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So many anniversaries
4 years today. I have been counseling. Always giving, never taking.
Sometimes it's easy to forget when our days go by so quickly. The things that I don't see are mistaken for things that are simply not there, the illusion of shadows that are not shadows, are real, are tangible, but are not always seen or felt. And I must remind myself to remember. -
Remember
4 years. Today, I am sorry for the anniversary of the loss of your father.
It's an odd timeline, the space we occupy for short breaths. Who knows what will happen or where we'll end up. Or when. -
Soon
I think it is one of the saddest feelings ever to realize that something has got to change, but you're not yet sure what or when or how. -
Don't you wish you were dead like me?
It is selfish, I now know, to want to be understood by anybody but yourself. And we can skip the angst-ridden proclamations about how nobody gets us because we are only looking to be gotten and never to get ( Read more... ) -
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As children, we're told not to talk to strangers.
When we get to school, we're told not to talk to each other.
And when we're finally old, we're told not to talk to ourselves.
It's no wonder we're lonely. -
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I really did not intend to forget your birthday today.
I only intended to forget your death. -
Who counts these days anymore?
I bet you thought I'd have forgotten your birthday after all these years.
No.
I can't tell you where, and I can't tell you how, but I can tell you that looking back, it all seems a bit peculiar. I can tell you that from over here, nothing else looks quite the same. -
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Realizing, frightened, how much passes in those moments when you stop paying attention, are distracted or waiting, praying for things you aren't sure you want ( Read more... ) -
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There is no way to know beforehand, for all the scripted words, mirrored conversations, paragraphs chanted rhythmically into stale car interiors, how it is that things will turn out. I can only try to fit my own tongue into your mouth, speak what I think you will say, take this gamble on educated guesses, no safe bets ( Read more... ) -
Blink and you're gone
Never thought I'd get this old ( Read more... )