Fanfic - NCIS / Dexter / Burn Notice - Give the Boys a Great Big Hand - XVIII

[ffutures]

This is a multiple crossover, beginning with NCIS and Dexter and eventually taking in several other fandoms. Some sections include passages with a first person viewpoint, reflecting the narrative style used in (for example) the Dexter TV show and books. I try to make the identity of the viewpoint characters clear. Crossovers this chapter Burn

Comments

[whswhs]

Here's some minor, purely linguistic stuff:

" I gave it thirty and let it cool then tried again, this time I got read errors"-I would use a semicolon, not a comma, as those are effectively two independent sentences.

"Packet of cigarettes"-at least in the southern California dialect of American English, the word is "pack."

"Fibre glass"-I've always seen in closed up, and of course the American spelling is "fiberglass."

The dream sequence is a nice touch; you seriously had me thinking I was about to find out what Gibbs's real scheme was.

[ffutures]

Thanks - I think the fibre glass thing is autocorrect, the others are my crap punctuation and the usual Britspeak problem.

Originally the dream sequence was going to be the end of the final chapter, after the case against Dexter is thrown out and he goes back to old habits, but there are many reasons why it wouldn't have worked.