(no subject)
FemSlash07 story for nova25
Title: "Beautiful Jade"
Author: AngelicSinner
Fandom: Deadwood
Pairing: Joanie/Jane
Rated: PG-13 (mature themes)
Word Count: (Aprox) 1,350
Summery: Why Jane? Why not Charlie? Because Joanie's not a foolish little girl.
Disclaimer: Not mine, except in my dreams. No Copyright infringement intended nor executed with intent of the author or distributors.
Warning: Un-Beta'd! i'm sorry, but my computer is freaking out... i did the best i could given the circumstances.
Joanie isn’t a foolish girl. Some assume she must be, to have gotten where she is, but those were mainly due to circumstances outside of her control. The few people in this camp that know her, know that her problems lie in knowing too much or having seen too much.
They have almost nothing in common at first glance. Most people think their only connection is a friendship with Charlie Utter. But Joanie knew there was more than that. She could see it in the woman’s stagger, in her foul breath and dirty clothes. She’d even venture that poor Jane’s choice of profession, as yes - here was a woman, so rare are they, that chose who she became - was some kind of overflow of their sad similarities.
Joanie, who ended up here through the decisions of others, was a madam in a vacant structure save her companion. And Jane, who made her own choices, her own way in life, became an ill, mocked, drunk that would wake up covered in bruises and would be gladder for it to not know where the hell they came from.
They had their strength in common. And even shared some weaknesses. Both had survived horrible things, being a whore Joanie had learned to pick up on it like a hound, and she might even venture to guess that perhaps there were some things so bad that even Jane had forgotten them. It would certainly explain the bottle Jane considered her primary residence.
Joanie knew she’d taken a shine to Maddie out of a kind of hero-worship. A woman, especially in their line of work, who’d never been afraid of a man? That was certainly admirable. But she also knew how Maddie was - angry, bitter, pushed beyond her limits and fed up. That’s why she’d done what she done, bringing that poor girl to this awful town for Wolcott. Wanted to turn the ‘forgivable sins’ of a man to a leash she could use to finally gain back some control. It hadn’t worked.
Maddie had been so brave, she’d neglected the fact that Wolcott was indeed a man. Faster, stronger than her, so relieved and terrified that her plan might actually work she almost missed her own death. That must have been what happened, that must have been how it had gone. Maddie was a good Madam, could foresee disaster like an Oracle and that’s the only way it could have gone. Alone, and overpowered physically by a merciless man. They all knew that burden, to one result or another.
Jane was different. She was certainly weak, and made weaker by the flaws she knew she couldn’t hide. This made her cautious, and certainly spoke to her lovability. Wild Bill, a somewhat respectable man had been her dearest friend, and Charlie Utter was certainly upstanding and polite. And they had loved her, despite her smell, and dirty clothes, drinking and a mouth fowler than the mud on the thoroughfare.
When they first met, Joanie was welcome for the opportunity to not be alone, despite the company. After a minute or two, she’d warmed to the abruptness of a conversation between strangers with woman who could barely stand. When she woke the next morning, after her confrontation with Wolcott and saw Jane passed out, gun in hand, in some odd attempt at keeping watch with her eyes closed and gone with liquor… She’d guessed perhaps this was some drunken logic Jane had succumbed to in the night. But the other woman’s awkwardness at even just the suggestion of coming inside and staying a while longer, she knew Jane had liked her too.
She also learned she liked Jane sober. It certainly made her more brave than when she was drunk. When she was drunk all she had was liquid courage. She remembers when Mose was brought into the Chez Ami, barely alive, and Jane didn’t blink. Came up with a plan for how to make him most comfortable when he was so large he was damn near impossible to lift.
What she remembered most was when Cochrane said that surgery wasn’t worth the effort, and Jane called him on it. And when he was preoccupied with poor William Bullock, she brought him back to the task of saving a life that still could be saved.
In those moments just before Mose woke again, she loved the way Jane smiled at her, leaning against the support beam. Con and Leon might as well have been back at the Bella Union for all the notice they took of the exchange. She could hear Jane sighing quietly to herself with almost every breath, gaze slightly down-cast, as though soberly aware of her happiness in such an odd occasion. Her voice had been soft and sweet when she saw Mose stirring awake. He just weezenly begged for death to overtake him.
“Drink it!” She threatened him playfully, holding out a glass of water and laudanum, stopping to grin over at Joanie. So she scooted over, kneeling on the floor, and took the large man’s hand, wanting to be brave even in the face of all the dried blood on his clothes. Jane looked down at her, still smiling, still sober, and called her a beautiful angel without using either of those words.
When Joanie smiled back, showing she knew what Jane’d meant, the field nurse’s grin didn’t dim. She just took control, sent people on their way, and made sure life moved along as it was meant to for the remainder of the day. Which filled Joanie with an odd kind of hope and respect, as she knew that usually Jane had trouble controlling a single day in her own life - let alone the lives of others. She thought perhaps things would get better from there.
She liked living with Jane, though it was at times kind of like living with a petulant child. Afraid of baths, afraid of dresses, highly temperamental, very protective, and greatly shaped by the opinions of others. Though to this very day Joanie isn’t sure why Jane cold-cocked that man at the Ellsworths’ wedding; either because she needed to release some tension from her anger at wearing a dress, or because the mad had been ogling Joanie in hers. But she’d come to love her, and to need her around.
She knew she was making Jane’s drinking problem worse.
Jane drank more out of shame. Joanie had a feeling that shame and liquor had a long history within the bull-driver’s life. Whatever was between them certainly brought out new plains of it. Shame for feeling that it was wrong, for feeling that it wasn’t wrong, for feeling it wasn’t but being told it was, of Joanie being threatened with eviction because of their connection, of feeling like she was bringing Joanie down. Shame in feeling that she wasn’t good enough to have this ‘bad’ thing, with someone the camp and her friends had come to care about. Someone Jane herself had come to care a very great deal about.
It was obvious that Jane wasn’t used to loving someone who was technically not stronger than her. She remembers Jane running away scared from Cy, but getting Mose to help where she felt she couldn’t. And she was thankful for Jane’s epiphany. She was thankful for Jane keeping her eyes open that time.
But Joanie isn’t a foolish girl. Both are things she hasn’t been in a long while. She knows this won’t solve any of her problems, not even her loneliness. She knows she can’t save Jane, especially if Jane doesn’t think there’s anything in her worth saving. But this is a choice that she has the chance to make. To be alone with someone who is also so painfully lonely, and someone who loves her - despite knowing what the hell love could possibly mean.
Joanie knows they’re both weak, but they compliment each other well. Her nice clothes and attractive manner, Jane’s hard edges and durability made her feel like what one could not get through alone they both could ford together. So she'll hold her hand, and walk through the thoroughfare with her, holding her up, and Jane will stay with her. She'll make the choice to stay around, showing that Joanie is worth something beyond what a man might pay to be with her for however short a while. She's worth the time of a very rare woman, who might chose to do anything and choses to keep her safe.
~VixR~
Hope this at least akin to what you were hoping for?
~AngelicSinner~
Title: "Beautiful Jade"
Author: AngelicSinner
Fandom: Deadwood
Pairing: Joanie/Jane
Rated: PG-13 (mature themes)
Word Count: (Aprox) 1,350
Summery: Why Jane? Why not Charlie? Because Joanie's not a foolish little girl.
Disclaimer: Not mine, except in my dreams. No Copyright infringement intended nor executed with intent of the author or distributors.
Warning: Un-Beta'd! i'm sorry, but my computer is freaking out... i did the best i could given the circumstances.
Joanie isn’t a foolish girl. Some assume she must be, to have gotten where she is, but those were mainly due to circumstances outside of her control. The few people in this camp that know her, know that her problems lie in knowing too much or having seen too much.
They have almost nothing in common at first glance. Most people think their only connection is a friendship with Charlie Utter. But Joanie knew there was more than that. She could see it in the woman’s stagger, in her foul breath and dirty clothes. She’d even venture that poor Jane’s choice of profession, as yes - here was a woman, so rare are they, that chose who she became - was some kind of overflow of their sad similarities.
Joanie, who ended up here through the decisions of others, was a madam in a vacant structure save her companion. And Jane, who made her own choices, her own way in life, became an ill, mocked, drunk that would wake up covered in bruises and would be gladder for it to not know where the hell they came from.
They had their strength in common. And even shared some weaknesses. Both had survived horrible things, being a whore Joanie had learned to pick up on it like a hound, and she might even venture to guess that perhaps there were some things so bad that even Jane had forgotten them. It would certainly explain the bottle Jane considered her primary residence.
Joanie knew she’d taken a shine to Maddie out of a kind of hero-worship. A woman, especially in their line of work, who’d never been afraid of a man? That was certainly admirable. But she also knew how Maddie was - angry, bitter, pushed beyond her limits and fed up. That’s why she’d done what she done, bringing that poor girl to this awful town for Wolcott. Wanted to turn the ‘forgivable sins’ of a man to a leash she could use to finally gain back some control. It hadn’t worked.
Maddie had been so brave, she’d neglected the fact that Wolcott was indeed a man. Faster, stronger than her, so relieved and terrified that her plan might actually work she almost missed her own death. That must have been what happened, that must have been how it had gone. Maddie was a good Madam, could foresee disaster like an Oracle and that’s the only way it could have gone. Alone, and overpowered physically by a merciless man. They all knew that burden, to one result or another.
Jane was different. She was certainly weak, and made weaker by the flaws she knew she couldn’t hide. This made her cautious, and certainly spoke to her lovability. Wild Bill, a somewhat respectable man had been her dearest friend, and Charlie Utter was certainly upstanding and polite. And they had loved her, despite her smell, and dirty clothes, drinking and a mouth fowler than the mud on the thoroughfare.
When they first met, Joanie was welcome for the opportunity to not be alone, despite the company. After a minute or two, she’d warmed to the abruptness of a conversation between strangers with woman who could barely stand. When she woke the next morning, after her confrontation with Wolcott and saw Jane passed out, gun in hand, in some odd attempt at keeping watch with her eyes closed and gone with liquor… She’d guessed perhaps this was some drunken logic Jane had succumbed to in the night. But the other woman’s awkwardness at even just the suggestion of coming inside and staying a while longer, she knew Jane had liked her too.
She also learned she liked Jane sober. It certainly made her more brave than when she was drunk. When she was drunk all she had was liquid courage. She remembers when Mose was brought into the Chez Ami, barely alive, and Jane didn’t blink. Came up with a plan for how to make him most comfortable when he was so large he was damn near impossible to lift.
What she remembered most was when Cochrane said that surgery wasn’t worth the effort, and Jane called him on it. And when he was preoccupied with poor William Bullock, she brought him back to the task of saving a life that still could be saved.
In those moments just before Mose woke again, she loved the way Jane smiled at her, leaning against the support beam. Con and Leon might as well have been back at the Bella Union for all the notice they took of the exchange. She could hear Jane sighing quietly to herself with almost every breath, gaze slightly down-cast, as though soberly aware of her happiness in such an odd occasion. Her voice had been soft and sweet when she saw Mose stirring awake. He just weezenly begged for death to overtake him.
“Drink it!” She threatened him playfully, holding out a glass of water and laudanum, stopping to grin over at Joanie. So she scooted over, kneeling on the floor, and took the large man’s hand, wanting to be brave even in the face of all the dried blood on his clothes. Jane looked down at her, still smiling, still sober, and called her a beautiful angel without using either of those words.
When Joanie smiled back, showing she knew what Jane’d meant, the field nurse’s grin didn’t dim. She just took control, sent people on their way, and made sure life moved along as it was meant to for the remainder of the day. Which filled Joanie with an odd kind of hope and respect, as she knew that usually Jane had trouble controlling a single day in her own life - let alone the lives of others. She thought perhaps things would get better from there.
She liked living with Jane, though it was at times kind of like living with a petulant child. Afraid of baths, afraid of dresses, highly temperamental, very protective, and greatly shaped by the opinions of others. Though to this very day Joanie isn’t sure why Jane cold-cocked that man at the Ellsworths’ wedding; either because she needed to release some tension from her anger at wearing a dress, or because the mad had been ogling Joanie in hers. But she’d come to love her, and to need her around.
She knew she was making Jane’s drinking problem worse.
Jane drank more out of shame. Joanie had a feeling that shame and liquor had a long history within the bull-driver’s life. Whatever was between them certainly brought out new plains of it. Shame for feeling that it was wrong, for feeling that it wasn’t wrong, for feeling it wasn’t but being told it was, of Joanie being threatened with eviction because of their connection, of feeling like she was bringing Joanie down. Shame in feeling that she wasn’t good enough to have this ‘bad’ thing, with someone the camp and her friends had come to care about. Someone Jane herself had come to care a very great deal about.
It was obvious that Jane wasn’t used to loving someone who was technically not stronger than her. She remembers Jane running away scared from Cy, but getting Mose to help where she felt she couldn’t. And she was thankful for Jane’s epiphany. She was thankful for Jane keeping her eyes open that time.
But Joanie isn’t a foolish girl. Both are things she hasn’t been in a long while. She knows this won’t solve any of her problems, not even her loneliness. She knows she can’t save Jane, especially if Jane doesn’t think there’s anything in her worth saving. But this is a choice that she has the chance to make. To be alone with someone who is also so painfully lonely, and someone who loves her - despite knowing what the hell love could possibly mean.
Joanie knows they’re both weak, but they compliment each other well. Her nice clothes and attractive manner, Jane’s hard edges and durability made her feel like what one could not get through alone they both could ford together. So she'll hold her hand, and walk through the thoroughfare with her, holding her up, and Jane will stay with her. She'll make the choice to stay around, showing that Joanie is worth something beyond what a man might pay to be with her for however short a while. She's worth the time of a very rare woman, who might chose to do anything and choses to keep her safe.
~VixR~
Hope this at least akin to what you were hoping for?
~AngelicSinner~