Help Me Make It Through The Night - Harry Potter, Cho/Fleur
Title: Help Me Make It Through The Night
Authour: joanne_c
Pairing: Cho Chang/Fleur Delacour
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: THe night after the third task is completed.
Word count: 1. 600
Recipient: tl_dr
Summary: I don't care what's right or wrong, I don't try to understand, let the devil take tomorrow, lord tonight I need a friend.
Title, summary and inspiration from Kris Kristofferson's song.
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It was simply impossible to believe.
Cedric couldn't be dead. This pain wasn't real.
Cho wanted this to be true, but deep inside, she knew. She'd seen him. Seen him... dead. Lying so still on the ground.
She'd wanted to go to him. But his father was there, and by then everyone had been told to stay in their seats. Oh, she could have made her way down, but if she'd done that, she would have had to face the reality, and she hadn't been - still wasn't - ready to admit that he was really dead.
She'd been given a room to herself, to allow her to cry in peace she presumed. She really wished she could cry. Could get past this awful knot of tension in her chest.
Sitting against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, all Cho could feel was a bleak, cold despair. She felt like she would never sleep again. She'd never have Cedric's arms around her again, or hear his voice whisper her name. Did she really have to add crying to that? Would it make her any less devastated? Any more likely to be able to face the world? She didn't think so.
When Cho heard a knock at the door, she was tempted to yell "Go away!" It wasn't like she couldn't get away with it. But instead, she whispered, probably barely loudly enough to be heard, "come in."
Her face was turned away from the door, so she didn't even know who had come to see her at first, but she turned, and simply couldn't hide the expression of shock when she saw Fleur Delacour standing hesitantly just inside the door. She barely knew the French girl, had talked to her a little at the social occasions involved in the Triwizard Championship, but she was certainly not someone Cho expected to see now. "What can I do for you?" she asked politely.
"May I sit down?" Fleur asked, in lightly accented French.
"Of course," Cho replied. She was very curious as to why Fleur was here.
As Fleur sat, Cho noticed her hair was pulled back by a soft blue satin ribbon. She had no idea why she noticed that, or that the shadows were flickering on the wall. A flicker of relief moves through her mind as she realises that Fleur hasn't said she's sorry yet. Though she had earlier, of course. "Fleur, what are you doing here?" Cho asked.
"I am not sure," Fleur answered. "I just... thought maybe you would like some company."
"Surely you have someone else you could be spending this time with?" Cho asked softly. "Someone to hold you in his arms and tell you that he's glad you are alive?" Her voice chokes slightly on the last few words.
"But who is going to hold you and tell you that?" Fleur asked gently. Even though she didn't add that Cedric was dead, Cho heard it.
"He's gone," she said, firmly.
"But you don't have to be alone," Fleur said. "Why are you closing yourself off in here? I can tell it is not to cry, which would be understandable."
"Maybe I've already cried," Cho responded, a touch of defensiveness in her tone. "Or maybe I'm sick of people thinking I should have."
"There is no 'should' in mourning," Fleur said quietly. "We all must mourn and find our way through in our own way."
"You've lost someone," Cho said, knowing it was true. "You do understand."
"I have," Fleur nodded. "And maybe I can help you. When I lost my mother, there was no one to be there for me. I had to be strong for Gabrielle and my father. But I have been there for others. Held them through that first night. Helped them know they were not alone. I would like to do that for you," she said.
If she'd been capable of it, Cho would have smiled at that. Instead she speaks. "That's a lovely thing for you to want to do. How could I refuse?" she asked. Because she knew she couldn't. She also knew she didn't want to, she understood what Fleur was offering. Comfort and friendship.
"Perhaps we could sit on the bed?" Fleur suggested. "It would be more comfortable."
Cho nodded and pulled the covers down, arranging the pillows so they could sit and lean back on them. "Fleur, thank you," she said quietly as she relaxed against the soft pillows, watching as Fleur sat beside her. "I don't think I can cry," she whispered.
"Sometimes it doesn't happen the first night," Fleur replied. "Sometimes it just takes a little while. Don't force it. It will happen when you are ready."
"So many people have wondered why I don't cry,' Cho said. "They don't seem to understand that right now there's a knot of pain in my chest that's more than tears. More than screaming that Cedric's dead. It's not ready to move yet, but when it is, that's when I'll scream and cry. That's when I'll do what people expect of me."
"You should never do that," Fleur didn't quite smile. "You should do what feels right for you. Let the devil take the next moment. In the moment you should follow what feels right."
Without a second's thought, Cho put her arms around Fleur and hugged her. "I think I like that idea," she said as she nestled against Fleur. It felt incredibly good to hold someone. "Fleur," she looked up at her, "thank you for this. Thank you for holding me."
"But it is you who is holding me," Fleur pointed out, though her arms did go around Cho. For a moment, Cho just enjoyed the feel of the other girl's arms around her.
"I didn't realise how sad it was to be alone," Cho whispered, her head pillowed on Fleur's shoulder. "Until I wasn't any more." She touched Fleur's skin softly, rubbing the side of her neck. "Fleur?"
"Yes?" Fleur looked at her.
"Remember what you said about letting the devil take the next moment?" Cho said.
"Yes?" Fleur looked a little puzzled.
Taking a deep breath, Cho pressed a soft kiss to the patch of skin on Fleur's neck that she'd been rubbing a few moments earlier. She had no idea why she had suddenly had the urge to kiss Fleur, but she wasn't about to throw the chance away. If she knew anything now, she knew that not taking a chance on something could lead to endless regret.
"I... Cho," Fleur looked at her, eyes warm.
"Yes?" Cho asked, moving closer, kissing Fleur's lips this time. "Let the devil take the next moment, Fleur, or tomorrow. Whatever. I'm taking this moment. Doing what I want to do in it."
"But why? Is it that you miss him? Or that you want to put it out of your mind?"
"No," Cho said. "Well there are elements of those things. But no, the reason I kissed you was because I wanted to. And if I hadn't, I might not have got to do it. And that would be a bad thing."
"Have you ever wanted to do that before with a girl?" Fleur asked.
"Not enough to do it," Cho answered. "I love Cedric," she said, not even realising that she had used the present tense. "But I have wondered..."
"I don't understand," Fleur said. "I mean I have..."
"Don't try to understand," Cho said. "Just let it happen, let me take comfort in you like you offered. Let me kiss you, touch you maybe."
"You can do whatever you want," Fleur replied. "Just so long as it is what you want."
"It is," Cho nodded and reached up to take the ribbon out of Fleur's hair, watching as the other girl shook her hair loose and let it fall over her shoulders. "I don't know why I want to look at you this way, touch you. But I'm not going to stop," she said.
"And I am not going to start," Fleur answered. "This is for you. You must do what you want."
"I can live with that," Cho replied as she kissed Fleur again. "I'd like... just this. Kissing and touching. Can we have that?"
"We can have whatever you want," Fleur replied.
"Except that you won't touch me?" Cho pouted, just a little.
"I did not say that," Fleur answered. "I will, but this is for you. You must explore me first. And then, if you wish, I will touch you."
"Ah," Cho smiled. "I understand." Her fingers moved under Fleur's nightgown, stroking her thighs softly.
Fleur sighed and leaned back, opening herself for Cho's explorations.
Cho continued until Fleur cried out her name.
"Thank you," Cho whispered, kissing Fleur softly. "Now would you... for me?"
Fleur smiled wickedly and began to stroke Cho's skin. "It would be my pleasure," she answered.
"No," Cho gasped as Fleur's fingers moved wickedly. "I'm sure it will be... oh... mine."
She knew nothing but endless, bright pleasure until she cried Fleur's name and collapsed onto the pillows.
And that was when she started to cry, knowing that she would never again know this with Cedric. That it had all been lost, and she was alone.
Only she wasn't, soft warm arms wrapped around her and held her as she sobbed. And she knew Fleur was there and it was, if not all right, at least she was not alone.
The next morning, Fleur left Cho, with a soft kiss and a smile.
Cho wondered if she would ever see her again.
FINIS
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Authour: joanne_c
Pairing: Cho Chang/Fleur Delacour
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13
Timeline: THe night after the third task is completed.
Word count: 1. 600
Recipient: tl_dr
Summary: I don't care what's right or wrong, I don't try to understand, let the devil take tomorrow, lord tonight I need a friend.
Title, summary and inspiration from Kris Kristofferson's song.
*******************************************************
It was simply impossible to believe.
Cedric couldn't be dead. This pain wasn't real.
Cho wanted this to be true, but deep inside, she knew. She'd seen him. Seen him... dead. Lying so still on the ground.
She'd wanted to go to him. But his father was there, and by then everyone had been told to stay in their seats. Oh, she could have made her way down, but if she'd done that, she would have had to face the reality, and she hadn't been - still wasn't - ready to admit that he was really dead.
She'd been given a room to herself, to allow her to cry in peace she presumed. She really wished she could cry. Could get past this awful knot of tension in her chest.
Sitting against the wall, knees pulled up to her chest, all Cho could feel was a bleak, cold despair. She felt like she would never sleep again. She'd never have Cedric's arms around her again, or hear his voice whisper her name. Did she really have to add crying to that? Would it make her any less devastated? Any more likely to be able to face the world? She didn't think so.
When Cho heard a knock at the door, she was tempted to yell "Go away!" It wasn't like she couldn't get away with it. But instead, she whispered, probably barely loudly enough to be heard, "come in."
Her face was turned away from the door, so she didn't even know who had come to see her at first, but she turned, and simply couldn't hide the expression of shock when she saw Fleur Delacour standing hesitantly just inside the door. She barely knew the French girl, had talked to her a little at the social occasions involved in the Triwizard Championship, but she was certainly not someone Cho expected to see now. "What can I do for you?" she asked politely.
"May I sit down?" Fleur asked, in lightly accented French.
"Of course," Cho replied. She was very curious as to why Fleur was here.
As Fleur sat, Cho noticed her hair was pulled back by a soft blue satin ribbon. She had no idea why she noticed that, or that the shadows were flickering on the wall. A flicker of relief moves through her mind as she realises that Fleur hasn't said she's sorry yet. Though she had earlier, of course. "Fleur, what are you doing here?" Cho asked.
"I am not sure," Fleur answered. "I just... thought maybe you would like some company."
"Surely you have someone else you could be spending this time with?" Cho asked softly. "Someone to hold you in his arms and tell you that he's glad you are alive?" Her voice chokes slightly on the last few words.
"But who is going to hold you and tell you that?" Fleur asked gently. Even though she didn't add that Cedric was dead, Cho heard it.
"He's gone," she said, firmly.
"But you don't have to be alone," Fleur said. "Why are you closing yourself off in here? I can tell it is not to cry, which would be understandable."
"Maybe I've already cried," Cho responded, a touch of defensiveness in her tone. "Or maybe I'm sick of people thinking I should have."
"There is no 'should' in mourning," Fleur said quietly. "We all must mourn and find our way through in our own way."
"You've lost someone," Cho said, knowing it was true. "You do understand."
"I have," Fleur nodded. "And maybe I can help you. When I lost my mother, there was no one to be there for me. I had to be strong for Gabrielle and my father. But I have been there for others. Held them through that first night. Helped them know they were not alone. I would like to do that for you," she said.
If she'd been capable of it, Cho would have smiled at that. Instead she speaks. "That's a lovely thing for you to want to do. How could I refuse?" she asked. Because she knew she couldn't. She also knew she didn't want to, she understood what Fleur was offering. Comfort and friendship.
"Perhaps we could sit on the bed?" Fleur suggested. "It would be more comfortable."
Cho nodded and pulled the covers down, arranging the pillows so they could sit and lean back on them. "Fleur, thank you," she said quietly as she relaxed against the soft pillows, watching as Fleur sat beside her. "I don't think I can cry," she whispered.
"Sometimes it doesn't happen the first night," Fleur replied. "Sometimes it just takes a little while. Don't force it. It will happen when you are ready."
"So many people have wondered why I don't cry,' Cho said. "They don't seem to understand that right now there's a knot of pain in my chest that's more than tears. More than screaming that Cedric's dead. It's not ready to move yet, but when it is, that's when I'll scream and cry. That's when I'll do what people expect of me."
"You should never do that," Fleur didn't quite smile. "You should do what feels right for you. Let the devil take the next moment. In the moment you should follow what feels right."
Without a second's thought, Cho put her arms around Fleur and hugged her. "I think I like that idea," she said as she nestled against Fleur. It felt incredibly good to hold someone. "Fleur," she looked up at her, "thank you for this. Thank you for holding me."
"But it is you who is holding me," Fleur pointed out, though her arms did go around Cho. For a moment, Cho just enjoyed the feel of the other girl's arms around her.
"I didn't realise how sad it was to be alone," Cho whispered, her head pillowed on Fleur's shoulder. "Until I wasn't any more." She touched Fleur's skin softly, rubbing the side of her neck. "Fleur?"
"Yes?" Fleur looked at her.
"Remember what you said about letting the devil take the next moment?" Cho said.
"Yes?" Fleur looked a little puzzled.
Taking a deep breath, Cho pressed a soft kiss to the patch of skin on Fleur's neck that she'd been rubbing a few moments earlier. She had no idea why she had suddenly had the urge to kiss Fleur, but she wasn't about to throw the chance away. If she knew anything now, she knew that not taking a chance on something could lead to endless regret.
"I... Cho," Fleur looked at her, eyes warm.
"Yes?" Cho asked, moving closer, kissing Fleur's lips this time. "Let the devil take the next moment, Fleur, or tomorrow. Whatever. I'm taking this moment. Doing what I want to do in it."
"But why? Is it that you miss him? Or that you want to put it out of your mind?"
"No," Cho said. "Well there are elements of those things. But no, the reason I kissed you was because I wanted to. And if I hadn't, I might not have got to do it. And that would be a bad thing."
"Have you ever wanted to do that before with a girl?" Fleur asked.
"Not enough to do it," Cho answered. "I love Cedric," she said, not even realising that she had used the present tense. "But I have wondered..."
"I don't understand," Fleur said. "I mean I have..."
"Don't try to understand," Cho said. "Just let it happen, let me take comfort in you like you offered. Let me kiss you, touch you maybe."
"You can do whatever you want," Fleur replied. "Just so long as it is what you want."
"It is," Cho nodded and reached up to take the ribbon out of Fleur's hair, watching as the other girl shook her hair loose and let it fall over her shoulders. "I don't know why I want to look at you this way, touch you. But I'm not going to stop," she said.
"And I am not going to start," Fleur answered. "This is for you. You must do what you want."
"I can live with that," Cho replied as she kissed Fleur again. "I'd like... just this. Kissing and touching. Can we have that?"
"We can have whatever you want," Fleur replied.
"Except that you won't touch me?" Cho pouted, just a little.
"I did not say that," Fleur answered. "I will, but this is for you. You must explore me first. And then, if you wish, I will touch you."
"Ah," Cho smiled. "I understand." Her fingers moved under Fleur's nightgown, stroking her thighs softly.
Fleur sighed and leaned back, opening herself for Cho's explorations.
Cho continued until Fleur cried out her name.
"Thank you," Cho whispered, kissing Fleur softly. "Now would you... for me?"
Fleur smiled wickedly and began to stroke Cho's skin. "It would be my pleasure," she answered.
"No," Cho gasped as Fleur's fingers moved wickedly. "I'm sure it will be... oh... mine."
She knew nothing but endless, bright pleasure until she cried Fleur's name and collapsed onto the pillows.
And that was when she started to cry, knowing that she would never again know this with Cedric. That it had all been lost, and she was alone.
Only she wasn't, soft warm arms wrapped around her and held her as she sobbed. And she knew Fleur was there and it was, if not all right, at least she was not alone.
The next morning, Fleur left Cho, with a soft kiss and a smile.
Cho wondered if she would ever see her again.
FINIS
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