Better off (Miles Away)
Title: Better off (Miles Away)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Krystal/Taemin; slight!Krystal/Kai
Type/Length: One-shot; 2400w
Summary: Soojung does not think they're better off miles away from each other.
Author's Note: And this is the third part of my prompt challenge. Check it out here.
A/N2: A failed attempt to write an angsty Krystal fic and a fic based on Better off by SHINee. :-(
Soojung stared blankly at the door, her head full of unanswered questions. She looked miserable but she couldn’t care less, she needed to be there by his side no matter what.
It has been days since they broke up. There were various reasons, meaningful and meaningless ones. Those days, Soojung thought a lot as of why this happened and a lot of answers arose but they weren’t enough. What was enough, actually?
‘Fuck everything. I need him.’ She thought several days after their break up. God knows how long it really was but to her it felt like years.
She knew for sure that they needed the time and space to fix everything but she was helpless. She rather stop the inevitable than spend her time in misery. So there she was, knocking on his door like a homeless kitty finding its way back to its owner after years of hardship.
“Soojung.” Her name rolled off Taemin’s tongue almost involunatarily. The sight of the young girl panicked him. She was independent but never stubborn so he was taken aback by her action. “What are you-“
She pressed her lips onto his, warmth embracing their souls. It hasn’t been that long since their last physical contact but it was different-it was full of longing, love doubled each second as they get deeper. But soon, Taemin tracked back his senses and ceased the act.
“I thought we talked about this already.”
“Taemin, is this really the end?” she tiled his head back to her, searching for his eyes, for an answer. “Tell me, is there no other way for us to get back together? I love you! I love you so much.”
He tried to fight too, really. They tried their best to maintain a mature relationship in such a young age. They were young and in love although no one really believed those characteristics could match. It’s not just the society which is basically messed up but them too. One day, their arguments were endless and small things grew bigger, something they never expected.
They thought they could make it, especially with the rare mutual affection they shared but the unavoidable has come. He has to leave and she has to stay. They knew it and they tried but it didn’t work out.
He brought her to his arms, telling apologies she doesn’t need anyway. “Why are you even sorry? You know that’s not what I need.”
He knows what Jung Soojung needed but it is something they have to let go, something that is not worth keeping anymore-the feelings they developed, the moments they made, them. It’s their relationship that they had valued more than anything else on their high school days.
At first, it was Soojung who said she was suffocated already. Taemin has always been the guy everyone dreamt of having and she was thankful but there were times when Taemin goes overboard but he tends to not notice because all that’s important to him was them, the two of them.
“Because I can’t do anything for the both of us. We can’t fix it if we don’t let go, you know that.” And yes, Soojung knew better. Taemin was on the verge of leaving, not just metaphorically but also literally. He’s bound to stay miles away from her.
They prepared for it, spent their days together without minding what was around them. They forgot what they had before or what they could have ahead of them. And that was the start of their fallout.
“I’m not fixed, Taemin! Are you happy without me?” And that was Taemin’s breaking point. He pulled her inside the house, strong and passionate. Once again, their lips touched, a little more aggressive. He missed her so much that he doesn’t know how he’ll make it once she’s farther away.
He could have endured it. It was so unfair cause he knew he still have days before he finally leaves. How could he leave her now? How can he go miles away without Jung Soojung?
Taemin jostled her on the wall, body pressing closer, afraid that she’ll be gone again. Her hands freely rested at his neck, holding him closer. He trailed kisses on her jaw, neck and they were skin to skin. Taemin fumbled slowly under her shirt, feeling her on his palm.
She didn’t budge so they both knew where it was going and there’s no turning back.
It wasn’t the first time they made love but that moment was different, far beyond special than others. Taemin was careful but aggressive; a way that Soojung never knew how it was possible.
Young blood boiled with passion, adrenaline rushing every minute. They crossed their boundaries but love still overpowered lust. They both knew it wasn’t just sex, it was love making.
Soojung lied down wearily but she couldn’t sleep. After all, she still needed to go back home before the school calls home about her absence. It was stubborn of her to sneak out but if it was the only way, then it’s not a problem at all. She even thought of running away with him back to Seoul. Stubbornness must have been one of the bad traits she developed because of him.
“You won’t leave me now right?” The words rolled off bitterly on her tongue. She was delusional and foolish at the same time.
“Soojung-ah. I’m sorry.”
She cried, no, she bawled with screams. It wasn’t because she regretted everything about Taemin, but because there’s nothing else she could do. Everything felt heavy inside her and she wanted to let them go and that’s the only way she knows.
He tried to comfort her although it wasn’t what she needed.
__
They tried again, but failed again, miserably.
__
When he left, she sought for her friends that she abandoned for Taemin. They understood and they never opposed their relationship. Despite of his departure, Taemin was still one of the good guys.
“It’s okay, Soojung-ah. You’ll meet again once you graduate.” Sunyoung’s words were always soothing but she wasn’t rest assured. The problem did not simply lie on their distance but also the faltering understanding and faith that they needed.
Qian was matured, a mother figure to Soojung. The Chinese girl always looked after her and her friends so when she asked what she should do, she said “I understand you, Soojung. I’ve seen you go through relationships before and they weren’t like this. This is a serious matter for you and he is a very important person so I suggest you to do what your heart tells you to do.”
The older was right; their relationship was nothing like her past. Dating was just a game for her, she can enter and quit anytime. She didn’t play with their hearts but she knew what they felt for them were superficial.
__
She tried communicating with him again but things started to get worse. One moment they’re happy and the other they’re not. They just kept adding wounds to their already damaged relationship. Soojung didn’t know where it all started. She knew they were both at fault and it wasn’t simply just pride. It was something more, something like a hole that has established its opening and no matter how much they tried; it is something they couldn’t simply wrap up like the way it used to be.
“It’s time to let go, Soojung ah.” Sooyeon told her one evening when she found her younger sister with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a shot glass in another. “It’s stop.”
“I don’t want here Sooyeon. I don’t want anything but fly to Seoul and patch things up.” She sobbed once, twice and spoke again. “But I’m afraid that even if I go there, I still can’t fix it and this is really the end.”
“Give it a break, baby sister. You should stop trying now.”
And that’s when Soojung realized that she should try, not to fix them but to fix herself. Life goes on even with pain and sadness.
Soojung, then, started a new life without Taemin. The once unimaginable place where there is no Soojung and Taemin, just her, all alone trying to figure out what else is in store for her.
But of course, what Soojung felt had nothing to do with Taemin’s mindset. He still tried to pursue her, calling her and trying to connect to her in every possible way. Soojung didn’t know if she should be happy or not. There was still love, it was the flick back of happiness but it made her heart weigh more. It became the anchor to her, an obstacle which made it hard for her to move farther.
She strived to let go at his strong grip. Everything inside her was heavy, a burden she should carry on a very long way.
When school started again, she learnt to ignore. It was a new beginning for her, an opportunity she should never wish. Soojung was the average one but if she really works hard, she could be one of the bests. The results were plausible enough for her parents to see. It was a development they never experienced before. They were lenient to the sisters, trusting that they’ll never disappoint them so it was a shock to see Soojung like that.
__
The year passed by. She moved on with her life but that doesn’t mean her heart did. She was still longing for him, loving him without conditions but it was bearable. A day spent without Taemin becomes more and more bearable by time.
Jinri and Sunyoung made sure she wouldn’t stay on her room on her graduation night, sobbing on a movie she had watch more than once. So they dragged her on a local bar, not too loud but not too quiet either, just a place where they could chill and drink for the first time after becoming legal.
“So what’s your plan? Is it still Tae-“ Sunyoung nudged off Jinri with a nervous laugh, making sure she won’t finish her sentence. The younger winced and made a face, like she didn’t say anything wrong.
“It’s fine Sunyoung.” It wasn’t, his name was still poisonous for her to hear. “Well, I think I’ll study here. I’ve been here for years and I think studying here has always been the best option for me, anyway.” They both nodded understandingly, thinking the same way too.
The silence was thick but it wasn’t tense; just three high school graduates, listening to soft indie songs playing on the background. Soojung remembered having sodas and Buffalo wings with Taemin on the couch near the stage. They were underage so they couldn’t help but have those as they played with each others’ hands.
They laughed melodiously, almost too merrily for a Tuesday afternoon. It was nothing special; she was stressed with all the essays due that day and he loved staying with her girlfriend so why not.
“I really hate that bald guy!” Soojung raged on her lover, throwing hard glares on the table after ordering drinks and snacks. “He deserves to die! Imagine all the work I had to do last minute just because he rejected my original idea!”
Taemin chuckled, “I know how cruel he is, Soojung-ah. Last year, I went through the same exact experience.” That was a little overrated but it was for Soojung’s comfort.
“Really? Oh my God, I wasn’t the only one!” She hugged him in relief. “Sunyoung and Qian said I was overacting and took that guy’s side!”
It was one of those times when Soojung found someone who could side her unconditionally. They were always on the same boat, the perfect fit: Soojung would be the pessimist while Taemin would be the optimist. At first, they thought it wouldn’t click but somehow they did.
She continued to rest on his shoulders that day, weary mind on rest with him by her side. It was the first time she had experienced such comfort and protection-externally and internally.
Her rather long reverie had been disturbed when Jinri bade her goodbye and Sunyoung shouted “Wait for me let’s go together!” immediately putting on a jacket and hugging Soojung goodbye.
“See you later.”
She paid for their drinks and turned around to leave too but her departure was delayed by the sudden appearance of a dazzling male who strongly resembled Taemin; those full lips that resembled the ones that whispered sweet nothings on Soojung’s ears, that cute little nose, the ones where loved bumping hers with.
They looked alike so much she had let her tongue roll off a careless “Taemin.” And immediately regretted it. It was almost inaudible, she hoped he never heard.
“Sorry?” He said in flawless English, he looked Korean to her though.
“Oh no, I’m sorry. I mistakenly thought you were someone I know.” She replied back with eloquence.
He cracked a smile and extended a hand. Her insides were in a mixture of anguish and bliss. “I’m Jongin.” He introduced in Korean.
“Soojung.” Her chic personality was her charm, they said.
She cried that night with remnants flooded remnants of Taemin.
___
They weren’t the perfect fit, Soojung and Jongin.
First dates were fine, Soojung told him things about herself-albeit, including Taemin-and Jongin did the same. Casual meetings, sweet smiles exchanged few stolen kisses and hands perfectly matched. It’s funny how her hands fitted Jongin’s perfectly but her feelings didn’t match his.
Jongin was the one who broke up with her saying “You’re not ready yet, Soojung.” And she understand that. She felt it too.
They continued to be friends.
___
Five years later she was all of beauty and glamour. The old rag called Soojung is now replaced with the sophisticated Krystal.
She was no longer the 17 years old girl who cried over her first love. She dated a handful of guys, some serious, some not but it wasn’t as bad as it seems.
But then five years later, Taemin still looks the same: young and stunning.
And five years later, her heart was still Soojung despite her transformation.
Soojung is still in love with Taemin.
The moment he stood right before her is when she understands, that love can always wait and when things go wrong, time will fix it. And that is where she realizes that she had always waited, and he kept on looking for her.
It took him time and space to find her.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Krystal/Taemin; slight!Krystal/Kai
Type/Length: One-shot; 2400w
Summary: Soojung does not think they're better off miles away from each other.
Author's Note: And this is the third part of my prompt challenge. Check it out here.
A/N2: A failed attempt to write an angsty Krystal fic and a fic based on Better off by SHINee. :-(
Soojung stared blankly at the door, her head full of unanswered questions. She looked miserable but she couldn’t care less, she needed to be there by his side no matter what.
It has been days since they broke up. There were various reasons, meaningful and meaningless ones. Those days, Soojung thought a lot as of why this happened and a lot of answers arose but they weren’t enough. What was enough, actually?
‘Fuck everything. I need him.’ She thought several days after their break up. God knows how long it really was but to her it felt like years.
She knew for sure that they needed the time and space to fix everything but she was helpless. She rather stop the inevitable than spend her time in misery. So there she was, knocking on his door like a homeless kitty finding its way back to its owner after years of hardship.
“Soojung.” Her name rolled off Taemin’s tongue almost involunatarily. The sight of the young girl panicked him. She was independent but never stubborn so he was taken aback by her action. “What are you-“
She pressed her lips onto his, warmth embracing their souls. It hasn’t been that long since their last physical contact but it was different-it was full of longing, love doubled each second as they get deeper. But soon, Taemin tracked back his senses and ceased the act.
“I thought we talked about this already.”
“Taemin, is this really the end?” she tiled his head back to her, searching for his eyes, for an answer. “Tell me, is there no other way for us to get back together? I love you! I love you so much.”
He tried to fight too, really. They tried their best to maintain a mature relationship in such a young age. They were young and in love although no one really believed those characteristics could match. It’s not just the society which is basically messed up but them too. One day, their arguments were endless and small things grew bigger, something they never expected.
They thought they could make it, especially with the rare mutual affection they shared but the unavoidable has come. He has to leave and she has to stay. They knew it and they tried but it didn’t work out.
He brought her to his arms, telling apologies she doesn’t need anyway. “Why are you even sorry? You know that’s not what I need.”
He knows what Jung Soojung needed but it is something they have to let go, something that is not worth keeping anymore-the feelings they developed, the moments they made, them. It’s their relationship that they had valued more than anything else on their high school days.
At first, it was Soojung who said she was suffocated already. Taemin has always been the guy everyone dreamt of having and she was thankful but there were times when Taemin goes overboard but he tends to not notice because all that’s important to him was them, the two of them.
“Because I can’t do anything for the both of us. We can’t fix it if we don’t let go, you know that.” And yes, Soojung knew better. Taemin was on the verge of leaving, not just metaphorically but also literally. He’s bound to stay miles away from her.
They prepared for it, spent their days together without minding what was around them. They forgot what they had before or what they could have ahead of them. And that was the start of their fallout.
“I’m not fixed, Taemin! Are you happy without me?” And that was Taemin’s breaking point. He pulled her inside the house, strong and passionate. Once again, their lips touched, a little more aggressive. He missed her so much that he doesn’t know how he’ll make it once she’s farther away.
He could have endured it. It was so unfair cause he knew he still have days before he finally leaves. How could he leave her now? How can he go miles away without Jung Soojung?
Taemin jostled her on the wall, body pressing closer, afraid that she’ll be gone again. Her hands freely rested at his neck, holding him closer. He trailed kisses on her jaw, neck and they were skin to skin. Taemin fumbled slowly under her shirt, feeling her on his palm.
She didn’t budge so they both knew where it was going and there’s no turning back.
It wasn’t the first time they made love but that moment was different, far beyond special than others. Taemin was careful but aggressive; a way that Soojung never knew how it was possible.
Young blood boiled with passion, adrenaline rushing every minute. They crossed their boundaries but love still overpowered lust. They both knew it wasn’t just sex, it was love making.
Soojung lied down wearily but she couldn’t sleep. After all, she still needed to go back home before the school calls home about her absence. It was stubborn of her to sneak out but if it was the only way, then it’s not a problem at all. She even thought of running away with him back to Seoul. Stubbornness must have been one of the bad traits she developed because of him.
“You won’t leave me now right?” The words rolled off bitterly on her tongue. She was delusional and foolish at the same time.
“Soojung-ah. I’m sorry.”
She cried, no, she bawled with screams. It wasn’t because she regretted everything about Taemin, but because there’s nothing else she could do. Everything felt heavy inside her and she wanted to let them go and that’s the only way she knows.
He tried to comfort her although it wasn’t what she needed.
__
They tried again, but failed again, miserably.
__
When he left, she sought for her friends that she abandoned for Taemin. They understood and they never opposed their relationship. Despite of his departure, Taemin was still one of the good guys.
“It’s okay, Soojung-ah. You’ll meet again once you graduate.” Sunyoung’s words were always soothing but she wasn’t rest assured. The problem did not simply lie on their distance but also the faltering understanding and faith that they needed.
Qian was matured, a mother figure to Soojung. The Chinese girl always looked after her and her friends so when she asked what she should do, she said “I understand you, Soojung. I’ve seen you go through relationships before and they weren’t like this. This is a serious matter for you and he is a very important person so I suggest you to do what your heart tells you to do.”
The older was right; their relationship was nothing like her past. Dating was just a game for her, she can enter and quit anytime. She didn’t play with their hearts but she knew what they felt for them were superficial.
__
She tried communicating with him again but things started to get worse. One moment they’re happy and the other they’re not. They just kept adding wounds to their already damaged relationship. Soojung didn’t know where it all started. She knew they were both at fault and it wasn’t simply just pride. It was something more, something like a hole that has established its opening and no matter how much they tried; it is something they couldn’t simply wrap up like the way it used to be.
“It’s time to let go, Soojung ah.” Sooyeon told her one evening when she found her younger sister with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a shot glass in another. “It’s stop.”
“I don’t want here Sooyeon. I don’t want anything but fly to Seoul and patch things up.” She sobbed once, twice and spoke again. “But I’m afraid that even if I go there, I still can’t fix it and this is really the end.”
“Give it a break, baby sister. You should stop trying now.”
And that’s when Soojung realized that she should try, not to fix them but to fix herself. Life goes on even with pain and sadness.
Soojung, then, started a new life without Taemin. The once unimaginable place where there is no Soojung and Taemin, just her, all alone trying to figure out what else is in store for her.
But of course, what Soojung felt had nothing to do with Taemin’s mindset. He still tried to pursue her, calling her and trying to connect to her in every possible way. Soojung didn’t know if she should be happy or not. There was still love, it was the flick back of happiness but it made her heart weigh more. It became the anchor to her, an obstacle which made it hard for her to move farther.
She strived to let go at his strong grip. Everything inside her was heavy, a burden she should carry on a very long way.
When school started again, she learnt to ignore. It was a new beginning for her, an opportunity she should never wish. Soojung was the average one but if she really works hard, she could be one of the bests. The results were plausible enough for her parents to see. It was a development they never experienced before. They were lenient to the sisters, trusting that they’ll never disappoint them so it was a shock to see Soojung like that.
__
The year passed by. She moved on with her life but that doesn’t mean her heart did. She was still longing for him, loving him without conditions but it was bearable. A day spent without Taemin becomes more and more bearable by time.
Jinri and Sunyoung made sure she wouldn’t stay on her room on her graduation night, sobbing on a movie she had watch more than once. So they dragged her on a local bar, not too loud but not too quiet either, just a place where they could chill and drink for the first time after becoming legal.
“So what’s your plan? Is it still Tae-“ Sunyoung nudged off Jinri with a nervous laugh, making sure she won’t finish her sentence. The younger winced and made a face, like she didn’t say anything wrong.
“It’s fine Sunyoung.” It wasn’t, his name was still poisonous for her to hear. “Well, I think I’ll study here. I’ve been here for years and I think studying here has always been the best option for me, anyway.” They both nodded understandingly, thinking the same way too.
The silence was thick but it wasn’t tense; just three high school graduates, listening to soft indie songs playing on the background. Soojung remembered having sodas and Buffalo wings with Taemin on the couch near the stage. They were underage so they couldn’t help but have those as they played with each others’ hands.
They laughed melodiously, almost too merrily for a Tuesday afternoon. It was nothing special; she was stressed with all the essays due that day and he loved staying with her girlfriend so why not.
“I really hate that bald guy!” Soojung raged on her lover, throwing hard glares on the table after ordering drinks and snacks. “He deserves to die! Imagine all the work I had to do last minute just because he rejected my original idea!”
Taemin chuckled, “I know how cruel he is, Soojung-ah. Last year, I went through the same exact experience.” That was a little overrated but it was for Soojung’s comfort.
“Really? Oh my God, I wasn’t the only one!” She hugged him in relief. “Sunyoung and Qian said I was overacting and took that guy’s side!”
It was one of those times when Soojung found someone who could side her unconditionally. They were always on the same boat, the perfect fit: Soojung would be the pessimist while Taemin would be the optimist. At first, they thought it wouldn’t click but somehow they did.
She continued to rest on his shoulders that day, weary mind on rest with him by her side. It was the first time she had experienced such comfort and protection-externally and internally.
Her rather long reverie had been disturbed when Jinri bade her goodbye and Sunyoung shouted “Wait for me let’s go together!” immediately putting on a jacket and hugging Soojung goodbye.
“See you later.”
She paid for their drinks and turned around to leave too but her departure was delayed by the sudden appearance of a dazzling male who strongly resembled Taemin; those full lips that resembled the ones that whispered sweet nothings on Soojung’s ears, that cute little nose, the ones where loved bumping hers with.
They looked alike so much she had let her tongue roll off a careless “Taemin.” And immediately regretted it. It was almost inaudible, she hoped he never heard.
“Sorry?” He said in flawless English, he looked Korean to her though.
“Oh no, I’m sorry. I mistakenly thought you were someone I know.” She replied back with eloquence.
He cracked a smile and extended a hand. Her insides were in a mixture of anguish and bliss. “I’m Jongin.” He introduced in Korean.
“Soojung.” Her chic personality was her charm, they said.
She cried that night with remnants flooded remnants of Taemin.
___
They weren’t the perfect fit, Soojung and Jongin.
First dates were fine, Soojung told him things about herself-albeit, including Taemin-and Jongin did the same. Casual meetings, sweet smiles exchanged few stolen kisses and hands perfectly matched. It’s funny how her hands fitted Jongin’s perfectly but her feelings didn’t match his.
Jongin was the one who broke up with her saying “You’re not ready yet, Soojung.” And she understand that. She felt it too.
They continued to be friends.
___
Five years later she was all of beauty and glamour. The old rag called Soojung is now replaced with the sophisticated Krystal.
She was no longer the 17 years old girl who cried over her first love. She dated a handful of guys, some serious, some not but it wasn’t as bad as it seems.
But then five years later, Taemin still looks the same: young and stunning.
And five years later, her heart was still Soojung despite her transformation.
Soojung is still in love with Taemin.
The moment he stood right before her is when she understands, that love can always wait and when things go wrong, time will fix it. And that is where she realizes that she had always waited, and he kept on looking for her.
It took him time and space to find her.