Comments | fenrischained: Sex, Drugs, and Edgar Allen Poe

fenrischained

Sex, Drugs, and Edgar Allen Poe - for brigits_flame

Jan 12, 2009 22:16

Title: Sex, Drugs, and Edgar Allen Poe
Genre: Horror?
Warnings: Adult themes and a hell of a lot of swearing.

Summary: There are many different sorts of demon. Nicholas Norton is currently coming face-to-face with a lot of them.

A/N: Written for the Week 2 January contest over at brigits_flame - the theme was 'Demons'.
Stupid school admin put me in isolation ( Read more... )

brigits_flame, horror, original fiction

Comments 23

qafan January 13 2009, 05:57:42 UTC

My eyes are about the size of moons. Poe would be proud! Have to admit, I'm a big Poe fan, myself. I've got a full collection of his stories, as a matter of fast. Red Death was pretty great. I think The Tell-Tale Heart was always my favorite. I love the psychology behind it.

AWESOME story.

fenrischained January 13 2009, 08:06:49 UTC

Wow. Moon-eyes must be uncomfortable. xD

To be honest, I like just about all of Poe's stuff (except Auguste Dupin). But the Masque of the Red Death's always been my favourite.

Thank you very much!

qafan January 13 2009, 21:34:55 UTC

Yes, we read that when I was still in high school, and if I remember correctly, that was another one that I was sitting there with my mouth on the floor. I love big twists like that, and Poe is definitely a master.

Isn't there one, also, about a butcher who murdered someone and sewed their skin to his face to try and steal his identity? It was a weird one and I don't remember much about it.

fenrischained January 14 2009, 08:07:45 UTC

If there is, I don't think I've read it. =/

cedarwolfsinger January 18 2009, 02:09:10 UTC

Fenris, this is awesome! Scary, blood-chilling, awesome. Sad though -- I really wanted Young Nick to triumph over the Old Nick... Well done! Good luck!

fenrischained January 18 2009, 09:38:00 UTC

Thanks, Cedar! You too.

(The comment has been removed)

fenrischained January 18 2009, 09:41:01 UTC

Thanks!
Good luck to you too, if you're in.

merthin January 18 2009, 05:29:54 UTC

IMHO Concrit: A good friend of mine told me, "Show, don't tell." You do a fair amount of that here. A great example: "Clenching his fists in his pockets, he hunched himself up, turning up the collar of his coat." I really like this line. It's showing me that he's cold, scared, and probably a little pissed, uhm, make that angry. (I know, daft Americans.)

A line that could possibly be made better by showing instead of telling: "But his laugh was high and frightened, and not at all amused." Consider something like, "But his laugh had all the humor of a burn-victim's dying shriek."

Something else I really enjoyed in this piece was the flitting of the words mimicking Nick's thoughts. It brought out his fear very nicely.

fenrischained January 18 2009, 17:31:33 UTC

Well, he's pissed off but not pissed, in English terms. Sound about right? xD Mum says I should put in an English -> American glossary.

I'll consider the whole 'show, don't tell thing' - thanks! And thanks for liking it!

intermezzo_poet January 19 2009, 03:02:34 UTC

Ooh... I certainly loved the "Poe" feel to this piece, and some of the description really added to the rising panic.

My favorite line: "But his laugh was high and frightened, and not at all amused."

Just the idea of his strangely shrill laughter, his panic... it was amazing.

I also loved the rant about daytime TV--bitter, yes, but HILARIOUS.

Nice work! :P

fenrischained January 19 2009, 08:09:36 UTC

Yeah... I actually considered editing the daytime TV bit out, but now I'm glad I didn't!

Glad you like it.