The idea of "appropriate dress"

[squinting_kitty]

This topic is also taken from dysgr8mystake's recent post here. What I have to say (and ask) is also a bit different than the thread chreebomb started. (She is primarily concerned about whether using the privilege of attractiveness is justified.) I, however, am having issues with this notion of "appropriate dress."

This is an excerpt from a comment someone posted in

Comments

[greenpuppy]

My Short Skirt

[squinting_kitty]

Thanks. Added it to the post.

[zil]

I'd never encountered that before; I love it. Thanks for posting it. :)

[xxrosencrantzxx]

As far as workplace dress codes go, I think they're generally more about showing your clients/colleagues that you take the job seriously and have enough professional respect for them to not show up each day in a t-shirt and pajama pants. I know I'd be wary of a lawyer in daisy dukes or a doctor in sandals.

[squinting_kitty]

Very true. Good point.

[sorenr]

Also, in my experience workplace dress codes tend to be stricter for men, forcing them into the uniform suit'n'tie-hell. Women have more options without seeming un-professional, actually.

(And I know several women who dress in a highly sexual manner without compromising their professional appearence; sex-appeal and sensuality is not necessarily the opposite of professional behaviour.)

[rightobehostile]

I agree that women should dress however they feel like but I feel that if they're using their bodies to "get somewhere in life", they're demeaning themselves and their intelligence.

[sorenr]

Would the same behaviour also be demeaning for a man? I've used my looks on several occasions (with bosses, recruiters, clients) without feeling that I compromised anything. Rather, I was taking advantage of whatever edge that might give me...

If sex appeal can be used as a tool, then sure, it might be manipulative and so on, but I can't see why it should be demeaning.

[booklington]

Well said, and I agree.

[jennifer0246]

but why and how do you get to judge whether they're using their bodies?

[dorktastic]

I think it is important to challenge the idea of appropriate dress for the reasons you have already suggested

[chreebomb]

damnit! you beat me to it again! :)

i was thinking about this very thing as i walked from my office to my car yesterday (after the whole thread discussion yesterday).

someone had said that she wears short skirts, etc. but only because that's her and not because of anything else. but you can't really separate the two. because we're products of our environment--we're not coming up with our own desires in a vaccuum, as you said.

i have nothing intelligent to add, i guess. but this is exactly what i was thinking about yesterday.

[zil]

I said on the other thread (chreebomb's thread), "For the record, I dress up nicely, wear high-heels and short skirts because it brings me joy to revel in my own body. I don't do it for the attention it gets or for the advantages it brings me. In my opinion, that's the difference between a feminist approach to beauty and a patriarchal approach." And I think that applies here

[chreebomb]

did you see dorktastic's comment above? it was your comment, i think, that i was thinking of when i was walking yesterday. [that's a lot of "thinking" in one sentence!]

it's not cut and dried, you know? our desires are intricately woven in with our desire for other people's approval, a desire to be identified in the way we choose to express our individuality and 'tribal' affiliations, etc.

[zil]

our desires are intricately woven in with our desire for other people's approvalThat's definitely true, and unfortunately our society is structured in such a way that women are encouraged to believe that male approval is of premier importance. And I believe that there are plenty of women who dress conservatively not because they enjoy it but because they don't want other people (especially women) to classify them in a certain way

[chreebomb]

I wasn't able to pay proper attention to your points because of some faulty premises:

1. It's not male-based. I'm not heterosexual, for example. I have *no* interest in attracting males. None. So what I wear is largely for myself as most females I encounter day-to-day aren't gay. When I *am* around other lesbians, I'm dressed pretty much the same.

2. I think you're ignoring biological mating ritual and instinct. Every species has specific clues and rituals and markings/colorings that signal availability for mating. Humans are no different except in our ability to be cognitive about our rituals and instincts and our ability to affect changes to our behavior and style of clothing.

3. You suggest that attracting a mate based partially on appearance [I don't believe it's an either/or thing] is a faulty basis for forming partnerships. I disagree.

I don't mean to be argumentative. I hope it doesn't sound as such. I'm interested in discussing this more; we're just of differing opinions, it seems. :) But I want to continue, if you're