Fic: The Fire Within, chapter 1. AU human. Liam/Spike. NC-17

Oct 10, 2006 19:28

Title: The Fire Within, chapter 1
Author: felisblanco
Pairing: Liam/Spike
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Sex. Eventually. Lots of cursing? This Liam was not WB censured. More like HBO really.
Summary: Man, I suck at summaries. Liam is a fireman, Spike is a rookie cop. One is out, the other not. God. Help with this would be appreciated. Finding the title was bad enough. (Thanks aschicca)
Author's note: Thanks to woman_of for the read over. *snogs*

As they got closer to their destination, sirens wailing, lights flashing, he felt his heart start beating faster in his chest. It always did, whether it was from excitement or fear he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that those last moments before the fight - because in his mind it was never a game or just a job but a fight, or more accurately a war that had to be won at minimum cost - those last moments, he felt more real than ever. Like all the crap in his life, all his inner demons and nightmares, all his fears, his secrets, all his insecurity, none of it mattered. Up against The Beast it all went away and all that was left was what he was, not who he was.

“Ok, guys. Coming around the corner now. Get ready.”

His body tensed, itching to move and as soon as they slowed down he was up, jumping off the truck before they came to a halt. The clothes that the first years had felt so heavy seemed like a second skin to him now. The helmet like moulded to his head. It was all a part of him. It was him. Without this, his costume, he was nothing. Not even a man.

Even if they’d been warned, the enormity still shocked him for a moment before he managed to push those feelings away. A crowd had already assembled, held back by the boys in blue, the flames flickering in their eyes. It always amazed him, this fascination with potential death. Like watching strangers die would somehow keep themselves safe. He didn’t understand it, in fact he loathed it, and more than once he’d felt the urge to grab one of those fucking idiots and shove their face into the smouldering skin of what used to be a human being, asking them, “Is this close enough? Got your thrills? Does this blackened corpse of a child make you feel immortal?”

Those were the kind of thoughts Dr. Gillian said he had to learn to control. In other ways than with booze and drugs and fucking hookers up against the walls in dirty alleys.

Well, what the hell did she know anyway?

He pushed past the traumatised families, shivering under blankets, stinking of smoke. They were the lucky ones. The ones that had woken up, the ones that lived on the lower floors. He had no time for them, they would live. Eight stories up someone hadn’t been that lucky. According to the cops there had been screaming and even if they knew there was no way they could reach whoever was in there, the silence that followed was even worse. The top three floors were engulfed in flames, if anyone else had been up there they were far beyond salvation. A body lay on the pavement, covered up by a blanket. He ignored that too, silently thankful he hadn’t been there to see the jump.

He hated these streets. Shit houses, uninsured and unsafe. Usually they had no fire detectors and no alarms and often enough when the LAFD finally got the call it was too late. It was like whoever built these houses had decided to use as inflammable material as they could get their hands on. The politicians promised to take action every time election was up but as soon as they had their precious positions they forgot. Three fires in the last six months. There was speculation of a serial arsonist but so far the M.O. had been different each time. Not that it proved anything. Not that he cared. Let the police do their job, he had enough with his own.

Someone grabbed his arm as he was about to enter the house and he turned around, raising the mask from his face in irritation. “What?” It sounded more like a growl than a word.

She looked scared, much more frightened than she should have been after ten years on the job. “My partner. He’s in there. We were first at the scene and we saw a kid up on the fourth floor and were trying to…” She swallowed. “He ran ahead and then I lost him in the smoke. He never came out.”

“Jesus, Kate! Old Joe? He got a fucking death wish?”

“Joe retired last week. Please, Liam. He’s just a stupid rookie kid and he refused to listen to me. You’ve got to find him.”

“Oh great. Your brave little idiot got a name?” His mask was already back on.

“Will. His name is Will.”

The heat was suffocating and the smoke so thick he could only see about a foot in front of him. His team was already spreading out; some making sure the lower floors were already empty while others moved up the staircase in search of people or bodies on those floors that were still accessible. Cursing he headed up to the fourth floor, Gunn straight behind him. He opened the door cautiously, the heat of the flames hitting him instantly. It was already running along the ceiling as well as down the walls at the end of the hall. There would be flames inside some of the apartments as well. There were six doors. Three open, three closed.

They moved systematically through, checking each of the apartments, Liam’s muffled shouts of Will’s name through the mask deafened by the crackling and creaking sounds of the house being devoured by The Beast. He heard Gunn shout and turned around. He was carrying a young unconscious woman, quickly signalling that apart from her the apartment was empty before heading downstairs to give her over to the men further down. He would return in a moment but Liam knew he didn’t have time to wait and he carried on, knocking down doors to check for residents and a stupid young boy named Will.

He was at the last one, Gunn already hurrying up to join him when he heard the strangled cough. He rushed in, Gunn right behind him, shouting for whoever was there to speak up. Liam spotted him first, half covered by a wet smoking blanket, trying to shield something that was cradled in his arms. He’d obviously been overcome by the smoke and fumes, possibly lost his direction as his eyes were blinded by the heat. Liam rolled him over and handed the small child in his arms over to Gunn before throwing the young man over his shoulder and together they pushed through the smoke, the flames already becoming far too intimate. What he assumed was the bedroom and kitchen were already engulfed in flames and he knew if anyone else was in there it was far too late for them. He just hoped there wouldn’t be crispy remains to dig out of the rubble once the fire had been subdued.

There was an explosion and something hit him hard in the side, making him fall to his knees but he didn’t stop to check, just got back on his feet and kept his gaze on Gunn’s broad back, trusting him to find the way out. He felt faint as he descended the stairs but he didn’t let go of the limp body until the paramedics pried it from his arms. Then he ripped of his mask, gasping for clean air and suddenly he felt a searing pain in his left side. He looked up to see the young blond cop lying seemingly dead on a stretcher and he blinked as he tried to stay conscious. Jesus, that boy. He looked just like…

Then everything went black.

--------------

“You are one lucky son of a bitch, you know that? You scared the shit out of us.” Gunn popped another grape into his mouth and shook his head. “A fucking hole in your side and you don’t even notice? What crack were you on?”

Liam chuckled then grimaced as the movement stretched his stitches. “Don’t you know I’m fucking Batman? I’m invincible. Nothing can kill me.”

“That’s Superman. Batman can be killed very easily.” Gunn mimicked a shot to Liam’s head.

Liam scowled. “Don’t like Superman, he looks dumb. With or without his costume. Batman is much cooler.”

“Telling you, he’d be dead. You could be Spiderman. Although I don’t think he’s invincible either.” Gunn frowned.

“Whatever, it takes more than a tiny hole in my gut to do me in. I’m fine.” He lay back on the pillows, his pale face contradicting his words. He was silent for a moment, staring at the ceiling as Gunn ate his way through the basket of fruit the department had sent over.

“How are they?” His voice didn’t sound half as casual as he had intended.

Gunn looked up. “The girl’s legs are badly burned but she’ll be all right. Her parents were out on their usual night of drinking. Imagine that. Saved by alcoholism.” He paused, studying Liam’s face. “Her guardian angel though… He’s still unconscious. The fumes probably fucked him up. He obviously got hit in the head with something, got a nasty cut above his eye. Second degree burns on his hands… Other than that he actually looks okay.”

Liam let out the breath he hadn’t realised he was holding. “The doctors think he’s in a coma?”

“Don’t think so. Just got lot of poisonous shit in his system. Asbestos and all that crap. Fuck, I hate that neighbourhood.”

“Yeah, I know. Me too.”

They fell silent, Liam still staring at nothing, Gunn peeling a banana. He chomped off a large piece, then chewed thoughtfully. “You know, that rookie…”

“Will.”

Gunn nodded. “Yeah, Will. Don’t know if you noticed but he looks a lot like…”

Liam cut him off. “I know. Coincidence.”

“Maybe. Anyway, I did some asking.”

“Gunn.” His voice held a tone of warning but Gunn ignored it.

“His name is William Brent. He started two weeks ago. Twenty-three, British, moved here three years prior.”

“Gunn.”

“Lives two blocks away from you actually. Alone.”

“GUNN!” He was practically growling.

Gunn threw the banana peel in the wastebasket and looked straight at him. “And he’s gay. Apparently openly so. Doesn’t care a shit about what people say.”

Liam clenched his jaw. “I’m not going to…”

“Got beaten up three times his first year here, once by cops, but instead of giving up he decided to join them. Change the system from within or something like that. Got beaten up twice at the academy but he just kept pushing on and graduated with the highest score known.”

“So the guy’s a smartass trouble magnet. Is there a point to this?”

“Caught a renowned drug dealer on his second day. Got ambushed outside the cop bar and beaten up again on his third. Doesn’t look to good for our boy, does it?”

Liam looked away. “Not our boy. He’s not…”

“Except then he happened to resuscitate old Joe from a heart attack at his retirement party last weekend. And guess what? Half of his district has been by since last night to see how he’s doing. The boy’s got get-well cards filling his room. Who’d have thought? A gay hero in the LAPD.” Gunn raised his eyebrows and popped another grape into his mouth.

Liam ran his hand over his face, the rough palm scratching his dry skin. He suddenly felt very tired. “He’s not Bill, Gunn. He may look a bit like him but he’s not him. I don’t know this guy and I don’t want to know him. Ok?”

Gunn sighed. “I never said he was, man. But…”

“And I’m not coming out to the department. Just because one cop is a gay hero today doesn’t mean I’ll be the fire squad’s new gay champion. This is my life, Gunn, and my job is all I have now. I’m not risking it for a pretty face.”

“Bill wasn’t just a pretty face.” Gunn’s voice was soft and Liam felt the lump in his throat grow bigger.

“You have no right…” Liam swallowed. “That’s low, even for you. I would have died for him, you know that.”

“But you won’t live for yourself.” Gunn shook his head. “You can’t hide forever, you know. You can’t live alone for the rest of your life, ignoring who you are. It will kill you, man. Just like it killed him.”

“He killed himself, Gunn.” The words still shocked him, after all this time. He. Killed. Himself. It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t…

“Oh that’s fucking bullshit and you know it.” Gunn leaned back in the chair, watching him. “He didn’t kill himself, society killed him. Shame killed him.”

Liam looked away. “I killed him. My shame. My cowardice.”

Gunn sighed and reached for Liam’s hand but he jerked it away. “Liam, no.”

“No? That’s what happened. They found out about him and I couldn’t turn away quickly enough so they wouldn’t find out about me. About us. And that broke him.” He could feel tears prickling in his eyes. Shit. “Not the cold looks. Not the snide remarks. Me. I broke him. I killed him.”

“You know that ain’t true.”

“I know too fucking well how true it is. I killed him and at his damn funeral I just stood there, one of the boys, a nobody, a fucking coward. His family didn’t even know about me. As far as they know he had no one.” They were right. He was no one.

“We’ve been through this a million times, Liam.”

“And whatever you say won’t change a damn thing. Now if you don’t mind, I’m tired and I need sleep.”

Gunn held his gaze for a long time, then shook his head and stood up. “All right, man. Get some rest and I’ll check in on you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Gunn was almost at the door when he added, “I’m sorry. I just can’t… And he’s not Bill.” Gunn turned around and Liam looked away. “He’s not Bill, Charlie.”

“I know. But he’s someone. And you need someone.”

“Well, he doesn’t need me. I only bring people misery.”

--------------

They kept him for five more days before he was allowed to go home. He scowled as he struggled into his own clothes, ignoring the stabs of pain as the stitches tugged at his skin. He would need to come back in a couple of days to have them removed but it would be at least two weeks before he would be able to go back to work. Apparently he was lucky. The word made him want to laugh insanely and then punch the smiling doctor in the face. Luck had nothing to do with it. God just wasn’t finished with all the shit he’d planned throwing at him, that was all.

The door opened and he turned around, staring at the wheelchair that was being rolled into the room. Slowly he lifted his gaze and the young girl stepped back from his glare.

“No.”

“Sir, hospital policy…”

“Tell them they can shove it up their…”

“Now, now Liam.” Gunn popped his head in and smiled at the nervous girl. “Don’t be nasty to the young lady. Get your butt in that chair and I’ll wheel your weak little body out of here.”

“No. Forget it.”

“One call and I’ll have ten of the guys ready to carry you out. You want that?”

Liam flipped him the finger. “Fuck off.”

“I’ll buy you a burger on the way home.”

Liam closed his eyes in exasperation, then walked over and sat down, clutching his bag of belonging to his chest and shot Gunn a poisonous look. “A big one. And extra fries. And Coke. And I want ice cream as well.”

Gunn grinned and wheeled him out of the room. “Jeez, anyone might think you’d been living on hospital food for five days.”

“Just get me the fuck out of here.”

He unobtrusively shot glances at the numbers on the other rooms as they went by.

“He was released yesterday. Kate took him home.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Gunn only laughed.

Continued here

Feedback and input would be appreciated.

genre: au human, fic 2006, fic, btvs/ats fic, pairing: spike/angel, the fire within

Previous post Next post
Up