(no subject)
100 ways
by Elise
pg13
buffalo sabres: Miller/Campbell
59. Food
Ryan moved around his apartment. He found another bottle and had emptied it outside on his own. Brian had found him, and hugged him, no other words spoken. Together, they began to live side by side. They had their system and their rituals. They spoke briefly of their problems, but never pushed. Things weren’t perfect, but they weren’t terrible. Ryan, for the first time in a long while, felt excited to get up in the mornings. He was beginning to see a bit clearer.
Perking up at the sound of his name, Ryan trudged off towards the kitchen, “What’s up, Bri?” He said, using the familiar nickname.
“I get it now.” Brian said, “I understand everything.”
Ryan found Brian at his kitchen table, with all the photos spread across the table. There was a bright light on, so Brian could read the notes. Ryan began to shake and said, “YOu weren’t supposed to find out.”
“I wouldn’t have if you told me where things were in your kitchen.” Brian sighed, “What the hell is this? Are you being blackmailed?”
“No..No..” Ryan said quickly, then blushing and looked at his feet, “Actually, sortof.”
“That’s why you cut communication with us, all of us.” Brian ran a hand through his hair, “Christ, Miller, we can call the cops.”
“No cops!” Ryan said, “Life is fine. No more packages, see? I moved. It’s gone.”
“Well, I don’t feel comfortable with looking at these photos, of you and Pom, you and Danny...” Brian stood up and slowly made his way to Ryan, who was shaking again, “We have got to go to the police. She can’t do this to you.”
“What if...” Ryan started.
“What if you stand up for yourself and reap the benefits of being a truly free man?” Brian said, not knowing his words echoed Lindy’s.
Ryan’s face began to crumble. “I’m so afraid.”
“I’ll call with you, ok? We can make some food while we wait for them.” Brian said softly, “This has got to stop.”
Ryan nodded and took a dare. He stretched his arms out and around Brian’s waist. Brian let out a sigh of relief and hugged back Ryan. They stood like that for a while. Both people remembering the feel of the other. Brian tucked his face into Ryan’s neck, remembering his scent. Brian whispered again, “Let’s call.”
60. Drink
“You could have told me, Ryan.” Danny said over the phone, “Better yet, you should have told me.”
Ryan curled up and looked fearfully at Brian. Brian smiled sadly, and Ryan replied, “No, No i couldn’t. She was going to release them.”
“You should’ve told someone.” Danny insisted, “You’re going to drive yourself insane.”
“What if she has them released from prison?” Ryan said, “I mean, technically she’s not even in prison right now. What if she gets a good lawyer?”
“Ryan!” Danny said, his voice cutting through the younger man’s rambling. “My wife and I are separating. She’s already lost me. It’s over, baby.”
Brian bristled and Ryan gave him a look. Brian blushed slightly and mouthed the word ‘sorry”. Ryan replied to Danny, “I’m just nervous all the time, and upset. I was afraid of hurting everyone in those photos. I’m like a plague.”
“You’re one of the best things to happen to me, Ryan,” Danny said, “Without you, I’d never have grown half as much as I did. I would never have learned to care as much as I did. Now I’m ready for true love, and I can’t say it wasn’t without your help.”
Ryan’s eyebrows raised in surprise, “Are you... wait... what are you doing with your petit chou chou?”
Danny laughed and said, “Nothing. Yet. But soon, maybe. We’ll see. I have to divorce the lady, first.”
Brian grinned, and leaned his shoulder against Ryan’s. Ryan loved speaker phone. Danny sighed and said, “OK, one more thing I need to ask you about, Miller.”
“Shoot.” Ryan said.
“Drinking.” Danny replied.
Ryan tensed a bit and said, “I’ve been sober for a week.”
Danny opened his mouth to chastise Ryan for slipping up when he stopped, “I’m proud of you.”
“Really?” Ryan said, genuinely surprised, “Really really.”
Danny laughed and said, truthfully, “Really, really. Listen, I gotta pick up Xandre from practice.”
“I’ll talk to you soon, Danny. I’m sorry about disconnecting.” RYan said.
“You better be sorry.” Danny said, “Oh and Campbell, hope your eyesight is improving.”
“Thanks, dude.” Brian said, smiling slightly.
“How did you know?” Ryan asked Danny, but the Flyer forward had hung up.
Brian turned to Ryan and said, “That was good, yes?”
“I think things are falling into place.” RYan said, “Hopefully.”
61. winter
Ryan returned to practice, but this time, with Brian by his side. When they entered the locker room, they recieved a few stares and a few surprised looks. There was the occasional smile and a full round of welcome backs. In the corner, was a simmering Drew Stafford. Ryan caught eyes with the younger man, before Drew rolled his eyes and turned away. Brian grabbed his elbow, moving him along.
Maxim walked up to the two of them and smiled a bit, “You two...?”
Brian shook his head, moving towards his locker. Ryan watched after him and said, “We’re talking. And Lindy sortof dropped him off. I thought it’d be good to have him at practice. Boost team spirits, and his own.”
Maxim blinked at Ryan and then slapped him on the shoulder. “You’re taking care of him.”
“Yeah,” Ryan said defensively, “So what?”
Maxim laughed and walked to his locker. Ryan shook his head and walked to Brian. “Want me to help you out there?” Ryan said.
“I’m not an invalid.” Brian said tensely.
“What did I do?” Ryan responded.
Brian shrugged, “Whatever, i’ll find my way. I don’t need to be babied.”
Rolling his eyes, Ryan raised his hands and said, “Fine. Have an attitude.”
Brian grabbed Ryan’s hip and said, “I’m sorry. I’m frustrated.”
“Then be frustrated.” Ryan said, “I’m with you.”
With a nod, Brian began to walk towards the rink, his hand moving along the wall. Ryan watched, knowing that they’d meet up. Maxim, mostly dressed walked back up to Ryan, “I think you should give me some money.”
Ryan turned to him, “What?”
“I am going to need to be paid from now on for babysitting you two. It’s taking up too much time, and my personal life is suffering.” Maxim yawned a bit.
Ryan shoved him and said, “Listen... it’s just tense, that’s all. We’ve barely discussed a thing. It’s like... it’s like a winter. Everything is in hibernation.”
“Hibernation?” Maxim inquired.
“Or dead.” Ryan mused.
“Or perhaps, things are preparing to grow and start new.” Maxim shook his head, “You’re an awful poet, Miller.”
Ryan smirked and began to get dressed for practice.
62. Spring
Maxim and Jason sat amused from their seats in the small New Orleans bistro. Brian and Ryan were outside. Ryan had extended his hand for Brian to go first, but Brian was insisting. They were having a small argument about it, neither men wanting to go first. Maxim sighed and leaned back in his seat. “I think there’s something in the water in this town. Those two are strange.”
Jason chuckled and said, “I wonder when being a gentlemen will be less important than getting warm between those two. it’s cold out there!”
Finally, a woman walked up and held the door open for the both of them, the two players blushing in embarassment. Maxim started laughing uncontrollably, setting off Jason in a fit of giggles. Ryan glared and said, as he passed them to grab menus, “Shut it, Max.”
Brian sat down, his ears tinged pink. Max slapped him on the knee, “Ginger, you’re ridiculous, do you know that?”
Brian rolled his eyes and smiled at Jason. “Hey Jay, it’s good that you came out.”
Jason shrugged, “Didn’t think you actually would want me here.”
“The past is the past, dude.” Brian said.
Jason visibly relaxed and nodded, Maxim nodding in approval. Brian leaned back and said, “So, notice any changes?”
Maxim looked at Brian’s left hand, “No ring. Same old same old?”
Tearing his hand back, Brian scowled, “No, jerk, I have no glasses on.”
Jason smiled largely, Maxim following. “That’s great, Soupy. Are you all healed?”
“Yep.” Brian grinned, “I can return, and we can start winning games now.”
Ryan raised an eyebrow as he rejoined the group. Maxim shook his head, “unbelievable. You really have been living with Miller.”
Brian froze slightly. Now that his eyes were better, he could move to his house again. That was a conversation he hadn’t had with Ryan yet. Ryan shrugged, “He is blessed to be living with my honorable existence, Max. Honorable.”
“Humble, Ry.” Max said.
“Modest, really.” Ryan said.
Jason laughed and turned to Brian, “I think I’m going to miss the sunglasses, Soup.”
Ryan laughed, “You mean these?”
Brian’s face turned red as Ryan pulled from his jacket the large protective shades. Maxim started laughing, reaching for them. “Soupy, these are amazing.”
“Aw cut it out, guys.” Brian said, trying not to smile and looking down.
Ryan reached for a menu just as Brian began to reach. Their hands touched for a moment, and both men froze. Brian turned his face away and quickly took his hand back. “Go ahead.”
Ryan put his hands in his lap, “No, you go ahead.”
“You said you were hungry, and you should probably eat more, so you go look first.” Brian insisted.
“But your hand was there first, Bri, you go ahead.” Ryan countered.
Maxim pointed at the two and said, “Do you see what I mean?”
Brian smiled and looked up at Ryan. Ryan stopped speaking and grinned, his cheeks flushing. Brian bit his lip and took a menu, handing it to Ryan. “Share?”
Ryan nodded, not being able to stop the smile from breaking out on his face.
63. Summer
Brian scratched his nose and sighed. He was browsing the internet, and taking down notes. licking his lips, Brian smiled as something else caught his eye, and he wrote it down. Ryan had woken up and came out to find Brian. He smiled softly, being quiet, as he saw Brian’s curls peaking out over the screen. They had begun to get comfortable with each other in the past few days of living with each other. Ryan had opened up a bit more about his AA meetings, meetings that Lindy and him would go to together. Brian began to share more about his family, and more about home. It turned out that Brian was quite lonely and homesick, but he never shared.
Licking his lips, Ryan crept around the table and looked over Brian’s shoulder. His eyes widened slightly and he said, “Why are you learning about East Lansing?”
Brian yelped, jumping a bit. He turned and smacked Ryan in the leg before turning back to the computer. “You friggin ruin everything.”
“What did I do?” Ryan said, laughing. “You’re the one going all voyeur on my hometown.”
Brian spun around in the chair and looked up at Ryan, who still slept in pajama bottoms only. Brian’s face blushed a bit and said, “The point wasn’t to be a voyeur, it was to visit. Look what i found.”
Ryan raised an eyebrow and kneeled down next to the computer as Brian flipped through it. “We,” Brian started, “Could go to one of these parks, or Wharton Performing arts... or... Bell’s Greek Pizza...”
Ryan started chuckling and said, “Why are you looking at that stuff?”
Shifting a bit uncomfortably, Brian said, “Well... I was thinking about summer... and... this is stupid...”
“No.” Ryan said softly, “I want to know. It’s not stupid.”
Brian looked at Ryan and nodded. “Ok... the thing is, this summer, I was thinking that maybe... just you and I... could maybe stay there for the summer. I wanted to surprise you and see if you think its something good for us. I wanted to see your home and... It might not work out... we really haven’t been talking...”
Ryan blinked a few times, shocked. He reached over and shut the computer screen. “You don’t need that.” Ryan said.
Brian shut his eyes, shoulders slumping, his eyes burning with disappointment. It was stupid, and he was stupid for thinking Ryan would like the sentiment, or want to spend any type of time with him. Ryan shushed him and said, “I mean... I know East Lansing, and I’d love to spend all summer showing you. Brian, this is really sweet.”
Brian looked up surprised and said, “Yeah...I... I was just thinking of things we can do together.”
Ryan smiled, “Care to come to bed? Nothing but cuddling, but... would you like to...sleep in a bed?”
Brian took Ryan’s hand and said, “I don’t know. I’ve got a really nice couch that is really comfortable.”
Ryan rubbed his thumb over Brian’s hand and pulled them together. “I don’t want to let you go tonight.”
Brian let his hand wrap around to Ryan’s bare lower back and he smiled, happy to be touching Ryan again. Ryan let his head drop onto Brian’s shoulder and they remained like that for a moment. Brian had doubted everything lately, knowing that Ryan was the same, but feeling his body tight against his own, Brian felt like he had come home after a long journey. He turned his head and brushed his lips against Ryan’s, softly, hesitantly. Ryan’s eyes lazily opened up and he pressed his lips against Brian’s. They took their time, holding each other and kissing, and hopefully, healing.