One Day We Will Live In A World Where All Comics Are Free
Well, I didn’t make the same mistake about Free Comic Day as I did last year (so, no campaign outside Pentridge Prison to release the imprisoned comedians). I now know that the ‘comics’ referred to are ‘comic books’. So, there’d be no errors this year.
I discovered I was going to be in Canberra on the day so, wouldn’t be able to access my local Melbourne comic shops. But, I’d planned well. I’d used Google maps to search for comic shops around Canberra. And so, was ready.
At midnight I donned my balaclava and headed for the first comic store (Dee’s Comics in Belconnen). It was a simple matter to pick the lock using a nasal hair I’d been grooming for just this purpose. I entered the store, disabling the security camera with the remains of my flu, and then told the comics they were free.
Imagine my dejection to discover that not one of the comics was willing to take advantage of their new liberty. I’m not sure if it was fear of what awaited them or a complete lack of comprehension that it was possible for them to exist outside the confines of this “store” (and isn’t “store” a lovely euphemism for prison?) but the comics showed no interest in release.
Leaving the doors wide open I moved onto Impact Comics in Canberra. Perhaps, here the imprisoned comics would be more receptive to my assistance. But no. Even the ones that a physically carried onto the street showed no inclination to go further. They were content with being carried by the breeze or becoming embedded in the tires of the garbage truck.
It was disheartening but I will not give up. Perhaps it is only the Canberra comics that are so beaten down that they will allow the slavery they are indentured into to become their lot in life. To be sold by heartless owners who encase them in plastic with barely enough air to breathe.
Next year, things will be different. In the name of Free Comic Day, this I swear.