Comments | ff_yuri_drabble: Homecoming

auronlu in ff_yuri_drabble

Homecoming - Lucil/Elma (FFX)

Oct 27, 2009 03:28

Title: Homecoming
Fandom: Final Fantasy X
Pairing: Lucil/Elma
Prompt: Electricity
Rating: R
Words: 200

( On Lightning Mushroom Rock... )

prompt: electricity, pairing: elma/lucil, fandom: ffx, author: auronlu

Comments 9

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auronlu October 27 2009, 17:08:29 UTC

Yep, that is the art and difficulty of writing drabbles, as opposed to other forms of fanfiction! I find them hard to write, but I love the challenge ( ... )

(The comment has been removed)

auronlu October 27 2009, 17:41:57 UTC

69 with lesbians is cunnilingus, and doesn't necessarily require hands!

I'll have to rewrite it. If I'm having to explain the physics, I obviously failed the drabble test. :)

Thread 6

Don't worry, this whole community is adult-filtered. ;) auronlu October 27 2009, 22:24:27 UTC

Yeah, that comment puzzled me. I've known a couple women who can't get off on vaginal stimulation, only clitoral.

(A quick Google search reveals that "69" and "cunnilingus" go together like peanut butter and jelly. Sure, you don't have to enact both at once. But lesbians often do. The word is not unicunnilingus.)

However, neither term appears in the drabble. So, back to the drabble. How can I make it less confusing?

Maybe I just need to change "Elma's arms were trembling" to a stage direction. This requires snippage elsewhere to maintain word count:

Lucil stretched, luxuriating in Elma's novice explorations, moaning to tell her where sparks struck: there, the hollow of her hip; there, a foot's arch.

Elma turned around, drawn as if by a magnet. Lucil held her hips as she lavished tongue's devotion through golden curls. Lucil lapped between her thighs.

Elma broke first, burying her face and quaking. Lucil followed with a shriek that matched the storm.
Hmmm. Removing a few descriptives tightened the prose in a very drabble-ish ( ... )

hamimifk November 4 2009, 00:38:01 UTC

Despite others complications with this drabble, I wholly enjoyed it. Of course, smut makes me a happy camper any day of the week, so that may be slightly bias.

(Gah! Auronlu! Where's your subject? Your tags!? *flails about* I know I've been slacking but don't punish me like that! XD)

hamimifk November 4 2009, 00:42:00 UTC

Erm, and I just realized there is no lightning prompt.

._.

auronlu November 4 2009, 08:04:01 UTC

Whoops!
What the heck happened to the subject?!

I thought I'd tagged it too, but you probably did it for me. I'll fix the header and stuff. O.o ;;

It was electricity, not lightning, d'oh!

hamimifk November 4 2009, 09:20:16 UTC

<.< Maybe a Bomb ate it?

No, there wasn't a single tag. ^^; I tagged it cause I like tagging (and I figured you meant Electricity). ^_^ Thank you!