The $64,000 Conundrum: Chapter 12
Title: The $64,000 Conundrum: Chapter 12
Authors: fernedakki
Pairing: Daniel Agger / Fernando Torres, Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso, David Beckham / Iker Casillas, Gerard Piqué / Cesc Fabregas (Robin Van Persie / Cesc Fabregas, Gerard Piqué / Lionel Messi for now)
Rating: PG-13 (This part)
Genre: AU / Romance
Word Count: 5,045 Words
Disclaimer: This is not real.
Summary: Do you know what love is? Why do humans fall in love? Do we all have 'soul mate' waiting for us? What does it take for one to love another? Does 'love at first sight' really exist?
David Beckham will court Victoria Adams with Iker Casillas' help. Gerard Piqué will conduct an experiment because he has this bullshit love theory about dogs. Fernando Torres loves piano and hates Daniel Agger. And Xabi Alonso has this penchant of solving every mystery in the world.
Their journeys through the teenage years will lead you to the discovery of the biggest conundrum in the universe, and back.
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
The $64,000 Conundrum
Chapter 12
"Where is it?"
Cesc was peeking at a leaflet in hand, a maze with multicolor: red, blue, green, black, and on and on. He couldn't even find where he currently was, and was more without a clue where they're going.
"Vallcarca." Gerard who's standing beside him said though he still kept looking at the metro map in hand. "Who gets to the right line first wins!" He said and darted off immediately. Cesc looked up in surprise but sprinted after him though he still had no idea where to.
"What?! You know where it is already?!" He yelled after his taller friend.
"If you follow me, I'll win," Gerard yelled back over his shoulder. Cesc gritted his teeth. He didn't think the taller boy knew where he's going, he couldn't be that fast, so Cesc straightened the map in the air in front of him and tried his best to peek at it while running. Gerard jumped down the first escalator he found, Cesc followed with no idea where it led.
Then he found it. Gerard said 'Vallcarca', right?
It's on the green line: L3. He looked up to find the sign and found that down the escalator had only two lines: blue and purple. He looked at the map again and raked his brain hard for where he was right now. They'd just been out of a church with bizarre architecture of several perforated towers with balls on top. What the fuck is its name again? Cesc scanned the map for some ideas: a station at a junction of blue and purple line...
Sagrada Familia, that's it!
Cesc almost shouted in delight. So now what he had to do was outrun Gerard, take the blue line to Diagonal then the green to Vallcarca. He smirked then ran full-speed since he didn't need looking at the map anymore. Gerard was still skimming through the leaflet when he dashed past.
"What?! You know where to go now?" He yelled after the smaller boy.
"Who gets to the line last pays entrance fees!" Cesc yelled over his shoulder.
It's Gerard's turn to grit his teeth and sprint after the other boy.
They arrived at Park Güell safe and sound and Gerard paid for entrance fees. It's not Cesc's first time here though he'd never come here by himself. The last time was when he visited his relatives in Barcelona with his family. Gerard also had relatives living in Barcelona and this time they came with Gerard's family and stayed over at Gerard's relatives' place. Cesc couldn’t remember the name of the park so he told the taller boy that he wanted to go to the place where they had the rainbow giant lizard.
Gerard said he called it the gay gecko.
They walked the park, it's chilly and crowded at the end of December. They would stay here for two more days then back to Madrid. It's the last day of the year today.
"Another year is passing," Cesc said while sitting on a serpentine mosaic bench. Gerard sat beside him.
"Do you think we can be like this forever?" The taller boy suddenly asked. Cesc raised his brow.
"Like what?"
"Like this." Gerard didn't look him in the eyes. "Do everything and go everywhere with each other. Be friends forever. Grow old together."
"We've grown up together, haven't we?" Cesc snickered. "Why couldn't we keep on then?"
"Because finally we'll get married and have children, they will need our times so it's not like we could spend time together all the time like this."
"What? Gery, we're still in 8th grade! Why do you talk like a mid-thirties?!" Cesc laughed. "Tell me this has nothing to do with Daniella and me."
Gerard didn't answer.
"Okay." Cesc took in a deep breath. "Daniella and I are girlfriend and boyfriend, alright? It's not like I'm gonna marry her or anything. Not within ten years' time. And though she and I are together, haven't you noticed that I choose to spend New Year's Eve with you, moron?"
"But it can't be like this forever, you know it," Gerard protested.
"Why not?" Cesc fussed. "Why couldn't we be together forever? We might grow up and get married and have children, so what? Let it be. When we get married, we would go on a honeymoon together. When I have children, I would bring my kids to play with yours. How's that sound?" He shifted to lay his head on the other Catalan's shoulder, felt Gerard stiffen up a bit but didn't care. "Listen, you dickhead, whatever's gonna happen in the future, nothing would ever tear us apart. Until the end of time...,
"...you'll always be my best friend."
***
Another week passed by with churning ambiguity.
Xabi felt fuzzy every time Steven's closed by, which was quite often. Sometimes he delighted when the boy stuck around, but sometimes it made him uneasy and he's confused with himself, too. But after that time, Steven had never kissed him again, never held his hand, or even been alone with him. They didn't have a chance and didn't try to create one. Steven didn't seem to think it's a great idea to publicize that he liked to touch Xabi in more than a friendly way, so what he did when they're among their friends was just standing really close to the Spaniard until they felt the heat radiating off each other.
It's by virtue of hot summer weather, or not.
Jaguar Team's scores beat Liver Bird's on the scoreboard once. They had ranked like that for only two days before Liver Bird scored highest in a chemistry task and soared to No.1 in the overall ranking. The dude who did that was Milan Baros, one of Steven’s close chums, and Xabi didn't think he's quite human.
They didn't have assignments today, instead they'd have a holiday in York. The town was a hundred miles away from Liverpool and it took two hours on the coach ride. Xabi sat with Dirk, it took all about ten buses to take all the students, guardians and teachers. Jaguars and Liver Birds were on different coaches.
Once they arrived at the town, they could choose to go to York Minster, York Castle Museum, Jorvik Viking Centre, National Railway Museum, or Treasurer's House - or if someone was nerdy enough, all five of them. Once you went to one but still wanted to go to other attractions, there were always guardians who would take you there. Otherwise you're free for the rest of the day until five when everyone would have to gather at the parking lot for buses back to Liverpool. The choice was individual and they didn't have to go as a team, so Xabi had decided that he'd go to York Minster then flee to some serene and peaceful corners in York, with Steven.
They arrived at nine, not quite early for a working day. It's Wednesday today, better not going anywhere with four hundred plus plus fifteen-years-old in tow on weekends when the town couldn't bear their avalanche. Xabi hopped off at the parking lot, breathing in the scent of antiquity basking in the summer sun. England couldn't have a brighter day, it's the sunniest day Xabi had seen on this island and the weather was quite sultry, too. Students were noisy as teachers and guardians were trying to cluster all of them into five groups heading to five destinations. Suddenly Steven appeared beside him out of nowhere.
"Hey," he greeted, two hands deep in his pockets.
"Hey," the Spaniard greeted back. "Ready?"
"For the restaurant I'll take you? Of course. Should we skip the tour and go straight there right now?" He smiled mischievously. Xabi glared, he knew the Scouser was joking but still..., or he wasn't joking?
"What's it, anyway?"
"Rustique."
"It's good?"
"The best in York. Shall we?" He turned around and raised his brow over his shoulder. Xabi scowled.
"No, it's too early, I'm not hungry yet. And I want to go to the Minster first anyway so you can't break this rule."
So they went to York Minster together, Xabi's other friends decided to go to Jorvik Viking Centre which he figured John’s the culprit. It took an hour for the walk and the tour, then they're done. Still, it's almost two hours before noon.
"Where do you want to go next?" Steven asked.
"Umm, anywhere? You be the guide."
He laughed. "Alright, but just so you know, it's only my second time here."
The Spaniard didn't mind that at all and he let the Scouser lead him anywhere he wanted. They got lost in York town centre, wandering a lane then turned a corner to another alley. Everything along the path seemed ancient yet robust, evidences that it could stand through inclemency and incursion for two thousand years and could do another. The bricks reeked of memories and the cobblestones saturated history.
The walk ended somewhere and Steven took half an hour to find a way to Rustique from there. When they arrived at the restaurant eventually, they're quite starving. The restaurant was lovely decorated in French bistro style: with vibrant sunglow-colored walls to framed vintage ad posters all over the place. It's full despite on a working day and Xabi realized Steven had to book in advance to get a table.
"Steven, this restaurant is very famous, isn't it?" He whispered once they're seated at a table.
"Of course."
"Wouldn't it be expensive?"
"It’s worth it."
Xabi didn't know whether it’s actually worth it, he's not an epicure and hadn't tried French cuisines much before, if it wasn't Madrid cooking, what he ate would be Basque's. But this was fabulous, he thought as finishing seafood crepe at the speed of light. He only knew that everything tasted brilliant, though it couldn't be compared with other restaurants since he'd never tried.
When the bill came, Steven didn't let the Basque see it and insisted on paying for them both.
"What?! Why?!" Xabi didn't understand.
"Because I should have done this since the first time we went out together, but I didn't. So you have to let me do it this time," the Scouser said and Xabi couldn't find any rationality in that sentence.
"Why would you have to do that?" He inquired. "Tell me how much it was."
"Xabi, you don't understand anything, do you?!" Steven snapped.
So Xabi shut up after that, but he still didn't understand anything. They wandered around town for the best part of the afternoon, the sun's still shining bright in the crystal clear blue sky. When their feet were sore, they went in Bettys Cafe and Tea Room, ordering a pot of Darjeeling and their famous scones. Xabi liked the dessert very much and was even more impressed when Steven laughed and told him that Bettys’ scone was disputably the finest in England. Sadly they wouldn't be fresh if he bought them home, so the Scouser settled for chocolate biscuits instead.
The Spaniard insisted on paying for them this time, and Steven didn't object except for the take-away biscuits which he demanded to pay by himself.
As they walked back to the parking lot as the end of the day crept up around them, Xabi felt like he had been fulfilled, not by marvelous French lunch or remarkable tea break, but by something he couldn't quite put a finger on. As a scientist, he wanted to know what it was, but as a teenage boy with high Testosterone level, he didn't quite want to know.
"Xabi," the Scouser called as they arrived at row of coaches. They had to separate here to get on with their teammates. The Spaniard turned around as Steven handed him the paper bag from Bettys.
"What?"
"For you," the English boy said.
Xabi didn't understand. "But you bought it-"
"Just take it, alright? I give it to you," he cut off.
The Basque took the bag from Steven's hand, still bewildered. The Scouser hesitated for a split second before reaching out to ruffle Xabi's short hair endearingly. "See you at dinner," then he fled to his bus.
Xabi got on the coach and sat on the window seat. Dirk and his other friends got on not five minutes later and the guardians counted the kids. The bus set off when ready, didn't wait for other coaches since that would delay them all, and Xabi watched as archaic bricks and stones full of bleak shadows of the past rolled by to verdant hills and fields glowing under the evening summer sunlight. The sun was still high on the far horizon, it wouldn't set until the next three hours or so.
At one point when Dirk was snoring contently beside him, Xabi opened up the Bettys paper bag with nothing particular in mind. He put his hand in in hope to find a frigid tin of biscuit, instead, he's surprised his fingers caught something soft, something that felt like...
The Basque pulled it out of the bag.
It's a stem of red rose and Xabi stared at it incredulously. He had no idea how it had come into the bag, it's sure was Steven's doing, but he had no idea when he had done it, or how, or why.
Well, he might know the 'why', or he might not.
Xabi turned to look at the rolling scenery once again, the rose still in hand where he spin it between his index and thumb. He held it under his nose and breathed in, its odor was full of novel summer sunshine, so contrary to the place where it came from. Still, Xabi wondered where Steven had got it, where that the Scouser plucked it off its tree because he didn't see one at all.
The Spaniard inhaled deeply once again and smiled, the summer would soon end and the flowers wither, but within him there would remain memories of York, Liverpool, this wonderful summer...,
...and Steven Gerrard.
***
"Hey, dudeee,"
Agger greeted his mates the minute they entered the studio after school. There're five people already in there: some preparing instruments, some chatting. The studio looked dingy because of the dark-colored walls and dim lights. Fernando followed close behind the Dane, felt really out of place.
All of Agger's friends stopped their activities and greetings that were about to be blurted once they noticed the newcomer.
"Man, this is Fernando," Agger introduced the blonde to all of his friends, it's the second time the Spaniard heard the Dane call him by first name. His friends looked like thugs, some of them were from their same class at school, some of them he had never seen before at all.
"I know who he is," a boy he remembered named Martin said, he was the scariest of them all. "What is he doing here?"
"From now on he would come with me," Agger stated simply. "He's good with guitars."
Martin raised his brow. "Electric ones? He doesn't look the rock type." Agger stopped in a corner and took off his guitar. Fernando didn't bring any. "Where's his guitar anyway?" Martin asked further.
"He’ll use mine," the Dane said.
That answer caught everyone off guard, including Fernando. He's dragged along with only a coercive invitation to 'a studio where my friends and I practice'. He didn't think it's suitable for him to come, yet Agger didn't accept any refusal.
So here he was, with no idea at all that he had to perform with electric guitar. "What are you talking about?!" The Spaniard hissed at the Dane.
"Show them." Agger handed the other boy the guitar, Fernando stared at him incredulously.
"What?!" He hissed again, still didn't take the guitar from Agger.
"You heard me, Fernando," the other boy retorted calmly.
It made something inside of him churn, the way Agger ordered him with that authoritative voice combined with the way he called his name. It's bizarre and incomprehensible, why Agger felt the need to show that he was on good terms with Fernando in front of his friends was beyond his understanding. They'd never been on good terms though, at least Agger had never called him 'Fernando' in private. This was so unusual.
Still, the blonde took the guitar from Agger. The Danish boy hid his smile in the corner of his mouth. While Fernando took the Gibson Les Paul Custom Maple off its bag, Agger took the cables and connected them to the guitar amplifier he'd taken with him then fumbled with the wires. Finishing with the amplifier, he turned to the Spaniard and got on his knees to plug the cable to the electric guitar Fernando had slung across his shoulder and neck. The blonde blushed as he looked at Agger in that position in front of him.
He's just linking the guitar, there's nothing romantic - or worst, erotic - about it, Fernando scolded himself.
"All right?" The Dane stood up and the blonde realized they're standing really close, with only the Gibson Les Paul between them. Agger looked him in the eyes when he asked, and the Spaniard almost averted his eyes away from that blazing intensity when the Danish boy reached out to brush the hair off his forehead before his fingers strayed down to Fernando's freckly face, knuckles brushing his cheeks lightly.
The gentleness of his action stunned the Spaniard, he looked at the Dane with wide perplexed eyes. "Show them what you've got," Agger had whispered so low that others couldn't hear before backing away, providing some rooms for Fernando.
The blonde, still in daze, fumbled with the black instrument in his hands awkwardly. He hadn't practiced on electric guitar much, only when the Dane forced him to. Still, with fierce sound and heavy vibration, he preferred playing songs he always liked: slow music, though soft rock this time.
He chose 'You're the Inspiration' by Chicago.
The Spaniard didn't dare looking up at other boys when he started the intro. From what Agger had shown him off, they might expect a heavy metal or hardcore punk. They would be disappointed, though. He didn't opt for electric guitar in the first place - it's what Agger coerced him to do - it's too harsh and cacophonous for his personality. At least, this was his choice: the song.
The noise was piercing even when he plucked the pick lightly on the strings. Agger had heard him play this song before, it's one of the songs he chose to practice and the Dane kept telling him that his execution was too flabby. So this time he put more strength into the rhythm: he emphasized the key notes, ground out the tunes and harnessed the melody with his vigorous delicate hands.
'And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see,
We're so in love when we're together.
And I know that I need you here with me,
From tonight until the end of time.'
He didn't want to think about the lyrics, because he'd been thinking about them much enough. The blare of the guitar filled the room: the sound of vibrating strings without words. Still, Fernando felt like he'd shouted what he had in mind out very loud, though he actually had no idea how to put them into words, let alone verse. What he thinks and feels are beyond what he could describe with human language alone.
When words fail, music speaks, they say.
Or it might be that he's simply a coward who didn't have enough courage to tell the other what he really felt.
He finished the music with vehement vibrations and the room gradually fell quiet as echoes from the amplifier evanesced. When the studio was completely silent and it seemed that other six boys had been petrified some time during his performance, Fernando shifted his feet uncomfortably.
Then the first clapping sound came from Martin, and Agger was the second to move. He didn't clap or make any other sound, just walked straight to the blonde, huge smug grin on his face and it made the Spaniard's heart race so fast.
Agger had never smiled at him this genuinely ecstatic before.
"You did great," the Dane told him as his hand grabbed the strap and took the guitar off Fernando through his head for him. Other boys walked up to them and Agger turned around to face them, standing by the blonde's side like a guard.
"Well, that's impressive, I've never heard anyone play that song in this version before." A blond boy smirked. "I actually expected a hard rock, from the way ickle Danny coddles you." He glimpsed at Agger at that point, smirk hovering on his lips. "But I can see now that you're a classic type. Nice song choice, though. I'm Nick, by the way." He extended his hand and Fernando caught it for a shake.
Others' names were Christian, Raul and Simon. The last person who introduced himself was Martin, a skin-headed Slovak with tattoos fully-painted on his arms, just like Agger. "Your version's nice," he commented. "I noticed that Danny lent you his guitar. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't even let anyone lay a finger on it. You must be special to him."
Fernando blushed from that while Agger still looked good-natured. "Fuck off, Martin." The Slovak had eyed them suspiciously before walking away to his position in the group, taking his electric guitar from where he had put it against the wall. The others resumed preparing their instruments: Nick - drum, Christian - keyboard, Raul - another guitar, and Simon - lead vocals.
The band had six parts already, they didn't need another guitarist, or even a pianist since they had Christian. The Spaniard wondered which role he played in this league. Why did the Dane drag him here? He didn't belong to this place.
"We'll practice some songs for now. You can sit over there." Agger pointed to a bench at a wall, Fernando glanced at it then back to the Dane.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Just sit there and wait for me. Do your homework, maybe."
The blonde glared. "What? If I've already finished my business here, can I go?"
"To where? You'll come home with me anyway."
"Err, to play piano, or football? Why do I have to be here? You can call me when you finish." And why do I need to go home with you, exactly?
"I want you here," the Dane said simply. Fernando glared incredulously.
"Why? What for?"
"Just stay," he ordered then turned to flock with his friends. Fernando gaped at him, at a loss for words.
Eventually, he trudged to the bench and sat muddledly on. Pulling his homework out, the Spaniard tried his hardest to shut out all the noisy sounds, which was less than effective. After fifteen minutes, he abrogated the idea. Putting textbooks back in his bag, he sat with his chin in his hand, looking at the rockers performing some rock songs he didn't know. Simon's singing:
“I want to know your fear, from your feet to the back of your ears
When they raise the landing gear will your heart stay here?
If you could forgive me for being so brash, well you...
You could hit me or whip me, I'd savor each lash.”
He looked at Simon, then at Agger. The Dane's plucking the strings intensely - he's playing lead guitar. The blonde felt his stomach flip every time he gazed at the other boy playing electric guitar, the rampant look suited him very well and enhanced his mutinous character, it made him reek of primitive virility. Agger kept eyes on his instrument mostly, but after Fernando had watched him for a full minute, it seemed like the Danish boy sensed his stare so he looked up, their eyes caught.
“No more fighting. This is only a waste of our time.
'Cause soon we'll be leaving.
Will this strength still be mine?
I'll look out for you 'til I die, 'til I rot.
I'll remember you 'til I die, until I rot.”
Seriously, Fernando thought embitteredly, does this also have to be another love song?
***
"David."
Iker turned around at the sound and found Victoria standing there, textbooks in her arms and impatience in her eyes.
"Oh, hey," the English boy standing beside him greeted the girl. "How are you today?" Lame question indeed.
"I'm fine," Victoria said. "Would you come having lunch with me?"
David normally sat with his friends during lunch and Victoria with hers. She'd never bothered him except for dinner, until now.
"Umm, why?" The British asked guilelessly, Victoria suddenly looked furious.
"Because you're my boyfriend, that's why," she grumbled, and Iker almost tripped because of it. Victoria and David are a couple now? How? What? When? Where? Why didn’t David tell him? He felt his heart constrict, it made him nauseous.
"But I have to sit with my friends." That's typical David.
"You can sit with her," Iker blurted out, though he knew that 'David's friends' not meant only him. The Londoner turned to him.
"Why? Are you sure?" He flustered.
"Of course, I'm sure. You're her boyfriend, aren't you?" The Spaniard tasted sour in his mouth. He shouldn't have said that. Is he ready to know the answer? He wasn't so sure.
"Yeah," the English mumbled, didn't look the Spaniard in the eyes. His sudden discomposure was an answer enough and Iker felt his world crumbling down around him bit by bit.
He needed to get away from David as far as possible right now. "See you in class then," he muttered, setting off to the canteen without waiting for the Londoner's reply. David didn't follow him and when he arrived, he realized he had no appetite at all.
He turned around and stalked out of the building, to the lawn where the Spanish sun didn't shine anymore. Winter was arriving and everything in the world seemed dull, bleak and empty.
What did he expect, anyway? He knew from the start that this thing between them - whatever it was - was never meant to happen. He even helped David court Victoria in the first place and he should have apprehended by now that they're never meant to be. If there's something he hated the most, it would not be Victoria or David, it would be his heart.
Because it always betrayed him.
***
It didn't work like that. Gerard always knew it would never work like that.
Cesc doesn't like him, would never like him. Cesc liked girls, he had had two girlfriends before. Though he'd broken up with the last one a couple of years before and was now on some kinds of hiatus, Gerard knew the new girl would come eventually and what he could do would be just looking at them from afar with a heartache.
He couldn't keep on doing this because what he and Cesc felt weren't the same, he staggered in the confusing world, tumbled to who he really was, tripped over the surge of his inherent desire, until realizing he'd already fallen in love with Cesc. Not too late, quite too early, actually, seeing that one had understood who he really was and what he actually wanted since one was only twelve years old.
So he decided that he should move on, he couldn't live like this. It had been eating him up, killing him inside for four years now. He'd decided that he would drop a hint to Cesc first that he's bent, then he would date someone in front of everyone. Out of all the people he knew, Lionel Messi was his second-most favourite person in the world, of course his most favourite person was Cesc. He didn't care much what other people thought, there were loads of homosexual couples in this school and in this city, what he did care was Cesc's opinion regarding the issue. They'd never talked about this before and Gerard had no idea what Cesc thought, though he's quite sure that Cesc was straight, evidences be the two girlfriends he'd had, yet he would be ready to accept him for whatever he was.
What he hadn't expected was Robin van Persie.
The boy came out of nowhere, and Cesc didn't seem bothered just a bit by the idea of two boys getting together. It shocked Gerard, because he thought he knew what's in Cesc's head, he thought he understood him, he's his best friend after all.
But it appeared that he's wrong, he didn't understand a thing.
Still, that Cesc was gay didn't mean that they could be together. Even if Cesc wasn't with that Dutch, Gerard still insisted on them being apart, they're best friends for too long and their friendship was precious, too precious that Gerard wouldn't risk anything that would have a tiny chance in destroying it. They're better this way: friends forever, like Cesc had said.
He couldn't think of living a life without him.
So he chose Lionel and would stick to it. Lionel liked him enough, Gerard knew, and he liked Lionel enough, too. It's just that the fact about Cesc and Van Persie hit him very hard in the face. The notion angered him at first, then after some time, he'd realized that it's better to let Cesc go, he'd chosen this path himself since the day he'd asked Lionel out. He'd decided that they should be apart for a bit, not depended on each other's presence as much as before. He knew Cesc suffered, too, but he would cope with it eventually, just like their puppies. What more was that he didn't trust himself to control his thought to be 'just friends' when he's always this close to Cesc, always bantering and caring and touching one another. He needed some spaces between them, at least for now until his heart eventually comprehended that it couldn't think of Cesc Fàbregas that way.
So when Lionel Messi stepped in his house one day at the start of winter, Gerard asked without hesitation, "Lionel, are you free during the New Year’s hols? My family usually goes to Barcelona, we have relatives there, in case you'd like to come with us."
To be continued in Chapter 13.
.
Authors: fernedakki
Pairing: Daniel Agger / Fernando Torres, Steven Gerrard / Xabi Alonso, David Beckham / Iker Casillas, Gerard Piqué / Cesc Fabregas (Robin Van Persie / Cesc Fabregas, Gerard Piqué / Lionel Messi for now)
Rating: PG-13 (This part)
Genre: AU / Romance
Word Count: 5,045 Words
Disclaimer: This is not real.
Summary: Do you know what love is? Why do humans fall in love? Do we all have 'soul mate' waiting for us? What does it take for one to love another? Does 'love at first sight' really exist?
David Beckham will court Victoria Adams with Iker Casillas' help. Gerard Piqué will conduct an experiment because he has this bullshit love theory about dogs. Fernando Torres loves piano and hates Daniel Agger. And Xabi Alonso has this penchant of solving every mystery in the world.
Their journeys through the teenage years will lead you to the discovery of the biggest conundrum in the universe, and back.
Previous chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11
The $64,000 Conundrum
Chapter 12
"Where is it?"
Cesc was peeking at a leaflet in hand, a maze with multicolor: red, blue, green, black, and on and on. He couldn't even find where he currently was, and was more without a clue where they're going.
"Vallcarca." Gerard who's standing beside him said though he still kept looking at the metro map in hand. "Who gets to the right line first wins!" He said and darted off immediately. Cesc looked up in surprise but sprinted after him though he still had no idea where to.
"What?! You know where it is already?!" He yelled after his taller friend.
"If you follow me, I'll win," Gerard yelled back over his shoulder. Cesc gritted his teeth. He didn't think the taller boy knew where he's going, he couldn't be that fast, so Cesc straightened the map in the air in front of him and tried his best to peek at it while running. Gerard jumped down the first escalator he found, Cesc followed with no idea where it led.
Then he found it. Gerard said 'Vallcarca', right?
It's on the green line: L3. He looked up to find the sign and found that down the escalator had only two lines: blue and purple. He looked at the map again and raked his brain hard for where he was right now. They'd just been out of a church with bizarre architecture of several perforated towers with balls on top. What the fuck is its name again? Cesc scanned the map for some ideas: a station at a junction of blue and purple line...
Sagrada Familia, that's it!
Cesc almost shouted in delight. So now what he had to do was outrun Gerard, take the blue line to Diagonal then the green to Vallcarca. He smirked then ran full-speed since he didn't need looking at the map anymore. Gerard was still skimming through the leaflet when he dashed past.
"What?! You know where to go now?" He yelled after the smaller boy.
"Who gets to the line last pays entrance fees!" Cesc yelled over his shoulder.
It's Gerard's turn to grit his teeth and sprint after the other boy.
They arrived at Park Güell safe and sound and Gerard paid for entrance fees. It's not Cesc's first time here though he'd never come here by himself. The last time was when he visited his relatives in Barcelona with his family. Gerard also had relatives living in Barcelona and this time they came with Gerard's family and stayed over at Gerard's relatives' place. Cesc couldn’t remember the name of the park so he told the taller boy that he wanted to go to the place where they had the rainbow giant lizard.
Gerard said he called it the gay gecko.
They walked the park, it's chilly and crowded at the end of December. They would stay here for two more days then back to Madrid. It's the last day of the year today.
"Another year is passing," Cesc said while sitting on a serpentine mosaic bench. Gerard sat beside him.
"Do you think we can be like this forever?" The taller boy suddenly asked. Cesc raised his brow.
"Like what?"
"Like this." Gerard didn't look him in the eyes. "Do everything and go everywhere with each other. Be friends forever. Grow old together."
"We've grown up together, haven't we?" Cesc snickered. "Why couldn't we keep on then?"
"Because finally we'll get married and have children, they will need our times so it's not like we could spend time together all the time like this."
"What? Gery, we're still in 8th grade! Why do you talk like a mid-thirties?!" Cesc laughed. "Tell me this has nothing to do with Daniella and me."
Gerard didn't answer.
"Okay." Cesc took in a deep breath. "Daniella and I are girlfriend and boyfriend, alright? It's not like I'm gonna marry her or anything. Not within ten years' time. And though she and I are together, haven't you noticed that I choose to spend New Year's Eve with you, moron?"
"But it can't be like this forever, you know it," Gerard protested.
"Why not?" Cesc fussed. "Why couldn't we be together forever? We might grow up and get married and have children, so what? Let it be. When we get married, we would go on a honeymoon together. When I have children, I would bring my kids to play with yours. How's that sound?" He shifted to lay his head on the other Catalan's shoulder, felt Gerard stiffen up a bit but didn't care. "Listen, you dickhead, whatever's gonna happen in the future, nothing would ever tear us apart. Until the end of time...,
"...you'll always be my best friend."
***
Another week passed by with churning ambiguity.
Xabi felt fuzzy every time Steven's closed by, which was quite often. Sometimes he delighted when the boy stuck around, but sometimes it made him uneasy and he's confused with himself, too. But after that time, Steven had never kissed him again, never held his hand, or even been alone with him. They didn't have a chance and didn't try to create one. Steven didn't seem to think it's a great idea to publicize that he liked to touch Xabi in more than a friendly way, so what he did when they're among their friends was just standing really close to the Spaniard until they felt the heat radiating off each other.
It's by virtue of hot summer weather, or not.
Jaguar Team's scores beat Liver Bird's on the scoreboard once. They had ranked like that for only two days before Liver Bird scored highest in a chemistry task and soared to No.1 in the overall ranking. The dude who did that was Milan Baros, one of Steven’s close chums, and Xabi didn't think he's quite human.
They didn't have assignments today, instead they'd have a holiday in York. The town was a hundred miles away from Liverpool and it took two hours on the coach ride. Xabi sat with Dirk, it took all about ten buses to take all the students, guardians and teachers. Jaguars and Liver Birds were on different coaches.
Once they arrived at the town, they could choose to go to York Minster, York Castle Museum, Jorvik Viking Centre, National Railway Museum, or Treasurer's House - or if someone was nerdy enough, all five of them. Once you went to one but still wanted to go to other attractions, there were always guardians who would take you there. Otherwise you're free for the rest of the day until five when everyone would have to gather at the parking lot for buses back to Liverpool. The choice was individual and they didn't have to go as a team, so Xabi had decided that he'd go to York Minster then flee to some serene and peaceful corners in York, with Steven.
They arrived at nine, not quite early for a working day. It's Wednesday today, better not going anywhere with four hundred plus plus fifteen-years-old in tow on weekends when the town couldn't bear their avalanche. Xabi hopped off at the parking lot, breathing in the scent of antiquity basking in the summer sun. England couldn't have a brighter day, it's the sunniest day Xabi had seen on this island and the weather was quite sultry, too. Students were noisy as teachers and guardians were trying to cluster all of them into five groups heading to five destinations. Suddenly Steven appeared beside him out of nowhere.
"Hey," he greeted, two hands deep in his pockets.
"Hey," the Spaniard greeted back. "Ready?"
"For the restaurant I'll take you? Of course. Should we skip the tour and go straight there right now?" He smiled mischievously. Xabi glared, he knew the Scouser was joking but still..., or he wasn't joking?
"What's it, anyway?"
"Rustique."
"It's good?"
"The best in York. Shall we?" He turned around and raised his brow over his shoulder. Xabi scowled.
"No, it's too early, I'm not hungry yet. And I want to go to the Minster first anyway so you can't break this rule."
So they went to York Minster together, Xabi's other friends decided to go to Jorvik Viking Centre which he figured John’s the culprit. It took an hour for the walk and the tour, then they're done. Still, it's almost two hours before noon.
"Where do you want to go next?" Steven asked.
"Umm, anywhere? You be the guide."
He laughed. "Alright, but just so you know, it's only my second time here."
The Spaniard didn't mind that at all and he let the Scouser lead him anywhere he wanted. They got lost in York town centre, wandering a lane then turned a corner to another alley. Everything along the path seemed ancient yet robust, evidences that it could stand through inclemency and incursion for two thousand years and could do another. The bricks reeked of memories and the cobblestones saturated history.
The walk ended somewhere and Steven took half an hour to find a way to Rustique from there. When they arrived at the restaurant eventually, they're quite starving. The restaurant was lovely decorated in French bistro style: with vibrant sunglow-colored walls to framed vintage ad posters all over the place. It's full despite on a working day and Xabi realized Steven had to book in advance to get a table.
"Steven, this restaurant is very famous, isn't it?" He whispered once they're seated at a table.
"Of course."
"Wouldn't it be expensive?"
"It’s worth it."
Xabi didn't know whether it’s actually worth it, he's not an epicure and hadn't tried French cuisines much before, if it wasn't Madrid cooking, what he ate would be Basque's. But this was fabulous, he thought as finishing seafood crepe at the speed of light. He only knew that everything tasted brilliant, though it couldn't be compared with other restaurants since he'd never tried.
When the bill came, Steven didn't let the Basque see it and insisted on paying for them both.
"What?! Why?!" Xabi didn't understand.
"Because I should have done this since the first time we went out together, but I didn't. So you have to let me do it this time," the Scouser said and Xabi couldn't find any rationality in that sentence.
"Why would you have to do that?" He inquired. "Tell me how much it was."
"Xabi, you don't understand anything, do you?!" Steven snapped.
So Xabi shut up after that, but he still didn't understand anything. They wandered around town for the best part of the afternoon, the sun's still shining bright in the crystal clear blue sky. When their feet were sore, they went in Bettys Cafe and Tea Room, ordering a pot of Darjeeling and their famous scones. Xabi liked the dessert very much and was even more impressed when Steven laughed and told him that Bettys’ scone was disputably the finest in England. Sadly they wouldn't be fresh if he bought them home, so the Scouser settled for chocolate biscuits instead.
The Spaniard insisted on paying for them this time, and Steven didn't object except for the take-away biscuits which he demanded to pay by himself.
As they walked back to the parking lot as the end of the day crept up around them, Xabi felt like he had been fulfilled, not by marvelous French lunch or remarkable tea break, but by something he couldn't quite put a finger on. As a scientist, he wanted to know what it was, but as a teenage boy with high Testosterone level, he didn't quite want to know.
"Xabi," the Scouser called as they arrived at row of coaches. They had to separate here to get on with their teammates. The Spaniard turned around as Steven handed him the paper bag from Bettys.
"What?"
"For you," the English boy said.
Xabi didn't understand. "But you bought it-"
"Just take it, alright? I give it to you," he cut off.
The Basque took the bag from Steven's hand, still bewildered. The Scouser hesitated for a split second before reaching out to ruffle Xabi's short hair endearingly. "See you at dinner," then he fled to his bus.
Xabi got on the coach and sat on the window seat. Dirk and his other friends got on not five minutes later and the guardians counted the kids. The bus set off when ready, didn't wait for other coaches since that would delay them all, and Xabi watched as archaic bricks and stones full of bleak shadows of the past rolled by to verdant hills and fields glowing under the evening summer sunlight. The sun was still high on the far horizon, it wouldn't set until the next three hours or so.
At one point when Dirk was snoring contently beside him, Xabi opened up the Bettys paper bag with nothing particular in mind. He put his hand in in hope to find a frigid tin of biscuit, instead, he's surprised his fingers caught something soft, something that felt like...
The Basque pulled it out of the bag.
It's a stem of red rose and Xabi stared at it incredulously. He had no idea how it had come into the bag, it's sure was Steven's doing, but he had no idea when he had done it, or how, or why.
Well, he might know the 'why', or he might not.
Xabi turned to look at the rolling scenery once again, the rose still in hand where he spin it between his index and thumb. He held it under his nose and breathed in, its odor was full of novel summer sunshine, so contrary to the place where it came from. Still, Xabi wondered where Steven had got it, where that the Scouser plucked it off its tree because he didn't see one at all.
The Spaniard inhaled deeply once again and smiled, the summer would soon end and the flowers wither, but within him there would remain memories of York, Liverpool, this wonderful summer...,
...and Steven Gerrard.
***
"Hey, dudeee,"
Agger greeted his mates the minute they entered the studio after school. There're five people already in there: some preparing instruments, some chatting. The studio looked dingy because of the dark-colored walls and dim lights. Fernando followed close behind the Dane, felt really out of place.
All of Agger's friends stopped their activities and greetings that were about to be blurted once they noticed the newcomer.
"Man, this is Fernando," Agger introduced the blonde to all of his friends, it's the second time the Spaniard heard the Dane call him by first name. His friends looked like thugs, some of them were from their same class at school, some of them he had never seen before at all.
"I know who he is," a boy he remembered named Martin said, he was the scariest of them all. "What is he doing here?"
"From now on he would come with me," Agger stated simply. "He's good with guitars."
Martin raised his brow. "Electric ones? He doesn't look the rock type." Agger stopped in a corner and took off his guitar. Fernando didn't bring any. "Where's his guitar anyway?" Martin asked further.
"He’ll use mine," the Dane said.
That answer caught everyone off guard, including Fernando. He's dragged along with only a coercive invitation to 'a studio where my friends and I practice'. He didn't think it's suitable for him to come, yet Agger didn't accept any refusal.
So here he was, with no idea at all that he had to perform with electric guitar. "What are you talking about?!" The Spaniard hissed at the Dane.
"Show them." Agger handed the other boy the guitar, Fernando stared at him incredulously.
"What?!" He hissed again, still didn't take the guitar from Agger.
"You heard me, Fernando," the other boy retorted calmly.
It made something inside of him churn, the way Agger ordered him with that authoritative voice combined with the way he called his name. It's bizarre and incomprehensible, why Agger felt the need to show that he was on good terms with Fernando in front of his friends was beyond his understanding. They'd never been on good terms though, at least Agger had never called him 'Fernando' in private. This was so unusual.
Still, the blonde took the guitar from Agger. The Danish boy hid his smile in the corner of his mouth. While Fernando took the Gibson Les Paul Custom Maple off its bag, Agger took the cables and connected them to the guitar amplifier he'd taken with him then fumbled with the wires. Finishing with the amplifier, he turned to the Spaniard and got on his knees to plug the cable to the electric guitar Fernando had slung across his shoulder and neck. The blonde blushed as he looked at Agger in that position in front of him.
He's just linking the guitar, there's nothing romantic - or worst, erotic - about it, Fernando scolded himself.
"All right?" The Dane stood up and the blonde realized they're standing really close, with only the Gibson Les Paul between them. Agger looked him in the eyes when he asked, and the Spaniard almost averted his eyes away from that blazing intensity when the Danish boy reached out to brush the hair off his forehead before his fingers strayed down to Fernando's freckly face, knuckles brushing his cheeks lightly.
The gentleness of his action stunned the Spaniard, he looked at the Dane with wide perplexed eyes. "Show them what you've got," Agger had whispered so low that others couldn't hear before backing away, providing some rooms for Fernando.
The blonde, still in daze, fumbled with the black instrument in his hands awkwardly. He hadn't practiced on electric guitar much, only when the Dane forced him to. Still, with fierce sound and heavy vibration, he preferred playing songs he always liked: slow music, though soft rock this time.
He chose 'You're the Inspiration' by Chicago.
The Spaniard didn't dare looking up at other boys when he started the intro. From what Agger had shown him off, they might expect a heavy metal or hardcore punk. They would be disappointed, though. He didn't opt for electric guitar in the first place - it's what Agger coerced him to do - it's too harsh and cacophonous for his personality. At least, this was his choice: the song.
The noise was piercing even when he plucked the pick lightly on the strings. Agger had heard him play this song before, it's one of the songs he chose to practice and the Dane kept telling him that his execution was too flabby. So this time he put more strength into the rhythm: he emphasized the key notes, ground out the tunes and harnessed the melody with his vigorous delicate hands.
'And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see,
We're so in love when we're together.
And I know that I need you here with me,
From tonight until the end of time.'
He didn't want to think about the lyrics, because he'd been thinking about them much enough. The blare of the guitar filled the room: the sound of vibrating strings without words. Still, Fernando felt like he'd shouted what he had in mind out very loud, though he actually had no idea how to put them into words, let alone verse. What he thinks and feels are beyond what he could describe with human language alone.
When words fail, music speaks, they say.
Or it might be that he's simply a coward who didn't have enough courage to tell the other what he really felt.
He finished the music with vehement vibrations and the room gradually fell quiet as echoes from the amplifier evanesced. When the studio was completely silent and it seemed that other six boys had been petrified some time during his performance, Fernando shifted his feet uncomfortably.
Then the first clapping sound came from Martin, and Agger was the second to move. He didn't clap or make any other sound, just walked straight to the blonde, huge smug grin on his face and it made the Spaniard's heart race so fast.
Agger had never smiled at him this genuinely ecstatic before.
"You did great," the Dane told him as his hand grabbed the strap and took the guitar off Fernando through his head for him. Other boys walked up to them and Agger turned around to face them, standing by the blonde's side like a guard.
"Well, that's impressive, I've never heard anyone play that song in this version before." A blond boy smirked. "I actually expected a hard rock, from the way ickle Danny coddles you." He glimpsed at Agger at that point, smirk hovering on his lips. "But I can see now that you're a classic type. Nice song choice, though. I'm Nick, by the way." He extended his hand and Fernando caught it for a shake.
Others' names were Christian, Raul and Simon. The last person who introduced himself was Martin, a skin-headed Slovak with tattoos fully-painted on his arms, just like Agger. "Your version's nice," he commented. "I noticed that Danny lent you his guitar. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't even let anyone lay a finger on it. You must be special to him."
Fernando blushed from that while Agger still looked good-natured. "Fuck off, Martin." The Slovak had eyed them suspiciously before walking away to his position in the group, taking his electric guitar from where he had put it against the wall. The others resumed preparing their instruments: Nick - drum, Christian - keyboard, Raul - another guitar, and Simon - lead vocals.
The band had six parts already, they didn't need another guitarist, or even a pianist since they had Christian. The Spaniard wondered which role he played in this league. Why did the Dane drag him here? He didn't belong to this place.
"We'll practice some songs for now. You can sit over there." Agger pointed to a bench at a wall, Fernando glanced at it then back to the Dane.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Just sit there and wait for me. Do your homework, maybe."
The blonde glared. "What? If I've already finished my business here, can I go?"
"To where? You'll come home with me anyway."
"Err, to play piano, or football? Why do I have to be here? You can call me when you finish." And why do I need to go home with you, exactly?
"I want you here," the Dane said simply. Fernando glared incredulously.
"Why? What for?"
"Just stay," he ordered then turned to flock with his friends. Fernando gaped at him, at a loss for words.
Eventually, he trudged to the bench and sat muddledly on. Pulling his homework out, the Spaniard tried his hardest to shut out all the noisy sounds, which was less than effective. After fifteen minutes, he abrogated the idea. Putting textbooks back in his bag, he sat with his chin in his hand, looking at the rockers performing some rock songs he didn't know. Simon's singing:
“I want to know your fear, from your feet to the back of your ears
When they raise the landing gear will your heart stay here?
If you could forgive me for being so brash, well you...
You could hit me or whip me, I'd savor each lash.”
He looked at Simon, then at Agger. The Dane's plucking the strings intensely - he's playing lead guitar. The blonde felt his stomach flip every time he gazed at the other boy playing electric guitar, the rampant look suited him very well and enhanced his mutinous character, it made him reek of primitive virility. Agger kept eyes on his instrument mostly, but after Fernando had watched him for a full minute, it seemed like the Danish boy sensed his stare so he looked up, their eyes caught.
“No more fighting. This is only a waste of our time.
'Cause soon we'll be leaving.
Will this strength still be mine?
I'll look out for you 'til I die, 'til I rot.
I'll remember you 'til I die, until I rot.”
Seriously, Fernando thought embitteredly, does this also have to be another love song?
***
"David."
Iker turned around at the sound and found Victoria standing there, textbooks in her arms and impatience in her eyes.
"Oh, hey," the English boy standing beside him greeted the girl. "How are you today?" Lame question indeed.
"I'm fine," Victoria said. "Would you come having lunch with me?"
David normally sat with his friends during lunch and Victoria with hers. She'd never bothered him except for dinner, until now.
"Umm, why?" The British asked guilelessly, Victoria suddenly looked furious.
"Because you're my boyfriend, that's why," she grumbled, and Iker almost tripped because of it. Victoria and David are a couple now? How? What? When? Where? Why didn’t David tell him? He felt his heart constrict, it made him nauseous.
"But I have to sit with my friends." That's typical David.
"You can sit with her," Iker blurted out, though he knew that 'David's friends' not meant only him. The Londoner turned to him.
"Why? Are you sure?" He flustered.
"Of course, I'm sure. You're her boyfriend, aren't you?" The Spaniard tasted sour in his mouth. He shouldn't have said that. Is he ready to know the answer? He wasn't so sure.
"Yeah," the English mumbled, didn't look the Spaniard in the eyes. His sudden discomposure was an answer enough and Iker felt his world crumbling down around him bit by bit.
He needed to get away from David as far as possible right now. "See you in class then," he muttered, setting off to the canteen without waiting for the Londoner's reply. David didn't follow him and when he arrived, he realized he had no appetite at all.
He turned around and stalked out of the building, to the lawn where the Spanish sun didn't shine anymore. Winter was arriving and everything in the world seemed dull, bleak and empty.
What did he expect, anyway? He knew from the start that this thing between them - whatever it was - was never meant to happen. He even helped David court Victoria in the first place and he should have apprehended by now that they're never meant to be. If there's something he hated the most, it would not be Victoria or David, it would be his heart.
Because it always betrayed him.
***
It didn't work like that. Gerard always knew it would never work like that.
Cesc doesn't like him, would never like him. Cesc liked girls, he had had two girlfriends before. Though he'd broken up with the last one a couple of years before and was now on some kinds of hiatus, Gerard knew the new girl would come eventually and what he could do would be just looking at them from afar with a heartache.
He couldn't keep on doing this because what he and Cesc felt weren't the same, he staggered in the confusing world, tumbled to who he really was, tripped over the surge of his inherent desire, until realizing he'd already fallen in love with Cesc. Not too late, quite too early, actually, seeing that one had understood who he really was and what he actually wanted since one was only twelve years old.
So he decided that he should move on, he couldn't live like this. It had been eating him up, killing him inside for four years now. He'd decided that he would drop a hint to Cesc first that he's bent, then he would date someone in front of everyone. Out of all the people he knew, Lionel Messi was his second-most favourite person in the world, of course his most favourite person was Cesc. He didn't care much what other people thought, there were loads of homosexual couples in this school and in this city, what he did care was Cesc's opinion regarding the issue. They'd never talked about this before and Gerard had no idea what Cesc thought, though he's quite sure that Cesc was straight, evidences be the two girlfriends he'd had, yet he would be ready to accept him for whatever he was.
What he hadn't expected was Robin van Persie.
The boy came out of nowhere, and Cesc didn't seem bothered just a bit by the idea of two boys getting together. It shocked Gerard, because he thought he knew what's in Cesc's head, he thought he understood him, he's his best friend after all.
But it appeared that he's wrong, he didn't understand a thing.
Still, that Cesc was gay didn't mean that they could be together. Even if Cesc wasn't with that Dutch, Gerard still insisted on them being apart, they're best friends for too long and their friendship was precious, too precious that Gerard wouldn't risk anything that would have a tiny chance in destroying it. They're better this way: friends forever, like Cesc had said.
He couldn't think of living a life without him.
So he chose Lionel and would stick to it. Lionel liked him enough, Gerard knew, and he liked Lionel enough, too. It's just that the fact about Cesc and Van Persie hit him very hard in the face. The notion angered him at first, then after some time, he'd realized that it's better to let Cesc go, he'd chosen this path himself since the day he'd asked Lionel out. He'd decided that they should be apart for a bit, not depended on each other's presence as much as before. He knew Cesc suffered, too, but he would cope with it eventually, just like their puppies. What more was that he didn't trust himself to control his thought to be 'just friends' when he's always this close to Cesc, always bantering and caring and touching one another. He needed some spaces between them, at least for now until his heart eventually comprehended that it couldn't think of Cesc Fàbregas that way.
So when Lionel Messi stepped in his house one day at the start of winter, Gerard asked without hesitation, "Lionel, are you free during the New Year’s hols? My family usually goes to Barcelona, we have relatives there, in case you'd like to come with us."
To be continued in Chapter 13.
.