What I Wanna Be (The Devil Wears Prada, Emily/Serena)

[mousiebean]

Title: What I Wanna Be
Author: mousiebean
Recipient: theagonyofblank
Fandom: The Devil Wears Prada
Pairing: Emily/Serena, Emily/Andy tension
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1300
Disclaimer: I did not make these people up and therefore do not own them.
Summary: Emily hates the new girl.

Comments

[mousiebean]

Thank you! Yes, it did turn out rather sad, which almost came as a surprise because when I was first thinking this out I really thought it was going to be fluffy. But somehow, as I rewatched the movie and thought more about the characters, it morphed into... well, this. I just couldn't envision her as being comfortable in/happy with her own body, and so it turned darker than I had meant it to.

Honestly, I don't know this fandom very well either, so I don't know how pervasive this sort of portrayal is in fanon, either. I've read some fanfics here and there, but this is the first one I've written, and I'm not in any groups or on any boards or anything like that.

[pugglez]

wow...you've nailed emily's voice, good job. Sad and totally hot.

[mousiebean]

Thanks! ^_^

[perks123]

Very well done. I agree, it is rather sad. Emily, being one of my favorite characters, deserves so much more.

[mousiebean]

I was rewatching the movie and trying to figure out the dynamics between Emily and Serena and Emily and Andy, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt drawn to this type of portrayal: all the references to her starving herself, the way she pins all her hopes on Paris and getting these perfect clothes that will make her look beautiful... I was trying to find a way to make it fluffier, because, yeah, depressing :(, but somehow in my mind her character just couldn't let loose and be happy in her own skin. So it did turn out sad. I hope that's not a bad thing necessarily... :-S

[theagonyofblank]

Thank you! Thank you for writing Emily/Serena, with a bit of Emily/Andrea thrown into it! This was really nicely written - Emily's voice was perfect. I also really loved how you've portrayed Serena in this: from how she texts while they're still in bed to her boredom with Emily's constant mention of Andy. Like everyone else has said, it's a very sad story for Emily. She has conflicting thoughts and also doesn't exactly like herself, because in the end, she wants to be Serena and Andy at the same time. She envies Serena for her body, and envies Andy for daring to just be the way she is. Anyway, my point is: everything in this was very believable, and very real.

Thank you again!!

[mousiebean]

You're welcome! Though I do want to apologize for its being so sad in the first place -- I really did intend for it to be fluffier than this, but somehow it just kept heading in this direction. I hope that's okay by you and that you enjoyed it. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write Emily/Serena, in particular! They're a fun pairing, even if the story ultimately skewed sad. :)

[theagonyofblank]

Oops, I didn't mean to imply I didn't like the sadness, or anything like that - I loved every moment of this fic, and I love darkness as much as I love the fluffy, so it was perfect as it was! :)

[mousiebean]

Oh, no, you didn't imply that -- I just felt bad because I did read your author's notes, and I know you'd envisioned these two as being a bit fluffier than this. So I sort of felt bad that I went in a different direction. I am glad that you liked it as it turned out, though! :)

[somniesperus]

I think you've captured Emily really well here; she's so self-loathing and angry and sharp. This packs a lot of punch into a relatively short piece. Thanks for sharing it with us.