Ficlet and inspiration photo: Blooming Obsession (Spike/onion, PG, 400 words)
A Sponion ficlet in the second person POV because I've been told a writer must never do this.
Title: Blooming Obsession
Pairing: Sponion
Setting: Buffy the Vampire Slayers, Season 4
Rating: PG
Length: 400 words
You know it's not love. That much is abundantly clear.
It's far worse. It's an obsession. The cravings scream of deprivation of logic, total desertion of sense. Of the evil vampire variety. And evil you are, even now, even with the bloody chip.
Just look at it. Named like a flower, but made with all of the subtlety of a heart attack, concealing burning tenderness beneath a spiky hard shell: the Blooming Onion. The way the golden skin would no doubt dip before giving way to the pressure of your fangs, sticky spicy sauce dribbling down your chin like half-congealed blood, the leisurely second serving from an earlier kill... Tasting of indolent satisfaction all the way down. From muscle memory, your tongue darts out to trace the contour of your upper lip.
You want it.
You want it.
You want it.
And you even have a fucking coupon for it, a new low, because having to bloody pay for it would ruin your good mood.
But this coupon thing is mighty inconvenient. There is simply no way to tuck a hand meant for bar brawls into the pocket of your too-tight jeans, all swagger and detached-like, and retrieve a carefully-folded, cut-along-the-dotted-line coupon, handing it over in a way that’d scream Big Bad, instead of penny-pinching poncy desperation.
You could brag that you robbed the newsstand in broad…uh, moonlight for the Sunday paper it came in, but you just know that the sour loser, ex-Poker buddy of a waiter giving you the stink eye from yonder will be spreading lies that you took your broke vamp ass dumpster-diving for it, carefully preserving the cash-equivalent with Harmony’s discarded manicure scissors, taking care to trace a perfect rectangular border as only an old-fashioned gentleman (with Victorian sensibilities!) would.
Yeeeah… Be better just to flash a newbie waitress your charms when the bill comes, and by charms you mean fangs, quite accidentally, of course, and pray that nobody has bothered to overshare with the flustered kid that Ol’ Spike’s been muzzled by the government’s classified research project to follow through on the tacit threat with actual bites.
Admittedly, it’s a risk. ‘Specially if that tightly-wound Slayer should be passing by, picking up on your scent of public humiliation and busting your ass for a, what, misdemeanor? But for the Blooming Onion-the delicious yet calories-free golden flower of your dreams? It’s a risk worth taking.
A/N: Inspired by:
1) Comic-inspired thoughts of Spike and food.
2) sb-fag-ends Feb month of "tainted love", week 1 prompt "Love is a Stranger" (by Eurythmics). Specifically, the lyrics:
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you so
It's an obsession
3) The Outback Steakhouse's coupon for a free Blooming Onion on Tumblr (by way of spikesjojo and our friends at Elysian Fields):
Title: Blooming Obsession
Pairing: Sponion
Setting: Buffy the Vampire Slayers, Season 4
Rating: PG
Length: 400 words
You know it's not love. That much is abundantly clear.
It's far worse. It's an obsession. The cravings scream of deprivation of logic, total desertion of sense. Of the evil vampire variety. And evil you are, even now, even with the bloody chip.
Just look at it. Named like a flower, but made with all of the subtlety of a heart attack, concealing burning tenderness beneath a spiky hard shell: the Blooming Onion. The way the golden skin would no doubt dip before giving way to the pressure of your fangs, sticky spicy sauce dribbling down your chin like half-congealed blood, the leisurely second serving from an earlier kill... Tasting of indolent satisfaction all the way down. From muscle memory, your tongue darts out to trace the contour of your upper lip.
You want it.
You want it.
You want it.
And you even have a fucking coupon for it, a new low, because having to bloody pay for it would ruin your good mood.
But this coupon thing is mighty inconvenient. There is simply no way to tuck a hand meant for bar brawls into the pocket of your too-tight jeans, all swagger and detached-like, and retrieve a carefully-folded, cut-along-the-dotted-line coupon, handing it over in a way that’d scream Big Bad, instead of penny-pinching poncy desperation.
You could brag that you robbed the newsstand in broad…uh, moonlight for the Sunday paper it came in, but you just know that the sour loser, ex-Poker buddy of a waiter giving you the stink eye from yonder will be spreading lies that you took your broke vamp ass dumpster-diving for it, carefully preserving the cash-equivalent with Harmony’s discarded manicure scissors, taking care to trace a perfect rectangular border as only an old-fashioned gentleman (with Victorian sensibilities!) would.
Yeeeah… Be better just to flash a newbie waitress your charms when the bill comes, and by charms you mean fangs, quite accidentally, of course, and pray that nobody has bothered to overshare with the flustered kid that Ol’ Spike’s been muzzled by the government’s classified research project to follow through on the tacit threat with actual bites.
Admittedly, it’s a risk. ‘Specially if that tightly-wound Slayer should be passing by, picking up on your scent of public humiliation and busting your ass for a, what, misdemeanor? But for the Blooming Onion-the delicious yet calories-free golden flower of your dreams? It’s a risk worth taking.
A/N: Inspired by:
1) Comic-inspired thoughts of Spike and food.
2) sb-fag-ends Feb month of "tainted love", week 1 prompt "Love is a Stranger" (by Eurythmics). Specifically, the lyrics:
And I want you
And I want you
And I want you so
It's an obsession
3) The Outback Steakhouse's coupon for a free Blooming Onion on Tumblr (by way of spikesjojo and our friends at Elysian Fields):