Fic: Protect Your Soul, Chapter 2
Well, like I promised, here is the second part of this. You might have to wait a while for more since I'm far behind schedule with this. Anyway, same warnings apply even if there's nothing explicit in this chapter. Previous chapter is here.
Protect Your Soul, Chapter 2
They jerked awake by the sky opening and dumping gallons of rain down upon them. Cursing and yelping they jumped to their feet and ran into the tent, looking like a couple of drowned rats.
“Fuck!”
“You can s-say that again.” Liam's teeth were clattering, arms hugging his body in the wet clothes.
When Will quickly unpeeled his t-shirt from his skin and drew it over his head before throwing it into the corner of the tent Liam froze for a moment before realising what an idiot he was being and followed suit, throwing off his t-shirt and tugging at the wet denim jeans until finally they gave way and he kicked them off, on top of the rest of their wet clothes in the corner. Will was already wrapped up in the sleeping bag but threw it around Liam when he crouched down and tugged it closer around them. They sat quiet for a moment, side-by-side, their shivering slowly subsiding, cold skin plastered to cold skin. After a while Will shifted and Liam held his breath as a thin arm sneaked around his waist, slowly like Will wasn't sure how he would react. They sat perfectly still, hardly breathing. Then Liam took a deep breath and turned his head, reaching up to cup Will's scared and hopeful face before leaning forward and kissing him.
It was a soft and sweet kiss, their lips warm despite their cold skin. It was free of desperation and grief and only tinted slightly with fear, the new and unknown territory they were stepping into making them both hesitant and excited. When Will parted his lips Liam slipped his tongue inside, melting into the warmth he found waiting for him. He shivered slightly as he felt Will's hand stroke his back and then his other one reached up and ran warm fingers through Liam's cold and damp hair. He shifted so they were facing each other, slowly rising up on their knees, the sleeping bag falling from their shoulders. His right hand had crept behind Will's neck and was pulling him even closer and he didn't notice what he was doing until he felt the smoothness of Will's buttock under the palm of his left hand. Will gasped into his mouth, jerking slightly forward and Liam sucked in his breath at the unmistakable feel of a warm hard cock pressing against his.
“Will...”
“God, Lee...” Will shuddered and leaned his head on Liam's shoulder. “Do you feel that?”
“Yes.” Husky voice, hardly more than a breath.
“I didn't know it felt like this.”
Liam nuzzled into Will's wet hair. “What?”
“Being hard.” He shifted slightly, groaning as his cock slipped against Liam's in the slow trickling of precum.
Liam blinked. “You've never...?”
“No.”
The honest answer made something in his chest break and he wrapped his arms around Will, holding him so tight he could hardly breathe. “I want to show you... It can be so good, I know it can.”
Will swallowed, face still buried into the crook of Liam's neck. “It's never been good, any of it.”
“You've never done it... yourself?” Dark nights alone, envisioning heaving breasts and pouty lips, moaning his release into a damp pillow.
Will shook his head. “No. Never wanted to touch it. I just wanted it to disappear. It made me feel filthy.”
“And now?” Liam didn't dare breathe.
“Now I'm glad it didn't.” Will raised his head, eyes calm and blue like still water. “Very, very glad.”
“Do you want me to...?” He stopped unsure.
“Yes.” Will swallowed, faltering slightly. “I mean, if you want to.”
“I do.” Liam licked his lips. “I don't know if I'm any good but...”
“Whatever you do will be good.”
They stared into each other's eyes, their breath getting shallower as their pupils darkened. This time it was Will who leaned forward, kissing Liam with already open lips and when Liam's tongue slipped inside his mouth he came closer, bumping his hard erection into Liam's once again. Heart hammering in his chest Liam reached down and wrapped his fingers around Will's cock. The skin was so soft and he could feel it pulsating in his hand. The sharp intake of breath made him shiver and he could feel precum starting to leak from the tip of his own erection. Slowly he started stroking him, mimicking the movements he had so far only practised on himself.
“Is this good?”
Will nodded, his breath erratic and when Liam looked he saw his eyes were closed, tears glittering at the corners. He stopped, scared. “Am I... am I hurting you? Please tell me if...”
“No. It's good. God, it's so good.” Will hitched his breath as Liam continued, his voice breaking. “You're so... so good.”
He reached out, hesitantly, and ran a finger over Liam's straining erection. The tender touch made Liam shiver but he stilled anyway, shaking his head. “You... you don't have to. I just want to make you feel good.”
“I want to.” Will opened his eyes and sighed as his fingers closed around the hard cock. “It's not the same. It's so different you can't even imagine.” He looked down at their hands, each working the other slowly and hesitantly. “This feels... right.”
They kissed again, getting lost in each other's lips and touch and before long they were speeding up, their holds tightening. Will's trembling intensified but Liam wasn't worried, the soft moans and whimpers enough evidence that everything was all right. He was getting closer and closer himself and just as he was about to tell Will to slow down he stiffened and with a cry thrust into Liam's fist, spilling semen over his hand, stomach and cock. That was the final straw for Liam and he came with a shudder, kissing Will's gasping mouth as he added to the mess, then dropped his head down on his shoulder, one hand still cupping the back of Will's head in a loving embrace.
They stayed still as their breathing slowed down and the sweat dried on their bodies. When Will suddenly sank down on his heels, his head dropping forward, Liam grabbed him by the shoulders in worry. “Will?”
Will shook his head. A shudder ran through him and he covered his mouth with his hand but not before a sob escaped his lips.
“Will? I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Did I...?” Liam stopped, feeling helpless and confused.
Will just continued shaking his head, unable to speak. When Liam started stroking his back, trying to give him comfort in some way even if he didn't know what was wrong, Will doubled over, head between his knees.
“Do you feel sick?”
He shook his head again, his body starting to tremble and one hand reached up, braiding his fingers with Liam's and squeezing them hard.
“Will, you're scaring me. Please.”
Another sob shook the slight body and then Will breathed out and started weeping softly, his arms circling Liam's waist and pulling him closer, so he could rest his head on his lap. Liam sat still, the reason for Will's breakdown suddenly dawning on him and he felt overwhelmed with sadness and a strange feeling of happiness that he couldn't quite understand.
He closed his eyes and leaned over, resting his cheek on the small of Will's back, feeling his bony spine. “It's all right. Everything's going to be all right. I'll take care of you. I promise.”
He felt humble that his simple and naïve touches had showed Will that what he had been subjected to for all these years was not sex, had nothing whatsoever to do with sex and certainly nothing to do with love, and that what they had just done was a sample, however poor, of how it was supposed to be. After a while he raised himself up again and gently rolled Will over to his side, lay down behind him and pulled him into a spooning embrace, before tugging the sleeping bag over them. Their fingers were again braided together, pressed against Will's chest. The weeping slowly subsided and before long Will was breathing evenly, his limbs going slack in sleep. Nose buried in his blond hair, Liam lay awake and made plans.
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This time when Liam woke up it was to the rumbling of his stomach. Gurgling and grumbling, playing like a symphony of bad pipes. He rolled over to his back and stared up at the ceiling of the tent for a moment before sitting up and reaching for his bag. Not the first time they'd been caught by the weather so he had extra jeans and a t-shirt and some warm socks in there. No underwear. He smiled softly to himself and looked over at Will's sleeping form. The only part visible of him were tufts of dirty-blond hair. He resisted reaching over and running his fingers through those soft curls and instead crawled out of the tent with his clothes under his arm.
It was early morning, the slowly warming air so clear he could taste dew on his tongue. The sun shone cheerily, the light breaking in every drop of drying rain on the grass, making it look like a field of diamonds. He shivered slightly and hurried to pull on his pants and then the t-shirt, looking around for his sneakers that he had kicked off sometime yesterday. Something about counting his toes or the hairs on his toes, he wasn't sure, the memory lost in tendrils of smoke. He found them stuffed under the side of the tent, shielded from the rain. Huh. Did he do that? He couldn't remember. Maybe Will had. He didn't seem to lose his sense as much as Liam did when drunk or high.
The shoes were a bit tight when wearing the thick socks but they were warm and cosy and he flexed his frozen toes a few times, warming them up. Then he went off, looking for dry twigs for the fire. It was already flickering, sausages hovering over the low flames, when Will stumbled out of the tent half an hour later, shivering and squinting his eyes in the sun.
“Hey. Good morning.”
Will blushed. “Morning.” He stifled a yawn and sat down on the log beside Liam, keeping his distance.
“You feel better?”
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath, eyes averted. “Look, Liam...”
Liam shook his head. “Don't. Don't apologise and don't say it was nothing and don't, don't say you regret it.”
Will swallowed. “I wasn't going to. But... it can't happen again.”
Liam's head snapped up and he stared at him in disbelief. “What? How can you say that? How can you... Why?”
“He'll know. He'll find out and...” Will shivered and wrapped his arms around his knees. “I don't want him to hurt you.”
Liam breathed out in relief, for a moment he'd thought Will was going to say it was because he didn't really want him that way. He threw his arm over Will's shoulder and pulled him closer. “He's not going to find out because we're not going back.”
Will jerked and stared at him in shock. “What?”
“I've figured it all out. We just have to go to my place to pick up some stuff and then we go to the bank to get the money.”
“But...”
“I'm not waiting two more years, Will. You're not going back. Fuck school. We're leaving.”
“We can't! I mean, you need to graduate and... We can't!” He blinked. “Can we?”
“Don't want to go to college anyway. Dad wants me to be a lawyer. Yeah, sure.” He rolled his eyes. “I want to be an artist and you, you want to write, right? Don't need college for that.”
“Your parents will kill you.”
Liam laughed. “They can't if I'm not there, can they?”
“My dad will kill my mum.”
Liam went quiet. Will slumped down, the tiny flicker of hope he'd glimpsed fading rapidly.
After a while of silence Liam glanced at him. “What were you going to do, in two years? You knew we were leaving at some time.”
“I don't know.” Will looked away. “I hadn't really expected being around in two years.”
The confession hit Liam in the gut. All those dark nights and sunny days they'd planned and plotted where to go and what to see, and all the time Will had thought he'd most likely be dead. He closed his eyes, the fear gripping him again. If he allowed Will to go back his prediction would quite possibly prove true. His dad would probably not kill him, no use wasting a good slave, but it was only a question of time before Will gave up. He didn't know whether it was the growing maturity, finally being able to grasp the horror of his situation, that was doing it but he could see the fragility in Will, feel how close he was to letting it swallow him whole, the desperation and the terror finally becoming too much to bear.
He refused to let that happen.
“I'll take care of it. Don't worry. He won't be able to do anything.”
Will looked up at him, hope again sparkling in his eyes. “How?”
“Leave it to me.” Liam squeezed his shoulders. “I know what to do. It will be all right.
“Promise?”
Liam nodded even if he felt anything but sure. “I promise.” He swallowed his worry and smiled. “So what do you say? Wanna go on a roadtrip?”
“We're really going?”
Liam grinned. “We're really going.”
He fell back, tumbling off the log as Will violently threw his arms around him, laughing with happiness.
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Liam took a deep breath and reached for the phone, dialling the number he knew by heart but had never called in their 9 years. Through the window he could see Will sitting on the curb, clutching his bowed head in his hands. He had already thrown up twice, the guilt and fear of leaving his mother in the hands of his father making him sick.
“Hello?”
He jumped as the cautious voice suddenly sounded in his ear.
“Hello, Mrs Rayne? This is Liam.” He had never talked to her, never been to their home but she had to be aware of who he was.
She drew in her breath. “Oh. Is... Is William all right? Did something happ-”
“He's not coming back, Mrs Rayne. I'm taking him out of here.”
“What? No!” The panic in her voice was evident and for a moment he felt guilty. “Why are you-?”
“It's been going on long enough. Your husband...” He practically spit out the word. “... will not touch him again. Ever.”
“But...” She started crying, heavy sobs. “What am I supposed to do? He'll kill me. He'll...” She choked on her words.
He could feel the fury gripping him again. “Frankly, I don't care. Where I'm concerned you're just as guilty as he is. How could you let him do that to him!?! You're his mother! You're supposed to...” He stopped, the lump in his throat making him feel nauseous. “The only reason I'm calling is because he's worried sick about you.” He glanced out the window at Will who was now pacing the sidewalk in agitation. “There's a shelter on...” He checked the phonebook again. “... Brewster Road. The number is 555-7532. I've already called them, told them to expect you. I suggest you get there as soon as you can, only taking some essential things.”
“No, I can't! He'll find me.” She was sobbing heavily and he could envision her clutching the phone in her hand. “You can't do this to me!”
Oh for Christ's sake! “Mrs Rayne, this is not about you. Nothing you say will change my mind. I'm going to take care of him. I suggest you start taking care of yourself. And...” He grimaced. “Will asked me to tell you he loves you and that he's sorry. I told him he has nothing to be sorry about but you know how he is. Or maybe you don't. Whatever.” Will was staring up at the house, wringing his hands. “I have to go. Take care, if not for you then for him. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to you. Goodbye, Mrs Rayne.”
“Wait!”
He closed his eyes, wanting it over. “What?”
“Tell him... Tell him I'm sorry. And that I love him too.”
He sighed. Much good that would do. “I will. Look, I have to go now.”
“And tell him to never look back. Can you tell him that?” She was crying again and he felt a twitch of sad sympathy for her. “I do love him. Please believe me. Just... make sure he never comes back. Ethan will... Just take good care of my boy for me, please?”
“I will. Goodbye.”
He hung up, his hand trembling. It had been easy to blame her but the terror in her voice was so similar to Will's that for a moment he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Looking back out the window he watched Will sit down again, hiding his face in his hands and his conviction strengthened again. His responsibility lay with Will, to keep him safe. When it came down to it she was an adult and he was still a child.
He walked into the kitchen and read once more over the letter he'd written to his parents. He felt guilty for doing this to them but they had always let him do his own thing, more or less, and he hoped they trusted him enough to know he was doing what needed to be done. Probably not but there was nothing he could do about that. Writing that letter had been terribly hard and in the end he'd kept it as short as he could.
Dear mom and dad
I love you both but we're leaving. I have to get Will out of here before it's too late. Dr. Rayne has been sexually abusing and beating him for years and the only reason I didn't tell you was because he made me promise not to. I still should have because it's all much worse than I thought. I'm calling his mother to tell her to get out of the house before he finds out we're gone but maybe you should check up on her.
We have the tent and my car and I have money. I've been saving up for this I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. I'm sorry about that but I'm afraid if we don't go now it will be too late. I know you would say we should talk to the police but Dr. Rayne says he will kill both him and his mom if we do. I don't know if he would but Will thinks so. He has a gun in the bedside drawer, he's threatened Will with it many times.
I need to take care of him. I'm the only one he has and I should have done something years ago. Maybe you don't believe me because I know you like his dad but if you had paid any attention you would have seen it. Did you really think all those bruises and broken bones came from us playing? Did you never hear him crying in the night? I've known since I was 12 but I was a coward and now it's all much worse and it's my fault. So I have to fix it, I have to save him.
I'll be okay. We'll be okay. Please just let us go. I'll call you.
I love you.
Liam
He wiped his eyes and put the letter back in the envelope, propping it carefully up against the flower pot with his mother's favourite petunias on the kitchen table. They were sure to see it when they got home from their trip on Tuesday. With a last look around he squared his shoulders and straightened up, feeling for the first time like an adult and not just a frightened boy.
It was time to go.
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They drove until it was almost dark, only stopping a couple of times to stretch their legs and eat the sandwiches Liam had brought with them. They had decided they had to stay away from any public places, including diners, for as long as they could, to diminish the chances of anyone finding out in which direction they had gone. They'd headed south, mostly due to the weather still being rather chilly the higher up north they'd go.
When they finally stopped their bodies ached with exhaustion and as soon as the tent was up they fell asleep, side by side, although Will was soon snuggling up to Liam in his usual manner. Early the next morning they were off again, staring blurry eyed at the long winding road ahead of them. Around noon they had to stop for gas and Will hid in the woods while Liam filled up and paid, adding a couple of muffins and soda cans to the bill. Just before it got dark they crossed the state border, breathing a joined sigh of relief at having managed to come this far.
Quite possibly they had still not been reported missing. Liam's parents wouldn't be home until late the next day and if Will's mother had followed his suggestions she was out of reach to her husband and unlikely to tell anyone of their escape. On the other hand, if she hadn't... it would still take Dr. Rayne some time to find out which way they had gone and Liam doubted he would call the police. You never knew though, he was a master of lies. He could easily convince the police it was a simple case of teenage rebellion. And then, as soon as he knew where they were... Bang!
They put up the tent on the bank of a small river, so tired they couldn't even find the energy to talk. After eating the last of the sandwiches, they crawled under the sleeping bag, Will falling asleep immediately with Liam staying awake, pondering their situation. In another day or two they would be able to slow down a bit. This roadtrip was turning out quite different than the one they had been planning for so long. For one thing he hadn't planned on being on the run, and secondly...
He looked over at Will's sleeping face, so calm and that ever present smile that would never leave his lips these days. He reached over and stroke away a strand of hair from his eyes. They hadn't 'done' anything since that day. Not even kissed. He wasn't sure what to think of that. He wasn't even sure if he wanted them to... Okay, that was a lie, he really did want it but Will hadn't given him any signs of wanting it too and... He sighed. Everything was so confusing.
He hadn't really had any time to think until now. The last two days had been all haste and stress, no time to sit down and talk or just think about what was happening. And right this moment he was really too tired to manage much more than 'Will we make it?' and 'Am I gay?'
He closed his eyes and conjured up images of big breasts and smooth curves, pouty lips and fluttering eyelashes. His cock stirred and he reached down to stroke it lazily through his boxers. He imagined Cordelia smiling at him, cocking her head and letting her hair flow down over his face as she leaned over to kiss him. He was sure she tasted like cherries. His strokes sped up, his lips parting in shallow breaths. She kissed his neck and licked his ear, rubbing up against him and he reached down, running his hand over her smooth stomach and then further, hitching his breath as he found a nest of curls. She was wet, pearls of moisture easing his way between her legs.
This was where his fantasy got blurred. He didn't really know what it felt like although he'd seen plenty of pictures in Xander Harris' dirty magazines that his uncle provided him with. It was all pink and strange layers and they'd learned all the names in sex ed but he hadn't really paid that much attention, too busy snickering with the rest of the class. He tried to imagine what it would feel like, pushing a finger inside her. All wet and tight. He moaned and sped up again. One finger, then two... He was about to pull out and push his cock inside her when Will shifted beside him, mumbling in his sleep and then turned around, snuggling up close. At once his fantasy changed, he was kissing Will's soft lips, grinding his thigh against his cock, fingers deep inside him. So warm, so tight.
“Want you. Please, Lee.”
“Yes. Oh God.”
He pushed Will over on his back, pulling out his fingers and positioning his cock at his opening instead. Then he pushed inside in one smooth motion. Oh God! His fist tightened around his cock, jerking it faster and harder. Will was wriggling beneath him, moaning and slamming his hands down on the silk sheeted bed.
“Lee! Oh God, Liam! It's so good. So good!”
He slammed into him harder and harder, feeling Will clenching around him. So close. So damn close. He was gonna... nnngh!
He lay shivering, his hand and groin sticky with semen, his boxers pushed down to his knees sometime during his fantasy. He turned his head, burying his nose in Will's hair. He smelled so good. And he was so warm and soft and his eyes... Liam sighed. Seemed he was very gay. Or maybe it was just Will that did this to him. For some reason that thought made him feel better.
He wiped his fingers on his thigh, tugged up his boxers and turned to his side, pulling Will closer. Whatever it was he knew he wouldn't give Will up for all the girls in the world, not even Cordelia. Just the thought of not having Will in his life was too devastating to think through. He shuddered, hugging Will so tight he sniffled and half-opened his eyes, looking blearily up at him.
“Lee?”
“Sshh, go back to sleep.”
“Mmmm... okay.” He closed his eyes again and snuggled closer. “I was dreaming of you.”
Liam smiled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Will breathed into his neck, tickling the small hairs. “You were teaching me how to swim in your pool. Remember that?”
Liam stilled. He felt guilty for his own dirty fantasy. Sometimes he forgot that Will was younger than him, that only a couple of years ago he was still reading comics and playing with Liam's Star Wars figures.
“Yeah, that was fun.”
Will raised his head and smiled up at him, then settled back down, yawning. “I dreamt I lost you and started sinking but you came and saved me. And then we lay on the grass and you held me tight and...” He yawned again, his jaw clicking with the strain. “... you told me you loved me.”
Liam closed his eyes, running his fingers through Will's hair. It was getting dirty, they would have to find somewhere to freshen up. Wash their clothes as well. They'd had to pack light, Will making do with what he'd brought to their camping trip since he couldn't go back to his house. Next town they hit Liam was going to buy him some clothes. Actually it wouldn't be too dumb to make some change in their appearance, lessening the chance of being recognised. The thought made him smile. It would be fun dressing Will up. Something very different. Something... wild. He leaned over and kissed the top of Will's head. “Well, I do.”
But Will was already asleep.
TBC
[ETA. I just realised I had forgotten to edit a few things. Originally they were on a bike but it became to impractical so I changed it. If you see any such mistakes still left please let me know.]
[ET2. This series has been discontinued. I'm sorry.]
Protect Your Soul, Chapter 2
They jerked awake by the sky opening and dumping gallons of rain down upon them. Cursing and yelping they jumped to their feet and ran into the tent, looking like a couple of drowned rats.
“Fuck!”
“You can s-say that again.” Liam's teeth were clattering, arms hugging his body in the wet clothes.
When Will quickly unpeeled his t-shirt from his skin and drew it over his head before throwing it into the corner of the tent Liam froze for a moment before realising what an idiot he was being and followed suit, throwing off his t-shirt and tugging at the wet denim jeans until finally they gave way and he kicked them off, on top of the rest of their wet clothes in the corner. Will was already wrapped up in the sleeping bag but threw it around Liam when he crouched down and tugged it closer around them. They sat quiet for a moment, side-by-side, their shivering slowly subsiding, cold skin plastered to cold skin. After a while Will shifted and Liam held his breath as a thin arm sneaked around his waist, slowly like Will wasn't sure how he would react. They sat perfectly still, hardly breathing. Then Liam took a deep breath and turned his head, reaching up to cup Will's scared and hopeful face before leaning forward and kissing him.
It was a soft and sweet kiss, their lips warm despite their cold skin. It was free of desperation and grief and only tinted slightly with fear, the new and unknown territory they were stepping into making them both hesitant and excited. When Will parted his lips Liam slipped his tongue inside, melting into the warmth he found waiting for him. He shivered slightly as he felt Will's hand stroke his back and then his other one reached up and ran warm fingers through Liam's cold and damp hair. He shifted so they were facing each other, slowly rising up on their knees, the sleeping bag falling from their shoulders. His right hand had crept behind Will's neck and was pulling him even closer and he didn't notice what he was doing until he felt the smoothness of Will's buttock under the palm of his left hand. Will gasped into his mouth, jerking slightly forward and Liam sucked in his breath at the unmistakable feel of a warm hard cock pressing against his.
“Will...”
“God, Lee...” Will shuddered and leaned his head on Liam's shoulder. “Do you feel that?”
“Yes.” Husky voice, hardly more than a breath.
“I didn't know it felt like this.”
Liam nuzzled into Will's wet hair. “What?”
“Being hard.” He shifted slightly, groaning as his cock slipped against Liam's in the slow trickling of precum.
Liam blinked. “You've never...?”
“No.”
The honest answer made something in his chest break and he wrapped his arms around Will, holding him so tight he could hardly breathe. “I want to show you... It can be so good, I know it can.”
Will swallowed, face still buried into the crook of Liam's neck. “It's never been good, any of it.”
“You've never done it... yourself?” Dark nights alone, envisioning heaving breasts and pouty lips, moaning his release into a damp pillow.
Will shook his head. “No. Never wanted to touch it. I just wanted it to disappear. It made me feel filthy.”
“And now?” Liam didn't dare breathe.
“Now I'm glad it didn't.” Will raised his head, eyes calm and blue like still water. “Very, very glad.”
“Do you want me to...?” He stopped unsure.
“Yes.” Will swallowed, faltering slightly. “I mean, if you want to.”
“I do.” Liam licked his lips. “I don't know if I'm any good but...”
“Whatever you do will be good.”
They stared into each other's eyes, their breath getting shallower as their pupils darkened. This time it was Will who leaned forward, kissing Liam with already open lips and when Liam's tongue slipped inside his mouth he came closer, bumping his hard erection into Liam's once again. Heart hammering in his chest Liam reached down and wrapped his fingers around Will's cock. The skin was so soft and he could feel it pulsating in his hand. The sharp intake of breath made him shiver and he could feel precum starting to leak from the tip of his own erection. Slowly he started stroking him, mimicking the movements he had so far only practised on himself.
“Is this good?”
Will nodded, his breath erratic and when Liam looked he saw his eyes were closed, tears glittering at the corners. He stopped, scared. “Am I... am I hurting you? Please tell me if...”
“No. It's good. God, it's so good.” Will hitched his breath as Liam continued, his voice breaking. “You're so... so good.”
He reached out, hesitantly, and ran a finger over Liam's straining erection. The tender touch made Liam shiver but he stilled anyway, shaking his head. “You... you don't have to. I just want to make you feel good.”
“I want to.” Will opened his eyes and sighed as his fingers closed around the hard cock. “It's not the same. It's so different you can't even imagine.” He looked down at their hands, each working the other slowly and hesitantly. “This feels... right.”
They kissed again, getting lost in each other's lips and touch and before long they were speeding up, their holds tightening. Will's trembling intensified but Liam wasn't worried, the soft moans and whimpers enough evidence that everything was all right. He was getting closer and closer himself and just as he was about to tell Will to slow down he stiffened and with a cry thrust into Liam's fist, spilling semen over his hand, stomach and cock. That was the final straw for Liam and he came with a shudder, kissing Will's gasping mouth as he added to the mess, then dropped his head down on his shoulder, one hand still cupping the back of Will's head in a loving embrace.
They stayed still as their breathing slowed down and the sweat dried on their bodies. When Will suddenly sank down on his heels, his head dropping forward, Liam grabbed him by the shoulders in worry. “Will?”
Will shook his head. A shudder ran through him and he covered his mouth with his hand but not before a sob escaped his lips.
“Will? I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? Did I...?” Liam stopped, feeling helpless and confused.
Will just continued shaking his head, unable to speak. When Liam started stroking his back, trying to give him comfort in some way even if he didn't know what was wrong, Will doubled over, head between his knees.
“Do you feel sick?”
He shook his head again, his body starting to tremble and one hand reached up, braiding his fingers with Liam's and squeezing them hard.
“Will, you're scaring me. Please.”
Another sob shook the slight body and then Will breathed out and started weeping softly, his arms circling Liam's waist and pulling him closer, so he could rest his head on his lap. Liam sat still, the reason for Will's breakdown suddenly dawning on him and he felt overwhelmed with sadness and a strange feeling of happiness that he couldn't quite understand.
He closed his eyes and leaned over, resting his cheek on the small of Will's back, feeling his bony spine. “It's all right. Everything's going to be all right. I'll take care of you. I promise.”
He felt humble that his simple and naïve touches had showed Will that what he had been subjected to for all these years was not sex, had nothing whatsoever to do with sex and certainly nothing to do with love, and that what they had just done was a sample, however poor, of how it was supposed to be. After a while he raised himself up again and gently rolled Will over to his side, lay down behind him and pulled him into a spooning embrace, before tugging the sleeping bag over them. Their fingers were again braided together, pressed against Will's chest. The weeping slowly subsided and before long Will was breathing evenly, his limbs going slack in sleep. Nose buried in his blond hair, Liam lay awake and made plans.
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This time when Liam woke up it was to the rumbling of his stomach. Gurgling and grumbling, playing like a symphony of bad pipes. He rolled over to his back and stared up at the ceiling of the tent for a moment before sitting up and reaching for his bag. Not the first time they'd been caught by the weather so he had extra jeans and a t-shirt and some warm socks in there. No underwear. He smiled softly to himself and looked over at Will's sleeping form. The only part visible of him were tufts of dirty-blond hair. He resisted reaching over and running his fingers through those soft curls and instead crawled out of the tent with his clothes under his arm.
It was early morning, the slowly warming air so clear he could taste dew on his tongue. The sun shone cheerily, the light breaking in every drop of drying rain on the grass, making it look like a field of diamonds. He shivered slightly and hurried to pull on his pants and then the t-shirt, looking around for his sneakers that he had kicked off sometime yesterday. Something about counting his toes or the hairs on his toes, he wasn't sure, the memory lost in tendrils of smoke. He found them stuffed under the side of the tent, shielded from the rain. Huh. Did he do that? He couldn't remember. Maybe Will had. He didn't seem to lose his sense as much as Liam did when drunk or high.
The shoes were a bit tight when wearing the thick socks but they were warm and cosy and he flexed his frozen toes a few times, warming them up. Then he went off, looking for dry twigs for the fire. It was already flickering, sausages hovering over the low flames, when Will stumbled out of the tent half an hour later, shivering and squinting his eyes in the sun.
“Hey. Good morning.”
Will blushed. “Morning.” He stifled a yawn and sat down on the log beside Liam, keeping his distance.
“You feel better?”
“Yeah.” He took a deep breath, eyes averted. “Look, Liam...”
Liam shook his head. “Don't. Don't apologise and don't say it was nothing and don't, don't say you regret it.”
Will swallowed. “I wasn't going to. But... it can't happen again.”
Liam's head snapped up and he stared at him in disbelief. “What? How can you say that? How can you... Why?”
“He'll know. He'll find out and...” Will shivered and wrapped his arms around his knees. “I don't want him to hurt you.”
Liam breathed out in relief, for a moment he'd thought Will was going to say it was because he didn't really want him that way. He threw his arm over Will's shoulder and pulled him closer. “He's not going to find out because we're not going back.”
Will jerked and stared at him in shock. “What?”
“I've figured it all out. We just have to go to my place to pick up some stuff and then we go to the bank to get the money.”
“But...”
“I'm not waiting two more years, Will. You're not going back. Fuck school. We're leaving.”
“We can't! I mean, you need to graduate and... We can't!” He blinked. “Can we?”
“Don't want to go to college anyway. Dad wants me to be a lawyer. Yeah, sure.” He rolled his eyes. “I want to be an artist and you, you want to write, right? Don't need college for that.”
“Your parents will kill you.”
Liam laughed. “They can't if I'm not there, can they?”
“My dad will kill my mum.”
Liam went quiet. Will slumped down, the tiny flicker of hope he'd glimpsed fading rapidly.
After a while of silence Liam glanced at him. “What were you going to do, in two years? You knew we were leaving at some time.”
“I don't know.” Will looked away. “I hadn't really expected being around in two years.”
The confession hit Liam in the gut. All those dark nights and sunny days they'd planned and plotted where to go and what to see, and all the time Will had thought he'd most likely be dead. He closed his eyes, the fear gripping him again. If he allowed Will to go back his prediction would quite possibly prove true. His dad would probably not kill him, no use wasting a good slave, but it was only a question of time before Will gave up. He didn't know whether it was the growing maturity, finally being able to grasp the horror of his situation, that was doing it but he could see the fragility in Will, feel how close he was to letting it swallow him whole, the desperation and the terror finally becoming too much to bear.
He refused to let that happen.
“I'll take care of it. Don't worry. He won't be able to do anything.”
Will looked up at him, hope again sparkling in his eyes. “How?”
“Leave it to me.” Liam squeezed his shoulders. “I know what to do. It will be all right.
“Promise?”
Liam nodded even if he felt anything but sure. “I promise.” He swallowed his worry and smiled. “So what do you say? Wanna go on a roadtrip?”
“We're really going?”
Liam grinned. “We're really going.”
He fell back, tumbling off the log as Will violently threw his arms around him, laughing with happiness.
------------------
Liam took a deep breath and reached for the phone, dialling the number he knew by heart but had never called in their 9 years. Through the window he could see Will sitting on the curb, clutching his bowed head in his hands. He had already thrown up twice, the guilt and fear of leaving his mother in the hands of his father making him sick.
“Hello?”
He jumped as the cautious voice suddenly sounded in his ear.
“Hello, Mrs Rayne? This is Liam.” He had never talked to her, never been to their home but she had to be aware of who he was.
She drew in her breath. “Oh. Is... Is William all right? Did something happ-”
“He's not coming back, Mrs Rayne. I'm taking him out of here.”
“What? No!” The panic in her voice was evident and for a moment he felt guilty. “Why are you-?”
“It's been going on long enough. Your husband...” He practically spit out the word. “... will not touch him again. Ever.”
“But...” She started crying, heavy sobs. “What am I supposed to do? He'll kill me. He'll...” She choked on her words.
He could feel the fury gripping him again. “Frankly, I don't care. Where I'm concerned you're just as guilty as he is. How could you let him do that to him!?! You're his mother! You're supposed to...” He stopped, the lump in his throat making him feel nauseous. “The only reason I'm calling is because he's worried sick about you.” He glanced out the window at Will who was now pacing the sidewalk in agitation. “There's a shelter on...” He checked the phonebook again. “... Brewster Road. The number is 555-7532. I've already called them, told them to expect you. I suggest you get there as soon as you can, only taking some essential things.”
“No, I can't! He'll find me.” She was sobbing heavily and he could envision her clutching the phone in her hand. “You can't do this to me!”
Oh for Christ's sake! “Mrs Rayne, this is not about you. Nothing you say will change my mind. I'm going to take care of him. I suggest you start taking care of yourself. And...” He grimaced. “Will asked me to tell you he loves you and that he's sorry. I told him he has nothing to be sorry about but you know how he is. Or maybe you don't. Whatever.” Will was staring up at the house, wringing his hands. “I have to go. Take care, if not for you then for him. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to you. Goodbye, Mrs Rayne.”
“Wait!”
He closed his eyes, wanting it over. “What?”
“Tell him... Tell him I'm sorry. And that I love him too.”
He sighed. Much good that would do. “I will. Look, I have to go now.”
“And tell him to never look back. Can you tell him that?” She was crying again and he felt a twitch of sad sympathy for her. “I do love him. Please believe me. Just... make sure he never comes back. Ethan will... Just take good care of my boy for me, please?”
“I will. Goodbye.”
He hung up, his hand trembling. It had been easy to blame her but the terror in her voice was so similar to Will's that for a moment he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Looking back out the window he watched Will sit down again, hiding his face in his hands and his conviction strengthened again. His responsibility lay with Will, to keep him safe. When it came down to it she was an adult and he was still a child.
He walked into the kitchen and read once more over the letter he'd written to his parents. He felt guilty for doing this to them but they had always let him do his own thing, more or less, and he hoped they trusted him enough to know he was doing what needed to be done. Probably not but there was nothing he could do about that. Writing that letter had been terribly hard and in the end he'd kept it as short as he could.
Dear mom and dad
I love you both but we're leaving. I have to get Will out of here before it's too late. Dr. Rayne has been sexually abusing and beating him for years and the only reason I didn't tell you was because he made me promise not to. I still should have because it's all much worse than I thought. I'm calling his mother to tell her to get out of the house before he finds out we're gone but maybe you should check up on her.
We have the tent and my car and I have money. I've been saving up for this I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. I'm sorry about that but I'm afraid if we don't go now it will be too late. I know you would say we should talk to the police but Dr. Rayne says he will kill both him and his mom if we do. I don't know if he would but Will thinks so. He has a gun in the bedside drawer, he's threatened Will with it many times.
I need to take care of him. I'm the only one he has and I should have done something years ago. Maybe you don't believe me because I know you like his dad but if you had paid any attention you would have seen it. Did you really think all those bruises and broken bones came from us playing? Did you never hear him crying in the night? I've known since I was 12 but I was a coward and now it's all much worse and it's my fault. So I have to fix it, I have to save him.
I'll be okay. We'll be okay. Please just let us go. I'll call you.
I love you.
Liam
He wiped his eyes and put the letter back in the envelope, propping it carefully up against the flower pot with his mother's favourite petunias on the kitchen table. They were sure to see it when they got home from their trip on Tuesday. With a last look around he squared his shoulders and straightened up, feeling for the first time like an adult and not just a frightened boy.
It was time to go.
----------------------------------------------------------
They drove until it was almost dark, only stopping a couple of times to stretch their legs and eat the sandwiches Liam had brought with them. They had decided they had to stay away from any public places, including diners, for as long as they could, to diminish the chances of anyone finding out in which direction they had gone. They'd headed south, mostly due to the weather still being rather chilly the higher up north they'd go.
When they finally stopped their bodies ached with exhaustion and as soon as the tent was up they fell asleep, side by side, although Will was soon snuggling up to Liam in his usual manner. Early the next morning they were off again, staring blurry eyed at the long winding road ahead of them. Around noon they had to stop for gas and Will hid in the woods while Liam filled up and paid, adding a couple of muffins and soda cans to the bill. Just before it got dark they crossed the state border, breathing a joined sigh of relief at having managed to come this far.
Quite possibly they had still not been reported missing. Liam's parents wouldn't be home until late the next day and if Will's mother had followed his suggestions she was out of reach to her husband and unlikely to tell anyone of their escape. On the other hand, if she hadn't... it would still take Dr. Rayne some time to find out which way they had gone and Liam doubted he would call the police. You never knew though, he was a master of lies. He could easily convince the police it was a simple case of teenage rebellion. And then, as soon as he knew where they were... Bang!
They put up the tent on the bank of a small river, so tired they couldn't even find the energy to talk. After eating the last of the sandwiches, they crawled under the sleeping bag, Will falling asleep immediately with Liam staying awake, pondering their situation. In another day or two they would be able to slow down a bit. This roadtrip was turning out quite different than the one they had been planning for so long. For one thing he hadn't planned on being on the run, and secondly...
He looked over at Will's sleeping face, so calm and that ever present smile that would never leave his lips these days. He reached over and stroke away a strand of hair from his eyes. They hadn't 'done' anything since that day. Not even kissed. He wasn't sure what to think of that. He wasn't even sure if he wanted them to... Okay, that was a lie, he really did want it but Will hadn't given him any signs of wanting it too and... He sighed. Everything was so confusing.
He hadn't really had any time to think until now. The last two days had been all haste and stress, no time to sit down and talk or just think about what was happening. And right this moment he was really too tired to manage much more than 'Will we make it?' and 'Am I gay?'
He closed his eyes and conjured up images of big breasts and smooth curves, pouty lips and fluttering eyelashes. His cock stirred and he reached down to stroke it lazily through his boxers. He imagined Cordelia smiling at him, cocking her head and letting her hair flow down over his face as she leaned over to kiss him. He was sure she tasted like cherries. His strokes sped up, his lips parting in shallow breaths. She kissed his neck and licked his ear, rubbing up against him and he reached down, running his hand over her smooth stomach and then further, hitching his breath as he found a nest of curls. She was wet, pearls of moisture easing his way between her legs.
This was where his fantasy got blurred. He didn't really know what it felt like although he'd seen plenty of pictures in Xander Harris' dirty magazines that his uncle provided him with. It was all pink and strange layers and they'd learned all the names in sex ed but he hadn't really paid that much attention, too busy snickering with the rest of the class. He tried to imagine what it would feel like, pushing a finger inside her. All wet and tight. He moaned and sped up again. One finger, then two... He was about to pull out and push his cock inside her when Will shifted beside him, mumbling in his sleep and then turned around, snuggling up close. At once his fantasy changed, he was kissing Will's soft lips, grinding his thigh against his cock, fingers deep inside him. So warm, so tight.
“Want you. Please, Lee.”
“Yes. Oh God.”
He pushed Will over on his back, pulling out his fingers and positioning his cock at his opening instead. Then he pushed inside in one smooth motion. Oh God! His fist tightened around his cock, jerking it faster and harder. Will was wriggling beneath him, moaning and slamming his hands down on the silk sheeted bed.
“Lee! Oh God, Liam! It's so good. So good!”
He slammed into him harder and harder, feeling Will clenching around him. So close. So damn close. He was gonna... nnngh!
He lay shivering, his hand and groin sticky with semen, his boxers pushed down to his knees sometime during his fantasy. He turned his head, burying his nose in Will's hair. He smelled so good. And he was so warm and soft and his eyes... Liam sighed. Seemed he was very gay. Or maybe it was just Will that did this to him. For some reason that thought made him feel better.
He wiped his fingers on his thigh, tugged up his boxers and turned to his side, pulling Will closer. Whatever it was he knew he wouldn't give Will up for all the girls in the world, not even Cordelia. Just the thought of not having Will in his life was too devastating to think through. He shuddered, hugging Will so tight he sniffled and half-opened his eyes, looking blearily up at him.
“Lee?”
“Sshh, go back to sleep.”
“Mmmm... okay.” He closed his eyes again and snuggled closer. “I was dreaming of you.”
Liam smiled. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Will breathed into his neck, tickling the small hairs. “You were teaching me how to swim in your pool. Remember that?”
Liam stilled. He felt guilty for his own dirty fantasy. Sometimes he forgot that Will was younger than him, that only a couple of years ago he was still reading comics and playing with Liam's Star Wars figures.
“Yeah, that was fun.”
Will raised his head and smiled up at him, then settled back down, yawning. “I dreamt I lost you and started sinking but you came and saved me. And then we lay on the grass and you held me tight and...” He yawned again, his jaw clicking with the strain. “... you told me you loved me.”
Liam closed his eyes, running his fingers through Will's hair. It was getting dirty, they would have to find somewhere to freshen up. Wash their clothes as well. They'd had to pack light, Will making do with what he'd brought to their camping trip since he couldn't go back to his house. Next town they hit Liam was going to buy him some clothes. Actually it wouldn't be too dumb to make some change in their appearance, lessening the chance of being recognised. The thought made him smile. It would be fun dressing Will up. Something very different. Something... wild. He leaned over and kissed the top of Will's head. “Well, I do.”
But Will was already asleep.
TBC
[ETA. I just realised I had forgotten to edit a few things. Originally they were on a bike but it became to impractical so I changed it. If you see any such mistakes still left please let me know.]
[ET2. This series has been discontinued. I'm sorry.]