Challenge 83 - weakness

[selenay_x]

Title: Envy
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica/Star Trek Voyager
Characters: Roslin/Janeway
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Not mine
Wordcount:  200

Kathryn Janeway hoped she didn’t show her emotions as she watched the President. It had been a long time since someone had the potential to get that close. She was accustomed to her crew who maintained a certain distance

Comments

[kjaneway]

Mmm, yeah.

Captain Janeway's strength is often rather brittle, but it's Kathryn who breaks from it.

[ilthit]

What's very cool about this one is how you incorporated rank and the concept of equality - actually rather important things to consider if you want to write president romance of any sort. Captains tend to consider them masters of their worlds, as a ship is a community in itself, and presidents are leaders too, of a different kind of nation. So when you put a president on a ship, who's the boss? I suppose from that confusion could arise equality, which is sort of necessary for romance.

A nit I couldn't help but pick: it should probably be "Her crew were subordinate to her and, therefore, to her mind, off limits." or "Her crew were subordinate to her and therefore, to her mind, off limits." It's also usually written in-your-face, I think, as the expression is treated as a single adjective. Also self-awareness. Also, I need to stop now.

[radak]

*no words* *thinking hard*
You show well the difference between them. Laura is more open in a way. When the situation dictates she is able to show her human side, she has flaws, she has weaknesses. Janeway tries to be untouchable. She sometimes forgets that she is also a human beeing a woman.

[frogfrizz]

Hello good fan fic friend. Thanks so much for writing. I've been trying to keep in touch with the lot of you Janeway/Roslin readers/writers but unfortunately...I ran into some family problems. So commenting has been impossible. Nonetheless, I'd like to drop my bit of praise, because I love you for writing J/R fics and I hope that someone (ahem ahem) writes a longer fic. Mine is still in the works, still being chopped up...and I have university to think about. :( *mopes*

Your story, though, has been a breath of fresh air. It's great, how you've highlighted Laura's femininity and ruthlessness beside the Captain's own nuances as a leader. Ahhh, and the tension you built is yummy. Write more? Please do!

[projectcyborg]

ahhhhhhhh, I love when you bring up jealousy -- it's a revelation. you really capture Janeway's greatest hurdle and this core difference between them.