Three First Times [South of Nowhere, Spencer/Ashley]
Title: Three First Times
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Author: Bastet/sweetvalleyslut (website)
For: chudley_cannon
Rated: PG
Length: ~1200
Spoilers: Up through 1x11, the season finale.
Warnings: Excessive schmoopiness, maybe.
Three First Times
1.
Ashley was still a little gun-shy about holding hands at school, so Spencer did it as much as she could, because it was fun to be the one freaking Ashley out, for a change.
“New ring?” she said, one Monday, gripping Ashley’s wrist lifting, pretending to examine it carefully.
Ashley stopped the movement of her arm, but didn’t pull away. “I’m not wearing any rings,” she said pointedly.
“Guess I must be losing my eyesight.”
“Or your *mind,*” Ashley hissed, gesturing around the crowded hallway, jerking Spencer along with her. “It’s not that I’m worried about anyone finding out that I’m gay--”
Spencer grinned. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s old news at this point.”
“--but you don’t need to deal with everyone thinking you’re a freak, too.”
Rolling her eyes, Spencer slipped her fingers more securely through Ashley’s and started dragging her down the hall. “And that news is just as old, since most people think I’m a freak just for talking to you. If I cared, I probably wouldn’t have become friends with you.”
Ashley’s lips were fighting a real smile now; she looked embarrassed but mollified. “Yeah, but seriously. Holding hands? How cliché can you get?”
“Maybe I’m afraid of losing my way in the crowd,” said Spencer said innocently. It was lucky Ashley turned to glare at her just then, or she would have seen the football player blocking the door of the bio lab give them a dirty look. Spencer smiled her sweetest smile at him and kept walking.
“Right. Afraid. That’s the exact word I’d use to describe you, maybe after ‘insane.’”
“Or, maybe I want everyone to know you’re my girlfriend,” Spencer said, and then felt something in her stomach drop. They hadn’t actually said that yet, and it felt--bold, to say it out loud like that. Whatever. She was sick of being afraid. “You got a problem with that?”
Ashley kept her face turned down, but Spencer could see the brightness of her eyes. “So I’m your girlfriend now?”
Spencer kept her voice and expression as casual as she could manage. “I think so, yeah.”
“Huh.” After an unpleasantly long pause, Ashley looked up at her again. “So when do you give me your pin?”
2.
“I don’t believe you talked me into playing hooky from church,” Spencer said, scanning the crowd with a hand shielding her eyes from the sun. “Again.”
Ashley squeezed the fingers of her other hand. “I’m pretty sure God won’t mind. She understands the lure of drag queens. Besides, for my people, this is a religious observance.”
“I think you’re confused about the meaning of the word ‘religious.’” Spencer shuddered as the eightieth pair of huge fake breasts that morning made its way past her. “And possibly of the word ‘lure.’”
“Oh, come on. You could stand to have your cultural horizons broadened a little.”
The group going past them now was singing “Going to the Chapel” and Spencer felt herself grin. People were cheering around them, from the windows of the buildings on either side of the street, and even though she hadn’t quite figured out where she fell on the rainbow spectrum, it was nice to feel like a part of something so positive. “I guess it is a little like church, in a way,” she conceded. “Figures you only go once a year.”
“First time, actually.” The sun caught Ashley’s earrings and black curls as she turned her head, keeping her eyes on the Dykes on Bikes, her chin up in the way that Spencer had come to think of as vulnerable.
“Right, because you’re so lacking in gay pride.”
Ashley twisted her wrist away a little, uncomfortable. “Well, I was still with Aiden the year before last,” she said, and they had a moment of tandem eye-rolling in memory of Aiden. “And I was always proud to be who I am, once I got it figured out, but never--proud of whoever I was with, you know?” Her voice was low, and in the tumult of the crowd Spencer was surprised she could hear it at all, but there was solidity behind what she was saying, even though she was still looking across the street.
“Oh,” Spencer said, and grinned what she had come to think of as her Ashley Makes Me Look Stupid grin, and sometimes when they were around other people her How Can Anyone Not Tell? grin. When she caught Ashley sneaking her a nervous glance she laughed right out loud, and tugged her closer, not so much to kiss as to press their smiles together.
But then Ashley breathed in a little, relieved, and brought her hand up to Spencer’s cheek. They kissed for a few seconds like there was no one else around, and Spencer could totally feel the people next to them smiling, too.
3.
“I--don’t know what I’m doing,” Spencer blurted. Probably not the best time, because Ashley’s hand was edging up under her shirt again. She and Ashley had been kissing a lot lately, so much that it was starting to affect her GPA, but it was pretty strictly PG-rated. Unless you counted the prickles that went right down her spine every time she brushed Ashley’s bare skin, and the noises Ashley made, which were definitely worth at least an R.
This was the third night in a row that Ashley had made some kind of move towards second base--just her fingers skating up against Spencer’s side and belly, skittering a little before settling more firmly. Barely moving after that, though yesterday Spencer had wriggled a little, shocked at herself by wordlessly trying to get Ashley to move higher, even if the idea of where that might lead scared her like crazy.
Ashley pulled back right away to look her in the eye. “That’s okay.”
“I mean--tell me if I’m screwing something up.”
“You won’t,” Ashley murmured, cupping Spencer’s cheek. “I don’t--I like you. We can do whatever makes you comfortable.”
“Oh,” Spencer said, and flushed. After a minute, she added, “That’s…not what I meant.”
“Okay.” Ashley sat up, and Spencer felt cold and uncomfortable without her weight. “What did you mean?”
“Can you--do you--” She took a deep breath. “If you wanted to--um. All right. This isn’t working.”
She could see Ashley trying and failing to make her face blank. “Do you want to leave?”
“No! Just…kiss me again, okay?” She cupped the back of Ashley’s head and pulled her down again, and they kissed, sloppy and sweet. After a minute Ashley settled her hand on Spencer’s hip and didn’t move it. Spencer nipped at Ashley’s lips, slid their tongues together, and Ashley let out a sharp gasp, her body jerking against Spencer’s like it was out of her control.
And, okay, that was just about all she could take. Spencer made herself lift her hand, and moved it as smoothly as she could up the front of Ashley’s shirt, dragging her thumb in a line under Ashley’s breast. “Okay?” she whispered.
“Oh *god* yes,” Ashley said. “Thought you’d never ask.” Spencer was all ready to make fun of her, but then she slung her leg over Spencer’s thighs, pulling their hips closer, and slipped her own hand back up under Spencer’s shirt. She could bust Ashley on being a total wuss later, Spencer decided, and set out to find out what other noises Ashley could make.