heels and rushing for her bedroom. Now, she really needed to get the hell out of there. She had to go. She had to leave. She had to run. Run, run, run.
Piz followed down the hallway, his eyes widening in alarm as Veronica yanked her suitcase out from underneath the bed, throwing it on the mattress. “Veronica. Hold on-”
“Do you have a name picked out yet?” she asked hastily, moving to her closet. The tremble in her voice made her cringe, and she turned away from him, looking through her clothes.
“Brendan.”
She laughed as she pulling clothes off hangers, not knowing what else to do. “Good. Good for you. That’s a nice name. Brendan. Brendan Piznarski. It’s a super name.”
There was regret in Piz's eyes now as he watched her move about, flinging the pile of clothes in her arms onto the mattress. “Don’t be like this, Veronica,” he said, his voice even. “Please.”
Veronica smirked, folding clothes quickly before throwing them in the suitcase. All of her stupid power suits were left behind. Only casual clothes, and some formal wear. All of her shoes. Underwear. Socks. Jewelry. It all had to fit in her car. “Come on, Piz- how did you expect me to react? You...you're having a baby with the girl you cheated on me with.”
He let out a shaky breath. “We were over long before Amberly came around, and you know it, Veronica.”
She straightened up, throwing a pair of socks into her suitcase. “And yet, it took me completely by surprise!” she exclaimed with a loud laugh. “Imagine that!”
Piz looked genuinely annoyed as he stared into her eyes, and his jaw clenched. “It took you by surprise because you were so self-involved-”
“Oh, so it's my fault, now?” she chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m not self-involved,” she muttered, more to herself than to him.
He placed his hands on his hips, staring at her hard. “You didn’t even congratulate me when I got a promotion.”
Her eyes narrowed in faint confusion. “You never got a promotion.”
“Yeah, I did. A big one.”
“No.”
“You see?” he exclaimed, jabbing a finger at her. “You don’t even-”
She shook her head, turning away from him. “Listen, I had a lot of stuff on my mind, then. Stuff you wouldn’t understand but that still doesn’t mean you could cheat-”
“You...you’re just so cold and secretive- what did you think was going to happen, huh?”
Veronica’s fists clenched as she glared at Piz, feeling the anger boiling inside her. “That didn’t give you the right to cheat on me, Piz! You cheated on me and then acted like it was an accident! You had the nerve to get angry because I was angry! Now, now...FIVE years later, you swing on by with the wonderful news about your perfect girlfriend and your perfect baby and you’re expecting me not to get upset?”
“That wasn’t what I came here for!”
“What, then? To say hey?” she rolled her eyes, pulling a makeup bag from her dresser and throwing in all of her jewelry and makeup. “How nice of you.”
Piz pointed at her, his face red and his eyes flashing with a rare anger. “There you go again, belittling me. It’s all you do, Veronica. You think you’re so superior-”
“I do not!”
“You DO!” he exclaimed. “All you do is judge and my God, I felt like I was nothing after a year with you! Don’t you know what you do to people’s self esteem? You kill everything, Veronica- and you haven’t changed, not one bit,” he inhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Haven’t you noticed how alone you are? What’s wrong with you?”
Veronica laughed bitterly, ignoring his question. “I thought you were different, you know. I thought you were-”
He laughed. “What- not like Logan? I thought you liked that in a guy,” he raised his eyebrows as shock flashed in her eyes for only a moment. “Like we both weren't thinking it, Veronica,” he said softly.
“I- I can’t believe you’re still holding on to that...” Veronica trailed off, forcing a tight smile. “No, you’re nothing like Logan, Piz. He never cheated on me. Ever.”
Piz nodded, licking his lips slowly. “I apologized, Veronica. I said I was sorry, over and over. I apologized until you got sick of it, and then I apologized for apologizing so much. I didn't want it to end like that, and I was sick with the guilt of it, okay? It was like a bad movie, and I'm sorry, but it's been years. Why haven't you gotten over it?”
She rolled her eyes, turning back to her suitcase. “I’m so over it. Is Amberly as big as a house, yet?”
“She looks beautiful.”
Veronica laughed bitterly, starting to throw socks into her bag. She didn't even know why she was so damn angry- Piz was right, it had been years since the incident happened. He had moved on, was happy, and she didn’t want kids, anyway. It had all worked out for the best. Even if that should’ve been her life, it had all worked out for the best.
Still, it didn’t stop her from saying- “Aw, you’re just the best boyfriend ever! Saying exactly what she needs to hear...”
That rare, rare anger was in his eyes, and he scowled at her. “Stop it.”
“Why? Am I lying? Don’t you love your little groupie-”
“I loved you!” Piz said loudly, and he blinked fast as the words stumbled out of his mouth, clumsy and rushed. “I loved you and I wanted to be with you and you didn’t care! You expected me to sit around while you did your thing, and it was a mistake, Veronica! I moved away from everyone and everything for you and it was a mistake!”
“You didn’t HAVE to come with me!”
“But I wanted to!” he shot back harshly. “I wanted to because I loved you but you didn’t even say thank you. You just got more distant and cold and you acted like I was a burden...it fucking hurt, Veronica. You made me feel like nothing!”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you’re such a martyr...”
“Veronica, it was, like, five years ago. Okay? Get over it. Grow up,” he snapped. “I came over here for a reason, not to fight with you over stupid crap-”
Veronica nodded quickly, slamming her suitcase shut. She zipped it up violently as the tears welled in her eyes again. She faced Piz fully, sticking her jaw out defiantly. “You know what? You’re absolutely right. Thank you, Piz, for showing me what a horrible human being I am.”
Piz swallowed hard, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Veronica, I didn’t come here for this. I’m so-”
“Don’t,” she snapped, jerking the suitcase off her mattress and hauling it past Piz. The bag hit her thigh hard as she made her way down the hallway. He turned, starting to follow her, and she walked faster, Ace right behind her.
It was bullshit. It was all bullshit, and she needed to get away. She knew where she was going before she even reached the door.
“Where are you going?” Piz called after her.
“I’m going home,” Veronica muttered, not caring if he heard her or not.
Friday, August 8, 2014, 6:25am: Veronica Mars heads back to Neptune, California after a seven-year absence.
Author: shangri__la
Rating: NC-17 for language, sex, and some very mild violence
Word Count: 3811 in this chapter
Category: AU, after “The Bitch is Back”
Characters/Pairings: Veronica, Logan, Keith, Parker, Dick, Logan/Veronica, slight Veronica/Piz, Logan/OFC, slight Veronica/OMC, some merry Neptune residents
Spoilers: Up to 3.20 “The Bitch is Back.”
Disclaimer: The characters were created by Rob Thomas and remain the property of Thomas, the CW, and Warner Bros. Television. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Author’s Notes: 1. This came about after thinking about how season four of VM could've been done without getting rid of the entire cast and working with the FBI thing. This is what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it.
2. Special thanks to the betas of this fic, afrocurl and solflower22, who are so very patient with me while I struggle with this monster (currently 100 pages and counting!). Any and all mistakes after their betas are my own.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to and for Stephanie, who "won" me and my mad skillz in Sweet Charity. She wanted some VM fic, and decided that this will do. Her charity is going to give me the determination to finish the damn thing, so THANK YOU.
Summary: A woman travels the world over in search of what she needs and returns home to find it.
A man woman travels the world over in search of what he she needs and returns home to find it.
- George Moore (as revised by Veronica Mars)
It goes a little something like this.
Wednesday, August 6th, 2014, 12pm: Veronica Mars is officially fired from the FBI for insubordination and reckless behavior. She is immediately asked for her badge, gun, and identification card. Her boss seems regretful, but firm in his decision. “You’re just not cut out for this kind of discipline, Mars...”
1:30pm: She is allowed to pack her belongings and escorted off the property by Dan, the friendly but professional security guard.
2:25pm: She returns to her fully furnished condo, shaken and stirred.
Veronica held it together from headquarters to her car through the ride back home. Yet, she found herself blinking back tears as soon as she turned on the lights of her kitchen, and she angrily wiped at her eyes. No, she had never been fired from a job- any job- before. Especially not a job she had fought and worked towards, a job she had wanted for many, many years. At twenty-six years old, her career was over, long before it even started.
Her eyes fell on Ace, the black and white Jack Russell terrier her ex-boyfriend had bought her nearly a year ago, after Backup had passed away. The dog happily ran in her direction, and she let out a weary sigh, dropping to her knees and rubbing the dog's head weakly. “Good boy,” she whispered, staring at the floor as her eyes blurred once more.
It had been lonely in Washington, D.C. since the impulsive move all those years ago. The “sex tape” between Piz and herself had been released, and the humiliation that followed was brutal, it even rivaled that year of hell after Lilly died. Logan quietly snapped and had his scarily but not all too surprising violent breakdown, unraveling and rebuilding before her very eyes and it had disappointed and excited her all the same. That behavior, along with the stress of it all happened way too fast, and Veronica couldn’t handle it. Then, the FBI internship surprisingly, shockingly, went through, and she freaked out, getting the hell out of Neptune before anything else could happen.
It took her five long years to figure out that what she did was “freak out.”
Social status in ruins, personal relationships crumbling, sanity dwindling, paranoia and guilt overwhelming, and the fear and confusion overpowering it all.
Veronica knew she had burned many, many bridges when she took off without as much as a goodbye to anyone besides her father. She wasn’t thinking and all she wanted was to get the hell out of that forsaken town. She had just up and left, taking only Backup, her clothes, laptop, and detective equipment.
Her father was convinced that she was suffering an emotional breakdown. There was no crying or emotion on her end, yet he tried to get her to sit still before she “became catatonic.” It was typical of him- here he was facing a criminal charge and an election loss, and he was worried about her. He had even begged her to stay, but she didn’t listen, kissing him one last time before taking off.
Maybe she shouldn’t have left him alone to deal with the aftermath.
She had missed her father a lot, and called him at least four times a week. He was always loving if a bit distant, but she had been expecting it. He was probably more hurt by her dismissal than he had let on. He was defeated by Vinnie, and placed on five years of probation for evidence tampering, but he didn’t appear to mind going back to private investigation.
Veronica was happy that she missed Harmony Chase moving into their apartment six months after her departure. Her father didn’t bother to ask for her thoughts on the matter, and she didn’t blame him. After all, she hadn’t allowed him an opinion on her leaving California.
Her father had also tried to keep her priorities in check. He called her an hour into her great escape, requesting that she call Wallace, so he wouldn’t worry. She ignored the request, not wanting to talk to anyone but her father.
Especially not Logan. However, Logan didn’t matter, since her father said Logan had disappeared the last night they had seen each other. He actually skipped town before she did. Vanished into thin air.
Logan. She hadn't thought about Logan in a long while. She had told him to stay out of her life; she needed to get over what he did, yet she had been tempted to check up on him in the beginning. She never did, though, afraid of what she might find out. She didn’t want to discover that he had been taken out by the mob or dead from an overdose or whatever else. But she still cared. She definitely cared.
She told her father to look out for Logan, refused to elaborate on why, and she had hoped he did. She never got any calls in the middle of the night, so that was a good thing. She went back to Neptune, once. Didn’t talk to her father or anyone, really, but after that week, she knew she had nothing to worry about. Everyone would be fine, especially Logan.
The night of Logan’s fight with Gorya still haunted her, and she didn’t want to relive it in any way, shape, or form. She didn’t want to remember the blood on Logan’s shirt and knuckles or the way he smiled at her or the elaborate heat boiling in her stomach and down her body at the sight of that smile.
And then, he smiled at the idea of death.
She had been too scared and too pissed off to call him when she drove out of Neptune for good.
Even Wallace was a distant memory now; she hadn't talked to him in over a year. He had refused her calls two months after she ran, just because he was still angry with her. He said he had been scared for her, and she didn’t care. Even as the guilt ebbed and flowed within her, she couldn’t get the emotion out, to let him know she was truly sorry. Needless to say, he didn’t believe her when she apologized, and their already fragile relationship was never the same.
Last she heard, he was working at some engineering company in Florida.
She had convinced herself that leaving California for bigger and better things was the best thing she could do, and the fact that Piz had followed was an added bonus. Even if she had to give up everything in search of “bigger and better,” she was determined to do so, because she deserved better. Even Piz said she deserved better than Neptune, and she had believed him.
Veronica even let herself believe for almost a year that she was in love with Piz. He took care of her, loved her, and was there during the most trying time of her life. He was nice, safe and reliable, so she was grateful to have him.
He wasn't safe and reliable for long. In fact, he wasn’t so nice, either.
As luck would have it, Stosh Piznarski wasn't built to handle the hectic, unpredictable life of living with an FBI intern/agent. He hadn’t been built for anything, really. He hadn’t defended her honor after the sex tape, and grew more insecure after that afternoon in the cafeteria. He grew distant. She dove deeper into her training and her work, and he said nothing, allowing her to do what she had to, if it made her happy. All she wanted was for him to be up front with her, and he wasn’t.
So, she got colder.
Piz had tried to keep himself busy, just so he wouldn’t have to deal with an increasingly moody and secretive Veronica, and she supposed that was her fault for taking off the mask and getting comfortable too soon into their relationship when she should’ve been building up more walls. He wasn’t ready to see the real her. He was never ready.
She didn’t know why she thought he was different, why he was safe.
Piz had gotten a job at a local radio station that barely paid for their groceries. It was a small station that paid close to nothing and it was another twist of the knife. The slow start of Piz’s own career and the overwhelming loneliness had shook him, and he had quickly grown passive-aggressively bitter with all the time and effort Veronica was putting into her job. He was lucky she came home for dinner four times a week.
In exasperation, she recommended that he start up another band to busy himself, so he did. A year later, she found out about his other girlfriend.
The breakup was bad, but Veronica didn’t expect Piz to come out with a laundry list of her faults. He had held back all those years, and finally, the truth was revealed. He even brought up things that had happened back in Neptune. In retaliation, she went for the jugular by reminding him of his inadequacy as a boyfriend, a lover, and as a professional musician-slash-DJ, and in hindsight, it was a bad move. She knew he felt guilty for what he had done, but, dammit, she couldn’t allow herself to be talked to like that. His truth still hurt, though, and he still loved his girlfriend that wasn’t her, and he wouldn’t allow Veronica to belittle him any longer. It was over.
She kicked him out, and he sent her roses a week later with a final note of apology. She threw the flowers in the trash.
She spent a year alone, barring a couple of flings here and there. Then came Garrison Lloyd, a linguist for the FBI. He was a good one, three years of loyalty and truth. Nice guy, decent lover, good conversation. He had never noticed her frigidity- he had been too preoccupied with his own job. Garrison was sweet, but professional, and he was trustworthy and gave her space when she needed it.
They were a match made in heaven. He had even been there when Backup died, and helped her through her grief, which was stronger than she had ever thought possible.
A year ago, Garrison decided to go home to be with his ailing mother. Home was St. Louis, Missouri. Veronica refused to relocate with him, even after he had begged, so Ace was a goodbye present. She refused to cry over Garrison’s departure, instead opting to hunt down a child molester in Britain.
Failure after failure. She had hoped this job would be the one bright spot in her life, but it just wasn't to be. That was life, apparently. She was never going to be given a good, clean break.
Veronica stood up hastily when she realized she was crying again, and she wiped at her eyes roughly. Crying was a weakness. She just needed to get out of there before she officially lost her mind.
“Veronica?”
A sharp gasp escaped Veronica as she spun around, coming face to face with Piz, in his typical jeans and striped button-down, the annoying rock tee peeking out from underneath. His hair was shorter, there were some laugh lines in the corners of his eyes, but other than that, he looked the same.
She was surprised by the sharp ache that nearly sliced through her chest at the sight of him. The wound was still fresh, the wound was still open. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
Veronica inhaled sharply, pushing her shoulders back in a vain attempt at looking strong. “Piz.”
He gave her a small smile, staying in the doorway. “Hey. You had the door open...” he trailed off, his eyes falling on her face. “Why are you crying?”
She shook her head, turning away from him and clearing her throat. “I-I just had a rough day-”
“It’s only two o’clock,” he said with a faintly confused chuckle. “What’s-”
“I'm fine,” she said sharply. "What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?” he asked, ignoring her previous question. She didn't respond and he took that as a yes, stepping inside. “I'm visiting. The radio station's doing a promotional gig here, so I'm the head DJ,” he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You look good, Veronica.”
Veronica stared at him hard, crossing her arms over her chest. “So do you,” she replied robotically.
She knew he was lying. Her grey business suit did nothing for her figure, and her hair was a mess. She imagined her makeup was, as well. She was probably pale and dead-looking. Her mouth had the stale taste of toothpaste, and she wished she had picked up her morning coffee.
Piz nodded, glancing around the apartment. “The place looks good. Cleaner than I remember,” his eyes fell on Ace, a grin on his face as he bent over, holding his hands out for the dog. “He’s cute. Come here, boy.”
“His name’s Ace.” Veronica’s jaw clenched as she watched Ace approach Piz, sniffing his fingers before licking the backs of his hands. She hated Piz then for getting her dog’s affection so quickly. It had taken her a week just to get the puppy to stop wiggling out of her grasp.
“Ace! Cool name,” Piz rubbed the top of Ace’s head warmly before straightening up. He licked his lips slowly, his eyes on Veronica once more. “Where’s Backup?”
Backup had died in her arms on the floor of her apartment, his eyes slowly closing until his body was limp. He had licked her hand one last time, and she had kissed him and cried into his fur until she had fallen asleep. She allowed the pain to pass before responding. “He died,” she said stiffly. “A year ago.”
He looked downright grief-stricken for a moment, shaking his head. He waited, watching Veronica’s face carefully, as if anticipating any semblance of grief in her eyes, a sob from her throat. It never came, her face was still blank. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “He was a good dog.”
The tears began to form in her eyes again, the reminder of her best friend gone was too much, and she immediately glanced at the floor, blinking rapidly. After a moment, she looked up at him, and the mask was back on. “He was.”
Piz was silent for a long moment, his mouth twitching nervously. She stared at him blankly, and he finally laughed, glancing at her. “You know, Ace kinda reminds me of this time I was at a Battle of the Bands and Am said-”
Am. The nickname was enough to have her seething, all these years later.
“How is the girlfriend?” Veronica asked bitterly. “Amber, was it?” she forced a smile on her face. “Cute, perky redhead with a nice rack? Amber?”
Piz didn't bite, even though his posture had stiffened. “Amberly’s fine. She’s-” his mouth clamped shut, and the flinch wasn’t lost on Veronica.
The pause from Piz was long and excruciating, and Veronica was startled by the dread suddenly filling her. “What? She’s what?”
“She’s five months along,” he said quietly. “It's a boy.”
Veronica exhaled sharply, suddenly feeling dizzy. “Good for you. Congrats,” she said quickly, turning on her heels and rushing for her bedroom. Now, she really needed to get the hell out of there. She had to go. She had to leave. She had to run. Run, run, run.
Piz followed down the hallway, his eyes widening in alarm as Veronica yanked her suitcase out from underneath the bed, throwing it on the mattress. “Veronica. Hold on-”
“Do you have a name picked out yet?” she asked hastily, moving to her closet. The tremble in her voice made her cringe, and she turned away from him, looking through her clothes.
“Brendan.”
She laughed as she pulling clothes off hangers, not knowing what else to do. “Good. Good for you. That’s a nice name. Brendan. Brendan Piznarski. It’s a super name.”
There was regret in Piz's eyes now as he watched her move about, flinging the pile of clothes in her arms onto the mattress. “Don’t be like this, Veronica,” he said, his voice even. “Please.”
Veronica smirked, folding clothes quickly before throwing them in the suitcase. All of her stupid power suits were left behind. Only casual clothes, and some formal wear. All of her shoes. Underwear. Socks. Jewelry. It all had to fit in her car. “Come on, Piz- how did you expect me to react? You...you're having a baby with the girl you cheated on me with.”
He let out a shaky breath. “We were over long before Amberly came around, and you know it, Veronica.”
She straightened up, throwing a pair of socks into her suitcase. “And yet, it took me completely by surprise!” she exclaimed with a loud laugh. “Imagine that!”
Piz looked genuinely annoyed as he stared into her eyes, and his jaw clenched. “It took you by surprise because you were so self-involved-”
“Oh, so it's my fault, now?” she chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m not self-involved,” she muttered, more to herself than to him.
He placed his hands on his hips, staring at her hard. “You didn’t even congratulate me when I got a promotion.”
Her eyes narrowed in faint confusion. “You never got a promotion.”
“Yeah, I did. A big one.”
“No.”
“You see?” he exclaimed, jabbing a finger at her. “You don’t even-”
She shook her head, turning away from him. “Listen, I had a lot of stuff on my mind, then. Stuff you wouldn’t understand but that still doesn’t mean you could cheat-”
“You...you’re just so cold and secretive- what did you think was going to happen, huh?”
Veronica’s fists clenched as she glared at Piz, feeling the anger boiling inside her. “That didn’t give you the right to cheat on me, Piz! You cheated on me and then acted like it was an accident! You had the nerve to get angry because I was angry! Now, now...FIVE years later, you swing on by with the wonderful news about your perfect girlfriend and your perfect baby and you’re expecting me not to get upset?”
“That wasn’t what I came here for!”
“What, then? To say hey?” she rolled her eyes, pulling a makeup bag from her dresser and throwing in all of her jewelry and makeup. “How nice of you.”
Piz pointed at her, his face red and his eyes flashing with a rare anger. “There you go again, belittling me. It’s all you do, Veronica. You think you’re so superior-”
“I do not!”
“You DO!” he exclaimed. “All you do is judge and my God, I felt like I was nothing after a year with you! Don’t you know what you do to people’s self esteem? You kill everything, Veronica- and you haven’t changed, not one bit,” he inhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Haven’t you noticed how alone you are? What’s wrong with you?”
Veronica laughed bitterly, ignoring his question. “I thought you were different, you know. I thought you were-”
He laughed. “What- not like Logan? I thought you liked that in a guy,” he raised his eyebrows as shock flashed in her eyes for only a moment. “Like we both weren't thinking it, Veronica,” he said softly.
“I- I can’t believe you’re still holding on to that...” Veronica trailed off, forcing a tight smile. “No, you’re nothing like Logan, Piz. He never cheated on me. Ever.”
Piz nodded, licking his lips slowly. “I apologized, Veronica. I said I was sorry, over and over. I apologized until you got sick of it, and then I apologized for apologizing so much. I didn't want it to end like that, and I was sick with the guilt of it, okay? It was like a bad movie, and I'm sorry, but it's been years. Why haven't you gotten over it?”
She rolled her eyes, turning back to her suitcase. “I’m so over it. Is Amberly as big as a house, yet?”
“She looks beautiful.”
Veronica laughed bitterly, starting to throw socks into her bag. She didn't even know why she was so damn angry- Piz was right, it had been years since the incident happened. He had moved on, was happy, and she didn’t want kids, anyway. It had all worked out for the best. Even if that should’ve been her life, it had all worked out for the best.
Still, it didn’t stop her from saying- “Aw, you’re just the best boyfriend ever! Saying exactly what she needs to hear...”
That rare, rare anger was in his eyes, and he scowled at her. “Stop it.”
“Why? Am I lying? Don’t you love your little groupie-”
“I loved you!” Piz said loudly, and he blinked fast as the words stumbled out of his mouth, clumsy and rushed. “I loved you and I wanted to be with you and you didn’t care! You expected me to sit around while you did your thing, and it was a mistake, Veronica! I moved away from everyone and everything for you and it was a mistake!”
“You didn’t HAVE to come with me!”
“But I wanted to!” he shot back harshly. “I wanted to because I loved you but you didn’t even say thank you. You just got more distant and cold and you acted like I was a burden...it fucking hurt, Veronica. You made me feel like nothing!”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, you’re such a martyr...”
“Veronica, it was, like, five years ago. Okay? Get over it. Grow up,” he snapped. “I came over here for a reason, not to fight with you over stupid crap-”
Veronica nodded quickly, slamming her suitcase shut. She zipped it up violently as the tears welled in her eyes again. She faced Piz fully, sticking her jaw out defiantly. “You know what? You’re absolutely right. Thank you, Piz, for showing me what a horrible human being I am.”
Piz swallowed hard, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Veronica, I didn’t come here for this. I’m so-”
“Don’t,” she snapped, jerking the suitcase off her mattress and hauling it past Piz. The bag hit her thigh hard as she made her way down the hallway. He turned, starting to follow her, and she walked faster, Ace right behind her.
It was bullshit. It was all bullshit, and she needed to get away. She knew where she was going before she even reached the door.
“Where are you going?” Piz called after her.
“I’m going home,” Veronica muttered, not caring if he heard her or not.
Friday, August 8, 2014, 6:25am: Veronica Mars heads back to Neptune, California after a seven-year absence.